CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Terror claws at my insides, pulling me out of sleep.
It takes me a few seconds to figure out why.
I’m going to be a father.
Not the father-figure to a bunch of child-like bikers.
An actual father.
I can’t believe it. Can’t believe how much I want it.
It’s all the other stuff leading up to our child’s arrival that woke me. I almost lost Hope once. How the fuck did we let this happen?
Next to me she moans in her sleep and wriggles closer. My arm automatically slips around her waist and I settle my hand on her stomach.
That’s how this happened. I can’t keep my hands off her.
An hour later, I still can’t sleep. Hope rolls over and burrows her head under her pillow.
Quiet as I can, I slide out of bed.
“Where’re you going?” she asks.
“Why’re you awake?”
“Not,” she mumbles.
“Can’t sleep. Gonna run over to the clubhouse.”
“Be careful.” Her standard answer for everything I do. My girl worries about me as much as I worry about her. She sighs and her breathing returns to deep and even.
Now that I’ve made the decision, I dress quickly and pad down the stairs. Except for a strip of light shining under Heidi and Murphy’s door, the house is dark.
I’m the loudest thing crashing through the woods in the middle of the night. I’m not even sure why I decided to go to the clubhouse.
Z’s in the war room and he grins when he sees me. “What’s up brother?”
“Can’t sleep.”
His grin turns filthy. “I can think of a hundred better ways to cure insomnia than comin’ over here.”
“Yeah, well. She needs her rest.”
He drops the smirk. “What’s wrong? Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Just worry about her.”
He cocks his head. “Looks like more than your usual overbearing nature. What’s going on?”
Here, Hope and I agreed to keep the baby a secret for now and the first person I run into, I’m ready to spill everything. But it’s not just anyone, it’s Z. As much as he lives to irritate me some days, at least he’ll be receptive to the news. Unlike Wrath, who’s allergic to anything pregnancy or baby related. When I finally break the news to my oldest friend, it will break his damn heart.
So Z it is.
“She’s pregnant.” It feels weird to say the words. Weird and amazing. “We’re not telling anyone yet.”
“Yeah,” he answers slowly. “I get it.” He stands and gives me a hug and back slap. “Congratulations, that’s awesome.”
“It is.” I pull out my chair and drop into it, feeling better already.
“Now the insomnia makes sense.”
“I’ll be pushing sixty when this kid graduates from high school.” As soon as I say it out loud, I realize that’s one of the things bothering me.
Z waves his hand in the air, dismissing that concern. “You’re in better shape than most guys half your age. You’ll be fine. How’s she feeling?”
As frightening as he might appear on the outside, Z might be the only one of my brothers who’d think to ask that question first. “Tired. Nauseous.”
“You just find out?”
My jaw tightens. “I did. She’s known for a little bit.”
“Aw, poor girl.”
I give him a sharp look. “Poor girl?”
“It probably killed her keeping that from you. Bet she didn’t want you gettin’ excited in case something happened?”
“That’s the gist of it.”
“You better not have been too hard on her.”
I snort and then laugh, amused with him for taking Hope’s side.
There’s a soft knock at the door and then it opens a fraction. Hope’s pale face stands out against the darkness in the rest of the clubhouse.
“Am I interrupting?” she asks.
I stand and meet her, pulling her to my chair and into my lap.
She wiggles around so she’s facing Z. “How come you’re up?”
“I’m always up, Hope. You know that.”
She laughs softly and leans back, wrapping her arms around me.
“What brought you over, baby doll?”
She lets out a loud yawn, stretching her arms overhead and then settling them around my neck. “Can’t sleep without you.”
Z stands, an uncomfortable laugh rolling out of him. “I have some work to do next door. I’ll leave you two alone.”
“Thanks, Z,” Hope says as she watches him leave.
I squeeze her a little tighter. “Don’t like you walking through the woods alone at night.”
“I was worried about you.” She nuzzles against my neck. “You smell good.” Her tongue darts out, teasing over my skin. “Taste good too.”
“Careful, baby doll.”
“Why?” Her hand moves over my chest, sliding up to cup my cheek.
A slight turn of my head and I dip down to taste her lips. She shifts and sits up, taking the kiss deeper. “Rock.”
“You want to go home?”
“Can’t wait that long,” she responds, voice full of urgency.
What little control I had in the first place, snaps. I slip my arms under her and stand. Setting her on the edge of the table, I push myself between her knees and brush her hair out of her face. “Do you know how beautiful you are? How much I love you?”
“Show me.”
I unzip her sweatshirt and raise an eyebrow. “You came over here with nothing underneath?”
She gives me a sly smile and slips her hands under my T-shirt. We kiss again, and I slide her sweatshirt off, letting it pool around her. “Lie back for me.”
“Why?” her voice nothing more than a husky whisper.
Movement to my right catches my eye and I glance at the door.
Sparky stands there, eyes wide and apparently too stunned to move. He catches the look on my face and backs out quickly.
Why can’t I ever fuck my wife on the war room table without someone walking in on us?
“What’s wrong?” Hope asks, balling her fists in my shirt.
“Nothing.” She’ll die of embarrassment if she knows Sparky stopped by. “Lie back for me.”
She does as I ask, sitting up on her elbows, so she can watch me.
“No underwear either. You are naughty.”
Her soft laughter eases all the worries I came over here with.
I pull my chair closer, and hook my arms under her knees, dragging her to the edge of the table.
“I really want your cock,” she whispers.
“You’ll take what I give you and love every second.” I kiss her inner thigh, taking time to drag beard scruff over her soft skin. She makes this sigh-moan-laugh sound deep in her throat that’s sexy as fuck.
Still wanting to drag this out as long as possible, I slide my fingers against her bare lips, adding pressure with each pass. She’s slick and ready when I finally lean forward and skim my tongue along the same path.
“Oh more. Rock, more. Please,” she begs. I smile against her skin. She has no idea how loud she’s being. Love that.
This isn’t the time or place to take my sweet time. I close my mouth over her clit, sucking hard. She bucks against my mouth and I answer by pushing a finger inside her.
A little more and she’s done. Only when she’s gasping for air and her voice is raw, do I let up. Her left ankle rests on my shoulder while her right foot is braced against the table, leaving everything on display under the harsh overhead lights.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Hope.”
She answers by stretching her arms over her head, arching her back. Driving me even crazier with the need to have her.
I stand, pressing kisses along her thigh and behind her knee, even rubbing my cheek against her calf. She jiggles with laughter.
“That tickles.”
“Hang on. I’ll give you something that won’t tickle.”
She laughs harder and tries to sit up.
“No.” I pin her with a look and she stops. “Put your hands over your head and arch your back again.”
She does it, but it’s not quite as natural and spontaneous as the first time.
I run my palm over her belly, up between her breasts and stop to tease her nipples until she’s relaxed again.
I can’t shove my pants down fast enough. I grab her ankles, spreading her legs and slide into her.
We both stop to groan. The tight wet heat of her body is almost too much. She sets me on fire. Incinerating me from the inside out.
This won’t take long, but there’s no way I’ll come until she does one more time for me.
Savoring, every thrust and sound we make, I go at a lazy pace until her inner muscles tighten around my cock.
Fuck, being inside my wife is the only place I need to be. The second I’m with Hope, the rest of the world ceases to exist. All the complicated bullshit disappears. My worries evaporate.
“Harder,” she whispers.
That’s all I need to hear. I thrust harder, chasing the calmness and peace that connecting with her brings.
Her breathy sighs turn to long moans and whimpers. A never-ending stream of words begging me not to stop.
A searing rush of love and protectiveness surges inside me and I gather her closer, pressing my lips to hers. She holds on tight, digging her nails into my shoulders, setting me off.
I let go, unleashing an intense orgasm that leaves me shouting her name.
“Love you,” she whispers, blinking up at me.
I drop my forehead to hers. “Love you too. Are you okay?”
She wiggles under me and I groan.
“This table’s pretty hard.”
“I’ll show you hard.”
We both laugh at the silly joke and I pull her up. She’s soft and dreamy as I help her dress.
My fears of losing her haven’t gone away. If anything I’m more aware than ever of how precious every moment is and what lengths I’ll go to in order to protect what matters most.