Chapter 8

Madison

The smell of hot dogs and hamburgers on the grills across the park that spread around the square and off toward the lake in the center of town wafted all around, reminding me that I had failed to locate any lunch that day.

“Want something?” Alex asked.

I nodded, and we walked toward one of the stands where a church group was making and selling hamburgers. Alex bought us each one, and we carried them to a bench at the edge of the lake, taking a seat there and enjoying our dinner together.

“It’s sort of like old times, isn’t it?” He asked as he took a bite out of the hamburger.

I nodded as I reached to wipe some mustard from his face. “Exactly like old times.”

“I think you are prettier though.”

I shot him a look. “So I wasn’t pretty enough then?”

He put an arm around me and pulled me close. “You were fine as hell then, and you still are, but there’s something about the past ten years that has done a lot for you. I didn’t think it was possible.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I said as I caught him staring at me. “You got a little fatter though.”

“Hey!” I laughed, and Alex reached over and gave me a slap on the ass. “You know I hate that!”

“You called me fat! I’ll have you know it is mostly muscle. I’ve done a lot of working out since you last saw me.”

“I noticed. You’re definitely not the scrawny boy I knew in high school.”

He shook his head dejectedly. “You are sure full of insults tonight.”

I grinned and scooted closer to him. It did feel like we had slipped into something like what we used to have. I wasn’t sure what to make of the feeling growing inside me. It was as if I had been transported back through time and we were picking up where we left off. But I knew it wasn’t that simple, and I had a feeling that Alex could pick up on that too.

“I was thinking about your dad’s place as I was driving into town.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “What it might take to get it back. I don’t know. Just a thought I was having. And I kind of wondered what he would think if he knew we were together.”

I tilted my head at him quizzically. “Are we together?”

“Do you want us to be?”

“I asked first.”

“Fair enough.” He was quiet for a moment, and I almost forgot that I was waiting for an answer. Turning to face the crowds around the lake I was lost in everything that was happening around us, wondering what our lives would have been like if we had never parted.

“I’ve missed you,” he said simply, after a few moments. “I’ve missed you every single day. I’m not going to make up some bullshit and say that I never stopped thinking about you or that there was no one else. That would be a lie. There have been other people, but as far as I’m concerned none of them were of any consequence. Of course, I slept with other women and even dated a few of them over the years.” He looked at me seriously now. “This is going to sound corny, but none of them ever really held a candle to you.”

I swallowed hard and looked back out at the lake. It was a lot to confront all at once. I wanted to be honest with Alex and tell him how I felt, but all of it made me feel so vulnerable. The thing that kept rushing back to my mind was how I felt in those first few weeks and months without him. It had been the worst kind of heartbreak, something I never wanted to go through again. I knew he had the power to make me feel that way and the thought of subjecting myself to it again was more than I could bear. Not when my father was this ill. Not when I didn’t know where things were going to be in six months time.

“I’d like it to be something, but you know…it’s been a long time. We’re different people. I wish we could pick up and start again right from where we left off, but I’m not sure if that’s healthy or even possible. I think we’ve got to acknowledge that we’re different than we were before.”

Alex nodded. “Okay then. I would like to get to know the woman you’ve become if you’re open to that.”

I smiled at him. “I could work with that.”

“Tell me about college. How did you decide on being a vet?”

I told him about the English courses I had taken my first year and how much I had enjoyed them, but that I decided I wanted to do something to make more money, leaving out any talk of my father and the debts he had. I told him about my experiences living in the dorms and then moving out to live in a house with friends. Parties and dating and all the things that went along with college life. The beginning of vet school that saw me off to another town entirely.

“Lucy and I briefly lived together again, but without our mom around to referee us it was a little difficult. You remember how much we used to fight? It turns out it wasn’t much different when we were fighting over who needed to do the dishes or some laundry or anything else involved in managing a household.”

Alex chuckled. “I do remember a few skirmishes here and there.”

I rolled my eyes. “So anyway, I got an internship and finished up all my requirements. I had been practicing at an office in Louisville for a little while, but I wasn’t getting the equine experience that I really wanted. When I heard about things opening up back here, I thought it would be a good move to make.”

Simple enough. It explained me coming back here without having to get into all the details about my dad’s health. It just wasn’t something I wanted to involve Alex in at the moment. I didn’t know what was going to become of us and inviting him into that part of my life seemed like a step too far.

We settled in for the fireworks and watched the display there with the rest of the town before heading down to the roadhouse to catch up with Lorna and her latest boyfriend, Billy, a guy we had gone to school with but was a few years older than us.

“I’ve got to be honest with you, I don’t spend much time around this place,” Alex said as we made our way in. “The element it attracts seems to be a little bit shady, and I’m not really into that.”

“Would you rather we leave?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No, I’ll keep a sharp eye though. There’s always someone trying to start a fight around here, and I don’t want to get you in the middle of anything.”

The place was your stereotypical roadhouse bar with all the personalities you’d imagine it to be filled with. He was right, it wasn’t my type of place either, but it was nice to be out for a change and amongst the living.

We took a seat in the corner but within view of the door. Lorna came over and joined us, beers in hand, giving us each one.

“Billy is at the bar. I don’t know what that’s all about. He had a bet with someone over something ridiculous, and I think he’s arguing with him about some money owed or something.” She rolled her eyes and waved a hand in the air. “I never know with him.”

“Why are you with him?” Alex said out of the blue and over the din of the bar.

Lorna shot me a look and then looked back at Alex. “You’re awful ballsy to be asking a question like that.”

Alex frowned and shook his head. “That guy is no good, Lorna. You knew it when we were in school, and he hasn’t changed a bit. I mean, he might have gotten worse, and I think he’s developed a drinking problem, but he’s certainly no better than he was.”

“You might want to keep your man in check, Maddy.”

I could tell by her language that she had already had a few. Now I was just waiting for Billy to come over and continue whatever he had started at the bar. I was already regretting deciding to come here.

It didn’t take long to kick off.

“Hey, asshole!” Billy shouted with a laugh as he came to join us at the table. “I don’t ever see you around here anymore.” He looked over at me. “Guess you caught a little tail though. That’s all right, I understand. You’re done chasing that pussy now that you found some. I feel ya.”

Billy smacked Lorna on the ass and grabbed her firmly.

“Billy now’s probably not the time,” Lorna said, starting to push him away a little.

“What the hell do you mean? You’re always ready for it.”

He pulled my friend over by the belt loop on her jeans and tried to force his pickled tongue down her throat.

Alex was on his feet before I knew what had happened.

“Billy, I don’t think Lorna wants you to touch her. You need to respect what she says, or we’ll take it outside.”

“Fuck no we won’t. You don’t get to tell me how to treat my woman.”

I looked at Lorna, hardly believing that my friend was putting up with the crap from this drunk who had nothing to offer her.

“Lorna, come on,” I said, standing to leave.

“No one is going anywhere with my girl!” Billy shouted and started to slam a beer bottle down on the table. So he was the one who was trying to start prison fights in the bar.

Alex had his arm before he could make contact with the table and he pushed Billy back against the bar.

“Not tonight, you fucking shit head.”

Alex swung and made contact, knocking Billy to the floor. Billy stumbled to get up, and Alex hit him again and again, far too many times. I screamed for him to stop while I held Lorna back. She was a wildcat, and she was ready to fight the man attacking her boyfriend. Ten seconds in and it had already gone on too long. Finally, Alex let up and turned to leave the bar, walking out without me. I left Lorna to tend to her broken boyfriend and chased Alex outside.

“What the hell was that?” I yelled at him when we reached his truck.

“What do you mean? That asshole needed a beating.”

I pushed against his chest. “They are going to call the cops, and you are going to end up with an assault charge.” I stamped my foot. “Seriously, this was what I was worried about. This is the same kind of shit you were pulling when we were in high school. I knew that you liked to get into fights, but I thought you were over it by now. Clearly, you’re not.”

Alex followed me around to the passenger side of his truck. “You seriously think that wasn’t a fight worth having?”

“I get it that you think you need to defend a woman’s honor, and no, I do not think that Lorna needs to be with that creep, but it’s her choice. And you leaving the guy bloody on the floor of the bar is no way to take care of things.”

“So what the fuck is this?”

I threw my hands in the air and got into the truck, slamming the door behind me. Alex came around and got into the driver’s side.

“Take me back into town. We’re done.”

“What do you mean, ‘we’re done’? We hadn’t even started!”

I shrugged and looked away from him. “Alex, I’ve got too much going on. I don’t have time for someone who hasn’t advanced beyond bar fights. This is it. It’s not happening. I don’t care what we said. If this is the way you choose to spend your nights, this is not going to work with us.”

He looked at me and shook his head. Starting the truck, he drove me back into town in silence. Leaving me at the apartment, I watched him drive away, fairly certain that we were done for good.