CHAPTER SIXTEEN - SADIE
I lean against Sullivan and sigh. What a crazy week it’s been.
But then I realize I have nothing to compare it to. Maybe all my weeks are crazy?
He leans forward and puts his arm around me. “Stop thinking about it and just rest.”
“What if I wake up and you’re gone?”
A soft laugh at that comment from Sullivan. “Are you falling in love with me, Sadie? Got a little Stockholm Syndrome going?”
I smile. But then frown. “You didn’t kidnap me. I mean, Thomas didn’t kidnap me. God, this is very confusing. I just feel like I know you better. That’s all. And I’ve been through enough change for a whole lifetime these past few days. I could use a little more of the same.”
“I get it,” he says, rubbing my shoulder.
“But you didn’t answer me. If I close my eyes and rest… will you still be here when I wake up?”
A shrug is all I get for an answer. He has nothing.
“Can you try?” I ask, unwilling to give up. “Just try? What if Thomas comes back and he’s confused? Or… thinks I crashed the train on purpose? What if…”
“Stop it,” Sullivan says. “I can’t control it. Not really. When he sleeps he’s weak because of all the drugs, maybe. And I think the crash had something to do with me returning. Or maybe it’s the dark. At any rate, we can’t control that. Let’s focus on what we can control. Healing. Let’s focus on healing. And the best way to do that is sleep.”
I let out a long breath of air and try to let it go. We really are stuck. Until someone comes bursting through that gate or ambushes us from behind, we’re just stuck.
So I close my eyes and will myself to let it go. I enjoy his warm body, at least. We’re pressed up against each other. It’s freezing down here. We could use that emergency kit. We’d have options. But that’s dumb too. If we didn’t crash we’d already be in the west tower. Safe and sound.
Eventually Sullivan relaxes and his breathing becomes softer. Slower. His head is against mine. And I’m pretty sure he’s asleep.
How long will he sleep? Which one of them will wake up? Who is coming for me?
Who? I ask my head. Who are you?
Electricity shoots through my brain, making me gasp for air and press my hands up to my temples.
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, flashes across my closed eyelids like a neon sign. Where are you? I’m coming. I won’t let you die down there.
Who are you? I ask the message in my head. I don’t know who you are.
Nothing. No answer. No static. No flashing words. Just nothing.
I’m here, I mentally whisper back. I’m in the tunnel near the west gate. I’m stuck. I can’t get out. I’m stuck.
It’s probably a huge mistake to tell them this. But if we’re fucked, and we clearly are, then why not just get it over with? Face it, deal with it, and then—figure out a way to fight them. Right now, we don’t even know who they are. What their weaknesses are. We need to see them to know those things.
We’re friends, my vision overlay suddenly messages. We’re friends and we’re coming to get you out of there. Just hold tight.
“Yes,” I whisper. Thomas’s friends are coming. I debate waking up Sullivan and telling him about the message. But then… he might fight them. He might think they’re here to put him back in the dark. And I get it. I get him. He wants his control back. I don’t want to be put to sleep, either. And I’m probably not even the primary personality.
But fuck that. I want my life back even if it means whoever I stole this body from gets locked up in the dark instead.
I don’t want Sullivan to go away, I decide. I don’t want Thomas to go away either. But if I have to make a choice…
Well, I don’t. It’s not my choice to make. I just don’t want to lose Sullivan. Not yet.
I like him. And when these partners of his get here I’m sure they’ll have some remedy—some weird fucking drug they can give Sullivan to get Thomas back.
So I let him sleep. I enjoy him just a little bit longer.
My wound is itching like crazy. Probably from those—don’t think about it, Sadie. It’s sick in a very diabolical way—nanites as they heal my leg.
But eventually I let that go too. I give in. Give up. Same thing.
I rest my head against Sullivan’s shoulder and let myself relax.
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie.
He is tall, muscular, and intimidating. His arms are crossed across his bare chest. They are huge. Bulging to the point of being grotesque. Like cannons. His body is covered in tattoos. Birds, I realize. Indigo blue ravens and midnight black jays. Raptors and songbirds too. But when I sweep my eyes up to his face, his frown is all I see.
He turns his back to me and walks to a doorway, his body forming a black silhouette against the bright light streaming through the opening, then disappears into it, taking the light with him.
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie.
“Sadie.”
I try to open my eyes, but they are still heavy with sleep and in my dream, I’m calling for the big man to come back.
“Sadie!” The urgent whisper comes with a shake this time.
“What?” I manage through dry, thirsty lips.
“Do you hear that?”
I open my eyes and find… “Thomas?” I ask the voice.
“No,” Sullivan says. “You’re still stuck with me. But listen. Am I hearing things? Can you hear that?”
“No,” I say.
“Listen carefully,” he urges. “Can you hear that?”
I strain my ears, searching for the sound that has him on alert. I’m just about to say no again when he says, “There. That. The little tinny whining of…”
“A drill,” I say. “They’re here, aren’t they?”
He just breathes for a few seconds. Then, “Yeah. A drill. You’re right. They’re drilling the iris gate. Probably from the center point where it spirals closed. That’s the weakest point.”
A faint pop sound makes both of us hiss in a breath.
“What was that?” I whisper into the darkness.
Sullivan is silent for a few moments. Pop, pop, pop, three more times.
“Explosives,” he whispers back. “They’re trying to break the seal first with small explosions. But once they have a foothold, they will use bigger charges to make an actual opening.”
“Do you think it’s them?” I ask. “Prodigy?”
I feel him nod next to me.
“It could be your friends,” I say. “I got a message last night—or…” I pause. Because I have no idea what time of day it is, and this bothers me. “Before I fell asleep. Maybe it was just a dream, but they said they were friends. They were coming to get me.”
“I don’t have any friends,” Sullivan says. “So no, I don’t think they’re friends.”
“But Thomas’s friends. I think it’s Thomas’s friends.”
He’s silent for a few seconds. Holding still as several more faint explosions sound off on the other side of the gate. “We should try at least.”
“Try what?”
“To run, I guess. Can you stand?”
He gets to his feet just fine, all healed up from the massive crash, then bends down to grab my upper arm and pulls. I struggle, trying to get my bad leg to move, but he ends up doing all the work. I lean against the wall, huffing air and trying not to notice that my legs are definitely not ready for running.
“I’m not healed,” I say.
“I’ll help you,” he says, putting my arm across his broad back so I can hold on to him.
He takes a step, but I stumble. “I can’t do it,” I say. “I won’t be able to walk yet.”
“I’ll carry you,” he says, leaning down into my neck. “We can’t just let them get us. We have to try something.”
“You go,” I say, wincing as I put pressure on my leg. “You go and I’ll stay here.”
“No, fuck that. I’m not leaving you behind. That’s bullshit. I’ll carry you.” He bends down and sweeps me up into his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck, so tired. Way too tired to escape anything right now.
We start walking, but it’s very clear within only a few steps that his leg isn’t completely healed either. He limps along, tripping over debris from the crash. We don’t go down, but it’s pretty evident that this escape will never happen. We will never get away. There is nothing around us but black. We have no eyes in this place.
He blindly kicks debris away with his foot, takes a few more steps, then stumbles again.
“Sullivan,” I say. “It’s over. We’re going to hurt ourselves even more if we keep going.”
“I’ll just use the wall as a guide,” he says, kicking his foot forward until he hits the hard stone. “I’m not gonna let them have you.”
“I’ll be OK,” I say. But it’s touching that someone I barely know… even… cares. I don’t know what my life was like before this week, but I doubt it was good.
“No, Sadie. You won’t. I’ll be OK. Because Thomas will just take over again. They’ll pump us with drugs and I’ll disappear. I’ll be nothing but chained anarchy in his head again. But you will not be OK and I won’t let them have you.”
I have nothing to say to that. I just lean my head into his shoulder and close my eyes. I have no idea how far away from the crash we make it before the little popping noises become bigger popping noises, but my best guess is not more than twenty or thirty feet.
We won’t escape.
Sullivan stops walking. Leans his back against the wall and sighs. “I’m sorry,” he says, putting me down.
I hold on to him, even when both my feet are back on the ground. He’s all I have. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”
“No. It’s not, but—”
An explosion cuts his words off. Then there’s light coming through up ahead. Sparks are flying, illuminating the green gas, which has started to pour into the tunnel.
“They’re cutting now,” Sullivan says. “They’ve got a blow torch and they’re cutting a door. They’ll be here soon.”
I start coughing, the gas entering my lungs. One breath is all it takes. One inhalation of the poison and I’m down. Choking and wheezing. Unable to get enough air into my lungs.
“I’m sorry, Sadie,” Sullivan says. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
The world goes black, then lights up again. But only in my head.
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie.
They’re here.
They’ve come for us. Come to take us back and lock us up in their prison of darkness.