Chapter Twelve
Tansy shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other as Ella picked out clothes from a boutique for Tansy to try on.
“Oh, and this blue would bring out your eyes,” Ella said as she added another shirt to the pile.
“Ella, thank you, really. But I honestly don’t need any of this,” Tansy said for probably the fiftieth time in the last two hours.
“Oh nonsense, you need clothes. The shirt you’re wearing is fraying at the bottom and your jeans have holes that don’t look like they were put there by design. At least let me treat you,” Ella replied with the same response she had given Tansy each time Tansy had protested Ella’s generosity.
Tansy blew out a breath, blowing the stray strands of hair out of her face. There simply was no reasoning with the woman. She was more stubborn than a tired ass that had walked too far.
“We need to have you and Caylan over for dinner sometime. The girls would love to meet you, I’m sure…,” Ella prattled on.
“Ella, Caylan and I aren’t together,” Tansy tried to correct the woman.
“Well sure, but we can still have both of you over for dinner, can’t we?”
Man this woman is persistent.
Tansy couldn’t help but admire the woman’s tenacity and positivity. She was kind of growing on her if Tansy was being completely honest with herself. It had been so long since she had had companionship in her life.
“Dinner would be wonderful, Ella, but I’m not planning on staying all that much longer.”
“Why not? Do you have a family somewhere?” Ella asked, sincerity filling her voice.
Tansy’s mind flashed back to her mother for a moment, and she gave Ella a sad smile, “No. The only family I’ve ever had was my mother. She passed away from breast cancer a little ways back. So it’s just me. I’ve been wandering from town to town ever since.”
Ella stopped and turned to Tansy, canting her head in confusion, “Why?”
“She told me to keep moving like the devil was on my heels. Granted, she had said this my entire life, but it wasn’t until she passed that I felt like I should. It felt like since it was her last words that they meant something more. So I stopped trusting people, I packed up what was most important, and put my survival skills to the test. The past couple of days have been the most interaction I’ve had with anyone in a long time. This has also been the longest I’ve spent in one place. Usually I walk until I can’t walk anymore and set up camp where it feels most secure. I rest for a few days and start again. I looped up through Canada and just crossed back over a few months ago.”
“Don’t you get lonely?” Ella asked, pulling a sweater dress from the rack and inspecting it before setting it on Tansy’s growing pile.
“I don’t know. I guess sometimes, yeah. I haven’t given it any thought in a long time,” Tansy shrugged, shaking her head in protest when Ella held up a baby pink blouse.
Ella set the blouse back on the rack, “I get the need to make yourself feel safe, but if you don’t know what you’re running from, why keep running?”
Tansy stood there and stared at Ella as the realization washed over her that Ella was right. If there is no true danger, what was the point in running? Why live a life of solitude when you could be happy?
“If I was your mother, I think I would want to see you happy. Maybe, just maybe, she wanted you to run towards something, instead of away from something. I think she wanted you to be brave enough to withstand anything. Above all though, I think she would want you to be happy. Now why don’t you think about that while you go try on all the clothes we just picked out? That way we can pick out four or five outfits for you out of the thirty I’ve handed you,” Ella winked and pointed her towards the changing room.
An hour later, Tansy had tried on all of the clothes Ella had picked out. They had laughed together so much that Tansy’s abs were on fire and her cheeks hurt from all of the smiling. Tansy had never had a gal pal to go shopping with, so this was a first for her, but it had been fun. Sitting in Trevor’s truck in a snug new pair of jeans and a simple dark blue sweater, Tansy felt like a new woman. She had helped Ella strap the twins into their carseats, and they were headed back to Ella and Trevor’s cabin to meet the rest of Ella’s sisters. In a matter of minutes Tansy was going to be face to face with her half-sisters. She was still trying to process everything and was trying not to get overwhelmed again. So much was happening in such a short amount of time.
Tansy fidgeted in her seat. She had never been one to get nervous about anything, but for some reason, meeting these women had Tansy terrified. What if they didn’t like her? What if she didn’t like them? What if she wasn’t really what everyone thought she was? The panic was building in her chest making it difficult to breathe. Just when she thought she was going to burst she felt Ella’s hand squeeze her knee as they bumped down the dirt road toward the cabin that was all it up inside.
“Don’t you worry about them; they’re going to love you. All of us have walked different paths in life. Hell, Rogue is a recovering klepto. No one in that room is going to judge you for anything. Take a deep breath, because this is about to get excited. I promise you’re going to be just fine. Caylan and Trevor and the other boys should be along for dinner soon enough. We’ll do some steaks and such,” Ella beamed encouragingly at Tansy before shifting the truck into park.
Ella slid out of the truck before Tansy could say anything in response and opened the back door. “Would you mind getting Track out of his seat?”
“Oh, uh… Sure,” Tansy said, hopping out of the pickup and walking over to open the passenger side door.
Peering into the car seat, a glimmer of loneliness crept into her heart. She had always wanted kids when her mother was alive. She had felt like her mother would make the best MeeMaw. The kind that would make cookies or pie when you were feeling sad, or that would get ridiculously excited about any of the firsts a child ever had. Tansy had brushed any desires under the rug when she had died, resolving that any hope for the future had died with her. Deep down, Tansy knew that Ella was right. Her mother had wanted more for her when she passed away, and Tansy was squandering her life away living it on the run.
“Earth to Tansy!” Ella’s voice called through her daze, “Are you coming?”
“Sorry, yeah; I’m right behind you!” Tansy called after her before making quick work of the buckles on the car seat and lifting Track out.
Cuddling the little one close to her, she smiled and made a promise to herself as she walked, “When I find a man that’s worthy of my heart, I will settle down and stay in one place. No more running. I want to find someone that I can give a family to.”
Little Track gave a toothless smile up at her and started babbling as she walked through the door into Ella’s front room. Blinking twice to let her eyes adjust, she handed him off to Ella.
“Everyone, this is Tansy. Tansy, this is everyone,” Ella said, gesturing with her hips to the five other women that filled the room, “Make yourself comfortable, I’m going to go feed these two before they get too cranky.”
Tansy gave a shy wave, “Hi.”
One of the women with long brown hair the color of honey rushed forward and hugged Tansy, “It’s so nice to meet you. Ella texted all of us to let us know she was bringing you with her tonight. Everything she had to say got us all so excited to meet you. My name is Willow.”
“Willow, put the girl down, not everyone is the hugging, touchy feely type,” the tall woman behind Willow said. “Hi, I’m Rogue. Sorry about her, she means well.”
Tansy took in the woman’s build. She was definitely more Tansy’s speed -- tall, athletic. Tansy also pretended not to notice the scar on the back of her wrist. So far, she was Tansy’s favorite.
“I’m Tansy. It’s nice to meet you,” she forced a smile, trying not to look uncomfortable.
A blonde woman who looked a little like a chubbier version of Tansy stepped forward to shake Tansy’s hand with the hand that wasn’t holding her baby, “Hi, I’m Heather. It’s so nice to meet you.”
“Watch out, the dragon lady is getting emotional. Anyone have a tissue?” Rogue teased.
“Rogue, be nice to Heather. She can’t help it if the baby hormones still make her a little emotional,” the short dark haired woman with haunted eyes admonished, “My name is Dahlia. Crew is my husband. He mentioned you might be with Ella and to make you feel welcome.”
“That was thoughtful of him,” Tansy smiled politely.
The last woman had strawberry blonde hair and looked to be about sixteen stepped forward, “My name is Cerise; nice to meet you.”
Tansy nodded at the woman. She could see she was about as uncomfortable as Tansy felt in this room full of strangers.
Willow bustled forward again, “Are you hungry? What am I talking about, of course you’re hungry. You just spent all day with Ella shopping. Let’s get you something to tide you over until the guys get here.”
As Tansy followed Willow out of the room, Dahlia fell into stride next to her, “So how are you feeling? This all can be a little overwhelming.”
Tansy let out a laugh, “A little overwhelming is an understatement.”
Dahlia giggled, “Yeah, you’re right. It’s super overwhelming, but it has its perks too. I, for one, enjoy having sisters. It’s like having a bunch of girlfriends that you can tell everything to, and even if it’s horrible, they still love and support you. Then there’s Crew; he makes me feel like a freaking queen all the time. All of the guys are like that. When you find your mate, I’m sure it will be the same.”
Mate. That sounds… Surprisingly nice.
An image of Caylan flickered through Tansy’s mind before she shook her head to clear her thoughts. She couldn’t have Caylan, she had already been so rotten to him. There was no way he would take her after the nasty bitch she had been to him the past couple of days.
“Alright, while the babies are asleep, let’s enjoy ourselves, shall we?” Ella chirped as she strode into the room with two bottles of wine.
Looking around at the band of what Tansy would call misfits, she smiled. It had been far too long since she had felt this at home anywhere. Here, in a room full of strangers, Tansy felt the last of the barriers around her heart melt away. It was time for a change, and it was going to start here.