Just as I was reading all about Moru, a sharp alarm bell sounded, making all the spectators jump.

"Can you lean back, please," said the lazy voice of a keeper, whose job appeared to consist solely of telling people to lean back.

As I watched, I saw an embarrassed-looking child of ten or thereabouts - I'm not great at gauging the ages of children - step back from where he'd been leaning over the low fence to get a better look at one of those really bumpy tortoises that look as if they're covered with a bunch of mini pyramids.

“That’s going to be a problem.” Alexei pointed to a bright red sign - one of several identical signs posted at intervals all around the enclosure.

Do NOT lean forward. Enclosure protected by infra-red technology.

A series of sensors ran around the enclosure so that, while the tiny fence was no barrier, anyone entering would set off the alarm, alerting the bored-looking keeper. In the case of a curious child, a simple warning would be enough, but presumably the keeper had a direct line to security in case someone hopped the fence and tried to liberate New York's oldest living resident. That also meant that someone who just wanted to, for instance, lay hands on that resident would find it likewise difficult.

"You could chance it," suggested Nico. "I mean, they'd throw you out of the zoo but I think we'd be really unlucky for another of the tasks to require a visit here."

"And what if they have her arrested?" asked Alexei, the voice of logic. "I imagine the zoo has a zero-tolerance policy towards people jumping into enclosures, otherwise they'd have fraternity pledges doing it every damn year."

I nodded. I couldn't afford to be arrested. True, the penalty for hopping into a tortoise pen was likely to be a slap on the wrist, but my police record made for informative reading. I could easily end up with a custodial sentence and I couldn't afford that while I was trying to save mankind. Again, I couldn't help feeling that this would be so much easier if I could tell people what I was doing and why I was doing it. Not that most of them would believe me anyway, but a girl could get lucky.

"How's she going to get in, then?" asked Nico.

"She," I stressed the word, as I disliked the men talking about me as if I wasn’t there, "has gotten into more heavily guarded places than this and will figure it out if you guys stop chattering."

I looked across the tortoise enclosure to where the keeper stood. I had to imagine when a person became a zookeeper, it was because they loved animals. It was very much a vocational career choice and those who made that choice did not do so for money, but because they wanted to cradle a baby lion in their arms, to run alongside the ostriches and throw fish to barking sea lions. They certainly did not take the job so they could repeat the same five-word phrase fifty times a day to people who were too dumb to read the many warning notices that were right in front of them. This particular keeper had all the signs of being someone who would rather be anywhere but here. I wondered how long a shift was.

First up, and for the second time today, I needed a uniform. This seemed like more of a problem than it had at the care home. Scrubs were anonymous, one size fits no one garments that you changed into when you arrived at work, meaning there were unclaimed ones lying around. Zookeepers, I would have guessed, came to work already in their uniforms, which meant that finding one might be trickier. I looked about me in search of inspiration and found it almost instantly as a tour party went past, led by a woman in a Bronx Zoo T-shirt. The sight clicked with a sign I had seen at the entrance when we came in.

I got out my phone, went online, and found the Bronx Zoo site. It didn't take me long to find what I was looking for under the heading 'Volunteer'. Zoos are always short of money and this one saved some by running a volunteer program, through which ordinary members of the public could come in and do menial tasks like, for instance, telling children to lean back. No wonder the keeper looked so pissed. She was doing an annoying job, for free, no less My guess was that there were more volunteers than could be easily kept track of and keepers made little attempt to keep track of them. Anyone who acted confidently enough could probably pull it off, and that I had covered.

Now all I had to do was get ahold of a T-shirt.

There are certain psychological things about people that it's worth knowing if you want to be a con artist, and one of these is that, however altruistic volunteering may seem, volunteers always get something out of it. One of those things is that smug thrill you get of being part of something. You got to hold keys, you got to sit in the staff room, maybe you got a close parking spot, and you probably got to use the special employee entrance.

“Can you guys give me a little space,” I murmured.

Nico frowned and Alexei opened his mouth to argue but I held up a hand. “You can watch me from like five yards away, okay?”

They nodded grudgingly and followed me at a distance over to the employee gate.

I didn't have to hang around long before I caught sight of a volunteer on her way out.

"Oh, I'm so glad to see you. I wasn’t sure I’d see someone I knew.”

The woman's eyes took on that look of cold fear that all people get in the horrifying social situation of having been recognized but not recognizing.

"Hi," she said hesitantly. "How are you?"

"Panicked," I said with a wince. "I'm supposed to be starting," I glanced frantically at my watch, "like now, and I left my T-shirt at home."

"Can't you just ask Carole for another?" the woman suggested.

I shook my head as I filed the name Carole away as a potentially useful one to know. "I already forgot three times this month and I've lost two. She's pissed at me and... well, you know what she can be like."

That was a shot in the dark but most people had some sort of beef with their boss. The look on this woman's face told me that I hadn’t misstepped.

“Yeah, ugh, I don’t envy you that lecture again. Here, you can borrow mine. Just leave it in the break room on the bookshelf in a bag with my name on it.”

“Will do.”

The woman had a halter top on under her T-shirt, making the changeover easy, and a few minutes later I was hurrying back towards where Alexei and Nico were still waiting.

"How the hell did you convince her to give you that?" asked Nico.

"Lower your voice," said Alexei sharply.

I ignored them both, keeping in character as I led the way back toward the tortoise enclosure, but shooing them back a little and making a camera gesture with my hands. Again, I was keen to have my success on record, in case Zeus started quibbling. Some gods it just didn't pay to trust.

The keeper looked up as I approached him, heart pounding. "Yeah?"

"Carole sent me. She said to take a break and let me take over for awhile.”

I had thought this bit of the plan might present some problems, and had been preparing to talk my way out of them, but the look of sublime relief on the keeper's face told me that it would be smooth sailing all the way.

"Yeah? Yeah? Great." She walked along the inside of the enclosure to a metal gate that was apparently not covered by the infra-red. "You know what you're doing?"

"Don't let anyone lean over the fence. Radio for help if anyone gets in with the tortoises?" I guessed.

"And try not to look bored."

"Right."

"You gotta key?"

"No, I'm just a volunteer."

The keeper nodded. "Okay. I'll have to lock you in, but someone will be along to relieve you."

The idea of being locked into an enclosure that I could easily climb over was a strange one but I guessed that zoo staff didn't want to be setting the alarms off every time they had to feed the animals.

"Did you bring a book?" the keeper asked.

"No. Was I supposed to?"

The keeper shook her head. "No. But you'll wish you had. I wish I had. Any questions?"

"I was just wondering; which one is Moru?"

The keeper pointed to the largest of the tortoises. "That's her."

Moru looked every bit her age. If all tortoises look old - and they did, they’re born that way - Moru looked ancient, like she had watched civilizations rise and fall through her rheumy eyes. She moved slowly, even for a tortoise. When she lowered her head to take a bite of juicy grass, it felt as if her head was embarking on a long journey and who knew what might happen along the way. Her pace was glacial, but she had a quiet dignity. I felt oddly ashamed that, as soon as I had a chance, I was going to run up and touch her. It felt like a curiously disrespectful way in which to treat my elders.

"Stand back a second." The keeper unlocked the heavy padlock on the gate and opened it the narrowest amount possible to squeeze through, as if concerned that a tortoise might suddenly make a break for it. She realized what she was doing and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, force of habit."

I nodded. The keeper held the gate open for me and I entered the tortoise enclosure.

"Have fun. Someone will be along eventually."

She locked the gate on me then headed off happily to do other less tedious things. I wondered how long it would take for someone to notice a rogue volunteer. My gut instinct was that it would take a while, but I was not about to take any risks.

The alarm sounded and I pursed my lips as I turned.

"Can you lean back, please?"

I was a natural.

Currently, there was something of a tight press of people around the tortoise enclosure, courtesy of a school party but, more importantly, there were keepers in the monkey cage across the path. I wanted as few spectators as possible when I did what I had to. The fact that I was locked in meant that my only reasonable way to leave was to set off the alarm and then walk in a calm and confident manner out of here, as if there was no harm in me setting it off because I was a volunteer. I didn't want any keepers nearby when I did that or they might start asking questions.

The two men in with the monkeys looked to be finishing up what they were doing. As I watched, they went to the door and did the narrow, sliding-out action I had watched my keeper doing earlier - that's how you go in and out of doors in a zoo. The crowd was thinning out now as the school party moved on in search of an animal they could watch eating, urinating or having sex, which I was convinced was the only reasons that children tolerated zoos.

I flicked my gaze casually up in the direction of Alexei and Nico, and Alexei answered with a slight nod. The moment had come.

I strolled down the line of the fence, as if I had all the right in the world to be here - I was a volunteer, after all. Then I 'spotted something' on the ground near Moru - perhaps some trash which had blown or been thrown into the enclosure, and which would do the animals harm if consumed. I walked over and stooped to pick up the invisible item. And, while I was down there, I laid a hand on Moru.

I wasn't sure if her shell counted so I also touched the dry, leathery skin of her neck, and let my hand slide down to her chest plate. I couldn't feel her heart through the protective armor, but it was in there, still beating after a hundred years. Now, I just had to hope that this tortoise had lived a better life than poor Gertie. I looked up to make sure that Alexei had gotten a photo of me - he had - and when I turned back, I found Moru staring at me. There was something about her gaze, like maybe she knew what I was doing. It was not just mankind I was saving, of course - there were all the animals, too. Tortoises always have a knowing gaze, it sort of goes with the territory, but the way Moru held my eye, I could not help wondering exactly how much she had quietly learned in the last one hundred and eighteen years. Who knew what secrets a tortoise could tell, if one had the inclination?

"Hey!"

One of the capital errors of grifting is to get too involved in what you're pretending to do and forgetting what you are actually doing. I pride myself on my ability to completely distance myself from the people I con. Not once have I ever looked into the eyes of a mark and wondered if there was any future for him and me if only we had met in different circumstances. A mark was a mark. But I had never grifted a tortoise before, and had been unprepared for the effect its wise eyes had upon me. Certainly, I'd never seen intelligence like that in the eyes of the bar flies I conned by wearing short skirts and low-cut tops. Moru wouldn't have fallen for a pool hustle.

"Hey."

At the sound of the voice, I straightened, and turned to see a woman striding purposefully towards the tortoise enclosure. Another keeper - how many did a zoo really need and why were they all working in the vicinity of the tortoises today? Still, I kept my cool - I might be thrown by a wise tortoise, but with humans, I knew what I was doing.

"Hi," I said. "Something wrong?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm a volunteer." Names can sometimes get you into trouble so I tried to answer without answering.

"I don't recognize you."

"Carole sent me." Dropping someone else's name can often be enough to get you out of trouble, especially the name of someone like Carole who was, by all accounts, a bit of a tyrant.

"I'm Carole," the keeper replied, her eyes narrowing with suspicion.

It can also go very wrong.

I frowned, as if this news was no big deal, albeit slightly confusing. "Are there two Caroles?"

"No."

“Huh. I thought she said Carole. Tall woman, blonde, mid-forties?"

Carole fixed me with a steady eye. "I'm in charge of all volunteers. Who are you?"

As it always did in these situations, Remi's sage advice drifted into my head, 'if you can't beat 'em, run.'.

I cleared my throat and fixed my gaze on a spot over Carole’s shoulder. When she turned to look, I took off like a bullet out of a gun, dodging tortoises, large and small, as I went.

I cleared the fence in a single bound - which wasn't really that difficult - and setting off the alarm as I went. As I ran, I made frantic gestures to Alexei and Nico to stay still and keep calm. If they started to run, too, then that would identify them as being with me, which was problematic for three reasons. Firstly, we were a much bigger target and easier to follow if there were three of us, and I was a lot faster on my feet than either of them. Secondly, they were not exactly inconspicuous - I pride myself on being able to blend, but people will remember the gorgeous giants legging it through a zoo. Thirdly, if I did get caught, then they would be a hell of a lot more use to me on the outside than in jail with me.

From behind, I heard a thump and a cry followed by Nico's voice saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, are you alright?"

I took a glance over my shoulder and grinned. He had tripped up Carole and caught her by the arms before she fell. She was currently staring up at him in awe as if she’d just witnessed a sunrise for the first time.

Well played, Nico, my boy!

Still running, I snaked a path through the zoo in the direction of the staff exit. It had a lock on it but Carole was bound come to her senses and radio the main gate to be on the lookout for me, so this was my best option. My luck was in; as I approached, two men came through the gate, chatting. I sprinted towards them before the gate had a chance to shut.

"Hey! Come quick!" I grabbed the men as they stood in the open gateway and pointed back the way I had come. "Carole needs help by the tortoises. Someone's trying to steal one."

The two men didn't wait but rushed off to help, while I let myself out, stripping off the T-shirt as I went.

Fifteen minutes later, after a quick phone call to Christoph, Alexei, Nico and I made our way back to where we had left the car. Christoph had managed to get it picked up by a reliable garage who had also supplied us with a loaner.

"This is really what you do for a living?" asked Nico.

"You don't think I'm good at it?"

Nico shrugged. "I think you're great at it. But if I were you, I'd have had a heart attack by now. How do you have the balls to do this stuff?"

"Born with balls, I guess." Had I inherited them? That was presumably the thought going through each of my companions' minds. They knew my father; did I remind them of him? It was not impossible.

But I was too buzzed to care at that moment. In sharp contradiction to this morning, I had come out of this grift feeling elated. Sure, that was because this one had not been such a depressing experience, nor had it brought up old and painful memories, but I fancied there was another reason, too.

"Come on, let's get home and check the scroll."

In the back of my head, I think I had always been a bit concerned about whether Gertie was the right person and whether it would work - fears that had ultimately been realized. This time, rightly or wrongly, I was one hundred percent sure that I had nailed it. We all piled into the new car.

Back at the apartment, I unfurled the scroll, not feeling quite as confident as I had standing by the side of the road. But those rising nerves were swiftly calmed as the sound of sizzling met my ears.

"Yes!" shouted Nico.

As new words started to form across the scroll, I chucked the thing in the air with a happy shriek.

Yesterday, I had made the mistake of reading the new task as soon as the old one was completed, giving me something to worry about rather than taking the time to celebrate the success. I would have spent a sleepless night worrying if it hadn't been for Alexei giving me better reasons not to sleep.

It wasn't like we were going to start on the next task until tomorrow, so why worry about it now?

"You're not going to read it?" asked Alexei.

"Nope," I announced. "I am going to have a drink."