Chapter Six
Halgar Sorenson’s mansion might be spacious and decadent, but it somehow felt empty and hollow. Juliette wondered if that was because she knew the owners had died that day, and it felt wrong to be a stranger in their house. Although, despite the grandeur of the place and its dozens of rooms, the nursery was cozy and comfortable. The room dominated with pink and blue and had a cushy play rug on the floor. Matching designer cribs sat side by side, flanked by two changing tables. A cheerful pink and blue sunshine-and-stars mural on one wall was the focal point for the decor.
At the sight of the nursery, Juliette’s heart ached at how similar it was to what she’d always imagined her child’s nursery might look like. And how that dream had died after a series of tests and sad looks in doctors’ and nurses’ eyes.
She scolded herself for her envy.
Carol Sorenson had what Juliette wanted and never would, but she’d also tragically lost her life and would never see her children grow up. There was already too much heartbreak there for Juliette to focus on her own problem.
So she focused on the babies. While they slept, she found their formula and bottles in the kitchen and set up everything to make feeding time easier. She sat in the rocking chair in their nursery and watched them sleep, noticing the differences in them and the similarities. Perhaps they sensed more tension than she expected, because once they settled down, they slept soundly for a few hours. More than once she rose and put a hand gently on their backs to feel them breathing and assure herself they were fine.
Bonnie popped in once and offered to help feed one when the time came. She combed her short, dark hair back with her fingers and shook her head. “I can’t believe under the circumstances Leanne would just abandon them when they need the help most.”
Juliette only nodded. She didn’t want to say something when she wasn’t sure whether the woman was a gossip or not, but she couldn’t help but agree.
When the twins woke, after diaper changes and a dash to get their bottles, Juliette found she didn’t need Bonnie’s help. She lay the babies on the floor, propped up on pillows, and sat between them, facing them, to hold both bottles so they could eat at the same time. They watched her with wide blue eyes while they ate, and she talked to them softly, smiling. She took turns burping them, and lay them back down to hold their little hands and watch their expressions change as she talked. Their tufted tiny cat ears moved in cadence of the tone of her voice and their little tails that peeked beneath their onesies flicked back and forth. Shifter babies were terminally cute. At three months old, Leah and Thomas were still practically infants. Unlike human babies, shifter cubs were born with their eyes closed, pink and fragile, channeling their spirit animals. After a few weeks of nothing but eating and sleeping, they began opening their eyes and grew active. But once they learned to crawl, they were a handful and needed constant supervision. When human babies learned to walk at the end of their first year, shifter babies already ran, sneaked, pounced, stalked, and mostly got into mischief. Their full transformation wasn’t until their third year when they mastered their human or animal form. Some were species took even longer, like bears for instance. Their cubs didn’t master the change until well into adolescence. In today’s society, one wouldn’t see bear cubs out until they could blend in with the public.
Thomas let out a soft chuff of contentment. He started drifting to sleep, but Leah still had fight in her. She was alert and curious and purred. Juliette found an insane urge to shift and groom the babies like any feline mother did. Her maternal instinct went haywire the moment she laid eyes on them.
No, Juliette. They aren’t yours. Don’t let yourself get too attached or you’ll end up hurting yourself along the way.
Juliette sighed. She had fallen in love with both of them.
And when I go back to making candy in my shop tomorrow, these feelings will pass. I will miss them, but these cubs aren’t mine. She told herself that, but something in her didn’t believe it.
A sliver of ache pricked her heart.
She wiped at her eyes and marveled at how differently the day had turned out than she’d expected.
And that’s when she sensed someone behind her.
She turned to find Wilhelm standing in the nursery doorway, a slightly bemused smile on his face.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said. “I would have assumed you’d heard me long ago.”
“You didn’t startle me. I was just . . . distracted.”
“I never knew you were so good with babies. One day you’ll be a great mother.”
She turned away, focusing on the babies again. He couldn’t possibly know how painful it was for her to hear such a thing. “I thought you had business to tend to?”
“I did. The meeting went well, and I found myself unable to get anything else done, so here I am.” He approached and stood next to her, then knelt on one knee, his arms resting on his other. “If you need to leave, I’m sure Bonnie and I will be fine.”
Juliette shook her head. “And let you enjoy the easy part watching them sleep? You weren’t here when Thomas had a diaper mishap.”
“Ugh.” Wilhelm made a face, semi-horrified. “Was it bad?”
“Let’s just say that I narrowly avoided an epic disaster. Thomas is a future troublemaker, so you’d better watch him closely. I’d say you’ve got your work cut out for you.” She looked at him then, and realized that she truly didn’t want to go. Not now. And not just because of the babies. Just for a moment, let me bask in this fantasy, let me pretend that I have a family, a man by my side, and cubs before me. I’m complete and happy.
“I’m not afraid. I love challenges,” he said softly, then with a sigh he reached out and took Leah’s hand, her tiny grip circling his finger. “Juliette, you know what this means?”
“Hmmh?”
“I’ve got to be their father. Imagine me, a single DILF?”
Juliette snorted a laugh. She didn’t know he could joke like that. It was refreshing to see this side of him. So down to earth and humble. He was totally different than the haughty man she knew, a busy exec who ran a multi-million dollar company. “I bet you’ll be popular with the PTA moms.”
“You think? I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I do know that I’ve got this devastating effect on women.”
Juliette’s eyebrow raised an inch. “Are you bragging?”
“Does it sound like it? I’m just trying to woo you. You know, emphasizing my good points since my efforts have failed so far. Does it work?”
“Keep working on it.”
“You make me work harder than I’ve ever had to in my life. But I won’t give up. Don’t underestimate me, Juliette. I always get what I want.”
“Here we go again—that arrogant swagger of yours.”
“Sorry, couldn’t help it. As an alpha, it comes with the territory. You know that.”
Juliette tsked. She couldn’t fault him for that. Nature of the beast.
He glanced at her. “So, I guess I’m finally getting that dinner with you?”
His gentle smile warmed something inside her, a place that had been cold for too long. She’d always been drawn to him, but fought that urge to avoid getting hurt again. Why did it feel like that wall was crumbling a bit now?
You feel sorry for him, that’s all.
Yeah. That’s it.
“I guess. Me and two others.” She turned toward Leah and wiggled her fingers in the air. She teased her with her fingertips. Leah squealed with delight, making her squirm so much that she nearly turned over onto her stomach.
Wilhelm decided to sit next to Juliette. “You know, today was the first time I saw these cubs since they were born. My brother and I weren’t on speaking terms for a long time. I’d just never thought I’d see Leah and Thomas when I have to plan their parents’ funeral.” Though his expression was neutral, his words dripped with sorrow and Juliette almost gave him a hug.
But, she caught herself at the very last second. Whoa. That would be bad. If I’m getting too friendly, he’ll get the wrong idea. You wouldn’t want that, would you, Juliette? She cleared her throat and carefully arranged her tone to sound normal. “I’m sorry to hear that, Wilhelm. I know how it feels to lose people who meant so much to you. Life has a way of not giving a shit about what we want.”
She could feel Wilhelm staring at her.
Finally, he said, “You’re speaking from experience.” It wasn’t a question.
Juliette wished she hadn’t said that. “My family had its fair share of tragedies.”
A warm hand covered hers, and Wilhelm leaned toward her, their shoulders pressing together. “You know what they say: misery loves company.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
“We’ve known each other for quite sometime, but you never told me about your family. Bergefjord is a prestigious clan.”
“I don’t bore my customers with my pathetic life story, Wilhelm. In Bonbon, we’re selling candies and sweet, instant happiness.”
“Really? You just think of me as one of your customers?”
“Well, you’re also my landlord, who is sneakily trying to raise the rent.”
“You’re not going to let that one go, are you?”
“Cause I’m petty, that’s why.”
A snort. “You’re far from being petty.”
“A vindictive bitch?” she offered.
“I would never—” Wilhelm squeezed her hand. “Why do I have the feeling you’re just trying to rile me up?”
“We’re talking about your problems, not mine. Remember?”
Wilhelm sighed deeply. “I wish you’d open up to me, even a little. I’m crazy about you, you know? Ever since the day we met.”
“I’m not blind, Wilhelm.”
He stared at her. “Will I ever have the chance? A place in your heart, Juliette? I know you must like me too, even if it’s only a tiny bit.”
“Sorry,” Juliette shot him down cruelly. “This tigress is done with romance.”
His gaze felt like a laser that slowly burned her face. He grunted that sound like a deep animal growl. “I don’t believe that. No, I refuse to believe it. I think you’re just punishing yourself over something you have no control about. I’ve heard stories about your past, Juliette. Bergefjord alpha is one of my good friends. Being infertile is no reason for you to shut yourself away from the world. There’s plenty of people in your life who care about you.”
Juliette flinched as if his words had slapped her. “It’s not about being unable to bear cubs for Anders Bergefjord. It was betrayal, Wilhelm. He promised me…” Her voice getting smaller, “We would always be together. In richness, in sickness, ‘til death do us part. But he cast me away the second he found out I was barren.” Bitterness laced her voice.
After a long silence, his hand squeezed hers. “I’m sorry, Juliette.”
He didn’t try to tell her that maybe life had other things in store for her, or that there was more to life than having children, or that she should focus on the good things in her life. He simply said he was sorry and let it be, and her heart ached again at how grateful she was for that. When his fingers touched her chin to lift her face, and his thumb brushed away a tear coursing down her cheek, Juliette’s heart did something different than ache, and she wondered if any second she’d wake up in her bed or with her forehead in a puddle of dipping chocolate to discover all this was a terrible, wonderful dream.
Wilhelm leaned toward her, and she anticipated the taste of his lips.
“I have returned, Mr. Sorenson,” a shrill voice said from the doorway.
Juliette leaned toward Wilhelm as he pulled back, then realized what she was doing. The moment was lost.
“I thought you insisted on having the rest of the day off, Leanne.” Wilhelm rose, brushing off his pants.
The nanny strode in like she owned the nursery. She cast a derisive glance at Juliette as she picked up Leah and put her in her crib. “I felt bad about what happened and realized I shouldn’t have gone. I’m sorry if I was difficult earlier. Maybe I was in shock.” She put Thomas in his crib as well.
Juliette felt the loss immediately. She stood and looked down at the twins.
“Yes, of course you were. I understand,” Wilhelm said. He took Juliette’s wrist gently. “We’ll leave you to them for now.” He pulled Juliette with him.
She smiled at the babies before they left the room.
Once she was alone in the hall with Wilhelm standing in front of her, Juliette felt suddenly vulnerable in a way she hadn’t while sitting on the floor with the babies. A feeling of loss. An urge of asserting her dominance and kicking that nanny out of the nursery simmered to the surface. Juliette squelched it down forcefully.
“I hope you’ll still have dinner with just me?” Wilhelm asked.
She wanted to. She wanted to pull him to her for the kiss she’d wanted so badly seconds ago. But the desire was gone and things were changing so quickly that Juliette thought the best thing to do would be to leave and think about things before doing something rash.
“Thank you but now that the nanny’s here . . . I should go.”
“Juliette—”
She put a hand on his chest and could feel the heat of his body and the curves of his muscles through the shirt. Juliette swallowed hard. “Wilhelm, I just need to go. I—I’ll talk to you tomorrow, all right?”
And unlike his usual persistent self, he leaned back and gave her room to walk away, but he took her hand and squeezed it. “All right, Juliette. Thank you so much for your help today. I’ll call down to my driver to take you back to your car.” After a long look into her eyes, he let go and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He didn’t follow Juliette down the stairs, so she looked up and waved at him before she walked into the foyer. As she suspected—as she’d hoped—he was watching her walk away, and waved back.
When Juliette finally made it home, she realized that the sweet smell of the cubs clung heavily to her clothing. Silently, she resented the nanny again. If she hadn’t showed up, Juliette would still be playing with the twins. Perhaps, she could even hold them in her arms all night.
Let it go, Juliette. They aren’t yours.
I know that already, she thought angrily. But why does it hurt to see they are cared for by someone else?
Juliette crawled into bed without changing. She pulled the fabric of her shirt up to her nose. She sniffed deeply, filling her lungs with the scent of the twins. All of a sudden calmness descended upon her. It took her a while to fall asleep.
She dreamed about Leah and Thomas.
And Wilhelm.