I rolled over and thumped the mattress. It was dark out and had been that way since three o’clock in the morning…which was when I woke. I was so dang tired but sleep evaded me. It had been ever since I got here…which was now five days ago.

Yeah, I’d been in LA for nearly a week and my stubborn-ass sister still hadn’t agreed to come with me. I gave her two days’ peace then I made it my daily ritual to visit the house. I thumped on the door until my fist turned red, but she wouldn’t come out. I tried five times that day. The next morning, I saw her and Jimmy taking off down the driveway. They didn’t come back until after midnight! Ralphie texted and called for me, then kept saying, “Just give her some time, they’re coming back.”

Did no one understand I didn’t have time on my side?

The last time I headed down to the guesthouse, she told me to “F off,” but she used the real word, not just the first letter. I had no idea what I was going to try that morning.

Mama always said her eldest daughter was a mule, but I hadn’t realized she was a heartless one. I thought when I uttered the words that her mother was dying she’d soften up like a melted marshmallow. Obviously more went down in Chicago than I realized, which only magnified the importance of my mission. Nessa had to come home and say good-bye. But how could I make her see that when she was refusing to listen to me?

Living in the Chaos house was an eye opener. I’d met Flick and Jace. Nice guys, although Flick seemed a little uptight. Jace came and went. They all did, except Ralphie. He was the only constant in this house. The only one willing to treat me like I wasn’t the enemy.

Being wrapped in his arms that first day…that had been exactly what I’d needed. He probably had no idea how much it meant to me. I wanted his arms around me again.

I felt bad for feeling that way. I was there to see Ness, not fall for a bass guitarist, but he was making it damn near impossible not to like him. We’d spent every day together and when I say day, I mean all the day long. I’d played Mortal Kombat until my hands cramped—I was getting kinda good actually. Ralphie had sat me down and shown me his bass. He’d even let me hold it and play a few chords. I played piano, so it was a little weird adjusting to a different instrument, but I liked the deep sound it made.

What else had we done?

Movies. We’d stayed up 'til one o’clock the other morning watching the Indiana Jones trilogy. Ralphie liked old-school movies and I quickly figured out that I did too. Back To The Future was next on our list. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was looking forward to it. I loved those movies. I loved eating popcorn and listening to Ralphie’s running commentary. I liked the feel of him beside me, knowing that if I wanted to, I could lean over and rest my head on his shoulder.

Images of what else I could do fired through my brain. I snapped my eyes shut, trying to ward them off.

The last week, although I hadn’t managed to achieve anything I came here to do, had been a small taste of paradise—when I wasn’t stressing out about Nessa, that is.

It had been a reprieve I’d obviously needed after months and months of despair and tension. Victor and I had been helping run the farm and managing the home. I didn’t realize how locked in I’d felt. Getting off the farm for a few days had been a huge relief. Victor and his golden boy routine could be a real pain in the ass, not to mention Violet’s whiny princess show at the end of each school day, and Vincent’s serious case of the pubescent grumpies. I was being turned into a mother well before my time, and escaping that helped me see just how hard it’d been.

When I was with Ralphie (and not thinking about Mama), I could pretend for a moment that it was my life. I felt young and free…and I really liked it. He made me happy. He made me want to try things I never had before.

I’d tasted beer.

It was gross, but I still tasted it. His music was growing on me too. Flicking back the covers, I nestled my feet into the thick carpet and hummed a line from “My Sharona.” With a giggle, I reached for my phone and opened Spotify. Ralphie had downloaded the app for me and set up a couple of playlists. He put a country one on there, plus a rock ‘n’ roll. I clicked on his list and pressed “My Sharona,” cranking up the volume in an attempt to forget about the ticking clock.

I guess it was kind of selfish to try and ignore the problem at hand, but it did give me the burst of energy I needed to drag my butt out of bed. Dancing across to my chair, I raised my arms in the air and did a spin, kicking out my feet, pretending to bash away the question of how the hell I was going to get Nessa to come out and listen to me.

I spun and wiggled my hips, shaking off the pending heartache of my mother’s departure and what that meant for my future. The music soaked into me, teasing away reality until I could smile. Snatching my towel off the chair, I flung it over my shoulder. I had no idea if Nessa would let me see her today, but if she didn’t, at least I had Ralphie’s company to look forward to.

A smile crested my lips as I walked down the hallway and flicked open the bathroom door.

I stuttered to a stop, my mouth dropping open as I took in the stunning sight of Ralphie’s bare backside. It was sexy as hell—firm and round with these dimples on each cheek. My stunned gaze traveled down his thick thighs and calf muscles before racing back up to check out the muscles on his back.

He was oblivious to my appraisal. The music was cranking out of his phone—“First Kiss” by Kid Rock. A little rock ‘n’ roll mixed with country. If I’d been hesitant about my feelings before, that moment was confirming them faster than I could process.

His deep voice picked up the lyrics as he rinsed his razor under the faucet. Tapping it on the edge of the porcelain, he patted his face dry then flicked the towel over his shoulder and turned around.

My eyes shot straight to his privates. I couldn’t help it. I’d never seen one before, and my fascination overrode all common sense. My eyes bulged wide as I studied the length of it. It was kinda big, not that I had anything to compare it to.

My mouth pooled with saliva then snapped shut when Ralphie jerked. “Oh! Shit. Sorry.” He snatched the towel off his shoulder and wound it around his waist.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I didn’t…” I gripped the door handle, my eyes darting around the room as I tried to escape the images branding my brain. Fire bolts were darting between my legs, making it hard to stand still.

“I should have locked the door.”

“I should have knocked. I’m so, so sorry.” I rubbed a hand over my burning face, my eyes connecting with his for a brief moment.

His skin had a pink hue to it as he ran a hand over his goatee and pinched his chin. A slow smile pushed his cheeks wide.

“It’s not a problem.”

A breathy laugh spawned from jitters and desire escaped my lips. I tipped my head then shrugged. “It definitely helped wake me up some.”

“Well, I’m glad I could be of service.” He winked.

My gaze shot back down to the white tiles. It was the safest space in the room. I kept my eyes locked on the grouting while he collected his things and brushed past me. His naked stomach touched my arm and goose bumps rippled over my skin.

Man, why’d he have to smell so good all the time?

“Enjoy your shower,” he murmured over my shoulder before walking away. I rushed into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, leaning against the wood as my legs gave out. I slid to the floor and fisted my T-shirt, my thoughts recapturing his naked body. I’d never seen anything so beautiful. Heat shot between my thighs. I crossed my legs and bit my lower lip, resisting the urge to touch myself.

* * *

The shower had been hot and scalding. I’d wanted it that way. I’d needed it that way. My skin was glowing pink by the time I stepped out and dried myself off. I hadn’t been able to resist the images of Ralphie’s sexy body and, in the end, just went with them. The hot spray had soaked into me, blending with my desire. I stepped out of the cubicle light-headed and struggling to stand straight.

A giddy smile kept playing with my mouth as I wrapped the towel around myself. A small part of me wanted to waltz into Ralphie’s room and return the favor. I could see myself dropping the towel at my feet and standing there. But then the idea of his eyes roving my naked skin sent a shot of fear charging through me. What if he didn’t like what he saw? What if he did and then…

I gulped, wondering what that manhood would feel like sliding into me. I bit my lower lip, willing my heart back to a sensible pace. It thundered in my chest as I crept down the hallway.

But then it jerked and dropped when I saw the tail end of my phone screen lighting up then going dark again. I walked across to my bedside table and checked it.

A text from Daddy.

Hey, petal. How are things going today?

I sighed, reality crashing back over me like a tidal wave. Nessa. I was here because of Nessa. Daddy had been checking in each day. We’d texted back and forth, trying to encourage each other, but both felt lost as to how to win over my stubborn sister.

I sat on the edge of my bed and typed back: Mama didn’t call her the mule child for nothin. She still hasn’t budged.

Thirty seconds later: I know it’s hard, sweetheart, but you’re the perfect person to do this. Don’t lose faith. We have to believe that Mama will hang on long enough.

Tears made up of guilt and heartache blinded me for a moment. Here was me fantasizing in the shower while my mother lay dying on the other side of the country. I rubbed my eyes and sniffed before texting back: How’s she doin?

Three painful minutes later: She’s gonna hang tough. You know your mama. There’s always been two mules in the Sloan family.

Daddy. I wrote. How’s she really?

The little dots indicating a new comment flickered on my screen. I watched it with keen eyes until finally a short message popped up.

Doc’s coming today with more pain relief.

My lips wobbled as I fought for control. I couldn’t think of how to reply, so just sent back a stupid little thumbs-up to acknowledge his message. Slapping my phone down, I gripped the towel around me and battled the burning tears.

I couldn’t keep playing anymore. That ticking clock was real. There could be no more movie marathons and Mortal Kombat. I came to do a job and I had to see it done, even if it meant standing outside Nessa’s door for the rest of the day.

We had to head home, and I needed to pretend like I’d never tasted paradise.