Chapter Twelve

Paige didn’t care that she couldn’t breathe. She would give up breathing if it meant that Wyatt would continue to kiss her socks off for all of eternity. A part of her brain—the part any sane twenty-four-year-old woman would be able to tap into—told her she wasn’t playing fair. This would not be enough for Wyatt.

She could feel the hardness of him pressing into her thigh and knew he needed more. Even though she’d never had a normal relationship with a man—or any relationship at all—she wasn’t stupid. Besides, if she judged how he had to be feeling compared to the desire building in her own body, she would have to feel remorse for the way she was treating him.

But it felt so damn good to be held like this. Kissed. Not an ounce of pressure to do anything more.

Every inch of her skin crawled with need. She craved the touch of his hands on her breasts. When he’d grazed over the sides with his thumbs, she’d come completely alive in a way a woman should. Her nipples were tight and achy. Her breasts were heavy and full. And the space between her legs was wet and throbbing.

The urge to squirm increased by the second. She needed relief of some unimaginable sort.

Something seeped into her consciousness. A noise. A ringing. A phone.

It broke the spell, jerking her back to the present.

Wyatt released her mouth, still nibbling around her lips for several seconds. “What timing.”

Good or bad timing? She wouldn’t ask.

The ringing stopped, but then it started again.

“You should get that. It might be important.”

“Especially at this hour,” he whispered back, making no move to release her. “I should.” He nibbled a path to her ear instead and kissed the sensitive spot right behind her lobe.

She shuddered, and the moan that escaped her lips startled her.

“Yeah. That’s what I want to hear,” he murmured into her ear.

The phone stopped ringing.

Wyatt sighed against her neck. “Better see who that was.”

He lowered his hands to her waist and lifted her off his lap to set her on the couch. As he stood, he leaned over her to give her one last peck on the lips. “Don’t move.”

She smiled. Where would she go?

He padded across the floor toward the kitchen counter and snagged his cell off the granite while she admired his ass in those damn jeans. “That can’t be good,” he stated as he returned to her with the phone and held it out. “It was Gavin. Better call him back.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s worried.”

Wyatt shook his head. “Don’t think so. I spoke to him while you were in the bath.”

“You did?”

“He called.”

“Oh.” She took the phone from Wyatt and hit send to reconnect with the latest call.

“Wyatt?” Gavin asked after a half a ring.

“It’s Paige. You okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Didn’t mean to bother you, but I thought you should know that crazy reporter was just here. She was persistent too. Pried me for details, wanting to know where you were and where she could find you.”

“Jesus. That woman is crazy.” Paige set her gaze on Wyatt as he lowered back onto the couch next to her. She mouthed, “Kelly. The reporter.” Or maybe she half spoke the words into his head.

Wyatt nodded and toyed with a lock of Paige’s damp hair. The familiar touch was so endearing that she almost forgot she was on the phone.

“Yes. She makes my skin crawl, Paige.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her you left early and I didn’t know where you went.”

Paige smiled. “Thanks. I owe you one.”

“You owe me several, but I’m willing to settle for some details about what’s going on with Wyatt Arthur. You coming home soon?”

“Yeah.”

Gavin didn’t sound convinced when he laughed. “How about I bring you a bag of clothes, and you stay there a bit longer?”

That wasn’t a bad idea. “Would you?”

“Yep. I’ll be there in half an hour.”

“You’re an angel.”

“Just remember that when I’m a distant memory.”

“You know that’ll never happen.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. From what I’ve heard, this binding business among shifters is serious. I don’t get the impression you’re going to get out of it.”

Paige scrunched up her face. “Who told you that?”

There was a pause, and then Gavin rushed to say, “Eh, I can just tell. I’ll be there soon.” He hung up.

Paige lowered the phone. “That was weird.”

“What?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. Just seemed like Gavin knows more about grizzly shifters than he should. But your sister probably filled him in at some point in the last few months.”

“Could be.” Wyatt took the cell from her and tossed it on the coffee table. “You need to go home?”

“No. Gavin’s gonna bring me some clothes.” She sat up straighter, her face paling. “Shit. That was presumptive. I should have asked first. You probably need to get to work.” Her pale cheeks turned pink next.

Wyatt smiled and tucked an errant lock of unruly hair behind her ear. “Paige, stop fretting. I wouldn’t want you anywhere but here. I know it’s hard for you to fully grasp yet, but this is your home. You’re welcome in it all the time whether I’m here or not. I’d like nothing better than for you to stay here.”

She started to speak, though she wasn’t sure how to respond.

He cut her off with a squeeze to her shoulder. “You’re my mate, Paige. Doesn’t matter that we haven’t completed the binding. Doesn’t matter when we do it or how long we take or what anyone else thinks. You’re still mine. Now and later. You have been for months.

“So, yeah. This is your place too. Make yourself at home. Come and go as you please. I’ll give you a key. As for today, I’m not going to work.”

“You’re not?”

“Nope. I’m all yours.”

“That idea both scares the hell out of me and thrills me at the same time.”

“I know.” He grinned his enormous grin that always made her melt. And then he sobered. “I’d like us to spend some time together. Talk.”

“About last night,” she murmured.

“Among other things. I want to get to know you better. I want to earn your complete trust.”

She groaned. “It’s not about trust, Wyatt.”

“In a way it is. In the last twelve hours you’ve let your walls down far enough that I can see over them. You told me your deepest, darkest secrets. That’s huge. Some of that burden is mine now. That’s trust.”

He was right, but could she give him more? She squirmed again, taking cues from her body that told her she could give him more. There was no denying she was his. That had never been in question. She’d known it from the same moment he figured it out. What she didn’t believe was that it would ever be enough.

It wouldn’t be fair to Wyatt for her to string him along thinking she could pull her shit together and have a relationship like a normal person. The thought of making love to him—or anyone for that matter—scared the hell out of her. Every time she let her mind wander in that direction, she got clammy worrying that she would picture her attacker leaning over her, forcing her. She would probably panic and start screaming if Wyatt climbed over her.

And sex wasn’t something she ever considered liking. She couldn’t figure out what all the hype was about. It hurt. Why would anyone do that?

Panic seeped into her, and she knew her face was draining of blood like it always did when she pictured having sex. She’d been unable to stop herself from visualizing sex with Wyatt for the last few months, and every time she ended up sweaty and shaking. He could be a great listener. He could comfort her. But he couldn’t take away that fear. No one could. Couldn’t he see that?

Sure, the kiss had been fine. Amazing. Parts of her had stirred. But it was only a kiss. How far could she go before she had a panic attack?

Wyatt stroked her neck with one finger where his hand rested on her shoulder. “What’s going on in that busy head of yours? Talk to me. I can literally see you pulling back, putting the walls back up.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Wyatt. I’m messed up. I won’t ever be quite right. I can’t have a normal relationship. You deserve better.” She nearly choked on those last words. It hurt. Her throat burned. She didn’t want him to find someone else. She wanted to be his. Be normal. Be like other people. But she wasn’t, and she couldn’t change the past to make it so.

“It doesn’t work like that, Paige. Maybe for some shifters, they can just walk away. Maybe every other person you’ve met has been able to walk away. Maybe you’ve been able to walk away from them too. But not this time. Call it Fate or Nature or whatever you want, but a force greater than us has intervened and decided you’re mine.”

Her heart was racing. Why was he making so much sense?

His voice dipped lower, hoarse with emotion. “I could no more turn my back on this, on you, than I could cut off my own arm. I’m asking you to give us a chance. Take a chance.”

She swallowed. “I’m scared, Wyatt.”

“What are you scared of?”

She stared at him, breathing heavily as if she were running. A tear ran down her face. Damn tears. Damn emotional overload. “I’m scared of never being what you deserve. I’m scared of letting you get closer to me. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to be touched without flinching. I’m afraid the nightmares will never go away, and you’ll be yanked out of your sleep in the middle of the night to my screaming for the rest of your life.”

“Baby…”

She nearly choked and shook her head. She needed to finish. “Wyatt, I don’t think I can have sex with you. I don’t even want to test it. I’ve never wanted to have sex. Not with anyone. It’s burned into my brain as a horrible experience I can’t conceive of repeating.”

He eased his hand up to her neck and squeezed, leaning forward until his forehead touched hers. “I know you don’t understand how I feel, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I ache for you to the pit of my soul. Any piece of you is better than no piece. If you never let me touch you again and I spent the rest of my life simply sharing your space where I could see you, it would be enough. If you never took your clothes off, it would be enough. If you wake up ten times a night for the next eighty years screaming, I’ll be grateful to be the one to comfort you.”

She couldn’t stop the round of tears that ran down her face. He was so damn…nice.

“Now, that being said, I think you’ll get past these hurdles. I think if you take a look inside you, you’ll see that you know I’m right. You know we’re meant to be together. You know as strongly as I do that you can’t imagine your next breath happening without me in your life.”

He was right, but that didn’t make it fair. “You could bind to another. Someone whole. Someone without all this baggage. And you would forget me.”

He shook his head. “You know that isn’t true. Could you do it?”

She didn’t move.

“Could you, Paige? Could you walk out of my house right now and bind to someone else? Could you ever?”

“No.”

“Then don’t act like I could. I could tip my head four inches to one side right now, set my lips on your neck, and bind you to me. It doesn’t require sex.”

She flinched, jerking back at his suggestion.

He separated his face from hers a few inches, but he didn’t release her. “I would never bind you to me without your permission. Don’t freak out. You know me better than that. I’m just saying the world would look differently if we were bound together. I believe you would find the pull to me to be inescapable.”

“I already do,” she whispered, wiping away the tears that had finally stopped.

He gave a small smile. “I intend to convince you that you can’t live without me by the usual means.”

“What are those?” She eyed him suspiciously.

“You know, coffee, bath soaps, kissing. Maybe some breakfast. All the things people do to show someone how much they care. You won’t be able to resist me.”

She smiled, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “You won’t give up.”

“I think I’ve said that.” Another neck squeeze. “Give me a chance?”

She hesitated. Was there another answer? “Okay.”

He blew out a long breath. And then he touched his lips to hers, angling to one side.

As if the universe had it out to get them, a new noise disrupted this second kiss. It sounded like an electric saw or a drill.

Wyatt groaned. “Dale. He’s working on the deck.” He sat straighter, releasing her neck and reaching for her hand.

“Right. Perhaps after I get some clothes, I should go outside and meet him.”

“You should. Now, what about breakfast? If Gavin is joining us, I should get something started. I don’t want him to feel like he has to drop your stuff and run. He’s your friend. I should get to know him.”

She wasn’t sure how she felt about her best friend and the man she was slowly coming to realize was her life partner having a powwow. It was bound to happen sooner or later and would continue to happen presumably for the rest of their lives, but it made her nervous.

“Stop chewing on your lip.” Wyatt plucked her lip from between her teeth even though she hadn’t realized what she’d done. “And stop worrying so hard. I’m not going to pound him into the ground. I’m not an ass. I would never do anything that distressed you. Relax.”

She nodded. Of course he wouldn’t. He was Wyatt. My mate. When would that idea flow through her thoughts naturally?

She heard her car pulling up at the same time Wyatt did. “Uh, what about Dale? How did he get here? I didn’t hear him arrive the other day or today.”

Wyatt pushed off the couch. “He usually comes on paws.” He winked at her.

“Huh. I’ve never gone anywhere in grizzly form.”

“This is Silvertip, babe. People do it when they can. Why drive when you can run through the mountains? Shorter distance and saves on gas.”

She laughed. “Undoubtedly half the reason why your citizens live so long and are so fit. Less pollution. More exercise. I’ll be sure to get that into my report,” she joked.

“That’ll go over well.” Wyatt opened the front door just as Gavin stepped onto the porch.

“Never going to get used to the weird way you people know I’ve arrived before I’m actually somewhere.” He nodded at Wyatt, stepped inside, and came straight for Paige.

“I’ve done it to you all of your life, you know.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t make it less weird. It gives me chills every time.”

“Why do you think I do it?” she teased as she stood and closed the distance between them. She gave her friend a big hug.

“Right. Okay. Well, here’s the thing,” Wyatt said, his voice slightly strained.

Paige released Gavin to meet his gaze. “What?”

“I get that you two are friends and all. I get that you’ve known each other forever, but Paige, I’m gonna need you to put some clothes on while we’re entertaining him or anyone else.” He gritted his teeth.

She rolled her eyes. “Okay. You don’t have to get quite so possessive. Gavin is…well, Gavin.”

He pointed toward the hallway. “Gavin is a man who just wrapped his arms around my woman who is wearing nothing but my T-shirt. Go.”

She rolled her eyes a second time, took the bag from Gavin’s hand, and left the room. “Please don’t discuss me while I’m gone. It makes me uncomfortable,” she shot over her shoulder.

“Wouldn’t think of it,” Gavin responded.

She made her way to Wyatt’s bedroom and heaved the bag onto the edge of the unmade bed. It was heavy, and when she opened it, she saw why. He’d brought her enough clothes to last a week. The thought made her cheeks heat again. “Matchmaker,” she mumbled as she pulled out some tight yoga pants and a comfortable fitted tank with a built-in shelf bra.

She was only thinking of comfort and a day that would surely be spent lounging on the couch hashing out her life’s mistakes. And probably some of Gavin’s. Comfort was the name of the game today.

Pulling her hair up into a ponytail, she padded back down the hallway to find Gavin sitting at the kitchen table and Wyatt facing the stove. The scent of bacon filled the room.

Wyatt would have sensed her approach, and he turned around, but he stopped instantly while she still had her arms raised above her head, fiddling with her hair. His eyes widened.

“What?”

“Seriously?”

“What?” She glanced down at herself, her gaze following his. She was dressed. Everything was covered. What was wrong now?

Wyatt groaned. He set the spatula on the counter and tromped in her direction. As he wrapped his hand around her biceps and turned her around, he spoke over his shoulder. “Watch the bacon for me, would you?”

“Love to.” Gavin’s voice was filled with laughter.

What the hell?

Wyatt didn’t speak again. He marched her down the hall and into the master bedroom. After he shut the door, he released her and headed for his closet.

“What’s the matter?”

He returned holding a sweatshirt that would almost be too large for him and certainly would swallow her whole if she put it on. But that’s exactly what happened because he tugged it over her head without a word. And then, with her arms trapped at her sides instead of through the sleeves, he backed her against the door and set a hand on either side of her face. He looked so serious that she had trouble not laughing.

“Love the tight workout clothes, babe. And you may wear them anytime you want in the house when we’re alone. If you want to stretch or do some yoga or something in the living room, knock yourself out. When no one else is here. But for the love of God, they’re significantly more revealing than my T-shirt, so the improvement was non-existent.”

She was going to laugh. There was no way to avoid it. It was so darn cute that Wyatt was suddenly so possessive of her that he didn’t want her gay friend to see the exposed skin of her ankles and wrists. Maybe she should have been a little miffed, but she’d never experienced anything even close to enjoying having a man look at her with such a smoldering look in his eyes before—like he wanted to devour her.

So, she couldn’t bring herself to be remotely angry. Instead, she was turned on. “You do realize Gavin is gay, right?” she whispered.

“Super clear on that.”

“I don’t think he cares what I’m wearing.”

“Sure he doesn’t.”

“So what’s the real issue?”

“I care. I care that other people can see all your curves. I also care when other people watch me fumbling around with a hard-on while my mate traipses around half naked making me that way.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Breakfast?”

“Breakfast.” He didn’t move though, not for a long time, and before he did, he gently kissed her lips. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Probably.” Maybe he was right. Maybe she could get used to being with him. So far, this banter was kinda fun. Invigorating. New to her, but not in a bad way. And she hadn’t even flipped out when he touched her. Granted, he hadn’t caught her off guard yet. There was a good chance the first time he touched her when she wasn’t expecting it she would jump out of her skin and slap him before she could think better of it.

After pulling her into his embrace for a brief hug, he reached around her and opened the door. She followed him back down the hall, but the way he held her hand made it impossible not to.

Gavin was nowhere in sight. For a second, she thought he’d left. But then she caught him out of the corner of her eye standing on the deck talking to Dale. “I should meet Dale.”

“You should eat first. Dale isn’t going anywhere.”

“I had coffee.”

He didn’t release her hand until they were standing next to the stove. It had been turned off. A pile of bacon was resting on a paper towel next to the burner. She figured Gavin had done that before he went outside in order to avoid whatever was happening in the bedroom.

“How do you like your eggs?”

“A little closer to noon?”

He chuckled. “I’m gonna make you eat them raw if you don’t answer me.”

“Fine. Scrambled or fried is fine. As long as they’re cooked all the way, not runny.”

“See? That was so easy.” He turned the flame back on and cracked several eggs into the pan.

“If you think I’m going to eat more than one of those, you’re crazy.”

“Chill. You aren’t the only person here.”

“Just making sure.”

He glanced at her and then smirked. “Are you always cranky in the morning?”

“Yes.” She started to walk away, or at least head toward the table or the window, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back to his side.

“I like you right here,” he said.

“I feel flustered when I’m so close to you,” she admitted.

“Good.” He grabbed a plate and slid the eggs onto it. “Now you can sit.”

“Are you sure? You want me to grab a belt loop or something to get to the table?”

“Smartass,” he muttered.

Yep. Paige was loving this weird thing they had. It felt right.