CHAPTER 20
Laken
I square my shoulders, take a deep breath, and open the door to Central Cafe. Jake had called me early this morning and asked if I’d meet him and Darby for breakfast there before I opened the clinic. He was going to be taking her to Raleigh after to catch a flight back to Illinois. Kelly had left the day before to meet her boyfriend in the Keys and had taken the rental car to the airport, which is why Jake had to drive Darby to Raleigh for her flight.
I haven’t seen Jake since I walked in on the intimate moment with him and Kelly two days ago. And when I say intimate, I do know their relationship is nothing but friends now. But they are close friends and they still share a bond, and damn if that didn’t make me insanely jealous. It forced me to admit, finally, I might actually be dating Jake contrary to how much I deny that, and I really felt a bit foolish.
That’s not why I haven’t seen him though. That night I’d had a family dinner and he had Kelly and Darby to entertain. The next day was Pap’s surgery, and I spent most of the afternoon and early evening at the hospital. By the time I was being shooed out of the hospital along with the rest of the family, I wanted nothing but my dog and my bed.
That was nothing against Jake, but I was just so exhausted I didn’t have anything to give at all. Jake, because he’s Jake and is wonderful, totally understood.
Pap’s surgery went well. Actually very well considering he’s eighty-one. Sure, he’s in decent shape for his age, but going under the knife for a major operation and anesthesia is no joking matter. We were all a bundle of nerves while he was in surgery, and it wasn’t until the surgeon came out to tell us that it went very well that we were able to breathe a tiny sigh of relief.
Jake had texted me throughout that afternoon to check in and see how things were going. He offered to come up to the hospital, but I put him off. I did this because I was afraid that if I saw him, it would be too apparent how much I really wanted and needed him there, and I wasn’t ready to admit that to myself, much less to my family and Jake. So I put him off and he respected that, although he kept close tabs on the situation.
He called me just before I was ready to crash that night in my bed with Herman, and only to wish me a good, restful sleep. It was sweet.
So damn sweet it made my chest ache.
When Jake asked me to breakfast this morning, regardless if there was going to be another person there with us, I was just beyond ready to see him. The two days we’d been apart were decidedly lacking for me. I felt it down to my bones, and it made me realize that Jake is something special I’d come to crave and perhaps depend upon.
His wit and humor. His care and sweetness. His hotness. Oh, man… his hotness. His confidence in not only himself, but those around him. He’s an affirming man, and he makes you feel good about yourself.
Yes, I’d come to realize that Jake was unlike any other man I’d ever been with. Frankly, it scared the hell out of me.
It also gives me a thrill of excitement as I step inside Central Cafe and lock eyes on him. He’s sitting at a table with a woman, but I don’t even spare her a glance. I can only watch when he stands from the table as I approach, holding a hand out to me. His smile is warm, welcoming, and wistful. His eyes tell me not only that he’s missed me the past two days, but also that he appreciates very much what he’s looking at right now.
When I put my palm against his, he pulls me to him for a soft kiss that makes my cheeks heat up over his public display of affection, yet I wouldn’t trade that kiss for the world.
“Laken… this is my sister-in-law Darby,” Jake says as he nods down at the table.
I manage to tear my eyes away from Jake to take in Darby Culhane. She looks nothing like her sister, but what I see on that sincere freckled face and within the light blue eyes I find I like immediately.
Darby smiles and holds a hand out. “Well, technically I’m the ex-sister-in-law, but semantics.”
“I was going to call you my annoying-ex-sister-in-law-who-is-like-a-little-sister, but it takes too long to say,” Jake grumbles as Darby and I shake hands.
“It’s a complicated relationship,” Darby says as she releases my hand. I slide into a chair that Jake pulls out for me. “Who would have thought two people could get a divorce and still be such good friends?”
“It’s kind of strange,” I admit. “Divorce is supposed to be ugly and brutal with divisive lines. Or so I’ve seen on TV.”
Both Darby and Jake laugh, which is a fortuitous time for Muriel to come over and pour me some coffee. Darby and Jake already have full cups.
“Know what y’all want?” Muriel says without even pulling her pad out to write down our orders. She’s got a mind like a steel trap, and if she were to get your order wrong by some chance, all the food is so good you wouldn’t really complain.
We each give her our orders and she promises them in a jiffy. After I doctor up my coffee, I take a grateful sip before looking at Darby. “So… you’re going to be moving here in a few weeks?”
She nods, her eyes flashing with excitement. “I’m really ready for this change in my life. And Jake’s been so damn wonderful buying this farm so I can work toward my thesis. I feel like I’m in a dream.”
My eyes cut to Jake, and I’m surprised to see his cheeks redden as he takes a sip of coffee himself.
And then it really, fully, truly hits me what Jake has done. He didn’t buy this farm for a tax write-off. That’s just a side benefit. He bought a freaking farm for his ex-sister-in-law so she could make a better life for herself.
Jake glances at me over the rim of his cup, and I can see it in his eyes. He knows that I know what a good guy he is, and his sheepish grin tells me it slightly embarrasses him.
So I give him a pass and turn back to Darby. It was important to Jake that I meet her today, and I think he wants Darby to have some connection here, especially since Jake won’t be here forever.
The thought of him leaving makes my stomach cramp slightly, but I can’t think about that now. He’s given no indication that is going to happen anytime soon, so I need to put it out of my mind.
“Jake says you have a daughter,” I say to make conversation.
Darby nods and the smile on her face tells me everything. She’s a mother in absolute love with her daughter, and that daughter would be the most important thing in the world to her. “Linnie. She’s three and a half, and she’s amazing. Bright. Funny. Has her aunt Kelly’s snark, and she’s just such a good kid. I’m really excited to get her down here and away from…”
Darby’s words trail off, and I can only imagine what she was going to say. Jake didn’t tell me much other than Darby’s soon to be ex-husband was not a nice guy, so I assume she means from him.
That’s very personal, though, and Darby catches herself. She shakes her head and gives me a sheepish grin. “Listen to me rambling on. Jake’s told me a lot about you. Your family has the other big farm in the area, right?”
“Mainer Farms,” I tell her proudly. “Eighth generation farmers.”
“I’d love to see it sometime,” she says wistfully. “I grew up on a large commercial farm in Iowa. A lot different and very mechanized. But that’s where I got my love for crop sciences.”
“Maybe I can get my brother Colt to give you a tour when you come back,” I say to open up some conversation about the grant. “He’s the only one of my siblings who works the farm with my parents. He does a good chunk of it actually.”
Darby’s face flushes, and I can tell by that look Jake has definitely told her about Colt being upset about the grant.
I love my family. They mean more to me than anything, and the success of our farm is important to me. Colt is even more important to me. But I also need to let Darby know my position on the matter so she isn’t uncomfortable.
“Darby,” I say softly, and her eyes lock onto mine across the table. “That grant is available to any farm in this county. There is nothing that says you can’t go after it. Just because my brother is bent out of shape doesn’t mean I am.”
“I don’t want to cause any bad feelings,” Darby says in a rush. “Especially because of you and Jake… and well, you know… you two are… um…”
“Dating,” Jake says emphatically, and to my surprise, I don’t even have the desire to correct him.
I don’t look at him, though, and just nod to Darby so she gets it all out. “But this grant is crucial to my thesis and my resume. I want to apply to a huge crop sciences research corporation here and part of working in R&D is in applying for grants. I know that seems to put my personal needs above your family’s, but—”
“It doesn’t matter,” I cut her off. “Like I said, that grant is there for anyone to apply for. If you need to do it, you do it. Colt will just have to live with it, and he’ll just have to try harder to get it.”
Darby gives me an appreciative nod, and Jake’s hand slides under the table to grip my thigh in a squeeze of gratitude. I don’t dare look at him as I might feel compelled to slump over until my lips mash against his.
We spend the rest of breakfast talking about Darby’s move, and she and I exchange phone numbers. I assure her she can call me for anything, and we make tentative plans to get together when she returns.
Jake pays our bill when he says it’s time for them to hit the road, and we all walk out of Central Cafe together. Jake’s rental is parked parallel on the street just half a block down. I walk with them, and I don’t shirk away when Jake takes my hand in his.
He opens the door for Darby. When she settles herself into the passenger seat, he closes it gently. I take a step back, but he’s having none of it, his hands going to my waist to pull me close to him.
“Can I see you tonight?” he asks as his eyes bore into mine, and I know the need in them is probably mirroring my own. It’s been a long two days without.
“Of course,” I tell him, and lean in to give him a sendoff kiss so he can get to the airport.
Instead, his hands move to my shoulders to hold me slightly away from him. My head tilts in question.
“Pap still getting out of the hospital tomorrow?” Jake asks.
“Yeah… that’s the plan,” I confirm. Pap has done amazing since the surgery and his “innards all seem to be working fine” is what he told Mama last night. She then relayed it to us kids.
Jake nods, looks down the street for a moment, and then back to me. “I know you’ll want to do some visiting with him.”
I just nod at him, because he’s being a little weird right now and I’m not sure what he wants me to say.
“I’ve got to go back to Chicago on Sunday,” he says, and I’m not prepared for the crushing feeling that takes root in the center of my chest, because I can hear it in his voice.
He means he’s going back for good.
“But… Miss Goatikins,” I stammer, because she’s my only real hope of keeping him here.
“Things have been so busy with Kelly and Darby being here, and Pap’s surgery, that I didn’t get to tell you. MG’s eating from Carlos as well as nursing a little from her dam.”
“That’s great,” I say with a plastic smile, cringing internally as I hope Jake doesn’t notice how fake that sounds even to myself.
Jake nods distractedly, and I can tell his mind is far away from his little goat. He slides his hands from my shoulders up my neck to frame my face. “I don’t know when I’ll be back. Darby will be here in two weeks, Carlos is doing fine, and well… MG doesn’t need me.”
I bite down on my tongue so I don’t scream, But I need you.
And oh, God. This is it. It’s goodbye.
“Will you come to Chicago to see me next weekend?” Jake says, and I jerk in surprise by the invitation as I obviously wasn’t expecting it.
“You want me to come to Chicago?”
“Yes,” he says with a smile. “You can get some big city that you love, and we can maybe catch a baseball game or something.”
My gaze falls to the sidewalk, and I stare at my work boots and Jake’s fancy loafers standing almost toe to toe.
“What’s the problem, Laken?” Jake asks, and I’m forced to look up to him to answer.
“You want to still see each other?”
Jake digs his teeth down into his lower lip for a moment, then says, “I like you, Laken. I’m not ready for this to end, and I thought maybe we could see each other long distance. You could come up to me some weekends, and I could come down here. I have no clue if it’s workable, but I’d like to try.”
My mind starts trying to filter through every single reason why I should say no, and I can’t think of a single one. I like Jake. I do want to continue to see him. I think I could get crazy about him too, as long as we continue to take things slowly and I can continue to build trust.
“I couldn’t come a lot,” I point out. “I’m not made of gold like you, so I can’t afford too many plane trips there.”
Jake grins at me. “I’ll buy your plane tickets so that’s not a problem.”
I don’t smile back. “Actually… it is a problem. If you want me to come to you, then I’ll pay for my own fare.”
No way am I going to fall back into a trap where some man snookers me with trips and jewelry and other luxuries. That’s not been an issue here because Jake’s been just like a regular farmer dude while he’s been here. He’s going back to a lifestyle that I know a little about and don’t trust at all.
“Okay,” he says with a nod. “You pay for your ticket. But I’m paying for everything else because it’s a date weekend and that’s just the old-fashioned way I roll.”
“Fine,” I say with a smirk. “Then I’ll come this weekend. I have to change a few appointments, but they were just routine exams I can put off to the following weekend.”
“Awesome,” Jake says, and this time his smile is blinding. He pulls me in and my mouth touches his for the softest, sweetest kiss he’s ever bestowed on me. When we break apart, he murmurs, “That makes me very happy.”
“It makes me happy, too,” I tell him honestly.