Abigail walked into the bar later than she thought she would. It was past dinnertime and people were already starting to fill the place, off work and ready to relax. It was quieter than it had been over the winter, but Rocker’s had this energy to it that none of the other bars in town did, which brought in the rowdier locals.

She looked over the bar and chuckled. They had the new motto up over it now: howl at the moon. The locals didn’t know wolves ran their favorite bar, but it was a quiet homage to the Pack. It had been her idea and worked for a rock bar like this one at the same time as it gave her wolves something of their own, a real claim on the place.

“Looking over your handiwork?” Thomas asked from the behind the bar.

“I am,” Abigail laughed. “You didn’t have to use it.”

“It would have been up sooner, but custom signage like that takes time,” Thomas chuckled. “What can I get you?”

“Playing bartender today, I see,” Abigail ran a hand over the bar. Thomas gave her a small smile and waited. “Going to get me drunk and talk all about my problems?”

“I like getting you tipsy and talking about nothing at all much more,” Thomas teased.

“Just a water would be nice for now,” Abigail answered finally, smiling back at him. “Why are you behind the bar?”

“I need to do something, anything,” Thomas sighed. “Get away from the paperwork. Plus, I don’t take any of the tips, so Johnny has no problem with it.”

“Where’s James and Antonio?” She tilted her head and looked around as Thomas slid the water towards her. She picked it up and sipped on it as she searched for her other wolves.

“They’re getting ready to go up and perform,” Thomas informed her. She raised her eyebrows at him, her heart going faster.

“James is going to play?”

“Antonio will be singing as well,” Thomas finished, nodding.

She looked back to the stage, two stools on it, ready for James and Antonio. This was going to be a great day, then. She loved listening to them. It reminded her of campfires and dancing with Thomas and dark, starry nights. They didn’t play often, and she wanted them to play more. Having them play here? In public like this?

This was a dream of hers for them. Something that had nothing to do with hunters or their lost friends. They never talked about it, but she saw it in their eyes sometimes. The very few nights one would wake up shaking, panting in fear, sweating with eyes full of nightmares. The way they would all cuddle to get back to sleep. Twice for Antonio. Once for Thomas. Four times for James.

“How was Finn today?”

Abigail jumped and looked behind her again. Thomas was no longer behind the bar. He was sitting down on a barstool next to her and guiding her to sit down as well. She sighed and shook her head. “Angry,” she groaned. “He was mad we dragged him out. Gabe and Troy ended up with us on the run as well, to keep an eye on Riley. She, in turn, decided that Finn was beautiful, grabbed her camera and now he’ll be a member of the gallery opening. Rather, a subject.”

“Riley can’t stop herself from painting,” Thomas chuckled then sobered. “Finn…angry is better than depressed?”

“It can be,” Abigail agreed softly. “It’s something. Anger can drive someone to be productive. It’s also a natural stage of grief. He’s moving forward, slowly. He’ll backslide a few times, but I think forcing him to interact with the world is a good way to move him forward a little. He can’t keep hiding.”

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t,” Thomas told her, leaning her into him. “Abigail…I have some news that might change things.”

“Let’s hear it,” Abigail sighed. She didn’t like the sound of that at all.

“Chris is back in town,” Thomas whispered. “I don’t know why. He says he just wants a break from shit but…” Thomas trailed off, and she heard the implication. He didn’t trust him.

“Well.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “That’s not what I was expecting.”

Chris Marek was in town? She wondered how this was going to mess with everything. Their peaceful paradise was already drawing to a close with Brenton’s decision, and now Chris? The world was creeping in and reminding her every second that there were other things to deal with.

“James found him at the house. I put him up in a hotel. Not the same one as you. I don’t want you and him mixing. I hope you understand,” Thomas said, running his fingers through the ends of her hair.

“I do.” Abigail understood well enough. This was his family and while she was technically a Pack member, she wasn’t family. There was a boundary there. She was temporary, and it was what she wanted. She said she would try. Privately. Thomas was just trying to maintain that distance, of course.

She ignored the pain that came from the thought.

“He knows of you, but not really much of anything,” Thomas continued. “He could smell you in the house. I didn’t give him any more information about our…thing.”

“It’s your decision,” she mumbled, nodding slowly. She didn’t look at him. She could smell the concern and worry coming off him. She could hear his heart racing and ignored it. “I mean…I’m looking at a job hunt soon. I’ll be gone by summer. You don’t need to get Chris all worked up over me or vice versa.”

“Abigail…” Thomas growled softly. “We’ll always be Pack.”

“You and Chris? Of course. He’s your brother,” Abigail laughed weakly. She didn’t need Thomas to remind her of that.

“No,” he bit out. “Me and you. You, James, and Antonio. We’ll always be Pack. Just because you’re going to leave doesn’t mean that changes.”

It would change everything. Abigail knew it. She would leave, and they would meet someone else, maybe even each get a woman of their own. She would go career chasing and when she returned, everything would be different.

She was just putting off the inevitable - and she would keep putting it off. She liked what she had in the moment. His words felt good, though. Like this was more than a temporary fling for them.

“I’m sorry,” Thomas groaned. “This is a complicated conversation to have in the middle of the bar.”

“We’ll talk about it when it’s quieter,” Abigail agreed softly. She felt the need to clarify something, though, before they dropped it. “Thomas, I don’t want to intrude on your personal life. What’s going on with you, the guys, and Chris…if you don’t want me to be a part of it, I won’t be. We’re not even in a real relationship.”

“Real…” Thomas closed his mouth suddenly and then looked away. When he looked back, he was frustrated and hurt. Abigail didn’t understand what she’d said wrong. “What’s not real about this?”

“I mean,” Abigail groaned, shaking her head. “We’re not dating. We’re hanging out.” She dropped her voice, to keep their privacy. “We’re sleeping together. We’re friends, certainly. But it’s not like you’re my boyfriend, Thomas. Or James or Antonio. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Ah,” Thomas nodded once and stood up. “I understand now.”

“Thomas,” Abigail sighed.

“I’m not mad, Abigail. You’re right. We never really made any decisions like that.” Thomas swooped down and kissed her cheek before walking away. She watched him go to the back, confused and hurting. She’d only stated the truth.

Why did it hurt so bad?

She sipped on her water for what felt like a long time, finally ordering a Cosmo from Johnny when the water wasn’t cutting it. Forty years old and she still didn’t know her way around relationships. Lying was bad, but telling the truth hurt. She figured she was just never going to work out these things.

She just finished her drink and ordered another one, sitting at the bar alone. She pulled out her phone and texted Riley, finally deciding to lean on another girl for this.

Abigail: I think I messed it all up.

Riley: Let’s hear it.

Abigail: I told Thomas that we weren’t a real relationship. We’re not exactly going on dates or anything, ya know? We just have sex and hang out. He’s dealing with Chris coming back into town and I wanted him to know it was okay that I wasn’t involved or a part of his family issues since we’re not beholden to each other.

Riley: Oh, for fuck’s sake, Abigail.

Abigail: What did I do? I’m not their girlfriend, Riley.

Riley: That doesn’t make it not real. I spent over six months with my guys before we ever decided to put a name to it. Being undefined doesn’t make it less real.

Abigail read that nearly a dozen times, realizing Riley was so right. She was completely right. How did this young cheetah, not even twenty-five, have this so easily figured out?

Riley: Here’s something to think about. Would you be okay with them meeting other women right now? Or would they be okay with you meeting other guys?

Abigail: No…

Riley: Then it’s fucking real. Get your damn head outta your ass. You might not have words to it, Abigail, but it’s committed, whether you meant for it to be that way or not.

Abigail: I’m about to go job hunting. I could be leaving soon. My job takes me everywhere.

Riley: Long distance is a thing, dummy. Or you can use Wild Junction as home when you aren’t traveling, instead of that LA condo of yours. You know, the one you haven’t been to in months and ignore now since we both know you don’t want to go back to the smog of LA.

Abigail: I sometimes hate how much you notice.

Riley: I’m pretty good at it. The boys hate it, too. I tend to notice whenever they are feeling down and shit.

Abigail: What do I do?

Riley: Put a name on it, Abigail. I think it’s time you put a name to this. You don’t need to tell me anymore. You don’t need to make it public. I just think you and those wolves need to put a name on it for you. You’re the therapist here. Figure it out.

Abigail laughed, taking a sip of her drink. Everyone said that. She shouldn’t have problems because she was a doctor for these types of things. She actually wasn’t, though. She had never been good at this sort of issue for her patients. She would always refer them to a different specialist. Her specialty wasn’t the heart.

Abigail: Ha. Ha. It’s easier with patients, ya know? I’m not a part of the situation. And I do trauma counseling mostly, along with mental illness in association, not…couple’s therapy. Poly therapy? Relationship counseling? One of those.

Riley: Cute. Look, I’m here for you, whatever you decide. My advice is: If you want to keep this, you need to realize it’s real and not just some extended one-night stand with a fuck-buddy…or three. (I won’t judge, I have five). If you don’t, you need to make that clear to them or they might expect more from you than you’re willing to give.

Abigail: Thanks. That makes this seem much easier. Seriously.

Riley: I know there’s a lot going on for you, but those things…they are just things. The wolves? They aren’t just things and you need to remember that. They need a higher priority from you than the things.

Abigail: You make a good best friend, you know that?

Riley: Damn right, I do. Plus, I’ve done what you’ve done already. At least you aren’t freaking out that there’s more than one of them.

Abigail: I’ve never really thought of them as anything other than the unit. They are all different and unique but they…seemed packaged. Like one for all and all for one. Plus, seeing you and your guys? That makes it easier. I’m not alone in having multiple men to deal with. Seems like less of a social issue here. How did you get started?

Riley: I started with mine really casually, too. It seemed like a really awesome idea. Multiple guys to sleep with and they wanted to sleep with me? Sign me the fuck up. The town? Most ignore it. They know we’re a little different and that’s fine.

Abigail: There it is. Proof that you are still in your twenties. I was waiting for it.

Riley: Go kiss your wolves and be quiet.

Abigail: Alright! You, too.

Riley: I do more than kiss my guys. ; )

Abigail dropped her phone on the bar, giggling. Damn that girl for being so good. She wasn’t going to question how Riley had this all figured out. She’d been with her five guys for over a year and had it all pretty straightened out. Abigail never heard of drama on their front. She knew Riley was in charge of the relationship in the mansion while Brenton ran the Pride. Both were willing to put a foot up an ass if someone did anything wrong, though Abigail hadn’t seen it happen before. She knew Riley had threatened to leave the Pride a couple of times, though.

She could hopefully trust Riley on this. Abigail knew Riley was right. It was time to make this defined, not just a thing. Abigail had screwed up by invalidating what was going on by saying it wasn’t real. She should have known better.

She didn’t want to make it casual. She didn’t want the future to change everything, even though it would. She didn’t really want anything to change at all, even though it already had in just a few days. Abigail took a deep breath, knowing her decision was made. She just hoped she hadn’t already ruined her chance to say it to them. She wouldn’t go chasing after Thomas in the back, whatever he was doing back there, but tonight, she would talk to them.