Chapter Forty

 

 

I've heard people say that sex is like a drug; especially for us women who have that lovely chemical oxytocin making us extra clingy to men who bring us to orgasm. I'd never believed it until I stepped foot on Tirne. Now, I had become an addict.

Drostan kept me in a constant state of clingy-woman chemicals and sexual euphoria. We woke every morning and started the day with wild sex. Then we ate breakfast; often upon each other. On to some kingly duties for Drostan while I sat on his lap wearing whatever garish outfit he'd picked out for me that day. He loved teasing his advisers with glimpses of my breasts and often pulled out one of my nipples to suck on it pensively as the other men spoke. Sometimes, after he finished meeting with his men, we'd find a non-sexual activity to engage in, but inevitably, we returned to his chambers—often taking women with us—and fucked until we passed out.

I was losing myself to the hedonism of it all, and I knew it. I could feel the real Riley slipping away; replaced by this wanton woman whose mind was filled with thoughts of how to please her lover and be pleased in return. I had let it consume me because the alternative was allowing myself to wallow in the fact that I would never see the men I truly loved again. That was too painful; pleasure was so much better.

And I wasn't the only one losing myself to it.

“I can't get enough of your pussy,” Drostan groaned as he lifted his head briefly from his feast. “I don't even want other women touching you anymore. This delight should be for me alone.”

Well, this was new. Drostan had a strict rule about no other cocks inside me. He was okay with other men watching us together, but not with them touching me. He'd become more and more possessive recently, and that rule had escalated to; No men touching or watching. Then it was; No men near me at all. And now it had spread to women. Not that I minded; I wasn't into women. I had gone along with them because I had no choice, and most times, I just closed my eyes and pretended that I was with a man. Pleasure is pleasure, as long as I didn't have to give it to them, it wasn't so bad. But this rocketing possessiveness meant more than no women for me. The small part of my brain that was still me was working through the ramifications and coming up with; Drostan cares about me. Somewhere within all of the wild sex, he had developed some real feelings. The question was; Did I feel the same?

I just wasn't sure. How could I be with all of the crazy stimuli I endured?

So, I didn't acknowledge Drostan's feelings or try to bring them to his attention. Drostan falling in love with me would be a good thing. As Hugo had said, it would be security for me, and I had decided that very first night to manipulate Drostan as much as I could. Whether I loved him back didn't matter; I was tied to Drostan like a junkie to her dealer. I couldn't have walked away if I tried. Which meant that his possessiveness did please me.

“Are you sure?” I teased him as I ran my fingers through his hair. “You seem to like watching them with me.”

“I did.” Drostan licked his lips as he climbed up my body. “But now I get this sour feeling in my stomach.” He frowned. “I can't explain it. I just know that I don't like the way I feel when I see you with someone else.”

“I don't like seeing you with other women either,” I whispered.

Drostan froze—searching my face—and then slowly lowered his lips to mine. I kissed him back passionately; working his heart as I tried to keep mine safe. I know it was cruel to foster love without offering any in return, but Drostan had been far more cruel to me. I was using the only weapons I had left; those I was born with. Drostan eased out of our kiss and stared down at me.

“Sweet Goddess,” he whispered. “Is this what it's like?”

“What?”

“Love,” he said the word as if he'd never said it before. “Is this churning mix of anxiety and elation—this irrational fear and sublime happiness—love?”

“I don't know,” I said softly as I stroked his cheek. “But I think I want it to be. Why don't we just follow our bliss—do what makes us happy—and not worry about what it is? It doesn't matter what we call it; we both know there's more between us now than we started with.”

“You're the most fascinating woman I've ever met,” he said with simple honesty. “No guile, no ulterior motives; you just say what you mean and be done with it.”

“It's easier that way; don't you think?” I smiled at him.

“I do,” he murmured as he slipped slowly into me. “And right now, this is my happiness; this is my bliss.” Drostan began a sensual grind. “I can't believe it, but I'm content to simply join with you. No chains, no magic, and no other fairies; just you and I coming together.”

“What a coincidence”—I smirked as I angled my hips up to meet his—“this is my bliss too.”

Drostan smiled brilliantly before he lowered his mouth to my breast. As he sucked eagerly and continued to bring us closer and closer to our orgasms—our drug of choice—I held his head to me and smiled viciously.