He doesn’t want to see you,” Stefano says.

I try to shove past him, but he grabs my wrist. “He’s not even here right now, Bella. He’s underground, because he’s worried your boyfriend is going to try to ice him.”

I pull against Stefano’s grip, and I meet his eyes. I try to focus on him through the tears. “My boyfriend isn’t the one who did this. Where is Michael?”

Stefano looks away.

“Stefano,” I say tugging on his arm. This time I’m the one grabbing him.

“We can’t find him,” he says, looking away.

“So Dad goes underground,” I say, “And Michael disappears too. Do you find that at all suspicious?”

Stefano holds up a finger. “Listen, princess, Tony is tough as a brick wall, and just as sentimental. The only crack in that is you. I’d never have believed he was serious about a truce with the fucking Gallos, if not for you being the one who wanted it. He wouldn’t have broken that. He wanted you back in the family, Bella, especially now.”

“So let me talk to him,” I say.

Stefano shakes his head.

He thinks that if I know where he is, I might tell Luca. He thinks that if Luca knows where Tony is, then he’ll be in danger. I believe–at least 99%–that my father didn’t do this.

“We have to find Michael then,” I say.

“We’re looking,” Stefano says glumly. “Trust me, we’re looking for that fucker.”

“Why don’t you meet with Luca then,” I suggest. “Tell him that you’re trying to find him. Work together, declare Michael an enemy to show goodwill.”

“It don’t work like that,” Stefano says. “You know how it is.”

I throw up my hands in frustration. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I got the hell out. That’s why I was an idiot to come back in. I should have stayed far away.”

Stefano’s nostrils flare, and he looks down, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “Yeah, maybe you should have.”

* * *

I arrive at Vinny’s wake. I’m late, and the Gallos all start glaring at me. I can see it in their eyes, that many of them blame me. Maybe some of them blame my family, and I’m guilty by association. And maybe others blame me more directly.

I’m worried that Luca is going to be cold to me, or even tell me to leave. He can’t be too happy with me right now.

I see him standing there next to Gio and Leo. He’s in a dark suit, his hair is slicked back. He looks as good as ever, but there’s a real sadness etched into the lines of his face. He looks over and spots me, and his face lights up.

He comes toward me, spreading his arms as we near each other. I fall into him, burying my face in his wide chest. He holds me tight against him, and suddenly all those accusing eyes don’t mean anything to me. I feel accepted again, a part of something, even if it’s just a part of one other person.

The resolve I had earlier to end things with him has faded down to a mild nagging. It’s a voice I could easily extinguish entirely, but I let it keep nagging me for now. I don’t think I want to break up with him anymore, but I can’t fully accept him just yet. I need that small voice of reason in my head, keeping me from being completely blinded by Luca’s charm.

“I shouldn’t have forced you to go to Hershey,” he says.

“It’s fine,” I say. “I understand why you wanted to send me there.”

He lets go of me and looks me in the eyes, smiling tentatively at me. “You okay?”

I nod, but my throat is raw from crying. At least I’m not crying right now, though maybe I should be, for Vinny.

“I met with Stefano,” I say. “Luca, I really don’t think it was my family.”

He frowns. “We have to be sure though. I can’t ask my own family to all buy in on ‘I really don’t think.’”

“You believe me though, right?” I ask him, holding tight to his hand.

He nods. “Yeah, and it’s what I think too, but I don’t have any proof. If I fight against my own family to get them all to back down, and I end up being wrong, it could be the end of both our families. The end of us too.”

I start to notice all the eyes on us as we speak. I realize that both families really are going to hate me now. Stefano doesn’t trust me, and neither do any of the Gallos–save for Luca.

People soon start to speak, and my first instinct is to slink to the back of the room where few people can see me. But Luca puts his arm around me, and he holds me tight as we listen to Vinny’s friends and family each take their turns to talk about him.

When Luca goes up to speak, Gio comes to my side and whispers to me. “I know you guys didn’t do it too, Bella.”

I smile at him, “Thanks, Gio.”

“That’s what I’m telling everyone, too. Using my big mouth for good this time, you know?”

I nod. “I really appreciate it. And thank you again for protecting me back in the garage. I was terrified, and it really helped to have you there keeping me safe.”

He stands up straight, pulling his shoulders back and sucking in his gut. He swells with pride, beaming down at me. “Aw, it was nothing. Nothing at all.”

* * *

“You sure this is a good idea?” I ask Luca.

He nods.

I’m wearing a mostly white dress with small and subdued hints of yellow and pink flowers.

“I always avoided church on Easter Sunday,” I say, feeling guilty.

“Why’s that?” he asks.

“Because,” I say. “I never gave up anything for Lent.”

He laughs. “You gave up alcohol this time.”

“I’m pregnant,” I say, laughing. “That doesn't count, because I gave it up for the baby. Not for Lent. What did you give up?”

Luca frowns and adjusts his tie. “I wanted to give up this life.”

I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my cheek against his arm, looking at us together in the mirror. I’m starting to show. “You still can.”

“The deal fell through,” he says. “It’s over.”

“Didn’t they say it was just on hold?”

He shakes his head. “Polite way of saying it’s over. They wanted Vinny, not some gangster.”

“You don’t have to be some Jiffy Lube kingpin, Luca,” I say. “You can just open some more garages in Queens. I know you always call me ‘princess,’ but I’m not a princess. I’m a simple girl who needs only simple things. Besides, I want to work after I finish school, and as long as we’re both making some money, we’ll get by.”

“You deserve better than getting by,” he says, leaning down and kissing my forehead.

“The most important thing to me is that we have a normal life, Luca. Anything beyond that is just icing on the cake.”

He sighs. “I’ll figure something out.”

He’s been incredibly preoccupied with keeping the peace. Michael is still nowhere to be found, and tension is high all around. Since Vinny’s wake, there have been four or five instances of Rielas and Gallos almost getting into fist fights, which can quickly become knife fights, which can then become shootings.

It feels like we’re in a dry forest in the peak of summer, and all it will take is one stray spark to start a raging fire.

Luca drives us to Mass. It’s in the church both our families go to. The church our families have gone to since our great grandparents arrived from the old country. Both families went there before there was any feud, when they were all still friends. Once the feud started, neither family was willing to give up this church. Sometimes it felt like my father made us go here just to prove that it was still ours, that he wouldn’t be the one to back down.

“The first time I saw you,” Luca says, putting the car into park. “Was in here.”

“No, it wasn’t,” I say. “It was at a church thing, but not in the church.”

“Really?” he asks. “I remember you wearing this nice dress, and you had ribbons in your hair. I was looking at you from across the aisle, and then your dad caught me looking. Scared me shitless–though don’t ever tell him I said that.”

“Hmm” I say. “Maybe you’re right, but the first time we met was at one of those youth group things. You know, Jesus and pizza?”

“Yeah,” he says. “But I saw you before that.”

“Fair enough,” I say, smiling. “Remember how mean I was to you when we first met?”

He smiles. “That’s why I liked you.”

We go into the church as the bells ring. It’s not just our families there, of course, but each family does have its own side. Rielas on the left, Gallos on the right.

We walk in with our arms locked together, and then we just sit down right in the middle, in a dead zone between the two families. I realize as we sit down that it starts to feel almost like some kind of grandiose statement we’re making. Look at us, sitting here in the middle. We represent the truce, notice us!

Maybe that’s part of it, but in reality it is our only option. With Luca and me together, it’s not as if we could pick a side. Sitting in the middle is the only option available to us, as a matter of practicality.

We talk to each other over the sound of the bells, and the slightly musty smell of those hymn books and bibles tucked into the pews hits me, bringing me back to my early childhood. I’ve always been a devout Catholic, but I haven’t been to Mass much at all lately. It felt like if I wanted to go to Mass, I wanted to go to this church. But with all the family drama here that I’d chosen to duck out of, it’s not like I could actually go without getting pulled right back in.

I hear the pew creak, and I see Gio sit down on the right side of Luca.

“I’m backing yous guys up,” Gio says. “Gotta represent that truce.”

Luca pats him on the back. “Thanks, Gio. It’s appreciated.”

Then I see Stefano sit down, not at my side, but on the far end of the middle section of pews. Just far enough over that he’s showing his support, but not close enough to the middle that he’d have to actually talk to Luca or Gio.

Gio laughs. “Guess he’s sort of representing too.”

“That’s the most you’ll get from Stefano,” I say, but I smile at him either way.

He pretends not to see me, looking down at his Bible, which he opens up to a random page.

“Guess what I gave up for Lent,” Gio whispers over to us.

“Peanuts,” we both say in unison.

He laughs, slapping his knee. “Yeah, I think God was giving me a few signs, you know? Every time I eat them, something really bad happens. First Yuri and Luca fighting, then Vinny getting killed. I think I’m gonna give them up for good.”

“You’re going to eat plain M&M’s?” Luca asks.

“Nah,” Gio says. “Peanut M&M’s don’t count as peanuts. I ain’t giving those up.”

Mass starts, and no one else from either family moves to the center. I do notice my father watching me, and he’s at least not frowning or red-faced. I figure Stefano and Gio are good enough for now. The fact that we’ve also gone a few weeks without everything exploding also falls into the “good enough” category.

We listen to the sermon, sing hymns, and take communion.

After it’s all over and everyone is walking back to their cars, I feel a palpable sense of reduced tension. It seem that Stefano and Gio’s token gesture worked to calm everyone down, at least enough to behave themselves in a church. That’s a pretty low bar, but again, I’ll take it.

We get into the car and Luca leans back, sighing loudly. “I’m not gonna swear. But crap that was tense.”

“Lent is over,” I say, laughing.

“We’re in the friggin’ church parking lot, Princess,” he says, grinning. “Hey, you ever been to Montauk?”

I shake my head. “No, why?”

“Let’s go. I just gotta get the heck out of here.”

It sounds strange to hear Luca say “friggin’” and “heck,” but maybe he’ll need to practice for when the baby is born.

“Why Montauk?” I ask.

“It’s the point on Long Island furthest from the city,” he says. “It feels like getting away. Sometimes I just drive out there to get some air. Let’s get some air together, Bella.”

I squeeze his leg and smile. “Yeah, let’s.”

* * *

The sun is setting as we arrive at the beach. The sky is painted in a calming pink and deep purple, and the salty ocean air hits my nose as we roll down the windows.

I can see the tension melting off of Luca as we get out of the car and start to walk across the sand. It’s still a bit too cold to walk barefoot on the water so we keep to where it’s still dry.

“I feel guilty for relaxing,” he says. “I’m always worried my own family is going to turn on both of us, or that our two families will start killing each other. Now that you’re here, safe with me, I’ve only gotta worry about the second part.”

“I think we made good progress today,” I say. “I always was a bit skeptical of your trust in Gio, but I’m starting to see it now. He’s a good guy.”

Luca nods. “He comes off totally incompetent sometimes, but when he’s not creating peanut-related incidents, he usually makes the right call. The call I’d make if I were there. I trust him to do that more than anyone else in my family.”

“If our families do start killing each other,” Luca says, “I’d rather be there when it happens. That’s why I feel guilty.”

I squeeze his hand. “It’s normal to feel that. To want peace.”

“Not for me,” he says. “Everyone in my family other than Gio keeps telling me that I’m being naive. So I said fuck it, I don’t care what they say, I know what I want for myself and my own life.”

“Good,” I say. “That’s the right attitude.”

“I thought so. But right when I started thinking that, that’s when Vinny got killed,” he says, shaking his head. “So now it’s like fate is telling me I’m being naive, you get what I’m saying?”

I bite my lip, not sure how to respond. We’ve stopped walking now, and we’re just holding hands while looking at the sunset, the sounds of the ocean filling in the silence between us.

“I get it,” I finally say. “But that’s just the stuff you’re trying to get away from. Once you get away, you’ll be away. It will be behind you.”

“If I really wanted to just run,” he says. “I could do it right now. As much as I want out, I feel like I’ve gotta fix this thing I’ve started before I go. It wouldn’t be fair to either of our families.”

I feel my chest tighten when he mentions just running away now. My first instinct is to cling to him and beg him to do just that. To ask him to leave tonight. Right now. To never look back.

But then I think of our families in church. I think of Gio and Stefano almost sitting near each other. I think of what all these people who should be friends will probably do to each other without Luca and me there to hold the peace.

“We’ll fix this,” I say. “Then we’ll go.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Maybe Michael will do the Christian thing and come back on Easter.”

I slap him playfully on his arm. “Don’t compare Michael to Jesus, not on Easter.”

He laughs. “What day does Satan come back? That’s the day we should keep an eye out for Michael.”

We sit down on the sand and watch the waves roll in. As the sun sets more, the lighthouse becomes more prominent on the shore.

“You know I was going to break up with you?” I ask him, after many long minutes of peaceful silence.

“Huh, when?” he asks.

“When you ghosted me,” I say, “For weeks.”

“I wasn’t ghosting you,” he says.

I laugh, remembering when this conversation was flipped around. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he says. “I was getting my shit in order. I took what you said to heart. Or maybe Yuri almost knocking out my teeth knocked some actual sense into me. I wasn’t ready to see you again until I’d–I dunno–worked on myself, or whatever. Fixed myself.”

“So you told me to come see you that day,” I say. “Telling me you’d want to apologize, because you’d finally fixed yourself?”

“Huh?” he asks. “When did I do that?”

“You texted me,” I say. “Saying to come to the garage so you could apologize to me.”

“I didn’t do that,” he said. “You came to see me, but I wasn’t there, then Vinny got…”

He trails off.

I pull out my phone and open our text messages. “Look.”

He reads it. “I don’t write like this.”

We both look at each other for a long moment, and then we laugh at the same time.

“Fucking Gio,” he says, grinning.

“You seriously didn’t see that text?” I ask. “When you went to text me the next time?”

Luca shrugs. “I don’t look backward, only forward.”

“So Gio tried to fix things between us,” I say. “When I showed up and you weren’t there, he looked so nervous. Kept trying to keep me there too.”

We both get quiet. I’m playing everything out in my mind, wondering if we would have ended up back together if not for Gio’s intervention. Maybe, or maybe not.