I could feel the guys watching me silently, expectantly. I owed them an explanation. When Emmett moved to crouch down in front of me I met his eyes, seeing the questions there. I bit my lip but nodded.
Scooting farther up the bed to make room, I waited for them to settle around me. I started at the beginning and told them everything.
“I felt the… wrongness festering in this place the second I walked in. I can still feel it, like worms trying to burrow under my skin. It’s so hard to block it out. Sometimes I have this brief moment of feeling that I’m not blocking shit, that I’m drowning in the poison and I just don’t know it. The drugs… they make it hard to know what’s real,” I whispered. “Strong things still come through the haze, though. I knew each of you were important to me, that you were safe. I know something is wrong with Brad, the blonde orderly, and I know something bad happened to Sarah. That’s why I had to break into Dr. Ferrer’s office—I needed proof that I wasn’t wrong, that what I’m feeling isn’t because of the medicine.”
I told them that no one seemed to remember Sarah and about my suspicions that Ferrer was somehow to blame for her disappearance. I told them about Red Wristband, about the horrible feelings that seeped out of him and how much he terrified me.
Finally, I told them about the blue pill, about the increasingly severe manic episodes I’d been having, about the ever-present need that not only didn’t go away but seemed to be growing. I told them that I felt like I was slipping, like I was losing the fight to hold onto my sanity.
“Tell us how to help you, Little Flower,” Pierce said quietly.
I darted a startled look up at him. In the soft light of the moon shining through my barred window, he stared back unflinchingly, waiting for my answer. He looked horrified by what I’d said, but there was determination and unwavering support shining in his dark eyes.
A lump formed in my throat and my eyes burned. That he’d even asked meant he believed me. He didn’t dismiss me or call me crazy or laugh. I glanced at Mason and Emmett and saw that same expression of shock, tempered by resolve. They’d believed me when I told them about my ability but, for some reason, I’d still expected them to dismiss my concerns as paranoia. That they didn’t meant more to me that I could express.
“You believe me,” I marveled, a tear spilling over to slip down my cheek.
“Fucking hell, Baby,” Mason swore. He pulled me to him, enveloping me in a tight hug and whispered against my hair, “Yeah, we believe you, but you should have told us all this sooner. We would’ve… I don’t know what we would’ve done, but we could have done something to help you.”
I returned his embrace, wrapping my arms around him. “Just being around you helps.”
I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. Sharing the burden of my suspicions, and the dark feelings that crept through the deep confines of my mind, was like breathing fresh air for the first time. They listened and understood. No judgements. No questions.
Instead, we began to plan.
* * *
At least an hour passed as we went back and forth, throwing out ideas. The guys insisted they needed to stick close to me. They didn’t want me disappearing like Sarah. I suggested asking subtle but pointed questions as a way to ferret out more information. They didn’t like that idea, insisting that would only make Ferrer suspicious, and asking the orderlies wasn’t any safer. What if they were in on whatever was happening and told Ferrer I was being nosy?
We hadn’t come up with anything brilliant by the time I began yawning wide enough to make my jaw pop. My eyelids felt weighted, and I couldn’t fight the sleeping pill anymore.
I opened my mouth to suggest the guys get back to their rooms, but Emmett cut me off. Again.
“Not a fucking chance. We’re staying here with you. Did you miss the part where we said we weren’t leaving you alone anymore?”
“You sure do interrupt a lot,” I muttered, gazing at him a little sourly.
He blinked, then scoffed, “I do not.”
“You do,” I insisted.
“You really do, man,” Mason added.
Pierce just nodded his head, grinning. Emmett grumbled but didn’t argue further.
“Are we going to bed or not?” he deflected.
I laughed quietly, but fell silent after a second and stared at them. “Are you sure you want to risk it? I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“We’re sure, Baby.”
I was scared and wanted them to stay, so I didn’t argue. But, I felt bad for risking trouble over something as childish as not wanting to be alone.
I’m not sure how they managed to fit on the twin sized bed, but they did. I found myself picked up, stripped down to my t-shirt, and arranged like a doll until I was sprawled on top of Emmett with Pierce and Mason squished in on either side. You wouldn’t think laying on top of someone so ripped with hard muscle would be comfortable, but it was. The warmth radiating from all three of them surrounded me, chasing out the bone deep chill I’d had since coming here.
I fell into a dark, dreamless sleep quickly, aided by the drugs and the softly stroking hands of my guys.
* * *
In the following days, the guys stuck to their promise to never leave me alone. There was barely a moment that at least one of them wasn’t with me. They wanted to make sure that no matter what, someone was always by my side, keeping me safe. It both comforted and worried me, though the worried part was complicated.
On one hand, I was afraid they’d get caught sneaking into my room during nap and bedtime. When I reiterated my concerns, I was met with a raised brow from Mason, a stubbornly immovable look from Emmett, and usually a distracting kiss from Pierce. Between the three of them, they shut down any arguments I could come up with on the matter. Even Jason agreed I shouldn’t be alone.
The other reason I worried was that they weren’t the only presence now following me everywhere.
I tried to keep my questions to the orderlies vague and indirect, but with every query, Brad seemed to get closer. He doubled his watchfulness. I felt him, always near, always following, his stare like ants under my skin. Sometimes it was more obvious, with him standing in the corner of the common area during TV time or at the entryway to the cafeteria, staring at me while I ate breakfast. Other times, however, it was far more ominous. A flash of blonde hair disappearing around the corner as I walked with the group to therapy sessions. A blink of piercing, hazel eyes following my movements during exercise therapy.
I began to question whether or not I was even seeing him at all. The guys never seemed to notice him. Maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me. The not knowing set me on edge.
A lot of things seemed to be setting me on edge. Day by day, that weird, too-tight feeling got worse. Sometimes it felt debilitating, like my flesh was shrinking around me, trying to squeeze the life out of me. Sometimes it was just under the surface, scratching at me like the light touch of a fingernail. But it was never gone. I could sense that suffocating state of madness creeping up on me. I knew it would catch me and soon.
The only reprieve I got was when nap or bedtime came around. I was never alone when I closed or opened my eyes. Jason would distract with me with questions about my life outside of here until the early hours when I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. Pierce always slept with a hand splayed in the blonde tresses of my hair, his fingers massaging my scalp. Mason was a spooner and had the tightest grip of them all. I was never able to move when he cuddled me. And Emmett. He always ended the night with a kiss to my nose before we’d shut our eyes. Those moments helped to keep me anchored to this world, kept me from drowning in the building disquiet. At least one pair of arms always held me, keeping the nightmares at bay. For the most part.
And when they crept through, one of them was there to touch me, soothe me, or fuck me until the flashes of blood and pain were swept away under safety and pleasure.
That seemed to be happening more and more. My libido was out of control. I was in a constant state of sharp longing that I needed them to slake. Thankfully, they were always there to take care of me. I could count on them to feed my need whenever it rose up like a dragon, breathing heated life into all the right places. I tried desperately to control myself until nap time only to have it flare back up immediately after and have to suffer until bedtime came around.
Pierce was a machine, his hunger matching my own. He was always starving for me and could go endlessly if I asked. I never did, but I definitely didn’t say no if round two or three came about.
Emmett was occasionally commanding—telling me how to ride him or how deep to take him—but he was still the most tender, always wanting to hold me and just breathe me in after making love to me like it’d be our last time.
But Mason. Mason was almost scarily intense. He pounded into me like he could merge us into one, like he wanted to be a part of me… like he could feel me slipping into the darkness.
It was always fast, hard, and dirty. We could both only ever go once at a time because of how violently delicious we came together. With him I felt like I was being pulled back from the edge, as if he were purging the madness from me with the heavy weight and punishing thrust of his cock.
With every touch, every kiss and thrust they gave me, I felt myself sinking deeper. With every whispered word of reassurance and safety, I felt myself losing another layer around my heart. Every stolen moment of pretend normalcy, where they told me made up tales of their days—Pierce with some story about his restaurant, Mason with life at college, Jason about his upcoming art show at a local gallery, and Emmett trying to convince me he was someone new—I was falling in love with them.
But even with all of that, I couldn’t ignore the sense that something was coming—something I wasn’t prepared for. It chilled me to my bones, and no amount of tender moments or sex driven nights could erase it.