“Catch,” Adam says from the darkness.

Reflexively, I hold my hands out with my palms up and something lands on me. It’s kind of bouncy.

“What are you giving me a ball for?” I ask.

“I read somewhere that two-year-olds can kick and throw a ball. That one’s for William to practice with,” Adam says. “Maybe one day I’ll get to play it with him.”

Okay, it doesn’t look like he’s still hell-bent on suing me. That’s good news, at least.

But why does he have to be so nice about everything? Buying William a gift without even pushing to see him . . . He’s making it hard for me to stay angry with him.

“I hope you’re not angry anymore,” Adam says, as if he’s reading my thoughts.

I stay quiet.

I wouldn’t say I’m angry . . .

But, I don’t know. I haven’t had enough time to think. I’m not ready to make any decisions yet.

“Do you need help carrying William inside?” Adam asks in his deep, sumptuous voice.

“No. I’m good.”

I’m used to carrying William places. I’ve always had to be both his mom and his dad.

I’ve never had the choice to unload some of the burden on someone else, and I don’t want to start now. Something like that has the potential to go very wrong. I don’t want to grow dependent on anyone.

“Okay. Can I stay here and watch while you carry him inside? Just in case you need help.” He pauses, then hurriedly adds, “Not that I’m saying you need help.”

“Sure,” I say.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely.

Guilt fills my chest with heaviness. Should I let him carry William inside?

But then where does it stop? Do I let him into William’s room? What if he needs to use the bathroom?

And most terrifyingly of all . . . What if I want him to stay? Will I have the strength to resist, or will I simply forget that I’m supposed to try thinking with a clear head once he touches me?

There are many different ways this could go. Too many for me to take my chances now, while I still haven’t decided what to do.

I carry William in my arms from the car to the front door. The keys make a loud jangling sound as I stick one of them inside the socket.

“Good night, Adam,” I say.

“Good night, Katie,” he replies from the darkness.

I quickly slip inside and close the door behind me, but Adam continues to dominate my thoughts.

He didn’t call me “kitten” tonight. Not once.

I kind of miss it.

In fact, it stings, thinking about how I may never hear him call me “kitten” again.

* * *

“Hey.” Adam’s standing in bright daylight now, in contrast to last night. He’s also standing right on my porch, instead of outside, where his car’s parked.

“Hey,” I say. “Wow. Bright and early, huh?”

“Yeah. I know it’s your day off.”

“Don’t you have work today?” I check my watch.

“Don’t worry about me,” he says. “Does William like the ball?”

“Yeah.” I gaze into his mesmerizingly green eyes. “Actually, I haven’t . . . He hasn’t played with it yet. He woke up, had breakfast, and now he’s taking a nap.”

“Nice to be two,” Adam says with a smile.

“Yeah.”

“What did he have for breakfast? Macaroni and cheese? Tuna sandwich?”

My lips pull up into a smile. William ate both those things while Adam was here, and he remembers.

“Fish chowder and bread sticks,” I say.

“Ah. And I’m sure you cut everything into tiny little pieces to prevent choking,” he says.

“Yeah.”

“See? I’m learning. I read that somewhere.”

“Yeah. I notice.” I give him a smile.

Adam may be a lot of unknown things, but he’s not a bad dad. Keeping him away from William would do William more harm than good.

If I keep my feelings out of this, maybe it doesn’t have to become complicated.

“Also,” Adam adds, “all the books say William’s about to start trying to climb out of his crib. You may want to watch out for that. But I’m sure you already know that.”

“Yeah.” I smile. “Adam, I gave things a lot of thought last night,” I say. “I was being rash when I told you to leave. I overreacted. I’m sorry. It was just an accident. I see that now.”

“Are you serious?” Adam blurts out as his stunning green eyes study me. “Wait, never mind. Don’t re-think anything. I just want to make something clear. So . . . you don’t want me to leave anymore?”

“Yeah.”

Adam gazes deep into my eyes. His skin crinkles, pulled up by his smile. “Kitten, you don’t know how happy you’ve made me.”

As Adam steps forward with his strong arms spread wide, I realize my horrific mistake.

Yet, for a split second, I consider letting the misunderstanding slide and just going with it. I mean, those arms look really warm and comfortable. It’s kind of chilly this morning, and it would feel really nice to nuzzle my cheek against Adam’s neck.

“Hold on.” I press my palms against Adam’s arms, pushing him away. He really is as warm as I imagined.

But I have to be strong. I can’t be reckless.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, his eyes darkening with alarm.

“I’m so sorry. I . . . There may have been a misunderstanding.” My voice is shaking. “I just meant . . . You can come back here and see William again. You’re his dad, and I have no right to keep you away from him. I promise you, I won’t do it again.”

“Thank you. That’s . . . That’s massive.” Adam smiles as his eyes grow glassy with emotions. “But what do you mean by a misunderstanding?”

“I mean . . . us,” I say softly. It’s hard to look him in the eye when he looks so confused, and I’m about to deliver some bad news. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to just . . . jump into a relationship or anything like that. There are so many things we don’t know, so many things we’re still trying to figure out.”

“Say no more,” Adam says assertively. “I know what you mean. Instability is not good for William.”

“Yeah. Exactly. I’m glad you understand.” With relief, I let out a surreptitious exhale.

“Completely,” Adam says. “It only makes sense. You’re a nurse, so you’ve seen all the things that could go wrong with your own two eyes.”

“That’s part of it, yeah.”

“Also, considering you didn’t even know it was possible for you to conceive, it’s natural that you’re protective of William.”

“Yeah,” I say in amazement.

I never told anyone this, but I feel like I cheated fate, somehow, by having William. Since I wasn’t meant to have a child, I worry someone’s going to notice the mistake one day and take him away from me.

It sounds kind of insane, I know. But it’s how I feel. I can’t help it.

I’ve never talked about this with anyone. Yet somehow, Adam understands it.

“I know I overreacted after the accident. I shouldn’t have,” I say joylessly. “But that whole thing made me realize that I’m too volatile for a relationship. I can’t do the mom thing and the relationship thing, too.”

“You’re just being a good mom, Katie. That’s a good thing. I’m never going to blame you for that.” Adam gazes at me, his eyes alight with determination. “But you’re wrong about something. I won’t cause instability in your life. I won’t be an uncertainty, Katie. And you’re not too volatile for anything. I’ll show you.”