Chapter Four
~ Ivy ~
Jasmine was asleep when I got home. After seeing out Mrs. Celia, our neighbor and Jasmine’s sitter, I headed to the kitchen to snag a bottle of water. Normally, I’d grab a glass of wine, but the tequila from earlier in the evening still churned in my gut. Raina and I had gone through quite a bit before the James pack had shown up to break up our girls’ night.
With Raina on my mind, I picked up my phone and tapped her name, hitting call.
“Raina, it’s me. Give me a call when you get this. I want to make sure you’re okay. I’m here if you need me. One call and I’ll take out the entire James pack to get to you.” I laughed a little, knowing she’d get a kick out of that thought. “Love you. Take care of you.”
I’d just ended the call when I heard Jasmine padding toward the kitchen. She peeked around the corner then ran across the space that separated us, teddy bear clutched in her arm. I felt the impact of her body and knew from the way she shook that she’d had another nightmare. I managed to maneuver us both to a chair and dropped into it, pulling her into my lap.
Jasmine was petite, small even for her age. She was all big, brown eyes and long, caramel-colored hair. Honestly, there were times it was like looking at myself when I was her age.
“Another bad dream?” I whispered, but I already knew the answer. She’d had them on and off since Rowan’s death. He’d been the most prominent male in her life, more father or brother than family friend, and she was taking his death hard.
Her answer was lost in my chest where she’d burrowed as soon as she’d settled in my lap. I hugged her close, rocking until she calmed down enough to untuck her head. Her thumb went immediately to her mouth, a habit she’d picked back up since we’d lost Rowan. I hated to see her hurting so badly, but even I couldn’t protect her from the loss of a loved one.
“How about some hot cocoa?”
“I’ll get the chocolate,” she offered, pushing off my lap and heading toward the drawer where we kept our supply of candy. She took out a bag of milk chocolate chips and brought them to me.
“Get the milk,” I said as I pulled out a pot.
We worked in silence, falling into the familiar rhythm of making homemade cocoa. I was just pouring it into mugs when there was a knock at the door. I knew who it was. Felt it as if he were standing beside me. I glanced at Jasmine and wondered what to tell her about Cyan, because despite my best efforts, they were going to meet.
“Here. Drink your cocoa while I get rid of whoever’s at the door.” I pointed to the chair then headed toward the front door.
There was a briskness to my step, and I knew as much as I wanted to deny it, I was glad to see him. How had he managed to get under my skin so quickly? And how did I get him out?
“What do you want?” I said as I opened the door a scant few inches. He easily pushed past.
“You left.”
I shoved the door closed and turned to face him. He towered over me, and somehow, our height difference was more distinguishable this time. Perhaps because I wasn’t over his shoulder or sitting on the hood of a vehicle.
“The night was over,” I assured him.
He shook his head, and his lips tugged up at one corner. “Our night was just beginning.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I disagreed. “You need to leave.”
He crossed those massive arms over his broad chest. I’d known it wouldn’t be that easy.
“Listen, Cyan. Now, isn’t the time for whatever you have in mind. I—”
“Ivy.” My sister poked her head out of the kitchen. She took one look at Cyan and darted around him to cling to me.
I swear I felt him catch his breath as he stared at her. His glance bounced between the two of us, then he stooped down, one knee touching the floor while the other pointed toward us, sort of in a half squat. His muscles bulged, and I did a little breath catching of my own, though I’m sure it wasn’t for the same reason.
“You must be Jasmine,” he said, and I wondered how he knew my sister’s name. “Well, now, you’ve made me think I need to reconsider why I’m here.”
“Why’re you here?” Jasmine asked, tilting her head to look at him.
“Your sister’s my mate. She ran, so I had to chase her.”
Jasmine giggled, and it startled me, stopping the sharp rebuke on my tongue.
“You’re the big, bad wolf?” Jasmine asked around another giggle.
“Only when I need to be,” he vowed, and he looked far too serious to me.
Before I realized she was moving, my sister was across the room, standing in front of Cyan. She reached out and touched his forearm.
“You’re really big.”
“And strong,” he added.
She glanced at me then back to him and nodded. “Can you keep the monsters out of my dreams?”
Her words were a soft whisper, but they hit my heart with a mighty blow.
“That’s my specialty,” he assured her. He brushed a finger under her eye, and I knew he was noting the dark circles there. “Are there monsters in your dreams, Jasmine?”
She nodded. “Fire monsters.”
“I’m especially good at dealing with those,” he promised.
I hurried over to her. “Jasmine.” I pulled my sister into my arms and held her tight. I knew what those fire monsters were about.
“I’m okay,” she swore, shaking me off. “I’m okay.”
She turned to Cyan again and held out her hand. It did something to my heart when he took it and stood beside her. My dainty sister looked like a doll next to him.
“We’re having cocoa. Want some?”
“Do you have marshmallows?” he asked.
“We forgot the marshmallows!” Jasmine shouted then tugged Cyan’s hand and led him into the kitchen, jabbering the whole way.
She’d accepted him so easily I felt a bit jealous. One look and his promise to chase the monsters from her sleep, and Jasmine was ready to share her cocoa with him. That was a huge thing if you knew how much my sister loved her cocoa. How was I supposed to handle this? He’d been hard enough to walk away from earlier. This was all new territory for me, frightening territory if I were honest. I walked over and flipped the lock on the front door before following them into the kitchen. My mind scrambled. How did I deal with him now that he seemed to have an ally in my sister?
Before I even pushed into the kitchen, I heard their voices, laughing with an easy camaraderie. I had to close my eyes and lean my head against the wall for a moment. It was reminiscent of when Rowan was still alive. Did I dare let another man into her life? One who already assumed too much when it came to me? Hell, he’d even told Jasmine he was my mate.
I stepped in, and before I realized Cyan’s intent, I found myself sitting on his lap, which had Jasmine giggling again. I couldn’t hold back my smile. It was good to see her laugh.
“What were you two laughing about before I joined you?” I asked, trying to sit as straight as I could on his lap. I didn’t want to make a scene in front of my sister, but I wasn’t going to lean into him either.
“If you mate my sister, that’ll make you my brother, right?” Jasmine asked.
Cyan nodded, one hand around my waist, the other running up and down my spine.
“I’ve always wanted a brother.”
“Jasmine,” I began, not wanting to dim her smile but unable to let her believe what Cyan said.
“I’m going back to bed.” Jasmine jumped out of her chair, leaned in to give me a quick kiss, paused, then leaned in to give Cyan one, as well. “Night.”
I shook my head as she disappeared, then I tried to push off Cyan’s lap.
“I think I’ll keep you right where you are for now,” Cyan said, tugging on me until I tumbled back against his chest. I landed a sharp jab into his stomach with my elbow, but I think it hurt me more than it did him. “Settle down, Ivy. All I want to do is talk. For now.”
“It’s late, Cyan. I’m ready for bed.”
“And here, I thought you’d want to talk first.”
“What are you doing here, Cyan?” I refused to take that bait.
“I met an interesting person tonight. Had a lot to say.”
I stiffened against him. “Austin Mickel and the Dempsey brothers are far from interesting, and I wouldn’t believe any of the lies they spew.”
“I wasn’t talking about them.”
“Look, Cyan, I—” I broke off as I turned and saw his right arm where the sleeve was darkened with what looked like blood. “They hurt you?”
He looked surprised as I leaned in and eased the material out of the way. I wiggled then elbowed him again when he tried to hold onto me. “Damn it, Cyan. Let me get up, so I can clean this for you. You don’t know where those blades might have been.”
He grunted but released me. I walked over to the cabinet by the stove and knelt to grab the first-aid kit I kept there. I turned back toward him and almost swallowed my tongue as I took in the new view. He’d removed his shirt. Skin glistened. The heavy pelt of chest hair beckoning for me to run my fingers through it.
“Ivy.”
His voice broke the spell, and I hurried over, ripping open an antiseptic wipe and cleaning the cut. It wasn’t much of a wound. More like the blade had scraped then sliced, and it was already healing. Still, I put some ointment on it then moved away, putting up the kit, throwing away the trash then washing my hands.
“Aren’t you going to ask me who I met?”
“No.” I shook my head for emphasis, keeping my back to him, my palms braced on the sink. I expected him to stalk me, to pin me against the counter. He did neither.
“I met Rebbie.”
I closed my eyes as guilt hit me. I hadn’t checked on her in the last few weeks, and I should have. I knew how bad her home life could get. I’d gotten busy with my and Jasmine’s everyday life and lost track of time.
“Her face was bruised. She asked me to help her find a safe place for the night.”
“Fuck,” I growled, pushing away. “I told her to come to me. This time, I’ll beat the shit out of her mother and anyone who tries to stand in my way. What did she say? Is she all right?”
“I made sure of it. I’ll take care of her mother, too. Rebbie had some interesting things to say.”
“Such as?”
“She said Rowan Byrd watched out for the two of you.”
“Rowan watched out for the entire pack. He was our alpha.”
“She said the two of you had a close relationship,” he stated, and I finally turned to look at him again.
“We did.”
It was his turn to growl as he stood up. “How close, Ivy?”
“Rowan was family, Cyan, just as Raina is.”
“How close?”
“What do you want to know? If Rowan and I were sleeping together?”
That growl again, and I couldn’t let him think that. For some godforsaken reason, this stranger was starting to matter to me. What the hell was wrong with me?
“No, we weren’t. He was like a brother to me and Jasmine. Why do you think my sister sees fire monsters in her dreams? Rowan burned to death, Cyan. He burned to death, and no one could help him.”
Saying the words aloud brought it all back. The day the knock had come at the door and I’d been told Rowan was gone. Then I’d found out how. Seen the remains of the truck he’d been in. Glimpsed the healing burns on his father, who’d tried to battle the flames to get to him. Then I’d watched my sister fall apart as she’d grappled with losing the man who’d been a mixture of father/brother/puppy love for her.
I didn’t realize I was crying until Cyan had me in his arms again. This time, he picked me up, carrying me out of the kitchen and down the hall toward my bedroom. I wasn’t sure how he knew where it was and didn’t care. It felt so good to be held, as if there was someone to help me carry all the responsibilities on my shoulders. I wanted Cyan, and it scared me. Other than Rowan, I’d pushed away all other men. I’d been safe with Rowan, though. There’d been no desire between us. Cyan was anything but safe. He brought my body alive in ways it never had been.
Cradled against him, touching his flesh, I wanted to make love. I wanted to fuck. I wanted to strip naked and rub against him like a bitch in heat. I wanted him inside me in every way conceivable, and that want terrified me.
I’d sworn a long time ago I’d never share myself with a man, never mate. That vow had only been cemented with the birth of Jasmine. You see, our mother is what’s commonly referred to as a pack whore. She’ll spread her thighs for any man who’s willing. Shifter or not. She’s incapable of love. Jasmine and I are proof of that. Which is why I’d refused to be bedded, why I remained a virgin. My greatest fear was I’d have sex and become my mother. It gave me nightmares.
So when Cyan whispered to me, “Let me love you,” I cried harder even as I whispered back, “yes.”