Quinn
Holding onto the side of the bathroom counter, I stare at the person looking back at me. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe how lucky I am. But that person staring back, well, it’s like she’s trying to haunt me. As if I’m not allowed to forget.
Despite having Josh and knowing that he rescued me when I was at my lowest, my past is something I just can’t seem to escape. I’m scared to tell him the truth and admit how tainted I really am. I’m scared that telling him my darkest secrets could mean I might lose him forever, and that’s not a risk I ever want to take. I reach and turn the tap, placing my hand under the stream of water. I let my hands fill with just enough before splashing it over my face. I need to focus. Push the bad memories out and look forward to the future. The only way I can do that is to make as much money as I can working at the bar, and to concentrate on finishing my teaching degree. Teaching is the only job I’ve ever wanted. I want to make the difference to the children I teach. I want to inspire, show them learning with kindness and compassion. I want to be the role model I so desperately needed when I was a little girl.
I grab the towel, dabbing my face, glancing one last time in the mirror. I have to be stronger. I have to make sure that I’m the one who can step up and take care of my sister. I know I can, I’ve been doing it all my life, but financially, I need to get on my feet. Find a place of my own.
Walking out of the bathroom and across the hallway, I stare down over the bannister to Josh. A small chuckle escapes me as I watch him singing and dancing away in the kitchen. My heart pounds harder and I feel like it’s about to burst out of my chest.
In the darkness, Josh was my shining light. He saved me. Not just from being homeless, but he saved me from feeling lost. He gave my heart somewhere to belong. I won’t ever forget all he’s done for me. But my heart aches. I want him so badly, every part of him. If only the other part of me, that part that tells me I’m not good enough, if only I could push that feeling away long enough to make this work with him.
“Hey,” he sings as his smile widens as does his eyes. “Come see what I got for you.”
I walk over to the kitchen area, and my attention is instantly caught by the smoke pluming from the toaster.
“Josh!” I yell, pointing to the toaster.
He spins on the spot, racing over and pressing the button. “Oh shit!” he cries trying to grab the toasted bread, but clearly burning his fingers in the process.
“Ouch! Shit! Ouch!” he yelps as he juggles the burnt toast in his hands.
“Here, let me open the balcony door.” I walk over, unlocking it and sliding it open. I watch as he frantically waves a dish towel in an attempt to clear the smoke.
“Well, shit. There goes my attempt at breakfast,” he jokes, and I can’t help but laugh at the faces he’s pulling. I step closer to him, swaying my hand back and forth as I try and clear the smoke from my sight.
“I love that you were trying to do this for me,” I say with a huge smile. I slide up onto the worktop, reaching forward and grabbing a handful of his shirt. “You’re all the breakfast I need,” I say before leaning in and kissing him deeply. His arms wrap around me as we intertwine as one.
As he draws back, his thumb rubs back and forth across my cheeks. “This is for keeps, right? You know, the whole you and me thing. We’re actually doing this?”
“I guess we are,” I say, biting the tip of my tongue. “I’m still going to get my own place, you know, as soon as I can afford to,” I admit. “Besides, you’ll soon get fed up of me and want your man space back.” I reach up, pushing back the strands of hair that have fallen onto his forehead. My eyes drift to his and I can’t help but pull back and study his expression.
“What’s that look for?”
“I’m just confused,” he says, shaking his head loosely. He tries to step back, but I tighten my grip, pulling him back into me. “Can I ask you something?” he asks, grabbing a hold of the counter top.
“Why don’t you want to stay here? With me?”
“It makes more sense for me to have my own place.”
“Why does it?” He presses me further.
I show him a sad smile. “I need to take care of my sister, Josh. She needs me. She deserves something better than my mother. I’ve practically raised her myself and I hate not being with her, taking care of her and knowing she’s okay.”
“But here,” he says, his eyes roaming the huge apartment. “Why can’t she stay here? With the both of us?”
“I, I, I, couldn’t possibly expect that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s too soon, Josh. What happens if it doesn’t work between us? What would I do then, huh? Where would we go? I couldn’t put her through that. I need to be the one to provide her stability.”
“I understand,” he sighs just a little, “but know the offer is always open.”
“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”
“You deserve to be loved, Quinn, the right way and for all the right reasons. Your smile lights up the whole room and you don’t even realize it.”
I shake my head a little, “Oh, I’m not sure…” but I’m cut off by his lips against mine, brushing so delicately, causing a shiver to vibrate through my whole body.
“Shhh,” he whispers against my lips, “You are so deserving. You just need to start believing.”
“I’ve done nothing for you. I have only myself to give.”
“You’re here with me now, making memories. Making me feel things I’ve wanted to feel with someone for so long. You’re that someone, Quinn. You’re my missing piece. And that will always be more than enough.”
His hot breath moves from my lips, trailing down my jaw and landing on my neck. He nibbles and teases the sensitive skin on my neck and I tilt to the side, allowing him access. My whole body feels like it’s on fire, my hands fall over his sculpted back.
“How much time have we got?” he pants.
“Long enough,” I breathe out, placing a hand on either side of his face, drawing his attention back to me. His hand gently skims from my ankle and up my thigh. I shudder at the tenderness of his touch, goosebumps covering my body. I link my legs together around him, pulling him as close as possible. I want him so badly. I feel my heart pounding and my cheeks flush as the need consumes me. Everything about him turns me on.
His scent.
His smile.
His touch.
His kiss is all consuming, like it’s an attempt to claim me. And it’s working. Slowly but surely I’m falling deeper and deeper into a hole I don’t think I’ll ever want to get out of.
I yelp out in surprise when his hand grabs my ass, pulling me closer, positioning me on the end of the counter.
“Lucky you’re wearing a skirt today,” he hums, his free hand works up my skirt, his fingers work inside the seam of my panties. He pulls my panties to the side, freeing me from the confines of my underwear.
“So fucking perfect,” he groans, working his finger up and down my folds, catching and flicking my clit. I drop my head back, resting my arms against the counter.
“You’re so wet for me, Quinn. Tell me how much you want to feel me.” His voice is laced with desire and I can’t deny how much I want him. How much I want to scream out his name.
“I want you, Josh. Only you,” I pant as the tingle between my legs is almost too much. My heart throbs so fast, my body yearns for him.
He releases his hold on my ass, reaching for the button on his pants before unfastening them and kicking them off completely. He grabs hold of his hard, swollen cock, stroking back and forth while his other hand continues to work my clit. I can feel my body tightening as he works me, closer and closer to the edge. Josh guides his cock to my entrance, stroking up and down until pressing against my entrance. I’m ready for him, desperate to feel him inside of me. A guttural moan escapes him as he slowly thrusts inside me. He drives over and over and I can’t help the moans of ecstasy that fall from my mouth, the intensity building with each repetition. I can feel myself tightening around his cock, his thumb circling my clit, sending me dangerously close to climaxing.
“Oh god,” I cry out, the pleasure now almost unbearable.
“Come for me, baby,” he purrs as he continues to work me. Within seconds I feel my whole body tense as the tantalizing wave of euphoria rips through me and I ride through my violent orgasm. My stomach muscles spasm as I come hard. I drop my head back, my breathing labored and all over the place.
“Jesus,” I breathe out, my chest heaving with every breath I take.
“Not Jesus,” he corrects, “it’s Josh,” he laughs, but continues to drive deeper and deeper, searching for his own release.
It doesn’t take long, a few thrusts later and I feel him swell inside of me, a groan solidifying what I already knew.
“Fuck, Quinn,” he cries out as he comes inside of me. He slows his thrust, wrapping his arm around the low of my back and pulling me closer to him. I reach up placing a hand either side of his face, pulling him into me. I place soft, light kisses on his lips, over and over and the smile on his face is enough to keep me warm on a cold night. What just happened between us was a quick moment together in the kitchen, but everything about it was perfect. He’s the perfect example of perfection. My perfection.
“So, you need me to come with you again? You know, to see your sister,” he asks as we make our way out of the building and down to the parking lot.
“I’d love that,” I smile, squeezing his hand a little.
“I’ll come get you. Same time as before?”
“It is,” I advise with nod of my head. “Did the garage say when I can expect my truck to be fixed?” I ask as I step into his car.
“Quinn,” He sighs, his shoulders slumping as he reaches for his belt. “I spoke to the guy yesterday, he’s working on getting a quote, but he doesn’t think it’s worth the repair.”
“But I need that truck,” I exhale heavily.
“It might be cheaper just to buy a new one Quinn, rather than spending money on this one. It just makes sense.”
“Not to me,” I snap unintentionally. “I don’t have the money for a car, Josh, you know this.”
“I said I will help,” he quickly replies.
“I can’t take more money from you, Josh. I’m getting myself into debt I don’t know I can afford to repay.”
“I’m your boyfriend, Quinn. I’m not a bank.”
I snap my head, turning and looking at him with wide eyes. “So,” I pause for a second, tilting my head to the side as I fight back smile. “We’re official. Like REAL boyfriend and girlfriend. Which, by the way, sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud.”
“What do you prefer, then?” he questions. “My plus one, my lover, my soulmate…”
“Okay, okay,” I laugh, holding my hands up in a mock surrender, “you got me. Girlfriend is fine.”
His deep laughter fills the car as we make our way out of the parking lot.
After a long but productive day spent in classes, I race out of there eager to see Josh and make the journey to collect my sister from school. I need to know Olivia is okay. Every day without her is tearing me apart. It’s like a part of me is missing without her by my side. I vow to change that, and soon. My university degree will be finished soon, and I just need to find schools willing to give me a chance. I’m lucky that I was placed at some fantastic schools during my internship, schools who gave me the option to return when I’ve completed my degree. I’m just hoping and praying they lead to me getting a job.
A job that I so desperately need. A job that will provide security for Olivia.
I run out of the building, clutching onto my books, my eyes scouring the parking lot for Josh’s car. I hold my hand just above my brow shielding my eyes from the brightness of the sun. I step up onto my tiptoes and spot him stood lazily against his car just to the left of the entrance. Shit, he looks hot in his grey fitted shirt. If the heat of the day didn’t make me flush, seeing him standing there certainly has. His smile widens as soon as he lays eyes on me, pushing his body away from the car with his foot. I watch, as if in slow motion, how he races over to me, reaching for the workbooks in my hand.
“Let me take those,” he offers, relieving me from the bulk of all the books. “Shit,” he says with a chuckle as his arms drop a little at the unexpected weight. “This is a lot of books. You need all these?” he asks with a cock of his head.
“Sure,” I reply, “I need these to make sure I pass the state test. It’s the last step in me becoming a fully-fledged kindergarten teacher.”
“You’re amazing, do you know that,” he smirks at me before continuing, “and, if my arms weren’t totally breaking right now, I would be hugging and kissing you.”
I give him a little sideways smile. “Let’s get in the car before your arms give way.”
“There is nothing wrong with my arms,” he mutters giving me a little nudge with his elbow as we make our way over to his car.
We drive the short distance to the school, parking in pretty much the same spot as before. I run out, eager to not miss Olivia. I stand at the gate as floods of children emerge, my eyes scanning all the faces, looking for my beautiful little sister. She has the lightest blond hair I’ve ever seen. She loves to wear it in a high bun which she does for herself. But the one thing I search for, the one thing I know makes Olivia stand out from the crowd. Her eyes. They are so distinguishing. Her bright blue, ocean like eyes shine bright even in the darkest of rooms.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I light the screen, checking the time. “Dammit,” I mutter to myself wondering where she could be. The wave of children now becomes a trickle, but there’s still no sign of her. I glance back over to Josh and I see his eyes are fixed on me, full of concern. I drop and lift my shoulders, holding out my hands, gesturing that I have no idea where she is. I snap my head in the direction of the footsteps I hear approaching.
“Hey,” he calls out a little breathlessly, “did we miss her?”
“I don’t know,” I let out a sigh. “I’m worried, Josh,” I admit crossing my arms tightly over my chest, trying to squash the anxiety I feel tightening in my chest. I resume my search on the yard and spot a familiar face.
“Annabelle,” I call to the little brown haired girl that I’ve seen before with Olivia. I’m sure they are in the same class. “You remember me, right?” I smile widely at her, hoping she recognizes my face and I don’t look like some crazy kid stalker.
“Of course,” she replies sweetly, “You’re Olivia’s big, big sister,” she stops just in front of me, placing a hand on her cocked hip. Sassy little thing.
“Oh good,” I clap my hands together in front of me. “So, has she been at school today? I’m worried I didn’t get here in time…”
She doesn’t give me chance to finish before answers me. “No,” she shakes her head more than necessary. “She hasn’t been to school today.”
My heart pounds in my chest, the bile rising in my throat. “Thank you honey,” I reach forward brushing the top of her arm lightly. I slowly turn to see Josh stood right behind me, waiting patiently.
“I don’t know what to do,” I choke out, storming back to the car, as I feel the need to get away from here. Do something. Anything. I have to go find her. I need to know she is okay.
“Wait up, Quinn,” I feel Josh’s hand on my arm, but I pull away sharply.
“No,” I say, fighting back the tears. “I knew something like this would happen. I need to know she’s okay. She has to be okay…”
“Hey,” he places two firm hands on my waist, pulling me to an eventual stop. “Talk to me,” he says in a calm, placating voice. “Look at me.” I feel the sudden touch of his finger as he hooks in under my chin, his body appearing in front of me. “What do you need me to do?”
“Take me to the house.”