Natasha ~ Present
I WAS AT MY DESK, going through the event book, double checking it against the accounts, and trying to finalize our schedule for the next three months. It was a few days since we’d come back from our trip, and I still felt like I was playing catch up.
Tanisha was great, but I was still getting used to her presence, both professionally and personally.
Millie was giving Claire more of the workload in the kitchen as her wedding date drew near, and with her living at Jackson’s, I felt like I hardly got to see her.
Both Dru and Jericho were just acting . . . off.
I’d tried talking to Dru about what had happened at the inn, but she’d just waved me off and changed the subject.
And, Jericho? He’d been distant.
No, I didn’t expect him to spend every waking second with me. In fact, I’d been the one talking about how we needed to still live our lives, but, since we’d come home, I hadn’t even seen him. Not once.
I was trying really hard not to freak out.
We still texted, and talked on the phone. But he hadn’t spent the night, or invited me to do so at his house. Sure, I probably could have taken it upon myself to go to his house and invite myself to spend the night, but I found his distance was making me question things.
Plus, I’d gotten sick after we came home, and had been fighting dizziness and fatigue.
All in all, things currently sucked, and trying to distract myself with work wasn’t helping. Maybe I needed to take over an event, or go help Claire in the kitchen. I was no chef, but I followed directions really well.
I stood up, eager to take a minute away from my desk, when another wave of dizziness had me sitting back down.
“You okay?” Tanisha asked as she stepped into the room.
Millie was off today, and Dru was out doing God knows what, so it was just Tanisha and me in the office.
“Uh, yeah,” I said, waving my hand to indicate it was no big deal. “Just too many hours at this desk with no food. I was thinking of walking down to Rooster’s to get some tea and a muffin or something. Do you want anything?”
Tanisha walked over and sat down across from my desk. She looked fabulous in a bright-red suit jacket and A-line skirt, her dark braids pulled back and secured at her neck.
“Still feeling . . . off?” she asked gently, her dark eyes probing.
“Yeah, nothing a little food and shut-eye won’t fix,” I replied with a shrug.
“Natasha, is there any possibility you could be pregnant?” Tanisha asked, and my eyes flew to her face in shock as I lost all feeling in my body.
“What? No, I mean, yes . . . but, I’m on the pill,” I said desperately, my mind reeling.
“Birth control isn’t a hundred percent. Have you missed a day here and there? The only reason I ask is that’s what happened to me, and your symptoms look the same.”
“I didn’t know you had a child,” I managed, even though I was trying to remember everything I’d done over the past weeks.
“I don’t,” she replied sadly. I looked up and focused on her for a second. “I actually lost the baby about six months ago. That’s part of the reason I moved here and changed jobs, I needed to get away from the memories. Start fresh.”
“I’m so sorry,” then asked, curious, even though I didn’t want to pry, “And, the father?”
“He’s moved on as well, although he’s still back in the city. Anyway, I didn’t tell you that to make this about me . . .”
“The first time,” I muttered once my mind finally finished cataloging events. “With Jericho . . . It had been years so I wasn’t on anything. And, we didn’t . . . I started the pills again after the first time.”
I think she saw the panic setting in, because she said, “Why don’t you go and get a test and find out for sure, before you get yourself worked up. It could be just a bug.”
I nodded, although now that she’d put the thought in my head, the more it made sense.
Oh my God, what am I going to do?
“Hey,” Tanisha said, standing and coming around my desk to place her hand on my shoulder.
I stood and accepted the comfort she offered.
“Get the test first,” she said again, and I nodded against her shoulder. “No matter what happens, you have a great support system. Your sisters, Jericho, and I’m happy to help in any way I can.”
Jericho. What is he going to think about all of this?
“Test,” I said aloud, telling myself not to worry until I knew I had something to worry about. Tanisha was right, I did have a great support system. I’d be fine and figure out what to do once I knew the results.
Still, as I walked toward the door, my body felt completely numb.
“Do you want me to come with you, or call one of your sisters?” Tanisha offered.
“Could you?” I asked gratefully. “Can you come with me, and ask them to meet us at my apartment?”
“Sure can,” she said, and started calling as we walked out the back door and headed toward the pharmacy.
“Hey, Millie, yes, it’s Tanisha. Do you think you can meet us at Natasha’s apartment in thirty minutes? No, nothing is wrong, she just needs a . . . family meeting. Thanks.”
I listened as if through a tunnel as she made the same call to Dru. Once we reached the pharmacy, I stood in the street, staring at the door, but unable to put one foot in front of the other and go inside.
“Do you want me to get one?” Tanisha asked.
“Yeah, or two . . . maybe five,” I replied.
Tanisha chuckled and said, “You got it.”
I stayed there, standing on the sidewalk in front of the store, half afraid I’d find out I was pregnant, and half afraid I wouldn’t.