Awakened by Magic (The Four Kings Book 1) by Katy Haye (8)

Chapter Eight

The guards might have my horse, but they also had to keep pace with a lumbering wagon. I should be able to catch them up on foot. Perhaps I could take Kicker back from them.

If nothing else, we were both heading in the same direction, towards the citadel. Essa must be somewhere on the path ahead, and perhaps this troop of guards would meet up with their fellows on the way. If I followed them, I should find what I needed, one way or the other.

I hurried on, keeping to the edge of the track, just inside the shelter of the trees in case the guards set a watch. Now and then, I cast a resentful look up at the darkening sky. The crows had gone. Probably I’d imagined their help.

“I said I would help you. I always will.”

Startled, I twisted to see behind me. The forest was as quiet as it ever had been. “I don’t need your help,” I muttered under my breath.

I didn’t expect Vashri to hear me, but his voice rang out again. “We need you. Come to the Silent Castle and we can stand against the Emperor together.”

“I need to find Essa first.” I kept walking. On foot I was slower than I had been. I had to keep going as long as I could. My fists clenched. I had to catch up with Essa before the Emperor got his hands on her. I had to. “I can manage on my own,” I snapped, in case Vashri was still eavesdropping.

“You will be in grave danger if you seek out the Emperor on your own. You must come to us first.” His tone was sombre.

“I can’t. Any delay and she could be dead.” At the thought, my steps sped up. I shook my head. Why was I even wasting time having a conversation with a voice in my head? I folded my arms as though the gesture would drive out the king’s voice, and hurried onwards, stumbling into a ditch in my distracted state. Water splashed up my legs and I cursed.

“I am with you.” His voice was soft. His deep brown eyes flashed in my memory. “Whether you want me or not, I will stay with you. You are the guardian. We are bound together.”

I shook out my damp boot and scrambled up the far side. “Yeah, well, don’t get too attached. According to you I’ll soon be dead because there’s no way I’ll be able to find my sister before she reaches the Emperor’s palace, and if I go after her you reckon he’ll kill me.”

“You mustn’t let that happen.”

“Believe me, it’s not my intention.”

“You would be safer with us. Together, we are stronger. Together, we will become invincible.”

I shook my head. Once all the kings awakened, and found someone who could be their guardian, and got their act together, and fought the Emperor... Essa could be dead a dozen times over before that happened. My mother had counted on the four kings and look where that had got her.

His voice softened. “Why will you not let us help?”

I sorted through possible responses in my head: Because I don’t trust you; Because I don’t dare to take the time to reach you first; Because I don’t believe you’re real and not a wishful mirage; Because I couldn’t bear to be disappointed again. “Because I’m not your guardian,” I said eventually. “You’re wasting time with me when you could be finding the right person.”

“You are the right person.”

“I’m really not.”

“Magic showed you to me. Magic is never wrong.”

“It is this time.”

Silence fell inside my head. Loneliness swept through me, cold and empty. “Go and find a proper guardian. I don’t need you,” I muttered, in case I got any stupid ideas about agreeing with Vashri and getting delusions of grandeur. Essa and I had been just fine while it had been the two of us. It was other people who were the problem.

An ache stretched the base of my throat as I remembered Damos’s lined face. He’d offered Kicker to me without a second thought. And in return, I’d lied to him and got his horse stolen by the Emperor’s guards. I wondered how long he would wait before deciding he had been duped.

My heart clenched so hard I missed a breath. I was sorry I had lied, and sorry for his loss. The goddess knew, I hadn’t meant to lose Kicker. But I would do what I had to do in order to keep Essa safe. No one else mattered.

A sob rose unexpectedly in my throat. You’re just like your father. I wasn’t. He’d sacrificed us for his own sake. I would do anything to get Essa back, but that included sacrificing myself. I’d give everything to get her back, even if it meant my life.

I sucked in a breath that felt like another sob. I would sacrifice myself if I had to. But I hoped there would be another way. Hoping we could both survive and evade the Emperor, that wasn’t cowardice. Was it? I wasn’t my father. I couldn’t be him.

I pushed my doubts away and focused on the track. The darkness was truly gathering now. I hoped the stories of boggarts and evil spirits were just that: stories. But even without them I might come across a wolf, or a wild cat. I thought longingly of my slingshot, tucked in my pack on Kicker’s saddle and lost now. I had nothing to defend myself with, and that wasn’t a comforting thought.

I could barely make out the path, even though it was mere steps away. I shifted my course and stepped onto the track itself, so the half-moon’s light would stop me tripping on a root or falling into a hole. With darkness to shield me, I hoped I was safe enough from human enemies to take the better marked route.

An owl called overhead, and I looked up to see the dark shape drifting across the midnight blue sky. I remembered the owls I’d conjured for Essa all those years ago, our sentries to watch while we slept. I tried one more time to reach the magic inside me. There was nothing there, no magic to respond to my call. There was magic inside me, just as there was magic in everything. But there was no more in me than in a flower, or a rock.

You’re just like your father. And I’d worked so hard over the past eight years to make sure that could never be true that I’d thrown away the abilities I needed now. My vision grew blurry and I swiped impatiently at the brimming tears. Magic was no use to me. I needed to catch Essa up, and then I’d figure out how to rescue her. Not everything needed magic. I had other talents that would help me get her back. Without the help of Charnrosa’s mythical kings.

As night drew on, I stumbled over rocks in the path that I couldn’t see, fatigue making me clumsy.

“You need to sleep.”

So, the king hadn’t gone entirely. He was still able to return with his unwelcome advice.

“I can’t sleep while Essa needs me.”

“You will be no use to her exhausted. I will watch over you.”

I paused. I was tempted to ask whether he’d come into my dreams again. The thought of those strong arms around me while I slept, my head resting on that muscled chest… I jerked upright. “I don’t need—”

A sound cut me off. An owl hooted softly. Tracking the sound, I saw the creature perched on the branch of a beech tree just off the track. A sentry, awaiting night duty. Exhaustion dragged at me. I didn’t want Vashri’s advice, but he was right that I’d be useless to rescue Essa if I didn’t rest.

An hour, maybe two, just until the short summer night gave way to dawn. I could spare that much. My feet turned off the path and the dried leaves beneath the beech’s spreading branches crunched beneath my boots. There was a hollow amongst the roots, lined with dried leaves, as though the tree itself were making me welcome. I curled into it and cast a final glance around, checking for danger – or any trace of Essa – before I closed my eyes.

“I’ll watch over you. You’ll be safe.”

I was far from that, but there was something so seductive about the words that, almost without deliberate intent, my eyes closed, and I slipped into dreams.