-2-

 

Ginny hadn’t seen Ash since they’d arrived at Spook’s place. The moment they’d stepped out of the helicopter, Ash had dumped their luggage and made a beeline towards Xane. He was doing too much—he was still as weak as a day old kitten—but there was no telling him. She’d tried back at the hospital, and caught the sharp end of his tongue as a result. There’d been a pack of fans waiting for him when he’d been released, and he’d insisted on stopping to say hello to every blinkin’ one of them. No one could fault his generosity, and those ladies and gents were now lifelong Black Halo fans, but the big dope needed to accept there were limitations to what it was reasonable for one human to do. The harm Iain Willows had done him remained significant, and whether Ash accepted it or not, he was still some way off from being healed.

The room Spook had assigned them was half guest room and half snuggly retreat. It was full of books on bleached wooden shelves, and had a large window on the left that overlooked the woodland. The sleeping arrangements weren’t quite to her tastes: one metal framed daybed pushed against the wall beneath the shelves and the other a sort of cushioned room divider. Call her a traditionalist, but she’d been hoping for a standard double that she and Ash could cuddle up together in. If she’d been in any doubt about what Ash meant to her, then the last three weeks had absolutely clarified that.

He was her world. Her soulmate, if such a thing existed.

It existed.

Their fates were entwined.

That had meant some soul searching on her part, and the prospect of facing up to a heap of shit she thought she’d left behind. In actual fact, all she’d done was shovel it onto a compost heap to rot away of its own accord. Sadly, it wasn’t the sort of shit that was biodegradable. Sooner or later, she was going to have to tell Ash about it, but not yet. He had enough on his plate. His focus had to be on healing. They could hash out the other stuff in the future.

Ginny eyed the separate beds again. Yeah, so maybe they weren’t such a bad idea. They could keep things on the burn low until they’d had a chance to properly talk, and he was back to normal. It’d be a shame not to be able to snuggle up to him at night, but maybe it would paint her in a better light when all the stuff did come out.

Or maybe it wouldn’t make any difference at all.

For the umpteenth time since arriving, Ginny checked her phone. One whole bar—she’d have to figure out some other location from which she could make private calls. The signal in the en suite proved non-existent. What it did have was a shelf. Ginny unpacked Ash’s medication onto it, making sure she turned all the bottles outwards so that he could see the correct doses. He really needed one of those pill boxes so he didn’t end up forgetting to take something.

Once the medication was organised, Ginny unpacked the rest of their bags, and then left the guest room in order to poke her nose around the house. She’d always imagined rock stars living in huge mansions overlooking tropical sea views. Spook’s place perched on a tiny island overlooking a grey lake, and there weren’t any palm trees, only huge conifers. She bumped into Dani on the veranda that overlooked the lawn.

“Ginny, I didn’t realise you’d arrived.” Her flatmate squealed and squeezed her almost in two with a hug. “When did you get here? Is Ash with you?”

“Not so long ago. Band management arranged a chopper. I’m surprised you didn’t hear it.”

“So where is he? Is he well?”

“Doing okay. He’s gone off with Xane somewhere.”

“Oh!” She patted the top of Ginny’s hand, which she was still holding onto. “He’s with Xane. Well that’s good news that he’s up to hanging out. Shall we grab some drinks and catch up?”

Dani bustled them inside towards the kitchen. “Hot chocolate okay?”

“I’d prefer a Long Island Iced Tea.”

Her friend raised her hands. “I don’t know how to make that, or if Spook even has the ingredients.”

“I guess chocolate will do.”

They settled on one of the big squishy white sofas in the central lounge.

“Things okay between you, Xane and Luthor?”

“’Course,” her friend mumbled, gaze fastened upon her drink. “We’ve not actually seen much of Luthor. He’s been off drumming for Denna Rädsla.”

Hm, it sounded like things remained uneasy. How Dani, the biggest prude on the planet, had come to be dating a recovering sex addict with decidedly fluid gender preferences, Ginny would never figure out. One thing she did know was that Xane was never going to be satisfied with a typical heterosexual relationship, which meant her friend was going to have to adapt or weather a whole lot of heartache.

“You and Ash?”

“Hunky dory. I don’t suppose you know where they’ve gone.”

“The recording studio,” Dani replied brightly. “Xane took his lyrics book with him. He’s super keen to get started on the new album. He’s been playing me some of the riffs. They’re amazing. This album is going to be their best yet. The songs are just… Ginny, they’re awesome!” Her entire being seemed to light up with excitement.

Ginny folded her arms, not the least bit infected by her glee. “I thought the purpose of coming here was to relax and recuperate, not for them to work.” Ash needed rest if he was ever going to be well enough to tour again, and while she didn’t pretend to know a whole lot about recording music, she knew enough to realise it involved actual work.

“Gin, they were never going to sit around and do nothing for six months.”

“Maybe not six months, but Ash was only discharged a few hours ago.”

“They’re probably just taking a look around for when they are ready to record, yeah?”

“Maybe.” That had better be the case. But then why did Xane need his lyrics book? Dammit, if there was any suggestion they were planning on diving straight into recording, then she’d—she’d what? Order Ash to leave? The band was his world. He’d never up sticks on them. Buggering hell, couldn’t they at least give him a week or two off?

“They’re just going to be working on a demo version here, right?” She was determined to find the bright side of all this. Bands at this level didn’t do it all in their garden sheds. They employed musical gurus, producers, and technicians, and they checked into places like Metropolis, Rockfield, or RAK, or even friggin’ Abbey Road.

Dani shrugged. “It’s not the impression Xane gave. Look,” she patted Ginny’s knee. “I’m sure it’ll be all right. Spook will look out for Ash, even if the others don’t.”

Spook. Yeah, Spook would do that.

Her friend pulled up her knees before her. She was wearing a pretty summer dress and a ridiculously oversized pair of woollen socks. Evidently there was more to the choice of beverage for this meeting than Ginny had initially supposed. Dani only put on those socks when she was worrying about something, and that something was unlikely to be Ash.

“How are things really between you, Xane and Luthor?”

“I just said. We’re fine.”

She’d have been more convincing if her words hadn’t come out as a squeak, and she hadn’t then buried her nose in her mug again to avoid eye contact.

“Getting used to watching them shag yet?”

It was cruel to tease, but sometimes she couldn’t help it.

“Ginny…” Dani’s head came right back up and she glared at her, clearly outraged. “You know, I’m not actually interested in watching them make out. Only a pervert… I mean, why would I be?”

“Why wouldn’t you be? Two hot blooded men, sounds sexy as hell.”

Dani’s gulp was audible.

“You’re a strange woman, Saint. I swear if it wasn’t that I know you’re keeping a sex god happy, I’d have to conclude that the Bitches of St. Agatha scourged you of your libido.”

“But am I?” her friend sighed doubtfully. She took another slurp of hot chocolate. “I mean, I try to.”

“Come off it, babe. Why are you even doubting? We’ve all heard your orgasmic screams, and the Luthor thing isn’t anything to do with him being unhappy with you.”

Ginny wasn’t sure Dani heard the last part. Her friend had turned magenta, and was mouthing, “Everyone’s heard,” like a mantra. “I think I’m going to die. I need the floor to swallow me up.” She paled dramatically, enough to stop the laughter bubbling in Ginny’s throat.

“Quit with the theatrics. At least you’re getting some. My lady bits are in danger of shrivelling up. There hasn’t been a lot of opportunity at the hospital.” Make that zero opportunities. The lack of privacy and Ash’s health had rather put a damper on their sex life.

“But that’ll change now he’s out.” Dani, having obviously realised what she’d just said, clamped her hands over her mouth.

“I can but live in hope.” Ginny’s words trailed off as a black-wearing blur sped past the side of the house. “Ash?” She stood with the intention of following him, only for Spook to come in from the garden and get in her way.

“Stay in,” he said.

“What happened? Something happened, didn’t it? I think you’d better tell me.”

Spook raised his right hand between them, with his fingers twisted into an arthritic claw.

“You had him play. What the fuck were you thinking? It’s way too soon for that.”

“Ash didn’t seem to think so. Nobody forced him to pick up an instrument.”

“I need to go to him.”

“Ginny, it might be better if you gave him a moment.” He clasped hold of her arm, preventing her from making a pursuit.

Would it? She worried her thumbnail between her teeth.

“In the interests of openness, it wasn’t just his hand he had problems with.”

What else? Oh, no, not his speech again. That issue had resolved itself after a couple of sessions with a speech therapist. He must have been incredibly upset for that to re-emerge. “I need to go to him.”

Spook refused to let her go. “Let him calm down on his own a moment. Then go and see if he needs you.”

He needed her. When he was wild and worked up like this, the best thing to do was offer him reassurances and love. It wasn’t necessary to say that everything would work out. She didn’t like to make promises she couldn’t keep. Just letting him know there was someone around who loved him was enough. For some unfathomable reason, Ash never really believed those around him cared for him.

“There’s no point in rushing in and getting into a row for no reason,” Dani weighed in. “Come and sit back down with me for a bit longer.”

They didn’t seem to be giving her much choice. Fine, she’d sit on her hands for a while and watch the clock.

Spook didn’t linger for long before he announced he was turning in and made his way upstairs. Only a handful of minutes after that, Xane arrived seeking company. Very specific company.

“Xane. Oh, my, God!” Dani squealed, her eyes widening to the size of saucers, when she saw him. “You can’t come in here like that. It’s obscene.”

Coming was clearly foremost in his thoughts. Sure, he was fully dressed in ubiquitous black, but his T-shirt was clingy and the wood he was sporting. Sweet baby Jesus! That thing was huge. Most disturbingly, her lady bits wept at the sight of it. Okay, that confirmed it. It had been way too long since she’d had sex.

“Take him to bed, Dani, before I’m tempted to take a bite.”

“Ginny!” her friend screeched. She hopped up off the sofa and grabbed hold of Xane’s hand.

“Sorry, but it’s right there and I know for a fact he knows what to do with it, and I haven’t had a shag in weeks.” Xane’s tool was near prodding her in the face.

Dani tugged on his hand, and started dragging him from the room.

Result! Now she could do what she’d wanted to do twenty minutes ago.

“Watch Ash doesn’t hear you talking like that,” Xane laughed.

“He knows I’m all bluster, and in any case from what I’ve heard, he’s already way ahead of me.”

One of the things that had rolled off Ash’s tongue when he’d been rambling during the first few days in hospital was a lot of garbled emotions about Xane. There were wounds there that had barely scabbed over. She hadn’t deliberately meant to pick at them. She hadn’t even had a chance to properly talk to Ash about them. There was something of a list of things they hadn’t talked about.

Xane shrugged. Dani, on the other hand, turned ashen.

“You’ve done more than just kiss him.” She stared open-mouthed at her boyfriend.

“Babe, it’s hardly a revelation.” He patted her on the arse, to hurry her along towards their bedroom while he lingered a moment, a thoughtful pucker narrowing his face. “I don’t know what you think you know, but he’s never gone down on me. It was the other way around.”

“You blew him?”

Xane inclined his head a fraction. “One time. We’ve all done things that were ill considered.”

Wasn’t there a world of truth in that statement.

“The past is the past.”

If only that were genuinely the case, but as she was learning, things had a way of rearing their ugly heads. Her phone vibrated inside her pocket.

She waited until Xane had gone before looking at it.

 

Change of plan? I was expecting your call today.

 

No, there was no change of plan. She was just wary of sticking her head above the ramparts after remaining in the shadows so long. So, sure, maybe she was dithering a bit. Tomorrow, she’d definitely take the next step, but Ash was her priority now.

Danger dude was flat out on his back on the day bed in their room. The soft whisper of his breathing persuaded her that he was genuinely asleep. She’d spent enough hours by his bedside to know when he was faking it in order to win some peace.

Ash, there’s something I need to tell you.

How many times now had she begun this conversation in her head?

I know I should have told you sooner, but I never imagined it would become so serious between us so fast.

That was a lie. She’d known after the very first night they’d spent together things were going to get complicated between them. Perhaps not this complicated this fast, but then their whole relationship had caught them both off guard.

Ash was a rock star with a reputation, and she a groupie. They weren’t supposed to forge the sort of relationship that ended with a wedding and domestic bliss, only to party hard, shag a lot, until one day it was over. The short term leaseholds they’d taken out on one another’s affections would have ended and that would be it.

Reality wasn’t even remotely like that. They’d signed a lifetime contract the night they met.

Shit! He was going to hate her when he found out.

Hate her, and quite possibly leave her.

She should have told him right at the beginning. The moment it became more than a one night stand, but it’d been kind of difficult to discuss serious topics when their relationship had revolved around secret rendezvous and midnight booty calls.

“I can’t lose you, Ash.”

The threatening sting of tears set her blinking desperately. Ginny turned away from his bedside and pattered over to the window, blindly feeling her way past the furniture. The sun had finally disappeared over the horizon, but the night sky was clear, and hundreds of stars glittered overhead.

The scent of salt and pine wafted in through an open sash. Although the smell was soothing, she didn’t want to end up as a picnic for the night time bugs, which meant leveraging herself up on the windowsill in order to reach the lock.

The window closed with a thump.

“Ginny, is that you?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Wasn’t asleep.”

He had been, but she didn’t quibble. She climbed down from her perch and watched Ash’s fuzzy double rise and pad towards her in the glass. He was stripped down to a pair of skimpy boxer briefs.

Ash was skinnier than when they’d first met, but in the gloom that meant the shadows loved him, emphasising his muscle tone, and making his whole abdomen seriously lickworthy. His little snake tattoo slithered above the top of his shorts. It made her smile, imagining tracing its length with her tongue, and getting him itching for her to venture lower.

His musky scent arrived a second before he slid his arms around her from behind, and he nuzzled against the side of her neck.

“Hey, pretty lady.”

“Hey. How are you feeling? Better after your nap?”

“Hmm.” His hands moved up from where they’d settled around her waist and encompassed her breasts. “What I’m feeling is really good. No bra, right?”

Ginny’s teeth dug into the groove she’d already made in her lower lip, as she stifled the urge to groan when he caught her nipples and pinched.

“Yeah, I know. It’s been too long for us both.” His breath was warm against her neck. The tug of his lips against her skin sent streamers of lust shooting down to her pussy. She might fight it, but she was weak to resist him. Ash had super powers when it came to knowing exactly which touch would drive her wild, and in fact, where to touch her.

He skirted one hand down from her breast to just above her knee, and then dragged it up again, lifting her skirt and tickling the inside of her thigh.

“You’re still supposed to be taking things easy,” she whispered.

Ash ignored her words, and ran a fingertip along the seam of her panties. She was already dripping wet, and tingling from the anticipation of his touch, when his other hand left her breast and came upwards so it sat splayed across the front of her throat. His little finger circled upward to dust across her lips.

“Ash, you need to recuperate your strength.”

“Uh-huh.” His hot breath tickled her ear. “The best way to do that is with a work out.”

The best way to do that was not to exert himself. “You’re not supposed to do anything strenuous, remember?”

“I remember. Gentle, light exercise only, like finger twiddling and pilates.” He inhaled deeply and let the breath out slowly, while at the same time he slipped two fingers under the lacy edge of her knickers. “No acrobatics or high impact aerobics.” His digits fluttered against her intimate piercing, instantly making her clit swell. “I guess we’ll have to make this all tantric and subtle, except it’s been a while, so I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to hold out for you. I might just embarrass myself and come the moment I get inside you.”

She plumped at the very thought of it, knowing his reputation for being able to go all night. Among the groupies that followed the band about, his stamina was legendary.

“Ash,” she twisted around and in so doing managed to disentangle herself from his embrace. “Maybe it’s too soon. Your health, it’s important.”

“Seriously?” He cocked up a brow. “It was bad enough being banned from touching you while in hospital. Don’t enact sanctions now that I’m free.”

“I’m thinking of you. You’ve already pushed yourself today. Spook told me what happened.”

“Did he?” Ash thumped the windowsill, making her jump. He sucked in a juddery breath. “What did he say? Did he let you know that I’m a washed up nobody who can’t play guitar anymore?”

“No. Nobody thinks that about you.”

“They should. It’s the truth.”

“He just said you’d had trouble with your hand.”

“Which is a polite way of saying I’m fucked. Iain’s buggered me, Ginny. I’m not fit for anything.”

“Hey,” she reached out to him and squeezed his upper arm. “You’ll get better.”

Ash shook her off and paced over to the wall. “Don’t say that. You don’t know. It could be that this is the new reality.” He turned, hands raised and his face scrunched with anger. “Maybe I won’t ever be able to play guitar again.”

All she could do was support him. Maybe that was reality and maybe it wasn’t. Ginny cut the distance between them and reached up to cup his face. Ash nuzzled against her hand. “We’ll get through this Ash. We will. I have faith even if you don’t.”

“Do you?” He kissed the centre of her palm. “Then for God’s sakes allow me to live a little.” He captured her in his arms again, trapping her between his body and the window ledge. “Let me prove to myself there are at least a few things I’m still good at.”

Ginny’s phone buzzed again inside her pocket. She clamped a hand over it. The timing on everything was shot to pieces today.

“Ginny, I’m not made of fucking glass.”

“I know. I know that,” she said distractedly. She slipped free of his hold again and danced away from him on the tips of her toes. “Can you just give me a moment? There’s something I need to do.”

Ash’s mouth dropped open. “It’s not that time of the month is it?” He looked positively aghast at the possibility.

“It’s not. No.” Her tongue swept anxiously across her lips. She held up her phone. “There’s a message I need to send. It won’t take a minute.”

“A message,” he called after her. “You need to send a message? I’m finally out of hospital after a three week nightmare and you have to send a message. What’s up, is the sky falling in? Did someone on the internet post a joke?”

Despite his obvious irritation she dashed straight out the door. Even outside, the signal wasn’t great, but she managed to secure two bars by sitting on the log bench outside the boot room, and resting the phone on her leg. Yes, she was an idiot. Yes, she should have attended to this before now, but it wasn’t easy delving into a past life you’d prefer to leave buried, and nor had it been easy sitting by his bedside day in day out for the best part of a month. Also, while she knew this was the right decision, that didn’t make it an easy one.

It took a couple of minutes to compose the message, and another few to read it over a time or two.

The damn thing felt like a nuclear detonation code.

“Ginny?” Ash came striding out of the house, still dressed in nothing but his briefs. Though he’d co-opted a pair of boots to protect his feet from the gravel, he hadn’t bothered to lace them.

“By all means send your message, but I’ve something in need of urgent attention too.” He positioned himself right before her and peeled down the front of his shorts. Yeah, admittedly, his cock did look painfully in need of soothing, but he could cut the pissy attitude. So what if the moonlight favoured him, and there was a spark in his baby blues that she wanted to ignite. She hated being bossed around and bullied. She didn’t take this sort of shit from anybody anymore.

“You do realise I’m not one of your groupies, right?”

She wrapped her hand around his cock and squeezed him tight.

“Gin,” he sang.

“What? Wasn’t that what you were looking for? I said I was coming back. I said I’d only be a minute.”

“You’ve been considerably more than that. What’s so flippin’ important anyway that it couldn’t wait?”

Yeah, she could level that same accusation at him. If he needed to come that badly, then maybe he ought to go and take care of it himself, instead of virtually slapping her in the face with it. Only then she saw the clawed shape of his fist, and the roar in her veins quietened a bit. They loved one another, and she didn’t want to get into a row over this and risk blurting something that needed to be revealed in a calm, careful fashion.

“Send your fucking message, eh?”

Yeah… yeah, she was going to.

“Ginny, please. I’m sorry I’m being pissy, but I can’t stomach any bullshit right now.”

“All right.” She tapped her finger on the send envelope, and it was done, the message zapped into the ether. There was no going back. The rocket was launched. Her declaration made.

She cringed inwardly, anticipating retaliation, but missiles didn’t rain down from the sky, nor did the nearby conifers burst into flames.

“You done?” he asked.

Yeah, she was done.

“Does that mean you’re good to blow me now?”

If he hadn’t winked at her and given her such a goofy grin, she might have hit him in the pods.

“Pwweeze, Ginny. Please love me.”

“Hm,” she scoffed. “It isn’t love you’re after.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Nope.” She slapped her hands upon either side of his firm butt. “Just some dirty nasty stuff.”

“Do you need me to beg? ’Cause I will.”

Ginny contemplated him, looking up the length of his body. The fall of his hair masked most of his expression, but the glitter of his eyes was unmistakable. “You do realise this is a very public place. Any one of your band mates could walk past.”

“Let ’em.”

“And what if there are spy drones?”

“Spy drones,” he repeated sceptically.

“Do you really want your naked arse on international TV?”

Ash released the band holding her hair up in a messy knot, so that her dark tresses spilled around her shoulders. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” He shuffled forward a bit, so that his hard-on was only an inch shy of her face. He did smell good, of salt and musk and his unique spice. Maybe showing him a little glimpse of heaven would help remind him why it was so good to be alive.

“Ask me nicely.”

“Pretty, pretty, please, Ginny.”

“Pretty, pretty, please what? You’d better give me explicit instructions.”

“Take your top off so I can look at your tits while we do this?”

Yeah, that wasn’t quite what she meant, but she couldn’t help grinning at his brazen cheek. Sod it. Why pretend this wasn’t what she wanted too? Ginny lifted her dress over her head and dropped it on the ground beside them. “That better?”

His grin broadened so that it ate up half his face. “Fuck, you’re beautiful. I am one lucky, lucky bastard.” He reached out and palmed her breasts until her nipples were standing proud. She wasn’t particularly blessed in that department, but Ash had never seemed to mind that fact. “So perkily perfect.”

Okay, so he was no poet, and he didn’t have Xane’s lyricism, but he made up for that in honesty. There wasn’t a thing that came out of his mouth that didn’t reflect exactly what he felt. “You’re the sexiest fucking nymph alive.”

“Don’t think I don’t know you’re just buttering me up.”

“Butter. No, I know that’s off limits. Bottom sex makes Ginny glower.”

Damn right. She possessed too many bad memories associated with that act. Although if Ash ever did it, he’d probably find a way to make it sweet. The thought left her curiously squirmy.

“Gin, are you going to make me beg?” he gasped, his voice all low and husky, like his vocal cords were being constricted. “I mean, I will. I’ll totally get down on my knees if that’s what it’ll take. I’ll prostate myself flat.”

“No, Chief,” she hushed him. “I’m not going to make you beg. I’m gonna make you come.”

She pushed her hair away from her face, and leaned into him, grazing his lower abs with her lips to begin. Ash’s cock bucked its eager approval.

“Wait your turn,” she said to it. There were a couple of other places she intended to say hello to first. Like this bit here, and the crease at the top of his thigh, and that intriguing groove between his balls. He shivered over each touch, and his hands clasped and unclasped, first upon thin air, and then around the strands of her hair as he held onto her head.

Ginny landed a kiss mid-way down his shaft, followed by another an inch higher, then one an inch higher than that. He was weeping copiously when she finally took him in her mouth. The taste of him hit her tongue, so familiar and damned inflammatory.

Blowing him, hell yeah! She’d give him everything he needed, and more besides.

So, separate beds… That was a stupid idea. She wanted to wrap herself around him so that their limbs were knotted together and it was hard to tell where each of them began and ended.

It turned out that Ash wasn’t the only one in this relationship who needed reassuring that the bond between them was as strong as ever.