Chapter Sixteen
“Do you believe in God?”
Finn set his empty dinner plate aside and looked at Emanuela, rubbing his chin with his fingers. They talked each night around seven, Pacific. He was home by that time, affording him some privacy, and a chance to talk to her for more than a few minutes between meetings, during the rare lunch when she wasn’t working, or in the morning when he was still a zombie and she was sprinting out the door.
“First of all,” he said with a grin, “I’m digging the outfit. Very cute.”
She was tucked into bed at the late New York hour, peering at him on her laptop screen, which sat atop a dinner tray over her lap. She looked comfortable in her favorite faded Columbia T-shirt, her hair pulled into rollers with a silky scarf tied around her crown, her reading glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.
“I like to impress,” she said. “Now answer the question.”
They’d been back on their respective coasts for a few days now, and they—mostly Emanuela—had quizzed each other at length. Their first night away from each other, Finn thought it was something fun she came up with to help distract them from how much they missed each other. When she continued the questions the next night though, his heart started beating faster at the idea that she was sizing him up as someone she saw herself being with long-term. The questions alternated between profound, philosophical, and even downright silly, but he took care to answer every single one honestly and thoughtfully.
He knew she wasn’t ready to hear how he felt about her out loud, and though he was pretty sure she was in love with him too, he wouldn’t push her. He tried to remember that her feelings for him and this entire situation overwhelmed her. This question about God was the first on this, the third night of the Emanuela Monroe Comprehensive Evaluation, and he couldn’t help but smile. If this was her way of seeing if he measured up, he would go along with it.
“Finn!”
“I do,” he said, confidently.
He watched her fine brows go up in surprise. “Really?”
“Really. As a scientist, everything I know is quantifiable. I can measure it. God is not something that can be measured. So, to me, it’s unscientific to say he doesn’t exist because there is no way to prove it.”
“But there’s no proof that he’s real, either.”
He could tell she wasn’t being combative, that she wanted to dig deeper, and he wanted her to. “Maybe it just comes down to what you feel. I think we have souls, and I feel that God exists in that part of me. It’s similar to the way I feel about you. I know what we have is something really special, even though we’ve known each other a short time. I can’t seem to explain it. Time doesn’t matter to me where you’re concerned.”
“Wow. I like that answer.”
“Why? Would you have felt differently if I’d said that I didn’t?”
“Maybe. I don’t know…I guess not. I mean, I know you’re a good person. I know that you’re grounded and you’re honest. We have the same ideas about what is moral and what isn’t. I guess I just wondered in case…” She floundered, blinking rapidly. “Because we both want children.”
“We do,” he said when it seemed like she was hesitant to keep going. “You were concerned about religious differences complicating matters if we wanted to raise children together.”
“I— Yes. Is that weird? Maybe this line of questioning is a bit much so soon.”
“No. I’m happy you want to ask me these questions. I’m already in—invested in you, Emmi,” he said, catching himself. “It would be a waste of our time if we weren’t considering a future together, given the distance. Besides, I’m happy you’ve been thinking about having my babies.”
She blanched. “Ugh, I’ve had enough of you.”
“God, I hope not. Emmi?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m older than you.”
“I know.”
“A lot older. Ten years.”
“What’s your point, Finn?” She removed her glasses and set them on her nightstand.
He understood her annoyance. Their age difference had never come up before, and she probably wondered what brought it on. He didn’t know how to put it delicately, so he just came out with it, hoping he didn’t freak her out. “If we had a baby tomorrow, I’d be sixty by the time Little Kane goes to college. And you’d be—”
“Fifty,” she said. “You’ll be sixty-four and I’ll be fifty-four when Little Kane graduates. Sixty-eight and fifty-eight by the time Little Kane can get a rental car. Am I missing anything?”
“Emmi—”
“I know there’s an age difference, Finn, but it’s not your age that matters, is it? I’m the one who needs to settle down soon if she wants to have kids before everything dries up.”
“Emanuela,” he said, gently. “I mentioned it because I want you to know, I’d love to have a family with you, but even if we both dry up, I’m happy just to have you.”
“Finn—I—” She clamped her mouth shut.
“I know,” he said. “You don’t have to feel the same way right now. I just wanted you to know.”
“It’s not that…”
“You promised,” he said. “If we’re gonna do this thing, you have to talk to me, Emmi. I’m about level intermediate when it comes to guessing.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay. I’ve told you about Greg.”
“You broke up with him when he proposed.”
She winced. “The thing is, I almost said yes.” She looked at him warily.
“It’s okay. Go on.”
She licked her lips. “Everything was perfect, you know? On paper. He was a good guy and he loved me. I wasn’t getting any younger, and I really wanted kids… It would’ve been so easy to say yes to him.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“At first, I blamed it on my fear of inheriting my mom’s mental illness. I was afraid of what it’d do to our kids…that I’d be a burden.” She fidgeted with her fingers.
“And then?”
“And then…I finally admitted that I didn’t love him. I was with Greg for two years and I didn’t feel the way I do with you. Thinking about kids then felt like pressure, and now— I can see it, and it’s a little scary.”
“Why?”
“I think I’d convinced myself that I was content with my life for the most part before I came to Seattle. Now it feels like I’m not sure about anything anymore. It’s hard for me…to feel that way.” She swallowed. “I like to feel in control. When I’m with you, I don’t feel like I have control of myself—of anything, really.”
Finn exhaled on a long sigh. “It must’ve been hard for you to admit that.”
Emanuela looked away for a second, silently confirming his observation.
“Thank you, Emmi. I won’t take it for granted.”
“I know.” She smiled, visibly relieved.
“Is it my turn or is this some kind of quick fire round?” he said, quirking a brow.
Her lips twitched. “You can go now.”
“Thank you. Miss Monroe, where would you like your career to take you in coming years? You don’t strike me as a woman who’d be content as someone’s second in command indefinitely.”
“Well…believe it or not, I don’t want to be Philip when I grow up.”
This was a surprise to Finn. “No?”
She shook her head. “I wanted to work for him because he became so successful at such a young age. He seemed knowledgeable about so many things, and he was passionate about every bit of it. I figured someone like that would be a great teacher, and I was right. But my passion isn’t in acquisition.”
“You don’t feel the thrill of it all?”
She laughed. “Of course I do. It’s fun; don’t get me wrong. And the money is good. That was a big draw too, obviously. Living here isn’t cheap. But I don’t see myself doing this forever.”
He smiled. He loved that she continued to surprise him. “What do you see yourself doing?”
“I really like to help people. I liked this job because it felt like I could give people with great ideas a chance to make it. Of course, it’s not just giving a handout. It’s a business, after all. But my big dream is to head a nonprofit organization.”
“Wow,” Finn said, a wide grin on his face.
“What?”
“Nothing. I don’t know why I’m even surprised. The way you helped Morris was amazing. I still can’t believe you were able to do it for as long as you did.” Pride sprang up in him. “What kind of nonprofit do you want to start?”
“I haven’t exactly figured that part out yet.” She bit her lip in thought. “I mean, I loved helping Morris. Helping struggling small businesses get back on their feet would be rewarding, but it’s still more of a business transaction than a charitable venture. I guess I haven’t found my niche yet.” Her brow creased with a small frown.
“That’s okay. I’m sure you’ll find it and you’ll be able to use what you’ve learned working with Philip to do some good in the world.”
“I hope so,” she said, wistfully.
He laughed.
“What?” she asked, eyes wide.
“Here I am, a pauper trying to make something of myself, and there you are, my beautiful Midas, trying to give everything away. I’m not sure this is gonna work out after all.”
“That’s too bad. I thought you might have something I could work with.” She shrugged and let go a dramatic sigh.
“Well, now I feel dirty.”
“I can work with dirty. But I’ll need some time to prepare.”
“How much time?”
“Maybe a week and a half?”
“Looking forward to it,” he said with a grin. “It’s quite possible you now know everything there is to know about me.”
“I’m sure I’ll think of something else. Say goodnight to me. I have a long day tomorrow.”
“Oh?”
“Philip’s back from the business summit,” she said, looking at him tentatively. “He’ll want to meet and catch up on everything.”
Finn simply nodded. “Does he know? That you don’t want to be the next Philip Hurst?”
“He knows.” She sighed. “He’s trying to change my mind, of course.”
“Of course.”
He could understand Philip wanting to hold onto Emanuela. She was quick and she had a way with people. He tried not to think of any other reason Philip would want to keep her around. He knew he shouldn’t get carried away, but it gave him hope that her heart wasn’t firmly planted at Hurst Capital.
“Get some rest. I’ll talk to you in the morning,” he said, smiling warmly at her.
“Goodnight, Finn.” She kissed her fingers and pressed them to the screen.
“Nite, Emmi.”
****
Finn’s cell hummed in his pocket. It vibrated once for a couple of seconds and then stopped, so he knew it must be a text message. It was still early, barely nine o’clock, and only two people ever text messaged him, one of whom was sitting right next to him. He grinned.
—You believe in God, so are you religious?—
It seemed she wanted to continue her questionnaire this morning.
“Everything okay?” Simon asked.
“Everything’s great,” Finn said. “Unrelated.”
“Cute, but we’re about to start an important meeting!”
“I know, Sy. Relax, the ball’s in our court this time. They have to impress us.”
Simon sighed. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right.”
Finn responded to Emanuela’s text:
—No. Are you?—
Almost immediately, his phone buzzed again:
—Not really. Love God, but not much experience with organized religion. : )—
Simon glared at him, and Finn quickly tapped another message:
—In a meeting. Talk soon, beautiful.—
His phone hummed a final time:
—Me too. Later, handsome.—
Finn grinned again and put his phone away.
“My God,” Simon said. “You two are children.”
Before Finn could respond, their nine o’clock appointment walked into the conference room, and he and Simon stood to greet them.
****
Emanuela reclined in the office chair, long legs crossed, shoes kicked off near the corner of her desk. She gnawed on the end of a pen and skimmed a hefty pile of documents. Her cell pinged and she glanced at the screen with a smirk. Her smile grew wider, and she typed a quick response, then put her phone back down and returned to reading.
“I think I’m not working you hard enough,” Philip said from the doorway, a broad smile on his handsome face. “You look way too comfortable.”
She sprang upright in her chair. “Philip! Welcome back!” She tossed her glasses and the proposal she was reading half-heartedly onto her desk. “How was Japan? Did I miss anything good this year?”
“Whoa whoa whoa,” he said, stretching his palms out toward her. “Would you mind if I sat down before you bludgeon me with questions?”
Emanuela grinned. “Please.”
He looked her over, taking a seat on the couch. “You’re looking well, Em. Maybe it was a good thing for you to skip the summit this year, although you make much more entertaining conversation than Brian,” he said, crossing his legs. “It was a long flight.”
“Thank you. I can imagine. Glad it wasn’t me stuck on a fourteen-hour flight with Brian this year. Did I miss anything good?”
He chuckled. “Ah, let’s see… There were the usual LP and GP blokes going back and forth about their predictions. I can’t recall how many dinners and networking events we attended, if I’m honest. There were some interesting faces this year. Niklas Zennström was a keynote. You’d have enjoyed that one, I think.”
“The Skype guy?” She could hardly conceal her excitement.
“One of the Skype guys.”
“Wow, I think he’s made more investments than even you have.”
“Well he’s considerably smarter than I am.” He smiled. “But it’s his work in environmental research that caught my interest. He’s very involved in combating climate change. I think it’s really admirable—and brilliant. I don’t think we’ve invested in enough companies like that—green innovation companies. What do you think, Em?”
“About green innovation or about Niklas being smarter than you are?”
“Both.”
She thought of something, and her head jerked to the side a bit.
“Out with it,” he said.
“Well, I think we’re already well on our way with our latest venture. I haven’t had a chance to catch you up on that yet but I think you’ll like where we’re headed.”
“You’re obviously referring to our friends in Seattle.”
“Mm-hmmm. They met with a few interesting people this morning, as a matter of fact. I thought I would brief you before we catch up with them later to see how everything went.” She was brimming with enthusiasm. It was catchy, she could tell, because his lips twitched and his dark eyes seemed to radiate toward her.
He shifted on the couch, getting comfortable. “Brief away.”
****
—I have to go or I’ gonna be late.—
—Just tell me what color.—
—Behave!—
—Please?—
—Fine. Blue.—
—Light blue? Dark blue? Help me out, Emmi.—
—Navy, OK? See you in a minute.—
****
Emanuela took her seat at the spacious boardroom table with Philip and a few members of the team he recognized from other meetings. She was the last to arrive for their video conference, and he grinned at the knowledge that responding to his messages had held her up. She squirmed almost imperceptibly, obviously aware of him undressing her with his eyes. He forced his gaze away from her tempting form and tuned in to the meeting.
“We’re very excited to announce our first hires for SimLife Laboratories,” Simon said proudly. “Phil Leahy is leaving Genencorp here in Seattle to join us in the research and development of artificial skin using recyclable materials. It’s so great what he’s been up to! Crab shells, for instance—”
Finn cleared his throat to stop Simon’s inevitable sidebar into the wonders of organic materials for modern applications. Emanuela cut her eyes to Finn’s briefly, visibly stifling a giggle.
“Forgive me,” Simon said, turning red. “I get excited at times and forget that I’m on borrowed time.”
“No need, Simon!” Philip said. “I’m very interested in what you have to say. Perhaps after this meeting we can have a word?”
“Absolutely!” Simon perked back up again. “Finn?”
“Sure.” Finn took over. “We just completed negotiations this morning with Ikeda Terumoto, formerly of RoBiology in Silicon Valley, to help develop a means to power medical devices, including our smart limbs, using natural bodily systems. In addition to these projects, our lab will do regular contract work as the primary source of revenue.”
“Great!” Philip slapped a palm on the table. “I think five-year contracts would be ideal. We only need two or three to keep the lab busy year-round. If you have anyone specific in mind, let’s review them and we’ll get talks started as soon as possible.”
“We appreciate that,” Finn said, thankful that he and Simon weren’t going to be micromanaged.
Having the freedom to choose their research and the staff employed by their lab was something Finn was adamant about from the beginning. He wanted to do meaningful work that he enjoyed; otherwise, he never would have started this project.
—You OK? Lost you for a minute.—
Finn glanced up to see Emanuela’s subtle smile. Philip and Simon were engaged in yet another tangent of discussion, so Finn and Emanuela had a few seconds to message each other unnoticed.
—Great. You look beautiful.—
She looked across the table, nodding a dismissal to her bored subordinates before tapping her response.
—What’s your favorite color?—
Finn suddenly needed to clear his throat again, shaking his head at a scowling Simon to let him know he was fine.
—Navy.—
Her grin nearly split her face in two.
—Wish you were here.—
—Me too.—
Philip and Simon shared a few more minutes of the most animated exchange anyone had ever seen between two adults, and then Philip wrapped things up. “The next and most obvious step is to get you guys into a real lab! I’ll leave you in Emanuela’s more than capable hands for that. One of her many talents that I lack, is the ability to walk around big, empty spaces and envision something magnificent.”
Emanuela glared at him and shook her head. “He makes me do all the grunt work and tries to make it sound good,” she said, smiling. “I look forward to cashing in on that rain check for dinner, Simon.”
“So do I!” said Simon.
They all exchanged goodbyes and the screens went black.
****
“I really like those guys,” Philip said after a moment, moving to sit on the table’s edge near Emanuela’s chair. “Especially Simon. He’s very catchy. He could sell me a bridge, I’m sure of it!”
“It’s hard not to like him.”
“What do you make of Dr. Kane? He seems to be a man of few words.”
“Fewer words than Simon, maybe. But he’s just as passionate about his work. Maybe more.”
“I can see that. Shame I haven’t had a chance to meet them yet. We should have them out. Perhaps we can prevail upon your lovely Lydia for the task?”
She stood and prepared to leave, trying not to let the elation show on her face. “Of course.”
“I think we can wrap up for the day.” He glanced at his watch. “Unless I’ve got you locked in this tower for some dire reason?”
“No, not this evening anyway,” she said with a laugh.
“Great, then you can have dinner with me.”
Her spine stiffened. She hadn’t anticipated Philip asking her out so soon. He’d only just returned, after all, and they were getting into the swing of things again. She opened her mouth to stammer a reply, but loud feedback pierced the room from the speakers before clicking to silence.
Shit! Emanuela thought. The call was never disconnected!
“Damn, that hurt,” Philip said, smiling at her until he noticed her bewildered expression. “Em? Are you okay?”
“I can’t go to dinner with you, Philip,” she said, averting her eyes. Then she walked from the room.