“Is this supposed to be my life now?” she asked angrily, rolling up onto her knees on the bed. “I don’t have choices any more? You just make them for me… and what? I’m just expected to play along and be happy?”
Jay looked down at her, unreadable eyes taking in her curves as she raged at him from the bed. “We had this conversation,” he said in a quiet but firm voice.
“I wasn’t done talking,” she shot back, sliding off the other side of the bed so she wouldn't feel so vulnerable. She shivered under the intense stare he gave her. “I’m not your plaything. You don’t just get to decide how to run my life from now on. I’m a grown woman, Jay Le Croix!”
Jay cracked his knuckles, an old habit that showed when he was frustrated, then said softly, “I’m sorry that you’re upset by the way I’ve handled this. I’ve made mistakes over the years and letting you go was one of my biggest regrets. But once you were gone living your own life, away from my shit, it was too late to bring you home again. Now that I finally have you here with me, I refuse to apologize for giving us both what we’ve wanted for years.”
His eyes pinned hers, glowing steel as he said, “And I refuse to let you go, under any circumstances.”
Allie stared at him, taking in the set of his shoulders and the cold finality in his features. He meant every word. She shivered and whispered, “I can’t just quietly accept things the way they are. I’ll fight you.”
“You won’t win this fight, Allie,” he said quietly.
Allie balled her hands into fists and smacked them against her thighs in frustration. “What are you going to do? Drug me again, like you did that first night? Until I’m pliable and willing? You unconscionable bastard!” she lashed out at him, using language she’d never dreamed of using with Jay. “Let other men violate me, like that doctor?”
He stiffened and his eyes became noticeably much colder. He strode around the bed so swiftly she hardly had time to back up until he was right in front of her. He stalked her until her back was against the glass wall of one of the floor to ceiling windows. He placed a hand over each of her shoulders against the window, pinning her in place without actually touching her. She felt the leashed aggression in him, castigating her with his icy stare as he held her captive with his gaze.
He lifted a hand so suddenly that she flinched back, closing her eyes with a gasp. When no blows landed she opened her eyes. He locked eyes with her and brought one long finger down to touch her lips, running it along her lips. Unconsciously, she licked her lips nervously, touching the tip of her tongue to his finger for a second. His body tightened, his shoulders stiffening slightly. He spread the moisture along her lip with his finger.
“Be careful what you say to me, little girl,” he growled softly, his voice vibrating with tension. “Never forget who I am. I carved a bloody place for myself in one of the most brutal cities on the west coast and I hold it with an iron fist. You are the only person that I love, but I will not allow disobedience from even you. You’ve been warned.”
Allie held her breath as his words sank into her frightened mind. The girl in her was giddy with happiness that Jay loved her, but the woman in her was terrified at the implications of his words. He meant to take her, keep her and own her. She would belong to him and he would tolerate no fighting from her. Yet how could she meekly accept her fate without a fight? Would he really hurt her? How far would he go?
He pressed his finger against the softness of her lip until it bit into her tooth and she cried out, bringing her hand up to clasp his wrist and tug. He pulled his finger back until he was no longer hurting her, but didn’t release his hold on her face. He was showing her his control over her body, how easily he could subdue her. Her heart sped up in fear.
“To answer your question, I will drug you whenever I feel it’s necessary and if I feel it’s to your benefit, as I did on the night you arrived here. Your health is my concern now. As to your second… accusation,” his voice, which had been quietly cold, became glacial. “No other man will touch you again. It’s probably saving your worthless ex-husband’s life that he hasn’t touched you in a year. Because I can’t stand the thought of him touching you.”
“Why are you being so cruel?” Allie whispered, her voice quivering under the onslaught of his anger.
His lip curled in a twisted smile that didn’t touch his grey eyes. “This is nothing, Allie,” he said softly, brushing a lock of hair off her face and sending a shiver skittering across her sensitive skin. “Now, be a good girl for me.”
Her earnest, dark eyes held his. She bit her lip.
“I don’t know if I can,” she whispered. “I… I used to love you, Jay. Maybe a part of me still does. But I can’t just accept what you have planned for me. Every day, at work, I fight oppression and subjugation… I fight so I can help people lead cleaner, healthier lives without hate and prejudice. Now you want me to… to just accept for myself what I fight against on behalf of my clients? It makes me sick!”
“You don’t have to fight anymore, love,” Jay said calmly, clearly trying to keep his temper.
“I want to fight!” she snapped, shoving his hand away. “I loved my work. Being a counsellor gave my life meaning!”
He gripped her arms firmly and gave her a tiny shake. “We’re done talking about this, Allie.”
She stared up at him mutinously, taking in his features, the features that used to be beloved to her, but now looked sinister and shadowed. She raised her chin and said defiantly, “I won't have sex with you again.”
His body went rigid against hers, his fingers biting into her arms through her cardigan, wrapping around her biceps. She barely dared to breathe as he dragged her away from the window against his unyielding body. She felt every hard muscle as he moulded the softness of her curves against him. She braced herself against his chest, but he used his hold on her arms to jerk her hands away and drag her closer. He ran his lips across her cheek, her temple and into her hair. He teased his tongue across the top of her ear until she was shivering.
Finally, he spoke softly, his voice cold with controlled anger. “Now that I’ve fucked that delicious body, I won't stop. Don’t ever think of denying me, Allison. Because I’ll fuck you when I want, how I want.”
He held her motionless, letting his words sink in. Her breaths rushed in and out of her lungs in gasps. He swung her away from the window and backed her up until her thighs hit the edge of the bed. He pushed her backwards with hard hands and leaned across her. Allie whimpered in fear, certain he was about to rape her. He leaned down, placed a hard kiss on her shaking lips and then strode out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
Allie rolled onto her side with a sob. She pulled a fistful of the bedding toward herself and cried into the bunched up blanket. She didn’t understand how Jay could say such horrible things to her. The Jay she used to know would never in a million years scare her like this. He used to read books with her and encourage her to dream. He taught her how to ride a bike and bought her Sailor Moon bandaids when she fell off and scraped her knee. He stole a car and sold it so he could afford to take Allie and Veronica whale watching for her 8th birthday.
This man was not the Jay she had fallen in love with when she was a girl.