I loved Jade. So fucking much. But we were going to have to talk about this rough sex thing. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, but it was too easy for me to lose control. In the heat of it, my body’s pleasure fogged out all other thoughts, all other senses except those involved in the intersection between us. And if I ever hurt her…

I shook my head. I couldn’t bear it. When the sex got rough, I got lost in the pleasure, fucking high on it, but I felt like shit after. Especially this time.

Even though she’d finally said “I love you” and agreed to move in, it was like we’d gone backward. Back to that first night when I’d taken her hard in the club, when she’d freaked when our eye contact made her feel something real.

I set down my glass beside the one I’d filled for her. She’d been gone longer than I expected, and even though it had only been long enough for me to drink two glasses of water, I couldn’t wait to hold her again, to fall asleep with her cuddled in my arms. I should change the sheets.

I walked into the bedroom. Something was scattered over my bed.

It was the card I’d given her.

Love swept through me even harder. The card was torn into pieces, but she’d kept it. Even when she’d been so angry with me, she’d kept it, the girl who kept nothing. But why scatter it on my bed? And why now?

We needed to talk. I pulled on my jeans and headed out the door.

Someone was pulling a suitcase on the courtyard below, the wheels grinding the concrete, and I glanced over the railing, curious to see who was off on a trip before dawn.

My heart froze. “Jade!” I yelled down.

She walked faster, passing the pool.

Shoeless, I raced down, taking three or four stairs at a time, grabbing onto the railings and swinging around the landings. When I got to the bottom, she was already opening the gate that led to the sidewalk, and I ran as fast as I could, catching a glimpse of her as she rounded the corner, uphill from Shady Oaks.

“Jade! Stop! What the hell?” She’d gone the opposite direction from the main part of town, from anywhere she could easily catch a bus or a cab—likely hoping I’d head the other way.

When she realized I’d foiled her plan, she stopped. She took a visibly long breath, her shoulders heaving like I was some chore she had to endure. She didn’t even turn, didn’t release the tight grip on her suitcase handle.

“What’s going on?”

“What did you expect?” she asked when I got close.

I stepped around to face her. “I don’t understand.” I could barely talk. Out of breath and out of ideas about what I’d done wrong. Something so wrong she was leaving? Without telling me?

“Where are you going?” I reached toward her. “How long will you be gone?”

“Forever and none of your fucking business.” Her face was full of fury.

And now I was mad, too. “This is the way you deal with problems?” I asked her. “Running away? With no explanation? Without even telling me what I did wrong? Fuck you.”

“Fuck you, you liar.”

“Liar? When did I lie?”

Lights went on in the house beside us, and a man banged on his window. “It’s six o’clock in the morning!” he shouted at us.

We were yelling. “Let’s go home and talk,” I said, frustration churning inside me. Frustration coupled with fear. What if she really did leave? For real. How would I live? How would I breathe?

“There’s nothing left to talk about.” She tried to step around me.

I picked her up in a fireman’s hold, draped over my shoulder. Her suitcase dropped from her hand, and I caught the handle as I turned around.

“Put me down.” She punched at my back and started to kick.

“Keep kicking and I’m giving your suitcase to the homeless guy down the street.”

She kicked again, twisting her body on my shoulder.

“Suitcase feels heavy,” I said, “like maybe you’ve got your Grandma’s frying pan inside?”

Threatened with that loss, she stopped kicking and I held her tightly, one arm strapped across her upper thighs as I walked around the corner and back into the Shady Oaks courtyard.

If she’d packed her pan, she was leaving. For good.

“Put me down,” she said as we walked into the courtyard, “or I’ll never speak to you again.”

“Seems like that ship’s already sailed.” Plus, if I let her down, she’d just run, run out of my life forever. I didn’t loosen my grip.

She pounded on my back. “You were right the other night. You’re nothing but a brute. All brawn, no brains. This proves it. You treat women like possessions. You fuck like a wild animal. There’s nothing to you but muscle and cock.”

I dropped her suitcase, then plopped her down on her feet. My anger was now pain-tinged, and the combination was confusing. I could barely think.

“Just tell me.” My body felt limp. “What did I do?”

“Enjoy your money,” she said. “I made myself perfectly clear. Many times. You made your choice. I will not be with a criminal.”

I shook my head, relief drifting in. “I didn’t go, Jade. I didn’t go. I didn’t do it.”

She tipped her head to the side, her eyes narrow, her cheeks the cutest shade of pink. I was even attracted to pissed-off Jade.

And I finally understood. She expected everyone to let her down, and she thought I’d lived up to her worst expectations. I almost had.

“Ask my brothers,” I said. “I didn’t show. I didn’t do it. Let’s see if they’re back. They’ll tell you.” I started toward Keagan’s door, but she grabbed my arm.

“Really? You didn’t go?”

I shook my head, looking into her eyes, knowing she’d see through me if I held anything back. “I thought about it. I almost went. I wanted to do the job so I could give you your restaurant. I wanted to do that for you, for us. Plus, I want to quit my job at Solid Gold. It makes me sick to my stomach to go in there now.”

“So quit.”

“I can’t. Nicola…”

“What aren’t you telling me?” Her hand extended toward me a few inches, but dropped back.

“Turns out Nicola owns the club. She threatened me—threatened us all if I left. Me, you, our families.”

“You’re that valuable to her? I mean…”

I shook my head. “I agree. It doesn’t make sense. I think she’s bluffing, but if I quit we can’t live at Shady Oaks. Neither of us. We’ll both be homeless. And at least one of us should be working if we have any chance of landing a new place to live.”

I watched her lungs fill, like she’d been deflated and fresh air was filling her with hope and—maybe this was wishful thinking—love.

“I’m sorry.” She stepped toward me. “I said terrible things. I should have known.”

“You should have at least asked.”

“I know. I assumed…” She shook her head as if trying to sort out what had happened, shake out the horrible places her mind must have gone.

I stepped back from her. “You were already leaving. Already packed. If you knew you were going, why did you fuck me?” My stomach flipped. “And for god’s sake, why did you want me to… I hurt you. Didn’t I?”

She pressed her hands into her temples and collapsed into a crouch.

The sight nearly broke me. I dropped down and pulled her back up with me, crushed her into my chest. “Baby, tell me.”

“I’m so fucked up, Nick. I thought if I made you hurt me—”

I leaned back to see her face. “Oh, god. I’m so sorry.” I kissed her forehead. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. I knew I was hurting you… Shit. I am a fucking animal.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I wanted you to hurt me. I wanted to hate you, hate everything about you so I wouldn’t miss what we have.”

I sucked in a hard breath.

“But even the anal…,” she continued. “Once I got used to it… Nick, I don’t think you’re capable of hurting me. I feel like your body knows just how far you can take it with me.”

I looked into her eyes. She was telling the truth.

“Does that mean you trust me?”

“Yes.” A smile broke onto her face. “You’re my first, you know. I was a trust virgin. Even my sister… I’ve never fully trusted anyone before now.”

“Promise me,” I said.

“Promise you what?”

“That you won’t do that again.” I held her close. “When I make another mistake, and I will—shit—I’m not perfect… Promise me we’ll talk. That you won’t run off.”

“I promise, Nick. I’m so sorry.” She leaned back to look into my eyes. “Nick Downey, I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve everything in the world, Jade Cuoco. Certainly me.”

Her eyes changed, filling with a sadness that hurt inside my chest.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“I was so scared, Nick. I still am.”

“Scared of what?”

“I don’t know. That I’ve shown you too much—all my ugly, crazy stuff. Scared that you’ll leave me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. Not ever, if you’ll have me. You’ve made me believe I can do more than I ever imagined. You’ve planted wants in my mind. Dreams. Dreams for me, for us. You’ve already made me better, and you make me want to be even better than that.”

“I love you so much, Nick.”

“I love you, too.” I crushed her lips beneath mine. Probing into her mouth with my tongue. I lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around my waist, filling my entire body with joy and an absolute love for this girl—my perfect match in every possible way.

Our kiss went on for a minute, or an hour, I couldn’t begin to be sure, and then the gate to the street clanged closed, invading the magical bubble surrounding us.

I tried to erase the intrusion by deepening our kiss.

“Nick!” Mac yelled. “Fuck, man. Get a room, Brute Squad.”

Jade pulled away from my lips, but stayed in my arms, and I carried her toward the staircase—we did need a room. Then I turned back, remembering to grab her suitcase.

Shane and Dillon entered the courtyard behind Mac.

Spotting me, Shane raced forward, his face distorted with fury. “It’s your fucking fault,” he yelled, pointing toward me. “Happy now? Are you?”

I shrugged. I was pretty goddamned happy.

“You should have listened,” Shane spat out. “It was a five-man job. It would have been a piece of cake if you’d come, but no. You’re too good for us now. You and that little twat.”

I set Jade down and punched Shane in the jaw. He stumbled to the side, nearly falling.

Dillon and Mac stepped in between us, hands up. But I was already done. Shane was not worth more punches.

Holding my arm, Jade asked my brothers, “What’s wrong?”

“Keagan.” Mac shook his head. “Keagan got arrested.”