CHAPTER TWELVE - SADIE
Just fuck him. I watch Thomas walk out of the bathroom, irritated for being talked to like that and angry for putting myself in this position in the first place.
A bolt of electricity shoots through my head, making my vision flash red. “What the fuck?” I mumble, doubling over from the pain.
But then it’s gone. Just as quick as it came.
What the hell was that?
I lean against the tile wall and soak up the steam. The shower water is spraying down on my legs, beckoning me into the stream of heat. I want to go home. But sadly, I don’t know where home is. I don’t even know if the place I came from could even be called home. I just don’t understand what’s happening.
I had a life. I’m pretty sure of it. I have a lingering feeling that my world was… was… what?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I turn the water off and grab a towel, wrap it around my body, then lean over the vanity and wipe a circle of steam from the mirror.
“Who are you?” I ask the girl staring back.
She has olive-colored skin, dark hair, amber eyes—darkened by the hair framing my face—and she looks sad.
Do I feel sad?
I’m not sure. It’s hard to put a label on my emotions right now. I just know I don’t want to be here. I don’t think I want to know this man.
But I don’t want to be alone, either.
I want whatever it was I had.
It’s stupid, I understand that. It’s stupid because I don’t even know what I had. But this… this place, this guy, this situation. It all feels wrong.
I sigh, then turn away from the stranger in the mirror and grab some clothes out of the bags and start pulling tags off things.
It’s just clothes, but I don’t want to wear them.
And yet I have to. I have no choice unless I want to put that stupid uniform back on. At least that’s something I came with.
They’re not mine either, though. Clearly, I am not Phil.
I allow myself to smile at that because it’s all I can do.
Another sharp pain shoots though my head, but this time it’s so severe, I double over and sink to my knees.
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie…
There’s a voice in my mind, but it’s not my voice.
My vision flashes. Like static across a screen. A bolt of electricity that comes with crackling sound. I feel like a receiver trying to accept a transmission.
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie…
“What?” I yell. “Who are you?”
But there’s no answer. Just static.
Transmission failed.
The word blips across my eyes, but disappears so fast, I’m not sure if it was real, or I made it up.
“What’s going on?”
I look up to find Thomas in the doorway.
“I’m leaving,” I say. “I’m leaving here. I don’t care if I have to walk back to the city, I’m not staying here with you.”
“Why? You don’t like the consequences of disobedience during sex?” He laughs.
“You did something to me,” I say, sucking in a breath of air as another spark of electricity shoots through my brain. “With your stupid mind blast.” I lean over again, staring at the tiles on the floor, as a wave of nausea cramps my stomach.
“It’s not my fault,” he says. “I didn’t shoot me with a drug that counteracted all my careful planning. I didn’t put myself in that insane asylum. I didn’t tell Yasmine to use that drug that unleashed my mind. And I didn’t fucking send you to that hospital, Sadie. None of this is my fucking fault.”
“No,” I whisper, a little relieved that the nausea is subsiding. “I guess not.” I stand up, clutching the towel to my body. “You don’t seem like the kind of guy who takes much personal responsibility.”
He laughs. More of a huff, actually. “Why should I? Why should I be the one responsible for this fucked-up world? I didn’t start that school. I didn’t experiment on my own body. All I’ve ever done is deal, Sadie. I deal with their actions, that’s all. If anyone is innocent in this goddamned city, it’s me.”
He points to his chest to emphasize his convictions.
“If you say so,” I add.
“I do say so. I’m not Lincoln, looking to turn myself into a supervillain. I’m not Case, trying to pretend nothing’s happening. I’m the only one who faces reality. I’m the only one who took the necessary steps to rein in the damage they did. I’m the only thing standing between good and evil right now.”
It’s my turn to laugh. “You’re insane. That’s why you were in that asylum. You’re crazier than all of them.”
He shrugs. “If what I’m doing is insane, then what level of crazy would you like to label your handlers? Don’t you realize what you are?”
“You don’t know anything about me,” I snap.
“I know you showed up on someone’s command. I know my mind blast wiped your programming. And I know how to set things right.”
“With revenge?” I ask, sneering the word. “That’s what you call setting things right?”
“Why not revenge? Why not take them all down and get even in the process? You should want that too. Which is why we need to stay together. We could do it together, Sadie.”
“Is that really what you think?” I ask, shaking my head. “That your… plan is what will set things right? I highly doubt that.”
“You don’t even know the plan.”
“I don’t need to know the plan. I might not know a lot right now, but I know evil when I see it. You’ve got big problems, Thomas.”
He smiles. It sends a shiver up my spine. And then the electric shock is back. Only this time it’s so painful, I grab my head and stumble backwards, trip over the rug and fall on my ass.
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie…
“What do you want?” I yell.
Thomas is talking, but I can’t hear him. I hear nothing but, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie…
“I’m here, goddammit! Tell me what you want!”
His hand grips my upper arm and brings me to my feet. “Who are you talking to?” he says, shaking me with enough force, my mind feels like it’s slipping. “Who the fuck are you talking to?”
I close my eyes, trying to will the pain away. The flash of light flickers across my vision again.
“Go away!” I scream.
Thomas is pulling me out of the bathroom. He shoves me towards the couch and I fall against the cushions.
Then it stops. The pain, the flashes of light, the sickening hum of white noise static.
Find us, the voice says. Clear as fucking day. Find us, Sadie. We’re waiting for you.
“How?” I yell. “How do I find you? How do I get out of this—”
The sharp prick of a needle stops my screams.
My eyes fly open and see Thomas standing over me, syringe delivering more drugs into my neck.
He’s not smiling when his mouth moves. But his words are slow. Warped. Eerily deep and hypnotic. “Sleeeeeeeeep.”
It’s not a shiver or a tremble. It’s not a quiver, or a quake, or a shudder. That’s not what my body is doing.
I am convulsing.
I am cold.
I am tied down.
I am blind.
I am naked.
My legs are open and his hands are right there. Caressing my lower abdomen. Slipping right between my legs to play with the fleshy part of my pussy that makes me whine and try to draw my legs up.
This is not pretending. This is not practice to get me ready. This is not an exercise.
This is execution.
“Sadie,” the dark voice says.
“What?” I ask, feeling breathless. My reply is weak.
“Did you forget who’s in charge?’
“Thomas—”
“I’m not Thomas. Do not fucking call me Thomas.”
It is Thomas. It is. “I recognize—” A sharp slap across my face cuts my words off.
“We’ve never properly met. So don’t go thinking for yourself. Not after all this time.” He chuckles a little. Right next to my ear. So I can feel his warm breath.
“I’m cold,” I say in response. “Cover me up.”
Another slap, only this time it’s my breast. “Are you in charge, Sadie?”
What the fuck is going on?
“Answer me.” He pinches my nipple and I let out a cry of pain.
“You. You. You. You,” I moan.
“Yeeeeesssss,” he says, releasing his grip. “Now listen closely.” Another sharp pinch, only this time it’s the needle. He sticks me in the neck. I wince away and he’s pinching my nipple again. “Do you want to piss me off?” he asks. “Hold still.”
The needle he is using to inject me stabs again. There is hot blood running down my neck.
“Why are you doing this?” I say through my heavy breathing.
“Because you’re mine now, Sadie. They made a mistake letting you out of that little prison they keep you in.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“What year is it, darling?”
“What?”
“Tell me. What year it is.”
“It’s… it’s…” But I have no idea. None. “I can’t remember,” I say.
“Do you know why you can’t remember?”
“Because you blasted me with that mind fuck!”
“No,” he says, withdrawing the needle from my neck. He wipes it with something scratchy. Gauze maybe. “You don’t remember because they’ve had you in training for years.”
The sizzle of static is back in my eyes. They are taped shut again, so the bright red letters are clearly outlined across my blackened blindness.
Abort! Abort! Abort!
“What the fuck?”
“What do you see, little Sadie?’
“What are you doing?”
He slips a finger inside me. I gasp, then moan. I can’t stop that moan. He’s pushing his fingers inside me. Stretching me. I start breathing faster. The air I draw in has almost no time to fulfill its purpose before I exhale. I am panting. I am panting and I do not want to think about why.
“I’m reprogramming you, Sadie.”
“Oh, God.” But my response isn’t about what he just said. It’s to what he just did. His fingers are still pressing up inside me. But they draw back, then press again. He’s fucking me. Then his thumb presses on my clit. He pushes all my buttons and I moan.
“Tell me what you seeeeeeeee….”
“‘Abort,’” I say. “It’s spelling out the word ‘abort.’”
“Goooooood,” he says. And I know he’s smiling. “I see that too. It’s flashing across the monitor.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Your commands, Sadie.” The slow, soft voice he’s been using is gone now. His words are sharp. Clipped. And angry. “They run commands through software in your head.”
“You fucking freak! You’re lying! You’re the one doing this to me! You’re the one with the drugs. You’re the one—”
Sharp, stinging slap across my face.
“Shut up and listen.” He pinches my nipple again, making me cry out. His hand leaves my pussy and covers my mouth. The other one pinches my nose closed and I panic.
“Hold still. Be silent.” He whispers this next to my ear. “And I’ll let you breathe. But if you continue to piss me off, I’ll let you pass out. But I won’t let you die, Sadie. You’re worth far too much to let you die. I’ll find very interesting ways to torture you with fear. I’ll bring you to the brink of death and then pull you back. Over, and over, and over again. So make a decision. Accept the fact that I’m in charge right now, or let me have some fun with you first.”
I go very, very still.
He lets me breathe. “See how easy that is?”
I suck in air, trying my best not to cry. But that last bit… that was some kind of line for me. He crossed it and I’m no longer in control. I start to sob, then wonder if that will piss him off more, and try to hold it in.
“Are you ready to listen, Sadie?”
I nod my head. “Yes. I’m listening.”
“Good. They have an implant in your brain. I know how this implant works, because I helped them develop it. I have one too. That’s how we get these abilities, Sadie. That’s how we have the powers we do. And if I do just the right things, if I pump you with just the right concoction… I can read your mind. We will be linked. Now,” he says, switching to matter-of-fact mode. “I can’t read most minds. And this stuff has some weird side effects. One being you can collect thoughts from dying people. It’s not a pretty side effect if you collect the wrong thoughts. Does that make sense?”
I nod in affirmation. But none of this makes any sense.
“There’s more. Things like…” He sighs. “Like corruption. Like I’m doing to you. Your mind can be hijacked. Just like mine.” He laughs. “But if you think you can hijack me the way I just did you, think again. No one has the formula for that particular chemical reaction. I made sure of that before we blew up the Prodigy School fifteen years ago. I injected Thomas with those drugs. Well”—he chuckles, as if this is funny—“I persuaded him, to put it simply.”
He is insane. He is fucking insane.
“But he went along and that’s all you need to know. He is incorruptible. I am incorruptible. I can make you incorruptible too.” More laughter. “But why would I? When I can link up to you and read your commands.”
His hand is back between my legs. Caressing me. Soothing me. I don’t want it to feel good, but I can’t help it. His touch is soft and my desire builds.
“We’re going to do this together, Sadie. Do you understand? We make a great team, you and I.”
“Thomas,” I say, breathless now, not because of the fear, but because of the way he’s still playing with my pussy.
“I’m. Not. Thomas,” he growls. His denial is animalistic. A threat. And he withdraws his hand from between my legs.
He is Thomas. How stupid does he think I am? I recognize his voice. It’s not exactly the same, but it’s him.
“OK,” I say. “I’m sorry. Just tell me what you want from me.” I don’t want him angry. I don’t want more slaps. I just want him to stop what he’s doing. Give me a chance to think about things.
“We’re a team now. Partners. You’re going to feed me information about your handlers at Prodigy and I’m going to use it to destroy them.”
“Fine,” I say, giving in. “I’ll help you. But I don’t want to be tied down. I don’t want to be blind. I’ll go along, I swear. I’ll help.”
He caresses my forehead with his hand, dragging sweat-soaked hair from my forehead. I can smell my sex on his fingers. “I know you will. Because you have no choice. I own your mind now. The drug I injected you with has you under my control. I can make you do things, Sadie. Would you like an example?”
“No,” I gasp. “I believe you.”
But his response is the jingle of his belt. The unzipping of his pants. The shuffling of a hand beneath fabric. And then the sound of a hand caressing a cock. Open your mouth prints across my field of vision.
I do open my mouth, but not for the reason he thinks. Except… the words fuck you aren’t what come out. Nothing comes out. I can’t speak. I can’t move. I can barely think, because the only thing I see is his command, blinking now, in bright letters. Flashing white, then red, then white, then red.
Suck. My. Cock.
I wait for it. I wait for him to make me do this.
But he just laughs. “See,” he says, unable to hide his amusement. “I could make you do that, Sadie. I can make you do anything I want now.”
The words stop flashing and the control is released. My world is black again.
“But I won’t. Not yet.”
I can feel his smile. My body—which had stopped convulsing—begins to shiver again.
“Would you like to see me, sweet Sadie?” he asks. “Meet me? Finally? After all this time?”
I shake my head no. I really wouldn’t.
But he peels the tape off my eyelids, pulling gently on the tissue-paper thin, sensitive skin until my blinders are off.
“Open your eyes,” he says.
I shake my head again. No, no, no. This isn’t real. I’m not here. This is a nightmare. He’s some ghost. Some distant memory. I’m not here.
The red and white letters flash across my still-blackened blindness.
Open. Your. Eyes.
I open them. His face is handsome. Slight scruff on his jaw and chin. Dark eyes flashing with mischievousness. Corners of his lips upturned in a smile. “Thomas?” I ask, unsure, but yet still very, very sure who this man is.
“No.” He laughs, shaking his head. “I’m Sullivan, sweet Sadie. But shhhhhh.” He chuckles through his whisper. “Don’t tell him about me. He doesn’t like me. If you tell him, Sadie, he will go insane!”
The last word comes out as an evil laugh. He stops. Smiles down at me. “He can’t help you anyway. When I’m in charge, I’m in charge.” He laughs again. “But the important thing now, Sadie, is that we’re a team. We can be a team. Just the three of us.”
“The three of us?” I ask, feeling sick at what he’s saying.
“You. Me. And Thomas. Do you know what they call that in comic books?” More sinister chuckling.
I shake my head. Not at his question, which makes no sense to me at all, but at… everything. No. This is not happening.
Red and white letters flash across my field of vision.
THIS. IS. HAPPENING.
“They call it a power trio. He wants to get revenge.” Thomas—Sullivan—whoever this insane freak is—waves a hand in the air like that doesn’t matter. “We can get his silly revenge. Why not? But Sadie,” he says, slipping his hand between my legs once again as he leans down to press his soft lips against mine. “We could get so much more. You and I?” he says, pointing to me, then himself. “We could rule the world.”
I should know better by now. I should know better than to take my eyes off his hands. Because another needle stabs me in the neck. This is different than the last thing he gave me. It’s the thing he uses to put me to sleep. I feel the sting in my veins. I feel it hit my heart. Thump, thump, thump, thump. And then it’s in my bloodstream.
My eyes get heavy, even as he continues to kiss me.
I might kiss him back, I’m not sure. I’d like to think I don’t, but I’m not sure.
“Don’t tell him about me, sweet Sadie. Because if you think he’s insane now…” Sullivan laughs. “Just wait until he finds out I’m back in control without his permission.”
I sit straight up when I wake. Just like last time. “Holy fucking shit!”
“Sadie?” Thomas calls from the other room.
I’m on the bed again.
Where the fuck does that freak take me when he gives me the drugs? Not the bedroom. It’s not the bedroom. I was not on a bed. I was on like… a table. Something hard.
“Sadie?” Thomas calls, sterner now.
“What?” I call back. Habit, maybe. Or just still responding to the commands his crazy alter-ego was feeding me in my… real-life nightmare.
Good God. What’s happening?
“I didn’t want to drug you but you were crazy. Talking shit about hearing voices. I think you’re going insane.”
He says it so matter-of-factly I want to laugh.
I’m the only one who faces reality. I’m the only thing standing between good and evil right now.
Does he really think that?
I need to get the fuck out of here. I mean, maybe he’s right. Maybe wherever it was I came from was a pretty dark place. But he is the insane one.
Split personality? Is that even a real thing?
“We need to come up with a plan,” Thomas says from the doorway. He’s got no shirt on and his jeans are low on his hips, showing off the cut muscles of his abdomen.
“No,” I say, swinging my legs over the bed. “I’m leaving.”
“There’s something wrong with you.”
“Something wrong with me?” I huff, mind blown.
“I think I should take you to see Sheila after all. It’s been five days already, so—”
“Five days?” What the fuck? How the hell did five days go by?
“—I don’t think they’re still looking for us. At any rate, we need to meet up with Lincoln and Case. Make sure the plan’s still on track.”
“What fucking plan? The one where we all admit we’re insane and we’re out to destroy the world?”
His face screws up. “Maybe you should rest a little longer? You’re not all here.”
Again. Mind blown. Incredulous isn’t a strong enough word to describe how I feel.
I take a deep breath, hold it in for the count of three, and let it out. “I’m going to leave now. No need to worry about me anymore. No need to drop me off somewhere.” I get up and straighten the new shirt he bought me. “And thank you for the hospitality and clothes. I appreciate it. A lot,” I add, trying to be as congenial as possible so I don’t set him off and drag that psycho alter-ego out of that fucked-up head of his.
“You can’t just… leave, Sadie. We need to see Sheila. I’m sorry, OK?”
“Sorry for what?” I ask. Picturing his hands on my body. His lips on my mouth. His grip on my mind.
“The mind blast. I didn’t realize, I guess.”
“Realize what?”
“I mean, I couldn’t know. I had no idea you’d be in the direct path of the blast. I did it out of instinct, I guess. It wasn’t conscious, not at all. So if you’re worried I’ll do it again—well.” He laughs. “I don’t even know how to do it again. I think it was just the perfect set of circumstances.”
Yeah, the perfect moment is right. The moment when his insane double personality took over and hijacked his body.
“And I’m sorry for leaving you hanging in the shower.” He laughs again, but this time it might be genuine. “I just kinda…”
I wait for the rest of that, but he shakes his head and smiles. His eyes aren’t as dark when he smiles. Not this smile, at least. “Just kinda what?”
“Like to be in control.”
Control? He’s so not in control.
“You’re cute, you know? And I’m not just saying that because I’ve been locked in a hospital for a month. You’re just… pretty. And a little too young,” he adds, shrugging. “Which I like… but probably shouldn’t. In fact, I should just stop fucking talking because I’m digging my hole deeper with every word.”
I laugh. Because he’s… different. Not that cocky asshole he was before he drugged me this last time. He’s definitely nothing like the nightmare version. He’s just a guy right now. Just a guy trying to figure shit out.
“Let me take you to Sheila, OK? I swear to God, she will hook you up to Lincoln’s diagnostic shit and come up with a plan in less than a day. She can fix it.”
He has no clue. None. If that wasn’t a nightmare. If that other him—that Sullivan guy—if he’s real and what he said is true… then I’m compromised from within. I have something inside me. Something in my brain. Something that will let people control me.
“Maybe I don’t need to know my memories. Maybe it’s just better to start over. A new day, so to speak.”
“That’s not gonna help.” He says, stern look on his face. “You can’t live in denial. It always comes back to haunt you. Better to deal with reality than push it down into some dark crevice of your mind, ya know?”
I don’t know how much to tell him. What if he does go insane if I let him know his second personality is back? What if he loses his mind for real? What if I’m locked down here and can’t get out? I don’t even know how to get out!
So I decide on half-truths. “I had a flash of memory just now.”
“What’d you remember?” he asks, walking towards me. He sits down on the bed. Not too close. Not so close so we’re touching.
“Do you think we have these powers—this mentalist and illusionist stuff—because they did something to our brains?”
Thomas nods. “For sure.”
“And you think I was sent to kill you? How do you think they got me to do that?”
“Programming,” he says. “You don’t know anything, Sadie. It’s pretty evident you’ve been under their control your whole life.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Programming. Maybe they put something inside me? Like a computer?”
“There’s an interface inside my brain, so you probably have one too. You’re not as developed as I am. I’m pretty sure of that. My hardware was for Alpha testing and you”—he laughs—“are clearly not an Alpha.”
“Can you see words?” I ask. I wish I knew what this was.
“Words?”
“Like across your eyes. Messages?”
“No,” he says. “That’s some real science-fiction shit right there. The interface is just impulses. It triggers neuronal pathways in your brain. Gives you… urges.”
Urges. None of this is good.
“Let me take you to Sheila. She’ll know—”
But an alarm goes off. A deep, prolonged buzzer. Ent. Ent. Ent. Something ominous. Lights begin to flash.
Thomas looks up at the ceiling as I cover my ears. “Time to go,” he says. But I can’t hear him over the repeating buzzer. I only see his lips. He leans down in my ear and says, “They’ve found us. Follow me.”