The funeral was over; the house had been returned to its usual state of order with the help of Chaos. The irony was not lost on me. Mama would have been proud.

Meals were piling up in the freezer, thanks to the amazing community we lived in.

Mama’s farewell had been beautiful. We’d all had a long time to come to terms with it. That didn’t mean the sting wasn’t something terrible, but we’d gotten used to life without her puttering around downstairs. I’d adjusted to cooking all the meals and playing the role of mother.

That was my lot now, and I had to accept it.

Unfortunately, I was struggling to do that.

Gazing out the window, I scowled down at the stupid van in our driveway. The one that would be leaving at dusk and taking Ralphie away from me. I’d only known him two weeks, but he’d become everything in that time. I didn’t know you could fall in love so fast. The idea of losing him was almost too much to think about.

We had one afternoon left together, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. Pulling in a nervous breath, I trudged down the stairs, checking on everyone as I went. Vincent and Daddy were dealing with cows on the back field. Flick was showing Violet a thing or two on the piano while Nessa and Jimmy snuggled on the couch. Victor was hidden away in his room, no doubt scrolling through the Ole Miss website as he prepared to start school in the fall. He’d delayed his studies to stay and help look after Mama. With her gone, I think his coping mechanism was to pour all his focus into becoming the best college student he could be.

I hadn’t seen Ralphie since lunch. He’d helped me clear the table and clean up the kitchen, then quietly slipped out the back door. I followed the path I thought he might take and ended up at the old barn.

Slipping through the gap in the door, I wandered the dimly lit space. Shafts of light highlighted dust ballerinas. I moved through their slow dance, heading for the ladder, and found my prize in the loft.

He was sitting on a hay bale, looking sad and lonely.

“You okay?” I rested my hand on his broad shoulder. My fingers looked kind of small sitting there. I traced a soft line from the edge of his shoulder to the base of his neck then ran my nails lightly through the hair that curled around his collar.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered, clutching my forearm and giving it a light squeeze.

I tried to smile down at him, but it didn’t work. My breath hitched and I sank down beside him. “I want to ask you to stay, but I won’t do it.”

“I want to ask you to come with me, but I know you can’t.” His gray eyes filled with sorrow.

Resting my head on his shoulder, I ran my fingers down his jean-clad thigh. “I wish I didn’t have to stay. When I left for California, I was petrified. I wanted to get there and get back out again as fast as I could. But then I met you.” I sat up and looked at his beautiful face. “You have shown me a world that I never thought I could fit into, but I’ve fallen in love with it.” My lips twitched with a nervous smile. “All of it.”

He knew what I was saying. I could tell because his face softened with a smile that told me I wasn’t falling in love on my own.

We reached for each other at the same time, our hot lips crashing together in a desperate kiss that seemed to have a mind of its own. I opened my mouth to him, hungry for a taste of his tongue. It swirled around mine, igniting things inside me that had obviously been lying dormant. He’d been rattling the doors for the last two weeks and they were ready to bust right open.

Gripping his shirt, I pulled my lips away and whispered, “Ralphie.”

“Yeah,” he puffed, trailing hot kisses down my neck.

“Will you do something for me?”

His large hand slid up my spine, squeezing me against his chest. “Anything.”

I sat back so he was forced to look me in the eye. This was important; I needed to know what he was thinking. Licking my lower lip, I bit the right corner and asked, “Will you be my first?”

His strong fingers gently dug into my back as he searched my face with his bewitching gray eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Never more sure of anything in my life. I want you. I want this between us, like a treasured memory I can keep with me forever.”

A tender smile lifted his cheeks. He didn’t say so, but he looked like it would be an honor. It made me grin and then do this excitable chuckle. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing and I kind of hoped he did. I dipped my chin and tittered again, nervous energy pulsing out of me.

His long finger nudged my face up and I met that gaze—so tender and sweet. The pads of his fingers were warm as they glided down my neck, traveling over my breast before cupping the edge of my hip.

I let out a shuddering breath and started unbuttoning my shirt. He whipped his off and I gaped at the fine muscle covering his torso. Slipping the shirt from my shoulders, I let it fall to the wooden floor before reaching for him and exploring his taut skin—running the backs of my fingers over his sexy curves before splaying my hand over his beating heart.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, studying my body with the same fascination. Reaching behind me, he unclasped my bra and pulled it off. A wave of vulnerability swept through me as the straps fell off my shoulders, but then he smiled. His hypnotic gaze shifted to my body, the wonder on his face boosting my confidence as his fingers traveled over my skin and around my small breasts. They fit perfectly into the palms of his hands. He gave each one a gentle squeeze. My nipples responded to his touch, hungry for more. A little gasp shot out of me when he bent forward and sucked one into his mouth.

I thought I was going to explode. The sensation was like nothing I’d experienced before. It sent darts of pleasure firing through my core, stirring something inside of me that was new and erotic. I fisted his thick curls and moaned. His hand traveled down my back and he lifted me against him, cradling me until my bare back was pressed against the hay-scattered floor. The straw smell was rich in my nose, but it didn’t overpower the smell of him. I drank it in as he hovered over me, running his tongue around my nipples until the tingling between my thighs was too much.

I reached for his belt, nervously grappling with it. He sat back and helped me out, sitting on his knees and wiggling out of his pants. I know I’d seen it before, but it was even more spectacular the second time around—erect and so much bigger.

“Can I touch it?” I didn’t know what made me ask, but he chuckled and nodded at me.

I sat up, my hair tumbling around my naked torso and tickling my nipples. I barely noticed, too infatuated with this man in front of me, kneeling there in all his glory. I wrapped my fingers around the smooth, rigid skin and gave him a gentle squeeze. He groaned, his eyes glazing over as he flicked my hair over my shoulders for easier access to my breasts. His hands felt good, continuing to feed the desire pulsing inside of me, doing things to my body that I never knew it could.

I rubbed Ralphie up and down, gliding my thumb over his crown until he took my breath away by cupping me between the legs. I was so ignited down below, the sensation made me jump. He chuckled and went about undoing my fly and nudging the jean shorts down my legs. I wriggled and tugged them over my knees, but didn’t want to let him go. I liked my fingers wrapped around his length. He grinned at my struggle, leaning around me to pluck the shorts off my ankles and fling them onto the hay bale beside us.

With a sweet smile, he grazed the pads of his fingers down my cheek then drew a line over my breasts, winding a path down to my exposed center. I’d never been naked in front of a man before. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips against his Adam’s apple, too shy to look at him while his fingers explored me, caressing the tender skin below before finding my opening and sliding inside.

A hot gasp whispered out of my lips and I clutched him tighter. He moaned, and I could feel the vibration against my lips. I stroked him harder while he turned my legs into quivering matchsticks. His fingers moved inside me, creating a slick moisture I’d never felt before.

His thumb flicked over my sensitive skin, finding a spot that had been silently begging for a taste of him. I cried out, unable to keep my pleasure at bay. He felt so damn good. I wanted this feeling to last forever, but the pressure building inside me made it all want to stop. I felt like my body was going to unravel, explode…do something dire.

I let go of him and clutched his shoulders, holding on as the inevitable happened. A sweet rocket went off inside me, shooting pleasure through every part of my body. My unchecked cries filled the empty barn while my limbs trembled and gave out.

Ralphie clutched me against him, his lips caressing my hair as he pulled his slick fingers out of me and laid my quivering body back against the boards. Sitting back on his heels, he gazed down at me, a look of awe and admiration making his eyes shine.

“You’re so incredibly gorgeous.” His fingers sailed down my torso, touching me like I was a rare specimen that had to be treated with care. My belly vibrated under his touch. I smiled up at him—an awkward, quivering-lip movement that no doubt gave away my trepidation. I wasn’t scared of him…or even what we were about to do. He’d made my body so hungry I wanted to pull him on top of me just so I could cover my skin with his.

“We don’t have to,” he murmured.

“I want to.” The words shot out so fast, my cheeks flamed with color. “I’m just nervous is all. What if I do it wrong? I mean, whatever you just did to me felt so good and I want you to feel that way too.”

He smiled, his voice dipping so low I could only just hear it. “Trust me, I’m gonna feel it.”

He rubbed his hands up my thighs before reaching back and retrieving something from his wallet. The ripping foil sounded loud and foreign in the open barn. I watched in fascination as he slid the condom over himself, but then I swallowed when I realized we were about to go all the way. The second he stretched forward and hovered over me, my body re-ignited, vibrations traveling through me like electric currents.

His fingers glided down the edge of my hair before he gently kissed my lips. His naked chest touching my erect nipples, the feel of his tongue in my mouth, calmed my doubts. I clung to his shoulders as he lowered his body. His length pressed into the edge of my thigh. My muscles pinged tight when he reached down and lined himself up then gently pushed himself inside me.

My wet heat worked like some kind of oil. He glided into me without too much trouble, but I still sucked in a breath and opened my mouth, unable to make a sound. All I could feel was an intense sensation that rocketed through my entire core. He was filling me…my body, my heart, my soul. It was a weird combination of heady pleasure and unique pain. I mean, it wasn’t pain as such, but…I couldn’t describe it. My insides were being stretched and opened, making way for this beautiful experience…this treasured moment.

Ralphie moved with delicate precision, his muscles trembling as he inched a little further inside of me, then paused to look down at my face.

He stroked my cheekbone with his knuckles and murmured, “You okay?”

The tenderness in his voice, the feel of him inside me… I thought my brain was going to melt.

I nodded, unable to speak. He searched my face with a soft smile, then pushed into me. It was slow and easy at first, a few gentle thrusts to get us started, but as the pressure inside me began to build again, I found myself matching his moves, lifting my hips so I could feel him even deeper. My limbs started quivering and a slick sweat now covered our skin. The more we moved together, the more I liked it.

Ralphie was part of me, filling me to the very core…and I loved him.

Brushing my lips over his shoulder, I sucked the skin and whimpered as he hit a new spot that made my insides dance.

He groaned and lifted my thigh, burying himself a little deeper. I cried out, digging my heel into the back of his leg as he increased the tempo. I clung to him, riding this overpowering wave that was set on swallowing me whole.

I’d never be the same again after this.