Titus and I emerged from our room well past dawn. Based on the busyness of the streets out the window, and the noise and smell wafting up from the tavern below, we were some of the last in Juniper to rise from slumber.

I checked myself in the mirror before following Titus out the door.

I had to admit, I didn’t look like anyone’s prisoner. In fact, I looked downright sensual.

My lips were slightly swollen from his kiss, my cheeks still pink from sleep and remembered pleasure, and my eyes sparkled despite the horrible nightmare I’d had.

I reached a hand to my hair and fluffed it lightly. The twisted bun had dried overnight, and was now a tumbling mane of thick blonde curls that fell halfway down my back. When I had woken, it was to find Titus running his fingers through it and breathing it in, claiming the smell of lavender was his favorite. As I went to tie it up, he’d implored me to leave it down, so I did.

A knot of anxiousness tugged at my belly as I prepared to see the others, because I was fairly sure there would be no disguising what had happened between us. Still, there was nothing to be done about it now. And there was no point in denying that I had very real feelings developing for more than one man. If they all had feelings for me as well, then surely we could put our heads together and figure out a way to make this work? Surely, we could figure a way out of this mess?

I would give it another day or two. Make certain that I wasn’t falling victim to some cruel ploy to gain my trust by my enemies, and then?

I would talk to them openly and honestly. Tell them about the note I’d sent to my sister, and together, we could figure a way to ensure all of our safety and the safety of our families.

Feeling optimistic for the first time since I’d been kidnapped, I clipped my red cloak under my throat and stepped into my black fur boots.

“You look like a true princess now, lass,” Titus said with an approving grin as he waited for me at the door.

I gave my reflection one last glance. He was right. Now that I was clean and dressed, the emerald green tunic and bright red of the fur-lined cloak leant a sort of elegance to my appearance. But it was more than that. A confidence in the way I held my chin, and the secret smile that curved my lips. I felt strong and confident, neck free of chains, new dagger pressed against my hip.

I followed Titus out the door and down the winding wooden staircase to the tavern below. The wood creaked beneath Titus’s weight, practically announcing our arrival to everyone below, and all eyes swung up to greet us.

I tried my best to ignore the stares of the men of Juniper, as Titus took my hand and guided me around the tables until we arrived at the same one we had all shared the previous evening.

The others were all there.

Eryk’s gaze trailed over my face and I swallowed hard. Would he be jealous? Angry?

I locked eyes with him and swallowed a sigh of relief as he tipped his head in an almost imperceptible nod, as a familiar heat arced between us. He didn’t look angry at all. He looked…accepting. And as if what he saw in my face hadn’t changed a thing between us.

Something unfurled inside me and I lowered myself to my seat.

“Good morning,” Dimitri said, a knowing grin kicking up one corner of his mouth. “Looks like you guys had some good rest, then. Unlike me, who had to listen to this guy snore all night.”

He jerked a thumb at Mathias before digging back into his food with gusto.

I could feel Mathias’s gaze on me and I shot him a smile of greeting. His jaw flexed, but just when I was starting to worry that he was angry with me, he picked up his cup and held it high.

“Good morning, Princess. A toast to your loveliness this morning.”

The other men held up their mugs full of steaming coffee and tapped them together before drinking.

A flush spread up my neck as I reached for my fork and peered down at the food in front of me. Just as I was about to dig in, my stomach growled noisily and Dimitri let out a low, rumbling chuckle.

“Better get some food in you. It would seem you worked up an appetite.”

Horrified, I averted my gaze to my plate and reached for my coffee.

It would be best to clear the air now. Anaya had taught me that communication and honesty was always the best approach, even if it was the most difficult. I couldn’t be honest about everything, but I could be honest about this.

About us.

“As you all have guessed, I think, Titus and I were…together last night,” I started, “and I have been with Eryk also.”

Titus slid an arm around my shoulders while Eryk leaned back in his chair. I afforded a quick glance at him to confirm my initial impression, and found him smiling back at me. At least, I thought it was a smile. His expressions were always so subtle that I had a hard time reading the ever so slight curve of those beautiful lips.

“I have grown to care for all of you,” I continued, “and I must confess that this is incredibly confusing for me. But I don’t want there to be more secrets among us and I also don’t want to cause any tension amongst the four of you.”

Titus put his hand on my knee. “Lass, you need not worry of such things. We all hail from much less…civilized places than Ironhaven,” he said, looking around the table for assistance.

It was Dimitri who spoke. “We’re not bound by the confines of monogamous love.”

“Yes, what he said,” Titus nodded towards Dimitri, “the poet, it would seem.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. Now that it was out in the open, I had no idea what else to say so I forked up some of my steak and kidney pie as an awkward tension ensued.

Luckily, Mathias piped up. “I went down to the docks this morning while some of you were sleeping, and the ship is fixed. We can set sail at any time. We’ve paid the docking fee up until high noon. If anyone needs to do anything in town before we depart, you have two hours.”

He was still looking at me.

“I don’t need anything,” I said, gesturing to my new clothes.

“Then shall we get a head start?” Dimitri suggested.

I hung my head to look at the eggs and bacon on my plate. “You all don’t have to do this, you know,” I whispered, breaking my vow to give it time. To wait until I was certain they would help me…

Titus still had his arm around my shoulder. The others, who had been eating as Dimitri spoke, put down their utensils to look at me.

I had to try to change their minds.

“Anaya can help your families. I know she can, and I know she will. Her protectors--the Saint John brothers,” I clarified, suspecting they wouldn’t know who I was talking about, “can help you, too. I’ve seen what they can do. Whoever the scoundrel is that hired you cannot be permitted to use you like this. If he’s willing to do these things to you and to your families, what do you think he will do to me and mine? Please. Let me and my sister try-”

“No,” Dimitri cut me off.

I looked up at him. His jaw was tight and it looked like it was taking every ounce of self-control he possessed not to snap in two.

“I won’t put my brother at risk. I can’t.”

“It’s too late,” I said firmly. Dimitri narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything. I turned to Titus. “Please. Let’s turn the ship back to Ironhaven, and when we come back, it will be with a dozen ships. None of you want to do this, you’ve told me so yourselves. Anaya is wise. She won’t do anything that could result in the harm of innocents. She is a fair and just ruler.”

“It’s more complicated than that,” Titus said with a frown.

“No, it’s not,” I said, my voice becoming a plea. “Who is this man who cannot be thwarted, despite the power of a Queen and her army behind her?”

“Iris,” Mathias said flatly, “that’s enough.”

“You don’t control my voice,” I hissed, anger rising to the surface now. “I might be your prisoner but I am not your slave.”

The silence that hung around us was heavy. Titus let his hand fall from my knee. Suddenly, I felt very alone again.

No one spoke for a time. I had lost my appetite and pushed my plate away. Eryk’s green eyes flicked from me to my plate and then back again.

“Iris,” he said calmly, “please eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” I said stiffly.

“You’re behaving like a child,” Mathias said.

“Am I?” I asked, leaning forward. I clutched the edges of the table so hard my knuckles turned white. “Or am I the only one here who has any balls? The four of you…” I trailed off and shook my head. “Forget it.”

I stood up. My chair squealed on the wood floors. “We’re done here, are we not? Shall we sail toward our collective enemy, then?”

 

The walk back to the ship was more than tense. Mathias strode with his hand around my upper arm to prevent me from trying to get away. I had heard him muttering to Eryk that perhaps removing my iron collar was a bad move. That they should sleep with one eye open. Eryk had stood by his decision, but I was still furious.

As soon as our feet hit the deck, I wrenched my arm out of Mathias’s grasp and stomped down the stairs to my cabin. I slammed the door as hard as I could so that the others could hear me top deck.

My room had been restored to what it was before the pirates boarded. The water was gone and it smelled pleasant again. Candles and lanterns were still scattered on every surface.

Still thrumming with anger and cursing myself for bringing it up so soon, I put away my new clothes from Dimitri, but stayed wrapped in my cloak, lighting the lanterns.

A moment later, there was a soft scratching at the door. I went to it and let Hildie in. She trotted inside, shaggy gray fur grazing my leg as she passed.

“Hey, girl,” I said, dropping to a crouch beside her. I scratched her behind the ears and she licked my hand appreciatively. “You live on a ship of fools, you know that? Of course you do. You’re a smart girl.”

Hildie nudged me with her nose and I smiled. At least there was one soul on this boat that didn’t make me want to rip my hair out.

Or make me want to lie on my back and let them take me.

I shoved the thought away with a groan.

These men were going to be the death of me, both literally and figuratively. I knew how much I cared for them was real. I couldn’t deny it. But they were still willing to turn me over to the enemy after everything we had been through together.

For more than an hour, I laid in my bed, stewing, until a knock sounded at the door.

“What?” I called, still too upset to be nice.

The door opened a crack, and a dark head of hair appeared before bright blue eyes fell on me. Dimitri gave me a crooked smile and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

“Hey, Princess,” he said, sounding more like the sarcastic and cocky version of himself that I was used to.

“Hey,” I said flatly.

“Still upset with me?”

“Yes,” I said.

He moved away from the door to come stand at the foot of the bed. I crossed my arms and stared coolly back at him as he rested one shoulder against the pillar of the bed frame. He gave me one of his dashing devil may care smiles and scratched the back of his neck. “This isn’t easy for me,” he started, “but I came to apologize.”

“For what?” I challenged. “Kidnapping me, lying to me, or refusing to help me and yourself?”

His smile faltered.

“I’m waiting,” I said.

Dimitri sighed and sat down on the bed. His normally proud shoulders were slumped and I resisted the overpowering urge to comfort him.

What the hell was the matter with me?  

“I’m sorry for all of it.” He looked up at me then, and the sadness in his blue eyes pierced my heart. “But my brother is the only family I have left.” Dimitri’s voice hardened. “I made a promise to my dying mother that I wouldn’t let anything happen to him. If I break that promise, regardless of how much I…care for you, then what sort of man am I? Certainly not a man a woman like you could ever love.”

I blinked, recognizing the truth in his words.

He raked his fingers through his hair and I waited, fingers playing with the hem of my tunic until he had found his words.

“You want honesty? All right, then. Honestly, I’ve loved you since the day at the stream, Iris. Hell, I may have loved you the second I saw you firm that stubborn chin and line up the bow to fire your arrow. And every day has grown more difficult for me. There is nothing I want more than to escape with you. But Dominic needs me, and I won’t abandon him. He has no one else.”

“He would have us all,” I pleaded. “The others…me, and my sister, and her army.”

“You don’t know that. And the four of us were assured that no harm would come to you. My brother’s life isn’t worth risking over money. If your sister just pays the ransom, we can-”

“No,” I shot back. “We can’t.”

How could I get them to see that they were being played for fools? My value was almost unparalleled…endless. Why would a man just give that up after his first cask of gold? I’d never be released.

“Can you trust us, Iris? Just a little, as we’ve chosen to trust you? The others and I won’t let you be hurt. Let us do the job we’d agreed to and get our families somewhere safe. If you aren’t released, we won’t forsake you. Surely, you know that by now?”

I didn’t know what I knew anymore. I just felt exhausted and afraid.

“I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for any of this,” Dimitri said as he stood and made for the door. “I’ll leave you alone now. I need to go.”

“Why?” I asked, wanting to call the word back as soon as it was uttered.

How could I still want him, knowing he would be the instrument of my demise?

But I didn’t retract it, and he paused with his hand reaching for the door handle.

I saw his jaw muscles working again as he faced me. His eyes were downcast and glazed over.

“Because if I stay, I would have you. And if I have you…allowed myself to feel more than I already do? My brother’s life may very well have been forfeit.”

He turned the handle and pushed the door open.

“Dimitri?” I called once more.

He paused again, but this time, he didn’t look back at me.

I swallowed. My heart was pounding. My mouth was dry and my fingertips tingled. “I…I love you, too.”

There was no mistaking that his brave façade had crumbled. He nodded slowly, his shoulders slumping in grim acceptance and sadness.

Then, he stiffened, stepped into the hall, and closed the door behind him, leaving me hanging on the edge with my own words ringing in my ears.

I had never told someone I loved them before, except my sister. And despite his choices, I knew he felt the same.

It felt good. It felt right.

And just like him, I was terrified.