Gavin
I love you. There. She said it. It’s one of those things people say in the heat of the moment, so I don’t know how seriously to take it. But I memorize it—memorize the sweet sound of her voice singing those words, the way it felt reverberating off my ear like a cool breeze. I’m saving it all for later to replay over and over when those words are hard to come by and Emmy all but denies them, who knows, she might even be out of my life by then.
I pull back and trace her with my gaze as we pant into one another. Her lips are parted, her eyes hungry to meet with mine. Mind blowing is the only way to describe what just happened.
“You love me?” I could have said anything else. Hell, I should have said I love you right back and left it at that. I already had her in the best way possible, but deep down I know my heart won’t be satisfied with something temporal. It wants the emotions to line up with the miraculous way her body just moved with mine.
My hand glides over her, right down to her hips, and I hold on for dear life. God I love this woman. It’s as if I’m caught in a dream, and, any second now, I’ll wake up in the cabin, alone in my bed.
“Yes, Gavin.” She leans up and gives a playful bite to my lip. It feels as if we’re right back to where we were all those months ago—better than before. “I’ve always loved you. Couldn’t you feel it?”
“Yes.” I hiss it out expanding the S into the night. “I’m so glad I found you, Em.” My voice breaks as I try to hold it together. Really, there is no better scenario than this one. Emmy was made for me. I want nothing more than to take care of her. And I don’t give a flying fuck what any feminist on the planet thinks about that. She has my heart, and she always will. “It killed me not knowing where you were, wondering if you were dead or alive or if you just wanted to be out of my world for good. I couldn’t take it. It was hell on earth. I can’t do that again. I need you. In the worst way, I need you.”
“I’m so sorry I put you through that. It was hell for me, too. I swear it was. It was constant darkness.” Her eyes squeeze tight a moment. “I buried my heart when I left, and, without you, I didn’t want to find it. There’s been nobody but you. Not another man has touched me, Gavin. You changed me. I wanted to be better—and you made me that way.” My heart breaks and rejoices with a hell yes all at the same time. She pulls back to get a better look. “Do you know why I left?”
“Tell me.”
She shakes her head. “Not in this bed. Not after what just happened.”
“Then it can wait. Because I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.” I plant a kiss in the hollow of her neck. “Did you enjoy that?” I skim my hand from her back to her hip.
“Are you kidding? I saw colors I didn’t know existed.”
A dry laugh trembles from me. “I’m glad because I was just about to offer up a repeat performance.”
I give her ribs a gentle pinch, and the sound of her giggling echoes into the room like a happy string of hearts. I drink it down, let it swill in my soul because I still can’t believe it’s happening. Five months of silence then our bodies combust like gunpowder. My fingers twitch over her ribs again, and she laughs harder with her elbows drawn down in defense.
“There. That’s my girl. I like seeing you happy.” My lips brush over hers. “I like being the one to make you happy.”
“Gavin.” She tries to bind my wrists, and I won’t let her as my lips curve up in a smile. “You’re going to hate me when this is over.”
“We’re never going to be over, Emmy. It’s you and me to the finish line. I can feel it in my bones. We last for all of time and beyond.”
Her eyes steady over mine. “You will hate me, and I will never blame you.”
“It’s not possible. I can never hate you, Emmy.”
“It’s Demi.” She presses her lips tight and stares into me as if holding back a smile.
“Demi?” Something loosens in me. She’s tearing down her walls one stone at a time—letting me into her fortress. “I was off by one letter.” I relax my head onto the pillow and smile.
“When you said it—it sounded just right.”
“Demi.” I try it out on my lips. “I love that.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “It’s beautiful just like you.” I pull up on my elbow beside her. “So tell me, who gave you such a beautiful name?” I’m probing, trying to fist my way into her world. She opened the door just enough for me to stick my shoe in, and I’m not pulling away.
“It was my mother’s name.” She lowers her lashes, rolling onto her side to face me fully. “It’s true what I said, she died giving birth to me. But I don’t want to talk about that.”
“I would have given anything for that not to be true.” My heart aches for her ten times harder than I ever thought possible. “You lost your parents. You’re just like me.”
Her lips press tight as she gives a stiff nod. The pain sears itself over us like a membrane, and at that exact moment our beings fuse as one. I’ve always felt the innate desire to protect her, and now I know why. Demi and I are two sides of a double edged sword, strong yet dangerous if not handled properly, and most of that destruction we rain down on ourselves by lending our bodies to anyone who’ll have them, at least we used to.
“But I’m not just like you, Gavin. I’m a train wreck. I’m cursed, and I’ve clouded your world with my madness without ever meaning to. I don’t know why destiny brought us together, but it feels like a knife in the heart.”
“Why would you say that?” I want to make her stop. I want her to smell the bed of roses we’ve landed in. We’re here, together. Doesn’t she see that’s all that matters?
She closes her eyes in frustration. “Let’s drop it for now.” She drapes her hand over my hip and gives my bare ass a firm squeeze. “Let’s focus on what we have in front of us.” Her finger glides down my chest in the shape of an S.
I pick up her hand and kiss her forefinger. “We have our entire future ahead of us.” I dare her to suggest otherwise.
Demi collapses over me and wraps her arms around my neck. Her even breathing cools me as she lays her cheek against my chest.
“A future,” she whispers as if asking herself the question.
“A good one,” I assure, digging my fingers into her hair.
“How’s Zoey?”
“She misses you.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
I rumble with a laugh. “Okay, she’s asked twice. She does care in her own twisted way. She wants to know if she’s the reason you left. I told her she wasn’t.” I pull her to me and kiss the top of her head.
“You were right.” She looks up. Her eyes glow like cinnamon. “Does everyone know?” She’s searching me for some deeper answer. Demi didn’t have it in her to ask the proper question. What she really wants to know is if everyone is up on what she does for a living. Hell, I don’t want to believe it, but—I cast a glance around—the evidence is surmounting.
“I’m sorry.” It’s all I can say.
“No, that’s fine. It’s the truth.”
“I needed to get you home. I thought maybe the truth was the quickest way. Warren and Ace helped track you down.” I rub her back, smooth as porcelain. “Nobody is judging you. Everyone just wants to see you back in Loveless, safe, happy, and home with me.” I press my lips to her forehead and keep them there, hoping, in some way, to hear her thoughts on the matter.
Her chest expands with her next breath.
“Is that a yes?”
“That’s a maybe.”
“Maybe sounds an awful lot like yes to me.” My heart claps against her chest as if it’s trying to offer up an applause. I’d like nothing more than to carry her to my truck and speed all the way to Loveless.
“It’s contingent on what you’ll feel,” she whispers. “You know, after.”
“After you tell me what has you running scared?”
She gives a quiet nod. “Tomorrow.” Her lips inch up to mine. “Tonight, I don’t want to go there. She reaches down and cups my balls ever so gently. “I want to go here.” She pecks a kiss on my neck. “And here.” Her lips ride lower to my chest. “And please, God, right here.”
Needless to say, I approve of her travel plans.