CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
“Nate, are you going to join us in the living room? Faith suggested we play cards.”
Nate stared out the kitchen window that overlooked the back garden, draped in shadow as the sun began to set. He’d tried hard to not let his mood bring down his family’s holiday but it felt like he was fighting a losing battle.
Without Paige by his side he was like a rudderless ship. Every day he fought the urge to call her and apologize. Beg her to give him another chance, but it was too late. She’d moved on. He’d seen pictures of her smiling at a red carpet movie premiere, looking so incredibly beautiful. If she was happy, that was all he could hope for. That’s why he’d done this. He simply hadn’t known how painful it would be. He’d lost the love of his life.
Turning toward his mother, he pasted a smile on his face. “Sure, but if I win I don’t want to hear her complain.”
Her head tilted, Elaine studied him, her blue eyes soft with love. “It’s okay to miss her, Nate. I would be worried if you didn’t. But it will get better with time.”
He took a ragged breath and placed a hand over his aching heart. “I don’t think it will. It’s only getting worse.”
“You could call her.”
He was tempted, so very tempted. He’d taken to listening to the last voicemail she’d left him before they’d fought over and over again just to hear her voice. He was sad and pathetic. He’d even told his agent he didn’t care about getting another movie role once the play was done next year. He just wanted to slink away and lick his wounds.
If Paige felt even half of this, he could believe that she didn’t care about the movie if it meant she lost him. It was only now he was seeing her side. But once again…
Too fucking late. He was too stupid to be with Paige.
“I can’t do that, Mum. She could do better than me.”
Elaine smiled and pulled her son in for a hug. “I might be biased but I don’t think she could find a man that loved her more than you do.”
“Is love enough?”
He was afraid it wouldn’t be.
“Love can be if it’s combined with a few other things like patience, understanding, kindness, and commitment. If you can do that you’ve got something very powerful, son.”
He scraped his hand through his curls. “My track record isn’t a good one.”
“Have you ever felt this way before?”
“No, never. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.”
She smiled and patted his arm. “Then I don’t think past performance is indicative of future behavior. For what it’s worth, I believe in you.”
“You’re my mum. You have to,” Nate chuckled.
“I don’t have to,” she said stubbornly. “I can see all the good in you. You’ve done some selfish and self-centered things. You’ve sown some wild oats. More than your share, that’s for sure. But I think you know that your life could be so much more if you allow yourself to see yourself in a different way. You don’t have to be alone.”
The ringing of the doorbell saved him from having to reply. Thank goodness, because he didn’t know what he would have said. He had sown wild oats. He had been selfish. But for a moment he’d dared to think he could be more than a self-centered, egotistical movie star.
He desperately wanted to be the man Paige thought he was.
“Who could that be?” his mother asked as she bustled to the front door, Nate on her heels. It was probably one of the neighbors over to wish them a Happy Christmas. His mother had lived here for years and was quite close to the people on her block.
Faith and Jack were sitting in the living room and she’d jumped up to get the door but Elaine waved her away. “I’ll get it. It’s probably Rupert from down the street. He always stops by before church and brings me some lovely chocolates.”
“He’s sweet on you, Mum,” Faith teased, getting an elbow from Nate for her trouble. She elbowed him back just as hard, getting him right in the ribs just like she had when they were children.
“Shit,” he hissed, not wanting his mother to overhear him. “Your elbows are pointy.”
There was the sound of voices from the foyer and his mother came back into the living room, a big smile on her face and her blue eyes sparkling.
“Nate, you have a guest.”
He didn’t have a clue who else it could be. He stomped into the foyer and with one glance at who stood there, his heart stopped dead in his chest before coming to life and beating like a timpani. For the first time since that awful night he was able to breathe again.
“Paige.”
Her name came out choked but it was with happiness. She was here and all his doubts were battered over the head by one simple truth. He loved her beyond all measure. He’d do whatever needed to be done. This woman held his heart in her dainty hands.
“I hope it’s okay that we came.” She wrapped her arm around Jason, her gaze darting from Nate, to his mother, and then back again. The color on her cheeks was pink and she appeared to be as nervous as he felt. “I think we have some things to work out. I missed you.”
Just three words and he almost fell to his knees in gratitude, weeping at her feet. She’d missed him and that meant more than she’d ever know. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his trousers so she wouldn’t see them shaking.
“I missed you too.”
He didn’t realize that he was just standing there like a statue until she held out her arms in welcome. They flew together, their bodies and lips colliding as if they’d been apart years instead of a few weeks. It had only felt like a century or two.
The kiss didn’t last long but it was a promise of sorts. They were going to find a way to work this out. Being apart wasn’t an option any longer. They’d figure out how to be together.
Eventually she pulled back and reached up to cup his jaw with her hands. “Is there somewhere we can go to talk?”
Yes, they needed to talk.
“My room,” he said before finally giving Jason some of his attention. “Jason, let me introduce you to my family. Do you play cards?”