Chapter 31
The next morning Jonny woke before Cheryl. The sight of her all cuddled up in his bed calmed him, and with any luck, from now on he would get to enjoy this sight every morning.
He’d hoped the ocean view from his balcony would help him sort his feelings into words, but everything sounded lame and stupid. Either too forced and stiff or too corny and dumb. He’d already drunk his way through one pot of coffee, which left him tense and jittery, and when dark rain clouds gathered, he went inside.
Cheryl surfaced at noon, paler than the white robe she’d wrapped around her.
“Why did you let me drink all that tequila last night?” She massaged her temples as she eased herself into the kitchen chair.
“There was no stopping you. You and Isabelle kept pounding them down.” He handed her two Advil. “Take these and then you need to eat.”
She crinkled her nose at the bagel and cream cheese he’d fixed for her, complete with napkin and a steaming cup of coffee.
“This was sweet of you, but I don’t think I can eat.”
“Try. It’ll make you feel better.” He nudged a bowl of sugar packets toward her. “If it’s not enough, we could raid a sugar factory.”
She grinned at his teasing and tore the bagel apart. “I think I might have done or said some things last night . . .”
“You did.”
She tugged her hand through her tousled hair and moaned. “How bad?”
“After I pried you off the top of the bar . . .”
Her eyes grew wide.
“And insisted you put your clothes on . . .”
Her choking gasps made him take pity on her.
“I’m kidding. Although I will agree I was the hottest guy there, and I have the biggest . . .”
She threw up her hands and pleaded. “Please, stop.”
“I was gonna say brain.” He laughed with her.
Large pellets of water slapped against the glass and ricocheted off the skylights. Cheryl jumped when a loud clap of thunder rattled through the room.
“Not good for the head,” she moaned.
He continued to rehearse the words in his head, but nothing sounded right.
“Why do you keep staring at me?” She furrowed her brow.
He opened his mouth, and his heart skipped. If he didn’t say something, he would explode from sheer nerves.
“Cheryl, I want . . .” No, bad beginning. “Cheryl, do you think . . .” What the fuck was the matter with him? Just say it, asshole. “Cheryl, will you . . .”
His cell phone buzzed. Happy for the distraction, he fished it out of his pocket. “What’s up?”
“How’s it going down there?” Eddie asked.
“Making some good connections. Everybody’s onboard.” Jonny kept the incident with the cops to himself. No sense in making Eddie more nervous. “How’s everything else up there?”
“Quiet. Nothing from Frank.”
“How about Max?” Jonny leaned against the arm of the couch. “He calm down any?”
“Haven’t heard from him yet today. Probably laid up with that redhead.”
“When I get home, we find out where his loyalties run.” They’d come too far for any slip-ups now. “Jumpy is one thing, flipping sides is something else.”
“I’ll keep an eye on him.” Eddie paused. “We all good?”
“You gotta ask?” Eddie might piss him off with all his worrying, but he always gave it to him straight.
“All right. See you tomorrow.”
He shoved the phone into his pocket and stared at the rain water slide down the windows in long, unending streams. The waiting and the planning paid off. The incident with the cops probably had to do with Alejandro’s shit, and now he had that straightened out too.
He’d wait till tonight to tell Cheryl how he felt in a nice, quiet booth at Scarpetta’s overlooking the beach.
~ ~ ~
“Everything all right?” Cheryl asked.
“Yeah. Just thinking about the future.”
A future she would love to be included in if she could find the guts to tell him about her latest secret.
“Sometimes I feel guilty,” she said.
“About what?”
Where did she start? Involving him in her screwed-up life, or not telling him about a scheme to wreck him?
“About involving you and Eddie in my problems.” She cursed herself for the generic answer. Her brain screamed words like chicken-shit and coward, but there was no good way to spin it.
“Why don’t you go in and fill up the Jacuzzi with nice warm water?” he suggested. “It’ll help your headache.”
Her headache worsened, but guilt cursed her more than alcohol. Now she struggled to answer him in a way he expected.
“Only if you join me.” She leaned up and kissed him.
Her brain screamed at her to blurt it out, but the words sounded so feeble and weak. Frank called, gave me drugs to plant on you, threatened your life, and I kept it from you.
So many things she’d done wrong, but staying quiet when Jonny professed his love last night tore her up. She’d played it off like she’d passed out, but she heard his raspy voice so soft, so gentle. His warm breath close to her ear. She’d wanted to hold onto him and never let go. To say the same words back to him a hundred times over, but knowing how much her trust meant to him she couldn’t, wouldn’t start their relationship with a lie between them.
“Mmmm.” He snuck his hand inside the fold of her robe. “Soaping you up and drying you off?”
She stepped away from him and cinched her robe tighter. “Give me a few minutes before you come in. I want everything to be perfect.” She moved toward the bedroom leaving promise in her wake while her insides trembled with dread.
“You naked in my hot tub is about as damn perfect as you can get,” Jonny called after her as she closed the bedroom door.
She hugged the robe around her and pulled out her phone. After her betrayal, she’d expected another threatening call from Frank, but nothing. She shivered again as the rain pelted against the window. Frank’s silence unnerved her more than his threats. She wanted to be honest and unburden herself, but she’d waited all her life to be loved, and now she feared putting it all in jeopardy.
Their first time together, she knew—maybe not that she loved him, but that he was different, and he made her feel different. He’d told her she made him want to be better, but he made her want to expect better, not settle and accept the unacceptable. He made her believe she could have goodness in her life, and if she forgot, he would remind her.
The little zing in her heart when he said her name. The glimmer in his eyes when he teased her, and the security when he held her. How could she gamble with losing something so precious, so vital to her existence?