Chapter Twenty-One

Chastity

My apartment was still mostly empty, but I at least had a sofa and a bed now. It was nice because it meant I didn’t have to stay in that hotel anymore. I was excited knowing I could actually stay in my own home for the first time. I sipped a glass of sparkling water as I lay curled up in my bed, feeling incredibly lonely. Jordan and his men had done a nice job on my place, so far, but the work wasn’t yet finished. My bedroom was complete, but the door was still in the midst of being installed.

They’d accomplished quite a bit, but there was still a long way to go. Knowing the crew would be coming around my place for the foreseeable future made my stomach knot up and sent a sharp lance of pain shooting through my heart. The idea of seeing Jordan, of crossing paths with him, killed me.

Especially since I knew I was carrying his child.

That was exactly why I needed to make this call. I stared down at my phone and my heart ached as I thought about punching in the numbers and having the conversation that needed to happen. I wanted so badly to believe we could somehow work things out, that maybe we’d be able to mend things and move forward together once Jordan calmed down. But, the reality was he wasn’t cut out for this life. He wasn’t equipped to deal with the realities of my world. It would only end up hurting both of us.

There was a spare room in my place and even thinking about that brought a wave of sadness crashing down over me. I’d intended to turn the spare into a guest room, but now it was going to be a nursery. The idea of creating a nursery, and doing it all by myself, filled me with a heavy sense of fear and trepidation.

I knew it had to be done, but I was having trouble actually doing it. There was no way Jordan could work on this project any longer. Not with the changes I had to make. I didn’t want him to know and I couldn’t have him in my place anymore. It just wasn’t feasible and would only lead to more stress, heartache, and pain.

I picked up my phone and dialed Jackson Construction’s main number, praying that someone would answer – someone other than Jordan.

“Jackson Construction, this is Nick Jackson,” the voice said on the other line.

Nick Jackson – he was listed as the owner on the business card I was looking at. Which meant he was Jordan’s father – the grandfather of my child. My heart sank a little deeper – something I didn’t even think possible – and I had to fight off the sudden and overwhelming urge to hang up. I needed to put on my big girl panties and do what needed to be done, so I stayed on the line.

“Hi, Mr. Jackson? This is Chastity Childes,” I said, my voice coming out softer than I’d intended. “I was wondering if you had a moment?”

“Of course,” the man said. “What can I help you with, Ms. Childes?”

“Please, call me Chastity,” I said, clearing my throat and then doing my best to power through my prepared speech. “I was wondering, if it’s possible, to get another foreman assigned to my project?”

“Is there a problem with Jordan?” he asked, his voice sounding low and tense.

“No, not at all,” I lied.

I bit my lip as I tried to remember the excuse I’d conjured up out of thin air. Despite everything that happened between us, I didn’t want to get Jordan in trouble with his father, but I also couldn’t handle working with him anymore. I couldn’t deal with seeing him regularly. Not anymore.

“It’s just – well, I think we might have different ideas about what I want done, that’s all,” I said, trying to sound more upbeat and casual than I felt. “It’s not that big of a deal and I know I can be a little high maintenance and difficult at times. I wouldn’t want this to hurt him professionally, I just think –”

I trailed off, trying to remember the next part of my speech. I racked my brain as my heart raced, but for the life of me, I couldn’t recall the remarks I’d prepared ahead of time.

“It’s okay, Ms. Childes,” he said. “If you’d like someone else in charge, no matter the reason, we will make it happen. Our singular goal and focus is to make sure you’re happy and satisfied with everything about your new home.”

“Thank you,” I said.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I wiped them away as quickly as I could even though the man on the other end couldn’t see me. I bit my lip again, trying to hold in all the emotion, knowing that if my voice quavered or broke, he’d hear it. He’d know there was more going on than I was saying. I knew that would come back and bite Jordan in the ass and that was the last thing I wanted.

“I appreciate it. There are also some changes I’d like to make regarding the plans, but these changes will need to be made confidentially,” I said. “No one must know about them. Not even Jordan. This will be kept between you, me, and your new foreman because I do not want any of this getting out to the press. Or anybody else for that matter. It’s my business and nobody else’s. I’d like to keep it that way.”

Mr. Jackson was quiet for a moment before asking, “This doesn’t have anything to do with the press hounding Jordan, does it? The rumors and all?”

So he did know. At least, he knew a little bit. Knowing that, I knew I had to tread carefully, so as to avoid giving anything away.

“No, not really,” I stammered, my prepared little script now completely shot and useless. “I mean, not in the way you think. I just fear Jordan may not be able to handle the media circus that comes with being around someone like me. It’s not his fault, he’s just not used to it. Personally, I’d prefer not to give the press anything more to talk about. I think they’ve done enough damage as it is.”

“I understand, Ms. Childes,” he said. “And don’t worry, I’ll assign a new foreman to the job. I’ll have him start tomorrow, and anything else that happens from this point forward will be kept strictly confidential, as requested. You have my word.”

“Thank you,” I said.

The real reason for the confidentiality was I didn’t want word getting out to Jordan that I was adding a nursery to my home rather than a guest room. He couldn’t know about this life growing inside of me. As much as motherhood scared me, the idea of forcing a man to be a father – when I had no idea how he felt about having a child, not to mention that he clearly wasn’t cut out for the job of being in my life – sounded even worse.

If he couldn’t handle the intense pressure of the press while dating me, being the father of my child would only bring more scrutiny. It was something he didn’t need, and neither did I. There were enough things for me to worry and stress about in my life as it was.

With my hand still trembling, I hung up the phone and curled back in my bed. There was so much I had to do before the baby arrived, and getting the nursery ready was only the tip of the iceberg. It wasn’t all bad, but it was stressful – especially given that I’d be doing it all alone. I hadn’t planned for any of this. Truth be told, I didn’t want any of this. Not right now. Not at this point of my life. We don’t always get to choose the timing of those things that alter our worlds so drastically. Unfortunately.

“Women do it all the time,” I muttered to myself. “We’ll be just fine. I can do this. I know I can.”

There was a knock at my door and I sat bolt upright. The knocking had startled me enough that I had bumped my nightstand and when I tried to save the glass of water from falling, I managed to spill it all over the front of my night shirt. I rolled out of bed, dabbing at the wet spot as I cursed myself. I wasn’t expecting anyone. And given that this was a secure building, I had no idea who was on the other side of the door since I hadn’t buzzed anybody through.

My heart raced as I thought about who it might be.

The idea that it was Jordan coming by to apologize sent a flutter through my heart and I felt a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. I was suddenly filled with hope as I rushed to the front door, not even using the security camera to see who it might be before pulling it open.

I tried to keep my face neutral as the door opened, but when I saw Patrick standing there instead of Jordan, my face fell as quickly as my heart and my hopes had. I knew I must have looked disappointed, but if he noticed it, Patrick didn’t seem to care. He smiled brightly at me, holding out a bottle of champagne.

“For you,” he said. “I have dinner on the way as well. I hope you’re in the mood for sushi.”

I blinked a few times, staring at him for a long time before asking, “But why?”

“Why not?” he said, shrugging as he walked right into my place. “I figured you probably needed it,” he said. “After what happened and all.”

He walked into my still unfinished kitchen and opened a few cabinets before finding the glasses. Pulling two of my wine glasses out of the cupboard, he set them down on the island in the kitchen – the island Jordan and I had sex on. The thought sent a warm sensation through my intimate parts, but a stab of pain through my chest.

Popping open the bottle, Patrick poured the champagne into the glasses and then handed me one of them. I took it, but then placed it right back down on the counter without so much as a sip. Patrick raised an eyebrow at me.

“You’re turning down champagne?” he asked. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Not really,” I said. “I’m really not in the mood for any of this. I really appreciate it, Patrick, but I just can’t do this. I’m sorry. I kind of need to be alone right now.”

Patrick took a long drink from his glass before setting it down on the counter. Completely ignoring me, he turned and started opening more cabinets until he found some plates, pulling them out and placing them on the island.

He shook his head and muttered. “No table yet, huh?”

“Not yet. I haven’t chosen one yet,” I said.

“I guess we’ll have to eat in our laps like proper heathens then,” he said, perking right back up.

“I’ve already eaten,” I lied.

I didn’t want to eat mainly because I knew sushi, while pregnant, could be questionable. I’d read it somewhere and although I didn’t have all of the facts or science behind it at my fingertips, I didn’t want to take any chances until I was sure. I couldn’t explain that to Patrick, though. Not without telling him I was pregnant – and that was definitely not a conversation I wanted to have with him. No one knew just yet, and I was hoping to keep it that way for as long as possible.

It was a secret I needed to keep and one I intended to guard with my life for as long as I could. Which, given the way pregnancies played out, would probably only be a few months or so. It would still be a few months free from reporters and tabloid trash hounding my every step, trying to get me to say something. It would be a few months of peace that would allow me to get my business a little more firmly off the ground.

More than anything, that’s what I needed right now – to focus on my business. Not just for the distraction it would give me, but for the security having my company turning a profit and gaining even more publicity would give me. I had a child I needed to start preparing for, and the best way I could do that, was to have a successful company that was actually making money.

Patrick shook his head as if not comprehending what I’d meant about wanting to be alone. He looked at me with the look of a lost puppy dog. I felt bad, but I really wasn’t in the mood.

“But it’s from Kyoto’s,” he said. “I know how much you love that place.”

“I do,” I said, putting on a fake smile. “And I appreciate the gesture, I really do, Patrick. It’s incredibly sweet, but –”

Patrick stepped around the island and walked toward me, taking my glass of champagne off the island and placing it back in my hand.

“Listen, I know you’re hurting, but seriously, Chastity,” he said. “He’s not worth all of this upset and angst. He was a loser anyway and you deserve a hell of a lot better than that meathead could have ever given you. That man was beneath you, Chastity.”

I wanted to argue, to tell Patrick he was wrong about Jordan. Part of me wanted to tell him that Jordan was so much more than met the eye. But, I knew it was pointless. There was no reason to keep defending him. We were over. That’s all there was to it.

Patrick continued. “At least with Charles, he had some class and –”

“Charles stole from me, remember?” I said, hearing the heat in my voice.

As I stood there, I felt the rage boiling inside of me. I put the glass down without drinking again, crossing my arms in front of me defensively, fighting off the wave of dark anger that was rising within me like a malevolent tide.

“He literally stole my designs and ran off to create them himself,” I said through gritted teeth. “You call that class, Patrick?”

Patrick sighed and rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean, Chastity,” he said. “He actually had a real job and didn’t get paid just to put holes in walls. He was well educated, cultured, and moved in better circles. ”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said, rolling my eyes. “If you consider stealing from me and then profiting off my work, a job.”

Patrick put his hand on my shoulder, stepping closer to me than I liked. Patrick and Charles had worked closely together, back when Charles had been a contributor for my brand. They were even friendly – perhaps a bit too friendly, as I thought more about it – but Patrick had never given me any reason to not trust him. Until that moment, when he was suddenly defending the man who nearly ruined me only a year prior. Charles had almost destroyed everything I was fighting to build and Patrick was still speaking about him in glowing terms, with a genuine affection for the walking, talking pile of garbage that Charles was. That fact alone not only angered me, it made me sick to my stomach.

“Listen, Chastity, I didn’t mean anything by it, okay? I know what happened between you and Charles, and I’m sorry I said anything,” he said. I relaxed a bit, but then he added, “Especially since you’re in a sensitive state of mind as it is and might not be able to look at things completely clearly or objectively.”

“Sensitive state of mind? Not looking at things clearly or objectively?” I spat, stepping back from him. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, it means – nothing,” Patrick sighed.

He shook his head almost like he felt sorry for me – which only served to stoke the fires of anger within me even higher. When I continued glaring at him, he held up a hand and opened his mouth again to cut me off.

“I just meant that that you’re hurting, and you need some time to heal,” he added quickly. “Which is why you should probably consider taking some time off. That’s all I was trying to get around to, Chastity. Nothing more.”

I shook my head. “I can’t and you know it, Patrick.”

“I can handle all your meetings,” he said. “I can be your delegate and sit in for you. I can handle everything while you take a little time to recuperate.”

I stared at him for a long time, considering what he was saying, rather than just rejecting it out of hand. On one hand, what he said made sense. It would be nice to let someone else take over the business side of things for a bit. Not having to deal with the day-to-day stresses would allow me a chance to heal and relax. With so much to do for my company, and also having to prepare for a baby, I knew my time to relax, let alone heal would be non-existent.

There was something bothering me. It nagged at me like a splinter in the back of my mind. Lately, Patrick had been acting strangely. He’d just been – odd. Call me paranoid, but I couldn’t bring myself to hand over control of my company to him. Not after what had happened with Charles. I doubted he had such nefarious intentions, but I never thought Charles did either.

The idea that Patrick could be making a bid to screw me over and out of my company sent a cold chill down my spine and only made me more determined to tighten my grip on everything I was building.

“You know I can handle it, Chastity. I mean, I’m practically handling day-to-day ops as it is,” he pressed. “And we both know you could use some time away. With some time off you could come back better and stronger than ever.”

“No, I can’t, Patrick,” I said, shaking my head as I walked to the door. “And while I appreciate you stopping by, I really need to get some rest, so if you wouldn’t mind –”

I held the door open and waited for him to take the hint. I knew Patrick well, and part of me expected a dramatic exit. I half-expected him to be upset and throw a shit fit because I was rejecting his advances and his meal – not to mention his offer to take over my company for me.

Instead of getting upset and overly-dramatic, he simply smirked, which simultaneously surprised me and sent a cold chill slithering up my spine.

“Alright, I’ll see myself out and give you some time alone. Time you obviously and quite desperately need,” he said. “But please, at least think about my offer? You’ve been through so much lately, and I only want to ease your burden, Chastity. All I want –”

“Goodnight, Patrick,” I said with a heavy sigh.

Once he stepped into the hallway, I closed the door, and rubbed my temples. While Patrick and I used to be incredibly close, things hadn’t been the same since Charles split from the company and formed his own brand – mimicking many of my design choices and building his company off the work I’d done. The designs I’d created. Not him. Me.

To this day, he often seemed to come out with similar designs, weeks before ours were released. Maybe it was a coincidence – maybe I was predictable, as Patrick had suggested on more than a few occasions.

But there was part of me that was paranoid. I worried I might have a mole within my company who was feeding Charles my work.

The more Patrick insisted on me giving over control of my company to him, the more paranoid I became.