“Damn Sunshine, you look like shit,” Devil’s voice grates from behind me. I close my eyes, stopping my axe mid swing. I turn to look over my shoulder at the asshole. I grunt at him and then turn back around to smash the axe into the waiting wood. “Always so welcoming. Is it any wonder you’ve been living out here by yourself, rotting away?” Devil adds, proving he’s not going to just disappear.

“Get the fuck out of here,” I growl. I don’t want company. I’ve told Diesel that. I’ve told Dani and Crusher that. I’ve even told Skull and Beth that when they decided to come visit. I don’t want any of them here. Devil’s not wrong. I am rotting away, but then that’s what I want.

“So sweet. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” he jokes, and this time when the axe strikes the wood, I might be imagining it is his head.

“No, but you should see the shit I’ve done to your mother with it.”

“Probably. My mother is a whore. You might want to get tested,” Devil jokes with a laugh. The laugh only gets louder when I flip him off.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, propping up another piece of wood to split.

“Skull found a lead about your woman, and though he told me you weren’t interested anymore, I thought I’d take a chance. You know, on the off chance that you’ve managed to pull your head out of your ass.”

“I don’t have any interest in Hayden anymore. She’s gone,” I tell him, lying through my teeth. I miss her smile, her laugh and her eyes. I really miss her eyes. I miss the way they used to shine with happiness, or glow with need when I was driving into her body. My hands shake like some coke-head going through withdrawals, which is essentially what I am. Still, I don’t need Devil or anyone to update me about Hayden. I know she’s safe. I’ve kept in touch with Victor this past month. The only difference is that now she is hiding from me as well as Blade.

“I wonder how many times a day you say that shit? Have you been able to make yourself believe it yet?” he asks, sitting on an old stump across from me. I grab another piece of wood and split it with my axe, before finally responding.

“Is there a reason you’re here busting my balls?” I ask him, taking a break and using the handle of the axe as a cane to lean on. I’m dead tired. I’ve been splitting wood since daybreak and it’s now almost two in the afternoon. I don’t need the wood, I’m just that frustrated.

“Skull sent this to Diesel. He said your stubborn ass might want to see it.”

“I told you I don’t have a fucking thing to do with Hayden anymore. That part of my life is over—dead and gone,” I tell him, and the words cause that open wound inside of me to hurt again. It’s hurt every day I’ve been without Hayden—and it’s only getting worse.

“Oh,” Devil says taking out a well-worn folded piece of paper and holding it loosely between two of his fingers. “I guess Diesel was right when he said you wouldn’t want to know that Hayden was on the move again,” he adds, waving the paper around.

“He was right,” I lie. I want to yank that fucking piece of paper out of his hands. She can’t be on the move. Victor would have told me…he would have told me if she was leaving Boston.

Devil is watching me. I know he is, because I can feel his eyes on me. They’re burning a hole through me. I try to pretend like I’m busy sifting through the small cooler sitting beside me. I grab a beer and open it, guzzling it down, while trying to block him out. When I hear the crinkling of paper, I can’t stop myself from turning around. I do my best not to flinch, but I don’t think I fully succeed. When Devil smirks, I’m positive. He takes his eyes off of me for a quick minute and then takes aim. I watch as he tosses the paper into a large bucket by the wall of the barn. The bucket is overflowing with rain water because it stormed all night. I resist the urge to yank the paper out of there, before the information can’t be read. It’s not easy.

“Too bad. I hate to think of poor Hayden all alone in a hospital room.”

“Hospital?” I roughly exhale the word, because it suddenly feels like I can’t breathe. Victor promised me he was keeping her safe and that he would let me know the minute Blade showed up. Did Blade get to her? Did he hurt her when I wasn’t there to keep her safe? Had I failed Maggie, just like I failed Annabelle?

“Checked her in yesterday. She was having contractions.”

“Contractions? But she’s not due yet.”

“Some women go early. Or so I’m told. I know next to fucking nothing about that—thank God,” he laughs. I ignore him, walking over and grabbing the now soaked paper. I unkink the wrinkles in it, trying to unfold it. Devil is laughing his ass off at me. I vow when I get this damn paper fixed, I’m going to deck him. If only to stop that fucking annoying laugh of his.

“Shut the fuck up,” I growl, still trying to pull the corners of the folded paper apart.

“For a man who doesn’t care about the girl—”

“I don’t,” I growl.

“A girl who is dead and gone to him,” he adds. I hate that he even associates those words with Hayden.

“I said my life with her is dead and gone. That book has closed. She’s moved on and so have I.”

“To what? Your love affair with an axe? Jesus, Beast I haven’t seen this much wood since that time Diesel rented that male-on-male, gangbang porn flick for Crusher’s bachelor party.”

“What the fuck did he do that for?”

“Dani paid him to.”

“Christ she’s twisted.”

“You aren’t lying. Shit, I had to fuck ten different women before visions of bobbing dicks stopped appearing when I closed my eyes.”

“I bet that was a rough few days for you,” I gripe, more concerned about the paper I can’t get to pull apart than the fact that Devil was haunted by images of dicks.

“Days? Fuck no. I fucked them all together. Hell of a party. Poor dick was sore for days,” he laughs and I’m pretty sure he’s not joking. He’s got a tattoo of the numbers 666 above his dick. It’s how he got his road name, the Devil. His crew swears he had to have sold his soul to use his dick as much as he does.

“This fucking paper is blank,” I snarl, when the damn thing finally unfolds.

“I know,” Devil shrugs. “The paper with the hospital information is in my pocket,” he adds, pulling it out and handing it to me. I grab it, giving him a look that should make a man quake in fear. The bastard just cackles that annoying laugh again.

“Then what the fuck was the point of all that?”

“Just wanted to prove something to you,” he shrugs.

“What?” I ask distracted, because I’m reading the address.

“You’re a fucking mess man. You’re about as fun to be around as a whore with no teeth, warts and a flared case of herpes.”

“Christ.”

“But at least when Hayden was around, you had potential. I don’t know what all your damage is. It’s not my place to know. But seems to me if you are stuck on this earth, you might as well make the most of it.”

“You don’t know shit,” I mutter.

“Maybe not. But I’ll tell you what I do know.”

“What’s that?” I ask, not looking at him and instead staring at the paper in my hand.

“Your ass is going to be flying out to Boston in the morning. And I think that says pretty clearly that Hayden means something to you. A man—a smart man would think long and hard on that before he pisses it away. If he hasn’t already.” He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know about my past. He doesn’t know how sweet and giving Hayden is. If he did he would understand that she deserves more than what I could give her.

“She deserves better,” I murmur to myself, not really to Devil.

“Maybe she’s already found it. She’s the type of woman that makes a man want to step up to the plate.”

“She’s pregnant,” I argue, not liking the idea of other men vying for Hayden’s attention. I never thought about that, and I don’t like it.

“That wouldn’t matter to some men—they might even like it. Hell, Sunshine, if you don’t want her, maybe I’ll see how she likes the Ole’ Devil. I could use some good in my life.”

“Stay the fuck away from her,” I growl, walking away from him.

“Where you going?” he calls from behind me.

“I’m going to pack.”

“Aren’t you going to offer me a beer?”

“Go fuck yourself,” I answer, slamming the door on his fucking laugh.