Quinn
Our ten-minute walk turns into thirty minutes as we detour, taking our time. We sing, laugh and skip our way back to the one place I never wanted to return to, but the one place I know I have to suffer. Just for Liv.
“So, we’re here,” I say, crouching down in front of her at the side of the road. The overgrown bush protects us from being seen by anyone in the house.
“Come inside,” she says, giving my hand a little tug.
“I can’t, baby,” I dismiss her with a shake of my head. “I’ll come and meet you again on Friday? Sound good?” I ask, hoping to distract her from asking me again. I always find it difficult to say her and her beautiful face.
“I’d love that.” She throws her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. “Can Josh come too?” She pulls back, smiling at him over my shoulder.
“Maybe,” I turn to look at him and he gives a loose lift of his shoulder. “But I need to ask you something, Liv. Something real important, okay?”
“What?”
I swallow hard, racking my brain as I try to word my questions right. “I need to know that you’re okay. Nobody has hurt you. You would tell me, right?” I search her eyes for a reaction. “If anyone ever hurts you, even if they tell you not to say anything, you have to tell me. Got it?” I whisper.
“I will,” she says puffing put her chest.
“I know I’m not living here anymore, but that doesn’t mean I can’t protect you. Okay?”
I hold out my hand to her, and she takes it. We clasp them together, pulling down and nodding at the same time. “Got it,” she beams.
“Remember. Don’t mention this to mom or Jared. They can’t know you’ve seen me, or they might get cross. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
“My lips are sealed,” she says, pressing her forefinger and thumb together, running them across her pursed lips. I reach out, pulling her close to me again.
“Love you, Livvy,” I choke out, not wanting to leave her here. I just wish my circumstances were better so I could take care of her myself. “Here,” I push my hands in my pockets, retrieving a twenty dollar bill. “Take this. Keep it all for yourself. Make sure to buy yourself something nice to eat.” I push it in her hand, wrapping her fingers around the bill.
“Love you,” she says before turning and taking the few steps closer to the house. She stops at the bottom of the steps. Holding out her hand, she blows me a kiss before taking one more step, completely out of sight.
“I hate this,” I let out a quiet growl before standing up from my crouching position. I hate that I have to leave her here.
Turning, I see Josh behind me, his stare hard on me. “You okay?” he asks, holding out his hand. I can’t help but take it, wanting what little comfort I can get from the innocent touch.
“I will be. I just have to work on getting my shit together. That little girl deserves better. I’m determined to be the one to give it to her.”
“She is pretty amazing,” he says with a nod of his head. “A bit like her big sister.” He pulls me closer to him and I melt into his hold. Is it wrong that I need him right now? That I need him to make me forget all the bad. He dips his head, his mouth so close to mine, I can feel his breath against my sensitive lips. I want to say not here. Not like this. But he doesn’t give me chance. He presses his lips to mine, kissing me deeply. I lean up on my tiptoes, using everything I have to kiss him back. Everything about him puts me on a sense overload. His scent, the way he tastes, it’s the perfect distraction.
“What was that for?” I choke out.
“Because I wanted to show you how amazing you are.”
I swing my head back and forth in disagreement. I’m letting that little girl down. I’m leaving her to suffer the same fate I’ve escaped. Only, no one knows what I’ve been through, what truly happened behind those closed doors. My chest heaves as the anxiety deep inside rises to an uncontrollable level. I step back from Josh, meeting his concerned eyes.
“Quinn … what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He holds his hand out, but I step further back. Clutching at my throat, trying to stop the bile from rising, I feel my flight instinct kicking in. I turn on the spot and my feet start moving.
I’m running.
Fast.
And I can’t stop.
My heart pounds and aches all at the same time. Every part of my body shakes and the adrenaline courses through my body. I can hear his voice but the words don’t resonate. I know I should stop, but I can’t.
“Quinn!” he yells louder and suddenly appears right in front of me. I jerk to a stop, hitting his firm torso. His arms wrap around me, pulling me into him in a bearlike hug. My muscles feel weak and tingle, my chest heaving as I struggle to breathe steadily.
“Shhh,” he soothes, running his smooth palm against the top of my head. “I got you.”
Burying my face into his chest, I feel my heart pounding against him. I do everything I can to stop my weak legs from buckling beneath me.
“Let’s get you in the car,” he says, holding me under the arms as he helps me back to his parked vehicle just at the end of the road. Unlocking it, he deposits me into the passenger seat, crouching besides me in the car.
“I’m not sure if it was something I said, but don’t run from me, Quinn. I’m here to help you.”
I look at his face, his features are hardened and his eyes are narrowed in on me. I sense he thinks my reaction is down to him, and that’s the last thing I want.
“This, this is not you,” I stutter through my shallow breaths. I feel like I’m suffocating. The anxiety mixed with my now new feeling of guilt makes me so nervous I can barely breathe.
“I kiss you, then you freak out. What else could this possibly be about?” he asks in a way that lets me know he’s hurting.
“This whole thing with my sister. Knowing I can’t help her right now. I’m struggling with that,” I explain. “I started to panic. I’m sorry,” I sniffle back. Josh reaches up, swiping his finger across my cheek. “You mean more to me than you’ll ever know,” I whisper.
His eyes widen and a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “I’m a mess,” I say, nervously admitting how fucked up I really am. I push my hands down the front of my jeans repeatedly. Josh’s hand covers my own. The warmth of his hand on mine makes my heart throb faster, and suddenly it isn’t because of fear, it’s because I love the feeling of his skin against mine.
“A mess?” He questions me with his eyes. “No, not a mess. I see a beautiful woman who feels stranded, helpless, just crying out to be loved. Whatever has happened, however bad that might be, just know that I’m here for you.”
“I don’t deserve your kindness,” I croak out, furiously fighting back the tears that threaten to break the seal.
“Sure, you do.”
“But why me, Josh? You could have anyone. You’re a good looking guy, you have a good job, plenty of money. Why would you want to help a homeless, no good, reject stripper like me?” I bubble out my words, trying to make sense of why this guy has offered me so much in such a short space of time.
“Because you can’t help who you are attracted to, Quinn. I’ve tried to find someone for years now; hoping to meet that one girl who makes my heart beat a little faster. That one girl that who can get under my skin, who I can’t stop thinking about. And you know what?”
“What?” I whisper.
“You’re that girl, Quinn. You’re the girl that’s gotten deep inside here,” he points to the side of his head. “And in here too,” he points at his chest, and my heart almost explodes. I lunge forward pressing my lips against his, skimming my hands over the sculpted planes of his back, pulling him so close to me. Our kiss is messy, all tongues but perfect. Part of me wants to pull back before I lose myself to him completely. But I can’t.
“Quinn,” he whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if he’s savoring them. I pull back a little, my heart fluttering in response to my name on his lips and the sound of his voice. Never has my name sounded so beautiful. This guy is perfection and he wants me. He wants me despite the fact that I’m broken, so damn broken.
Josh
The next few days are perfection. Quinn has let her guard down, allowing herself to open up a little about the pains of her past. Although, I get the feeling there’s more to it, though.
I can’t wait to surprise Quinn after her shift at the bar. I have an idea. It’s simply the most beautiful place to take her; I just know she’s going to love it.
I drive the short distance to the bar, pulling up and waiting right outside. I have everything I need in the trunk of the car, and I mentally check my list to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything.
A knock on the window startles me. I whip my head, taking in the beauty that is staring back at me.
“Quinn,” I say with a flash of a smile. My eyes are fixed on her as I watch her skip around the vehicle. Reaching over, I thrust open the passenger door.
“Hey,” she says in the sweetest voice. “Looks like I’d lost you in thought,” she chuckles, sliding in and pulling the door closed behind her. Every time I see her I feel like I can barely breathe, like she has stolen every breath I have. It’s so sad that she can’t see what an amazing person she is.
“Just checking I have everything for tonight.” I push my hand towards her, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear.
“Why?” she quietly gasps. “What’s happening tonight?”
“Well,” I say, leaning my arm across the back of her seat. “I kinda decided that Thursday nights should be date night. So tonight Quinn, you have a date… with yours truly.”
Her hand meets the side of my face, cupping it gently. Leaning in, she places a delicate kiss against my lips. I can’t help the nervous swallow which accompanies my thudding heart.
We hold hands and chat casually about our working days. Quinn tells me all about her plans to find work in school as soon as her degree is complete.
“I have names and numbers of a few schools that might be willing to employee me. I made quite an impression at the schools where I did some of my training. Edge Hill School was my absolute favorite,” she beams. I snap my eyes at her, my mouth going slack a little.
“Edge Hill,” I repeat.
“Yeah, Edge Hill,” she confirms with a smile. “Why?” she asks with a tilt of her head.
“My mom is the principal.”
“No way,” she gasps, her hand covering her mouth.
“Uh-uh,” I nod. “She just got a new position there. I will have to introduce you to her. She’ll love you,” I say, gently squeezing her hand.
“No. No,” she repeats. “If I get a job, I want it to be on my own merit.”
“Oh, and it will be. My mom would only employ the best.”
We drive for another thirty minutes until we finally reach our destination. The drive takes us to one of the highest points in Portland. The drive alone has some amazing views over downtown Portland. We drive steadily for about a mile up a very curvy road.
“This is so beautiful!” Quinn gasps, her neck craning as she looks at the amazing scenery of Portland. “I didn’t even know this place existed.”
“Pretty, right?”
“Uh, uh,” she replies.
The car jostles from side to side as I take the car off the beaten track.
“Oh,” she cries, her nails digging into the seat as she tries to steady herself. “Can we drive here?” she asks, and I can hear the panic in the tightness of her voice.
“It’s my favorite unknown place,” I reassure her, “don’t worry, I’ve been here before.” Finally I stop, parking the car just yards from the cliffside. I look over to Quinn who has her hands over her eyes, and I let a small chuckle escape me. “Keep your hands there,” I suggest, jumping from the car and racing round to her side. “Tightly, no peeking,” I tease, opening her door as I take her arm and help her out. Leading her slowly, I stop at the one spot where I know the views are the best.
“Okay, you can open now,” I whisper, my hot breath on her ear causes her to shudder. I place one hand over each of hers, slowly removing them.
“Oh wow!” She gasps. “this is breathtaking. I didn’t even know views like this exist.”
“It’s stunning, right?”
“I love it,” she spins on the spot, wrapping her arms around my neck tightly.
The bright lights of downtown reflect on the water below. The view from this look out is spectacular. The hustle and bustle of downtown can be heard, but not seen from here. The peaceful spot is like heaven. We are secluded by the trees that surround us, and being here, just the two of us in my favorite place feels so special.
I lean down, placing a gentle kiss on her delicious lips. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her up from the floor. “Here, sit here.” I place her on the hood of the car.
“Why?” she asks with a furrow of her brow.
I tap the side of my nose and she responds with a smirk. I head to the trunk and retrieve the picnic basket and blanket. I use the small space beside us to set out the blanket, placing the picnic basket there before turning my attention back to Quinn. I stop momentarily, sucking in a huge breath as I look at the girl and open my mouth to say something to her. But I can’t. The words catch in my throat as I hesitate.
“You thought of everything,” she says, clasping her hands together in front of her. “Josh, I love this. I can’t imagine anywhere I’d rather be than here with you!”
I lean into her, dragging her ass until she’s positioned right in front of me. Seeing her happy makes me feel like I achieved what I set out to do. Her hand caresses my cheek and I seal my lips over hers. I kiss her deeply, covering her body with mine. She tastes good, so damn good. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of kissing this girl.
“I need you so bad,” I admit against her lips.
“Josh,” she sighs, but it’s more like a moan.
“Tell me you want me too, Quinn, tell me you feel the same. I need to hear you say it.” I work my tongue against her, our breathing is rapid and my hands roam everywhere.
“I’ve ached for your touch since the last time, Josh. I want you, but that scares me. I’m scared about the way you make me feel.”
“This is new for me too, Quinn.” I grab hold of her hand and place it against my heart that beats so rapidly. “That is what you do to me. You make my heart beat at a pace that I’ve never experienced before. Please stop fighting your feelings for me.”
I’m startled by the contact of her lips crashing against mine. She kisses me with pure, raw passion, her hands working up and through my hair. I lay her back against the hood of the car, my hand skims over her breast, working lower until I’m tugging at her waistband. I know she wants this. I can tell by the way her breaths have quickened, how her body is reacting to me. Jacking her hips upward, she closes the small space between us.
Here and now, it’s just the two of us. No words are spoken. We kiss intensely, my body craving to touch her in all the right places.
She lifts her hips, as if giving me an unspoken instruction. I tug lightly on the band of her jeans. I wiggle them just enough, until they remove freely. She looks directly at me, her pretty green eyes meeting mine. They are full of something, something that tells me she wants this as much as I do. Dropping her jeans and panties to the floor, I swallow so fucking hard as my eyes scrape over this beauty laid on the hood of my car. She is the total vision of perfection. The sort of perfection that makes my dick strain so fucking hard against my pants.
Every part of my body is aching to touch her. I get a rush of delight as I lower my hand, cupping her sex. I rub slowly, gently pushing in between her folds, flicking and catching her sweet, sensitive spot.
I skim my thumb over her clit, swirling and teasing before pushing my fingers inside of her. Her hands are sprawled out at the side as she grips onto the shiny paintwork, her back arching as her moans increase.
“So good. Don’t stop,” she breathes, her words broken and her eyes clamped shut. I watch her face, wanting to savor this moment, this vision of her writhing on my car. I’d waited a lifetime to meet someone this good. Someone that can make me feel.
I continue to work her into a frenzy. Everything about this turns me on to the point of explosion. I have to get inside her, and fast.
“I need to feel you,” I breathe. “You sure you want this?”
“Of course,” she gasps. She pushes herself up until our faces are practically touching, her hand strokes the side of my face. I’m mesmerized by her, my eyes searching her face, waiting for her to break the silence. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you now. Everything about this feels right.” I press the palm of my hand against hers, leaning into her touch. Swallowing heavily, she licks her lips. “Make love to me, Josh.”
My heart beats faster than before, faster than I thought humanly possible. My eyes are glued to hers. I don’t want to break the connection we have in this moment as I reach down, unfastening the button on my jeans. I push them down just enough to free my painfully straining erection. I loop my arm around her back, pulling her gently until her ass rests on the edge of the hood. Grabbing each of her ankles, I place her legs against my shoulders, her pussy in just the right position. I run my cock up and down her folds. She’s so wet for me and I push into her effortlessly. A sexy growl escapes her and as I lean over her, she reaches up, grasping my hair with both of her hands.
Fuck. I love everything about this.
I pound into her, building the intensity, my need becoming greedy. Our breathing quickens and becomes heavy. Our chests heaving as we make love. It’s like something inside me has changed in this single moment. A spark has been ignited. A fire burns deep within my chest. It’s borderline painful, but there is one thing I know with absolute certainty. It’s a pleasure I’ve never experienced. A feeling I always knew existed, but never had.
Until now.
“Fuck, Quinn,” I growl out as my heart soars to a new level. I look her deeply in the eyes. They’re shiny and somewhat dilated. Our bodies mold together as one in this moment.
“Mine,” I whisper to her. “Tell me you’re mine.”
The look in her eyes tells me what I need to know, way before her mouth responds. “Yours Josh, all yours.”
A bolt of arousal shoots through me as the words leave her mouth. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on. Quinn pants, her moans intensifying. I pump into her, grabbing a handful of her ass, working her harder onto my cock, my orgasm is close. So fucking close.
I thrust a little more before I climax, the haze washes over me as feel the deep and intense pleasure race through my body. I slow my pace as my cock pulsates inside of her. I drop my head forward, resting against her forehead.
“I never want to lose this feeling of being with you,” I whisper, cupping the back of her head with my hand. “I’ve fallen for you, Quinn.” The admission falls loosely from my lips; my insides tighten as I wait anxiously for her response. The few seconds of silence feels like hours and I’m hoping to god I haven’t blown it.
“I don’t really know how to explain how I feel,” she says with a gently sigh, her shoulders sagging simultaneously. “I feel so crazy right now. Like, I’m not really supposed to feel this way.”
“What way?
“Like I’m falling in love with you.”
“You really like this place, huh?” I ask, breaking the silence, looking deep into her beautiful eyes. Her face lights up a little, her smile reaching to her eyes.
“This is a pretty awesome make out spot you brought me to,” she quips, a small chuckle escaping her.
“It wasn’t a make out spot. But now, I kinda guess it is, right?” I ask with a cock of my head.
We sit on the blanket, a plastic glass of champagne in Quinn’s hand, a Coke in mine. The smell of the fresh grass, the light provided by downtown makes for a pretty special picnic spot. Quinn leans into me, resting her head against my chest.
“Perfection,” she exhales, “Yeah. That’s how I’d sum up tonight. Utter perfection.”
“It’s only perfect because you’re here with me,” I reply, stroking the side of her head.
“I could stay here all night with you,” the words fall like a whisper from her lips, “only tomorrow will still be waiting for me.” The sadness in her tone unsettles me. I lean forward a little, bending my head until I’m in her line of sight.
“Whatever it is, Quinn, whatever you are dreading, we can do it together, let me help you.”
“Help me,” she chokes out. “You have no idea what is going on.”
“Tell me, then. Don’t keep it all bottled up... I can help you.”
I watch as she swallows heavily. “I’m scared I have too much baggage. That once you know who I really am, that, well, it will scare you off.”
I look into her eyes, the mist of tears build and I can’t help but worry about what it is she’s hiding. I want to tell her I will be there no matter what, but I have no idea what it is she’s so desperate to keep hidden from me.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say, rubbing my finger across her bottom lip. “Just tell me what’s eating you,” I press her further.
“I will,” she sniffles, “Just not tonight. Tonight, I just want us to make memories.”
I pull her back into me, nodding against her chest. As she settles into me, it’s like our bodies blend together as one. She is beyond perfect, if only she could see it.