CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
I’m still feeling down the day after the funeral. It’s dinner night at the clubhouse and I consider asking Rock if we can skip it, but he’s already dressed and waiting for me when I get home.
“Hey, baby doll.” Soft country music spills from the speakers in the living room and he wraps an arm around my waist, twirling me into the house.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“Can’t I be happy to see my girl?” He spins me again and yanks me against his hard chest.
I can’t help laughing. “I’m clumsier than ever.”
“More beautiful than ever,” he counters. “Dance with me, pretty girl.”
So for two more songs we gently swing and sway to spry, twangy music while Rock softly sings lyrics of loving my troubles away in my ear.
The heaviness in my heart lifts with each turn and dip.
Behind us, the front door opens. “Damn, Prez. Had no idea you had moves like that,” Murphy says.
We turn and I realize I’m laughing.
“Where’s Trinity?” I ask as Rock pulls out my chair at the dining room table.
“Post office run,” Wrath answers. “She’ll be here any minute.” He turns and glances out the window. “There she is.”
“Dinner will be out in ten,” Swan calls out.
Each brother’s here and I spend a few minutes catching up on what everyone’s been up to.
“Hey!” Trinity greets everyone. She slaps a pile of mail on the table and throws herself into the chair across from me. “Just came back from the post office.” She tosses a catalog my way. “Here, Hope.” She gestures toward Murphy, then Wrath, and finally Rock. “Since Murphy’s started a beard trend around here, I thought you might enjoy that. And for some reason there were three of them stuffed in our box.”
“That sounded incredibly dirty,” Ravage points out.
“Shut it,” Sparky mumbles.
I pluck the catalog off the table and flip through pages of high-end beard and shaving products featuring meticulously groomed manly men in various stages of sexy chores like chopping wood and fixing cars. “Well, this isn’t realistic.” I shake my head. “There isn’t a ripped jean or smudge of dirt anywhere on these guys.”
“Posers,” Z snarks, looking over my shoulder. “I bet that dude’s never touched an ax in his life. That’s probably a prop tool.”
“You’re a prop tool,” Stash says, flinging a pen at Z’s chest.
Z catches it and flips Stash off in one motion.
“Their beards are impeccably groomed,” Trinity adds, tapping one of the pages. “The company isn’t far from here. Wonder if they need a photographer,” she mutters.
“Oooh, the Outlaw-scented beard oil. It features scents of”—I read off the description from the catalog that ends with the line—“known to work as an aphrodisiac.”
“On who?” Charlotte asks. “Them or us?”
I reread the description before answering. “Doesn’t say.”
“Think it over, Hope,” Wrath warns. “You want to risk him jumping you more than usual?” He nods at Rock, who punches his arm. Wrath doesn’t even seem to notice the hit, he’s laughing so hard.
“I dunno,” Ravage says. “These days Rock might be the one getting worn out.”
“Haven’t you run your mouth enough today?” Rock growls.
“Hmm, church must’ve been interesting this morning,” I mutter, returning my attention to the catalog.
From the corner of my eye, I catch Heidi squirming in her seat, which makes Ravage zero in on her immediately. He rounds the table and leans down over her shoulder.
“What’s wrong, princess?” The wide grin stretched across Rav’s face makes Murphy narrow his eyes.
“Nothing.” She puts her hand out for the catalog and checks the cover. “I bought Murphy one of those sets for St. Patrick’s Day.” She reaches up and strokes the back of her hand over Murphy’s beard. “It’s good stuff. Smells really nice.”
“So metrosexual of you, bro,” Rav snarks at Murphy.
Heidi squints up at Ravage. “Do people still say that?”
Murphy shrugs and slaps Rav’s hand off the back of Heidi’s chair. “I dunno. I use whatever she puts in front of me.”
“No surprise there,” Dex mutters, rolling his eyes.
Someone—Z, if I had to guess—makes a whip-crack sound and Murphy shakes his head as he’s not at all embarrassed to at the insinuation that he’s pussy-whipped. “Jealousy’s an ugly color, bro.”
Charlotte wiggles her eyebrows and elbows Heidi. “Did it work?”
Teller groans. “Seriously?”
“What?” Charlotte spreads her hands in front of her gives us an innocent shrug. “We could have a false advertising suit on our hands.”
“Hey, they have a kid. They probably need the help in that department,” Ravage adds with a false-sympathetic tone.
“Do you want to die today?” Teller growls, sounding an awful lot like Rock, which makes me chuckle.
“What?” Ravage touches his chest. “I don’t discriminate. I’m equally obnoxious to all the ol’ ladies.”
I pick my head up and confirm his assessment. “It’s true. He told me I’d make a good porn star the other day.”
This time the growling comes from Rock’s side of the table.
“See,” Rav says without a hint of shame. “It wouldn’t be fair if I treated Heidi differently because she’s your sister, Teller.”
Heidi scrunches up her nose. “Uh, thanks. I think.”
“No one here needs the aid of an aphrodisiac,” Swan says, setting out a king-sized bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. “What else do they have, Hope?”
Ravage slings his arm around her neck and gives her a quick hug. “Why, thanks, darlin’.”
“No one coupled-up requires it,” she amends with a cheeky smile. “Who knows what you single guys need.”
“That hurts.” Rav puts on a fake pout.
I reach over and pat his arm. “It’s okay. It’ll happen for you one day.”
He raises his eyebrows. “What’s gonna happen to me?”
“You’ll find someone,” Heidi explains.
“Nope. No thanks.” He gestures around the table. “I love our family just the way it is.” He shoots a glare at Z and then Dex. “We have a pact to remain single.”
“That has to be the gayest thing you’ve ever said, bro” Stash says. “And you’ve given us plenty of material over the years.”
“Speak for yourself,” Z says, glancing at Dex, who looks away.
“Are there any more balls?” Stash yells toward the kitchen.
Z picks up a stray pot holder Swan left behind and smacks Stash with it. “Can’t you go ask like a normal human?”
“No.”
“Maybe we should get a to-go bag,” I grumble.
“Aw, I haven’t seen you all day. Don’t leave.” Trinity says.
“It’s family dinner night, dad,” Wrath adds.
I suspect Wrath hasn’t been too thrilled about the mandatory family dinner nights Rock added sometime after Teller’s accident when he came home from rehab.
Even though Teller’s moved out and into his own home with Charlotte, the family dinner night managed to stick.
“I bought a chocolate cake,” Swan says in her enticing-us-to-stay voice. She sets a huge bowl of meatballs smothered with red sauce in front of Ravage. “With the thick fudgy frosting, Hope.”
My eyes widen in delight. “We’ll stay.” I point to Ravage. “If you behave.”
“I’d love to, Hope. I’m not sure I know how.”
“Fuck, if that’s not the smartest thing you’ve ever said,” Rock agrees.
There’s hardly anything left after dinner. I offer to help Swan clean the table off, but Trinity, Charlotte, and Heidi go instead, telling me to stay put.
“Well, I still need to pee,” I mutter. Rock stands and offers his hand.
“You need me?” he asks.
“To help me pee? Not yet. Give me another month or two.” I rub my hand over my belly and he laughs.
“Hurry back.”
“Careful, Rock. Don’t get too worked up.” Z says as soon as Hope leaves the dining room.
I drag my gaze away from my wife to cut a look at Z. “About what?”
He lowers his voice. “The no sex thing.”
Wrath frowns. “Have you lost your mind, Z?”
Z gestures toward Hope’s empty chair. “The baby.”
“What about the baby?”
“She’s showing more. Aren’t you worried? You must, I don’t know—”
Wrath explodes with laughter. “He’s asking if you’re worried about poking the baby with your dick.”
“Shut up,” Z snaps. “It’s a legit question.”
When I finish laughing, I answer him honestly. “The baby’s perfectly fine and protected. The doctor assured me.”
“Oh shit!” Ravage yells. “You really asked that?”
“Fuck yeah, I did. That’s what the doctor’s for.”
“Poor Hope was probably mortified.” Wrath chuckles.
Z shrugs and looks away. “Just figured she must be tired or whatever.”
“Uh, no. For once, she’s the one waking me up in the middle of the night.”
Naturally Hope chooses that moment to rejoin us. My dickhead brothers grin at her. “Why don’t you just tell her what we were talking about? It’d be easier, jackasses,” I growl under my breath.
Hope’s wary gaze sweeps over everyone before settling on Z, Wrath, Ravage, and finally me. “Hmm, what were you discussing?”
Ravage chooses that moment to pipe up. “Z asked if you’re only blowing Rock now so the baby doesn’t get a concussion.”
Hope’s jaw drops, which would be pretty damn cute under other circumstances.
“That’s not what I said, dickhead.” Z reaches across the table and punches Ravage’s arm.
“Ow! Fucker.”
“It’s nothing that bad, Hope.” Wrath smirks. “Prez was explaining the miracle of life to Z, because apparently the fancy private school he went to didn’t offer sex ed.”
“Shut up,” Z grumbles.
Hope snorts, her cheeks turn a tad pink. “Which miracle? The joy of holding my hair when I puke? My aching feet that need his big, manly hands to rub them every night?”
Z grins. “Getting warmer.”
Hope shoots me a look, a brief twitch at the corners of her mouth shows she’s more amused than pissed. “Ahh, the rapture of I-need-his-assistance-in-the-bedroom-five-times-a-day.”
“Five times.” Z whistles. “Go easy on him, Hope. Rock’s not a young stud anymore.”
“No, he’s better.” She perches on my lap and runs her fingers through my hair.
“You guys are disgusting,” Stash says.
Murphy chuckles and the guys look his way.
“What?” Ravage says.
Murphy flicks his gaze my way and for a second, I think he’s going to rib me about dancing in the living room with Hope this afternoon.
“Nothing,” Murphy says. “I was just thinking how sad it is that you’re gonna die alone.”
“Fuck that,” Ravage says. “I’m going out in a blaze of glory.”
Trinity carries out a huge chocolate cake and sets it in front of us. Hope’s eyes widen and she rubs her hands together in anticipation while I cut her a slice.
“Sex and chocolate cake,” Wrath teases. “Now we know what does it for pregnant ladies.”
“Is there any peanut butter?” Hope asks, sliding into her own chair and ignoring Wrath. She glances at the rest of us. “You guys better pray Swan bought more than one cake. I’m about to inhale this thing.”
Heidi sets a jar of peanut butter in front of Hope and she grabs it, unscrewing the top and dipping in her spoon. “Thanks, Heidi.”
Swan brings out a vanilla cake with white frosting. Hope gives it a brief glance and wrinkles her nose. “Keep the vanilla down there.”
“Someone’s kinky!” Ravage shouts.
Hope sputters. “What?”
Ravage nods at the cake. “Vanilla? Never mind.”
“You’re a douche,” Wrath says.
“Everyone already knows about their basement room of kinkery,” Z adds.
Heidi gags and covers Alexa’s ears. “Isn’t traumatizing me enough? Must you corrupt my daughter too?”
“There’s not… we don’t have,” Hope stutters.
I rest my hand over hers. “Let it go, Hope. Just let it go.”
My cheeks are still warm and I glare at Z, who quickly looks away.
Heidi seems to pick up on my discomfort. “Trust me, Hope. Nothing will cure embarrassment like having your legs in the air and everyone sticking their face in your hoo-ha,” she says, using her arms to demonstrate the wide in the air part. “Just wait.”
Trinity snorts and I glare at her.
“Maybe I should be knocked out.” I shovel another forkful of cake in my mouth and rethink my birthing plan.
“Well, but then you don’t know who’s been up in your business,” Heidi says. “So afterward, every time someone comes in the room you have to wonder…”
“All right. That’s enough,” I say holding up a hand to stop her. “You’re freaking me out.” I grab Rock’s hand. “You can’t leave my side.”
“Don’t plan to.” He glances at Heidi. “Especially after those visuals.”
Wrath’s laughing so hard the plates on the table rattle.
I glare at him too. “It’s not funny.”
“No, it’s not.” He shifts and mutters, “I won’t be able to get it up for a week.”
Trinity shushes him. “Continue, Heidi, this is the best birth control reminder ever.” She leans in, whispering in Wrath’s ear and he nods.
“There it is.” He gives me a cocky wink. “We’ll just double up.”
“I hate you guys,” I grumble, rubbing my hand over my stomach.
Murphy shakes his head quick, like he’s trying to dislodge the words we just polluted his brain with. “I don’t want anyone’s face in your business,” he says to Heidi.
“Well,” she answers slowly. “I guess you should stop trying to impregnate me, then.”
Trinity and Wrath lose it, laughing so hard my ear drums are in danger of bursting.
Charlotte’s hand tightens around Teller’s as he glares at Murphy.
“What?” Murphy shrugs. “She said it.”
“Yes, but you’re the one doing it.”
Charlotte turns to the side and bites her fist, trying not to laugh.
I can see Murphy weighing in his head which snarky response he wants to throw at his best friend. And while most days I enjoy how much Murphy’s grown up and the way he stands up to Teller, tonight, I’m too exhausted.
I lean my head on Rock’s shoulder. “I’m too tired for this. Can you two go beat each other up somewhere else?”
Rock rubs a hand over my belly. “Too much cake?”
“No way, I could eat the rest of that thing right now. I just don’t need the sugar rush.”
At the other end of the table, the guys start up again.
“You’re destined to die alone,” Dex says to Ravage. “There might be some hope for you.” He points Z’s way.
“If I die, it’s going to be in a pile of hot women living to serve my every need,” Ravage boasts.
A whole lot of eye-rolling goes on.
“Find a girl and treat her the right way and it’ll be better,” Teller says.
“You have to say that, ’cause your girl’s sittin’ right there,” Ravage shoots back.
“Fuck that shit,” Stash says. “Then it’s all missionary fucking and kissing. Giving head to get a little head. No thanks.”
“I’m not sure what you’re describing, but it’s not marriage,” Rock says.
I poke my elbow in his side and his deep, rumbly laughter warms me all over.
“Stop being such a selfish dipshit,” Dex says.
“Maybe he just hasn’t found the right person,” Murphy adds. “You can’t force it.” In a lower voice he adds, “Or find a woman desperate enough to put up with him.”
“I heard that, ginger Yeti.”
“Oh great.” Heidi rolls her eyes. “I’m glad that’s becoming a thing.”
“I said it first,” Z reminds us.
“Brag about it, that makes it less idiotic,” Teller says.
“My fiancé has a point,” Charlotte says as she spoons ice cream onto her cake.
“What’s that?” Ravage raises his eyebrows.
“That sex is better if you’re with the right person.” She squints like she’s trying to remember something. “I think they say only eleven percent of women regularly achieve orgasm with one-night stands.” She slides her hand through the air in an upward gesture. “But the longer a couple’s together the more orgasms the woman has.”
“In that case, Rock must be knocking Hope’s socks off ’round the clock,” Z says.
“Yes he does,” I mutter.
“I got a list a mile long of ladies who’ll tell you that’s not true,” Stash says with a smirk.
“They’re faking it.” Dex really seems to be enjoying bursting bubbles tonight.
“That’s the chick’s problem.” Ravage shrugs and sits back. “Long as I get off. That’s all I’m worried about.”
“And that’s why you’re gonna die alone,” Dex says.
“Well,” I announce, pushing my chair back and standing up. Rock quickly stands and helps, wrapping his arm around me so I can lean into him. “This has been fun.” I cast a glance at Ravage. “And disturbing.” I stare up at Rock. “But maybe we can take some of that cake home.”
“Oooh!” The guys make all sorts of horny cat noises at us, which we both ignore.
The slow smile that spreads over Rock’s face warms me from head to toes. He leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Let’s go.”