Chapter Six.
“The baby looks perfect. Measuring a little big for twenty weeks, but that’s still within normal limits. You are one very lucky woman, Samara.”
Samara couldn’t tear her eyes away from the ultra sound screen where her baby moved vigorously around, almost as though it were trying to run away from the probe pressed into her belly.
“I am. So, lucky.”
Her obstetrician took the metal paddle away and the screen froze on the last image of her little one.
It was four months since she’d left Hawaii, and three months since she’d realized she was pregnant. The most incredible and terrifying moment of her life so far. The fear had been immediate, followed swiftly by disbelief and then a warmth of love that she’d never expected.
Against all odds, she’d conceived the baby her specialists had sworn was almost impossible, in a body she’d been told may not be able to carry a child at all.
She’d held her breath until that first ultrasound at twelve weeks, when despite the fear gnawing at her insides, she’d hoped and prayed for a good outcome.
The Universe had delivered for her. Her life was now even better than she’d ever imagined. Seeing the baby’s little heart racing away on that first screening caused tears. They hadn’t stopped since. Tears of joy, tears of relief, tears of hormones that she couldn’t quite control.
Thank goodness the nausea had finally stopped. She’d lost ten pounds in the first trimester. She hadn’t been able to keep anything down.
“All done here. You can get dressed and I’ll see you at your next appointment.”
Her obstetrician handed her a print out of her baby’s profile and she gripped it tight. Her parents would love having this picture. She’d have to scan it and email them when she arrived home. “Thanks, Alex.”
He left her alone and she got to her feet, checking her phone and seeing another missed call from Julian. Her stomach tightened with unease.
What did he want now? That was the third time he’d called in three days.
She’d managed to avoid seeing him since Hawaii. There had been a few phone calls, emails to staff, and even a few video conference calls with decorators for the hotel. Despite her original reservations on working through this year, she enjoyed it. She’d been happy to help him follow up with the work she’d started, and had billed the King hotel empire for her time.
They’d paid for all her nursery furniture and stroller already, just in the overtime she’d done since leaving.
Everything was going so well in her life, she found herself holding her breath some days, waiting for something bad to happen.
Her business was ticking along, her two protégés were doing very well in her absence. She was seeing a chiropractor, a naturopath, and doing pregnancy yoga regularly. Her parents were happy and debt free, and she had a healthy baby growing inside her. Everything was perfect.
Her phone tinkled and she glanced down to see Julian’s ID once again. She groaned and switched it off, throwing it into her handbag. She paid the doctors bill with a swipe of her credit card and made her way out of the clinic.
Julian couldn’t find out about her pregnancy. He’d made it very clear that this was never on the cards for him. And yet, no matter how often she told herself that she was doing the right thing, the guilt she felt every day at keeping it from him ate at her heart.
She wanted to tell him, so much. But she was terrified to. Would he be angry with her? More than likely. Would he demand DNA tests? She shuddered at the thought. Would he never want to see her again, or worse, would he demand his parental rights?
No. She wouldn’t lose her baby. It was not an option.
She walked the few blocks home, stopping for a soy latte—her one for the week. She’d cut back on most unhealthy foods, but she just couldn’t give up her little bit of chocolate and caffeine.
Her reflection beamed back at her as she passed by the many sky rise buildings. She wore a coat today to stave off the fall chill, but her figure-hugging navy dress beneath showed her basketball bump nicely.
She smoothed her hand along her baby and kept walking, a list of emails that she needed to send off running through her head. As she approached her building her eye caught a flash of something silver as an expensive foreign car pulled up at the curb.
Rummaging through her large Hermes bag for her keys, she turned away toward her building. It was such a luxury to have a car in New York. The street was littered with yellow cabs and not much else.
“Samara.”
She froze, her fingers still clinging to the keys in her hand. She knew that deep, cool voice too well. Panic ensued with her heart stumbling to the starting blocks, and then racing off. Ants crawled all over her skin with feverish pace. Her belly!
She wrapped her coat around herself and tied the belt as tight as she could. When she turned around she’d managed to plaster a smile onto her face, but her knees were trembling where she stood.
Julian King. The man of her dreams. Literally. His blue eyes, hot words, and incredible love making skills still haunted her nightly hours.
He stepped in front of her, his eyes wide, his hands out stretched.
“You are one hard woman to find.”
Hardly. I didn’t even think of moving apartments.
She laughed and leaned forward as he drew her close. His lips touched hers with a soft kiss that lingered, a shiver caressing her spine as her eyes dropped to half-mast.
Don’t let him know!
She pulled back and held her bag in front of her belly, trying not to look as obvious and awkward as she felt.
“Not really. I’ve answered all your emails and most of your calls. But I’ve been busy too and the hotel seemed to be ticking along just fine. Anyway, Julian, how are you? Long time, no see.”
She was forcing it, and when his mouth dropped into a displeased frown, she knew she was blowing it. Big time.
“What’s wrong, Samara? Have I interrupted something? Are you meeting your boyfriend, or someone?” He looked behind him as though expecting a man to materialize.
She laughed, forcing out the sound. “Of course not. I was just sorting out lists in my head. A bit distracted today. How are you? How’s the hotel going? Trey has sent me photos and I’ve seen lots of good reviews on trip advisor.”
It had made her proud to see so many people flocking back to the hotel she’d helped re-build.
“And you’ve got your money, of course.” His tone was flat and it made her gut twist. Yes, she’d received the bonus she’d been promised if the hotel performed as they’d wanted within the first quarter. Mrs. King had been very impressed with the changes.
“Yes, I did. Thank you.”
Julian glanced up at her building. “Can I come up?”
He took her elbow and turned her. Her feet moving despite her brain telling her to stop.
“Ah, no. It’s not a good time.”
Julian stopped, his hand falling away from her elbow. “You have met someone.”
“No, no. It’s nothing like that. I just want to keep things as they were left. Clean cut.”
“Well, I don’t. Let’s go. I hate talking on the street where everyone can see us.”
He kept walking and somehow she followed along with his plan, opening the front door to her apartment building and got into the lift before she could think of a better way of putting him off.
He pushed the button for her floor and she rolled her eyes. He knew where she lived. She wouldn’t have been able to avoid him even if she’d convinced him to go away today, it was pretty obvious he would have come back and knocked on her door.
Damn. I should have said I had a new boyfriend. He would have left then.
When the elevator opened, she walked out into the hall and fumbled with her keys.
“Julian. What do you want? I really do have lots to do today.”
“I have another proposal for you. A better one. So if you don’t mind, I’d like a coffee and to sit down with you and talk about it.”
His tone brooked no argument and her brain went to mush. She twisted and held the key out, managing to get it into the hole and turning the knob to let her back into the apartment.
She held her breath as she did a quick scan of the furniture. No. Nothing baby orientated that she could see. It was all tucked away in the nursery.
“Coffee you said?”
She walked over to the kitchen and turned on her coffee machine. She hadn’t used it in months. The aromatic smell that had once made her practically moan with delight now made her belly churn.
One of the many things she’d gone off during her pregnancy.
“Cappuccino?”
She put the pod into the machine and heated up the milk, her heart fluttering away like a caged bird. How was she going to get him out of here?
She made his drink and turned around, pushing it across her crowded bench top. Her back was sweating and she was dying to take her coat off but the last thing she wanted to do was expose her pregnancy.
“What can I do for you, Julian?”
His eyes brows did that odd dance when he was surprised by her and wasn’t sure what he should say. “I wanted to see you, what’s wrong with that? You’ve been avoiding my calls and I wanted to check on you, make sure everything was okay.”
She gestured to herself in general. “Well, as you can see, I’m fine. Travelling along my journey.”
The corner of his mouth kicked up in a cute smile she remembered so well and her tummy fluttered at the sight. “You’re such a hippy.”
She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. “Yeah, well. I’m me. And you know that.”
“I do. And that’s why I’m here…. You look different.”
You have no idea.
“Well, I feel different. I’m finally looking after myself as I should. So please, I have a shower calling to me and a conference call later on. Our business is done, Julian.”
He was still staring at her, his eyes surveying her body, skimming over her breasts and lower.
She looked down and realized crossing her arms beneath her breasts had caused her coat to tug against her belly, exposing her curve.
Oh, no….
****
Was that the reason she was still in her jacket? Her cheeks flushed pink with the warmth of the room. She was hiding her belly from him. But why?
Julian swallowed the acid in his throat, his eyes lingering around the soft swell of her lower abdomen. Her jacket gaped open, revealing…
“You’re pregnant.”
The words came out like gun shot in the room.
His hands began to shake as he picked up his coffee cup and took a sip, ice running through his veins, vanishing all remnants of heat. Had she gotten herself knocked up after she returned to New York? With IVF as she had planned? Or was it his?
“Whose baby is it, Samara?”
His brain calculated the dates, four months, one week since she’d returned to New York.
He had no idea how pregnant she looked, but he was going to find out the truth, so help him!
“Ah, um...”
Why was she stammering? The question wasn’t that difficult and definitely indicated a hole in her usual immediate honesty.
“Julian, this is my baby, there is no father.”
Anger boiled in his gut like a turbulent sea. He pressed both palms into the cold marble of the bench top, glaring hard at the woman he thought he could trust, who wouldn’t lie to him about something so important.
“It's mine. Isn't it?”
She didn't move, but every instinct in his primitive hunter sensed the fear, knew the truth.
No! He spun away from her, his hands clenching into fists. “For fuck’s sake, Samara! How the hell did this happen?”
She was a liar! A god damn liar. Like every other woman he’d ever met. He’d thought she was different. How could he have been so wrong about a person?
Once again. Classic fool.
“Calm down, Julian. I told you. This baby is my choice. There is no father, no obligation. You need not do anything.”
Need not do anything? The words reverberated around his head like the echoes in a cave.
A coldness washed over him, straightening his spine to an iron rod. Had she just admitted that the baby she carried was his? What happened to the IVF she’d wanted to begin? Not to mention her supposed infertility. He’d actually felt sorry for her about that. For months after they’d split.
“How on Earth did this even happen, Samara? You said you were on the pill. That you were beginning IVF soon because getting pregnant naturally wasn’t possible for you. What other lies have you told me?”
She blinked a few times before flicking her hair over her shoulders and placing both hands on her hips. The move made her coat spread wide and his gaze dropped to her swollen little belly.
“I’ve been on the pill for ten years for my endo. I went off it a couple of weeks before I met you, on doctor’s orders, so I could start the IVF process. And I was told I might never conceive naturally.”
So, when he didn’t pull out in time in the pool and she told him she was on the pill…
“So you out right lied.”
He turned away. Every woman he’d ever met had deceived him, but this was the worst ever.
Holy mother in heaven.
A baby.
She touched his shoulder and he flinched, but he couldn’t stop himself from turning around and looking at her flushed face.
“I didn’t mean to mislead you that time in the pool. I was all blissful and post orgasm when you asked and I just answered without thinking.”
He glared down at her, his jaw aching from the tight clench he had on his teeth. “That’s your excuse? The orgasm made you do it? Why would you even keep it when you found out?’
When her eyes widened in horror he looked away, unable to watch her outrage spread across her beautiful, traitorous face. He knew why she’d kept the baby when she found out she was pregnant without an expensive IVF process. This baby had been her yearly goal, her plan, and he’d fallen for it, hook line and sinker.
She finally removed her jacket, revealing her gorgeous body and the protruding belly that his genetics had contributed to. She stared at him as she stroked her stomach with both hands, her fingers running up and down in a rhythmic, loving pattern. “Because I believe in the Universe and the laws of attraction, Julian. I wanted a baby this year and was willing to go through IVF alone to achieve it. This was meant to happen. I just know it. This is the baby I’m meant to have.”
The heavy, angry pain that ripped through his gut rippled up and out, filling his arms with a tension that mimicked the need to fight against the stress attacking him.
“You’re meant to have? Didn’t you even consider whether I should be asked how I feel? How selfish could you be, Samara?”
She dropped her arms and turned her hands up. “I’m telling you now when I could have lied to you. Told you it was a donor sperm baby. You made it very clear that night we had dinner that you had no interest in marriage, a family, or even a proper relationship. Why would I burden you with this information when it’s the furthest thing from your life plan?”
What a ridiculous reason to with-hold life altering information.
“So now it’s my fault? You stole my sperm, gave me no choice in this, and now you’re having my baby without my permission.”
Anger flickered across her face, her lush mouth twisting up and her eyebrows drawing together. “I did not steal your sperm. If I remember correctly, you gave it to me without a second thought.”
Heat washed up his neck, a spreading sense of shame finding its target near his gut. He’d cum inside her without a thought for the consequences, something that had never happened before. Not even with his ex-wife.
“But if I’d known you weren’t protected we could have sought out the morning-after pill. You’ve taken away any chance I had in making this decision with you!”
Her hands went to her small belly, cradling it protectively as she slowly took a few steps back toward the door. “I need you to leave, Julian. Just pretend this conversation never happened.”
She held open the door to her apartment and he stared at her.
“Are you serious?”
She nodded once. “Absolutely. I didn’t want you to feel trapped or hurt, or anything. We had a good time in Hawaii, but we’re home now and you can go back to your own life.”
As if he could, or would do that.
But she obviously didn’t know him well enough to know that. He marched straight out into the corridor, his back ram rod straight, his nails digging into his palms and rolling waves of nausea.
A baby. His baby.
Not his baby. Hers.