What had the hell had just happened?

Besides the best orgasm of my life? It had felt like a desperate goodbye. Stop. He promised he’s not running. But still I was so afraid to roll over or to reach for him.

The moment I did though, I knew I was alone. I didn’t feel Lucas’s heat wrapped around me. I’d already grown used to that. The way he tended to either wrap himself completely around me burrito style, or just plain old laid on top of me. Several times in the middle of the night, I’d had to nudge him away so I could breathe. At the same time, I thought it was sweet the way he held on to me as if he was afraid I was going to run away.

News flash. He is afraid you’re going to run away.

I attempted to roll over and groaned. Jesus Christ, I was sore. Not just my muscles, but down in the lady parts.

That last time, he hadn’t been gentle. He had been demanding. Determined. I’d tried to beg off of those last two orgasms. Honestly who in their right mind begged off orgasms? But I’d been so tired, my body sore. I’d insisted I’d had enough.

And of course, he had grinned that Lucas grin and asked me if I’d really had enough orgasms. And then he’d expertly worked me into a frenzy until I was begging him to give me another orgasm. Then he’d chuckled and said, “I thought you said you’ve had enough?”

And he’d gone on like that… for hours. But now, I couldn’t move.

I winced slightly as I pushed myself onto my back. But then I grinned, because as sore as I was, there were parts of me that just felt… delicious. Like I was in the middle of some multi-orgasmic super long stretch. It felt incredible. Yeah, that’s what it should have felt like every time you dated someone.

I dragged the sheet off the bed and tucked it around me. I was far too lazy to attempt to put some clothes on. I needed to shower, and if I was going to shower, he should join me. We could conserve water.

“Lucas? You know, you’ve done things to my body I don’t think it was meant to do. I have muscles in my thighs aching that I’ve never even felt before. What did you do to me?” I stepped out into the living room, but he wasn’t there. I frowned as I went to the other bedroom and bathroom.

Maybe he didn’t want to wake me? But no matter where I looked, there was still no sign of Lucas. Instinct told me to check the closet.

His clothes were still there. Okay, so it was fine. He hadn’t left. He probably went to get us some food or something.

Calm down. You are not going to freak out.

Everything was fine. I was just going to grab a shower, go fetch a drink, start working on my write up for a new artist, and he’d be back in no time.

It was when I headed back toward the bedroom that I saw the note on the coffee table.

I froze, my heart hammering against my ribs.

Those butterflies that used to pull low with anticipation and need came back, but they dragged dread behind them instead, making me want to vomit. Oh God. What the fuck?

Look at the note before you overreact. I scooped up the little note on the plain stationery.

Bryna,

I wish I could explain, but this has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me. You’ve given me the one thing in my life I never thought I deserved. Given that I’m doing this, I suppose I don’t deserve you. But one day, I hope you can forgive me. I need to keep you safe.

I’ve left instructions for Marcus and Roone to help you with an apartment. I’ve got the perfect one. I hope you like it. I’ve never known love or acceptance like you gave to me. Thank you.

I love you more than you know.

Lucas.

My stomach dropped. Then the bile rose.

Oh, God.

That dread in my belly started to spread and seep throughout my body, eventually weakening me so much that I couldn’t stand anymore. Instead, I collapsed onto my knees and then to my side, and then to my back, clutching the note he’d left me. It was the only piece of him I had left. And then I curled up and sobbed. He was gone. He’d left me.