Chandler snoozed and I looked up at the mirror he had on the ceiling, a broad and natural grin on my face.

My arms were outstretched over my head, part of my leg was covered with the sheet. Chandler, on the other hand, was completely naked.

I watched him sleeping with fascination. Even asleep, a cocky grin seemed plastered on his face. His arms were long, lean and muscular, and every one of his eight abdominal muscles were visible with each breath he took. I stared at him in the mirror, then turned my head to look at him, to remind myself that yes, this was real life.

Chandler and I spent the better part of the morning and the afternoon doing what a couple of friends do when they discover they have amazing bedroom chemistry. When the biography of Amy Kershaw was written, this day was going down as the number one best sex ever day.

Nothing else could compare. Years of thinking I’d never see Chandler again and now here we were in the same house.

After we left each other five years ago, I had gone through the worst depression ever. It probably didn’t help that I never talked about what was really bothering me with my therapist but I just couldn’t. I still remembered his last day, at how we’d parted; so many questions unanswered and left hanging for five years. So many ‘what ifs’ that had plagued me.

So much of that time after I went back home was a huge fog to me. It took me over two years to get out of my last depressive state. Once I got my career on track, that had helped enormously to get me focused on something other then my depression and the cause of it: Chandler. The one that got away, that I’d pushed away, and for what?

My one promise to myself was that I had to get over him for good and to do that, I had to pretend he didn’t exist. I didn’t look him up on Facebook or online, and had never tried to find him or find out about his life. I didn’t even stay in contact with Becca, or Chandler’s friend, Tony, staying away from social media entirely.

Now, being in his bed, and knowing he hadn’t changed, especially after meeting Nina then Bethany on our first day, I already knew what I’d find online. And it’d crush me to be reminded that I was just a girl he finally got to nail. He didn’t get bonus points for waiting five years to do me.

After what David had done, I was suddenly back on the road to another downward funk when Chandler, once again, saved me from slipping under.

And now, we were both very much reeled back in.

Last night would be something I’d never forget. And the fallout from us hooking up wasn’t there. Oh, the possibility of getting hurt was still there but right now, I wasn’t going to think about the end, just enjoy the now for once. The future could wait. I looked over at him again.

The man fucked with reckless abandon. His body was a good deal bigger and obviously stronger than mine, and he came after me in a way that was feral.

Fucked up as it was, I could see why women kept coming back to him with their mouths open, that crazy look like they were thirsty in the desert and Chandler was the only one who had access to water.

Now that we’d had sex, this was my standard. An average of four orgasms per hour.

Average.

As crazy as my logic, having the pact made even more sense now. If I ever had to date a regular guy after this experience, I was fucked, and so was the guy I was dating.

My stomach lurched even considering dating someone else. And worse, what if I did end up as another one of Chandler’s hookups? What if he did this with girls all the time? Sure, he’d made a promise to not hookup while I was with him but he could have said it just to get me on my back. And it’d worked. Like a charm.

If we do this, I’m yours, and you’re mine, and that’s the way it’s going to stay until one of us says any different.

I recalled those words like they’d been tattooed on my skin. Did he mean them? If so, for how long? Not forever, that much I knew. After this week, would he be the one to say it’s over? Nice seeing ya, have a great life? However, I had to accept that it was a possibility, as much as I hated it.

I don’t care what label we put on it. Amigos. Novias. Amigovias. Whatever.

He’d said something like that once before, during our study abroad program. Chandler was, if anything, consistent in his views.

But—what were we now? I needed clarification on that. The silly pact that had kept us apart was over and done with. Chandler wasn’t going to change his ways for anybody. I could have him, but only in the form that he chose. At some point, that wouldn’t be enough for me, which is why I’d made that damn pact in the beginning and had tried so hard to maintain it—because I’d known from the beginning that Chandler was special.

Being here with him, finally having him, was a euphoric feeling. And possibly bittersweet. The man was my personal medicine, my antidote to all the pains of life. Since we’d left the plane, I hadn’t taken any of my meds. It hadn’t even crossed my mind because I felt so good when I was around him. I closed my eyes and I couldn’t help the wandering my mind did as I daydreamed of moving to Barcelona to live with Chandler. I could stay here permanently, maybe teach some English classes. I could learn to salsa dance like a pro. It would be the perfect life. I could raise a kid who knew Spanish.

I stared at my reflection then Chandler’s. I wondered what our kids would look like. Would they be short and more pale-skinned like me? No, certainly Chandler’s dominant genes would take over, and our kid would be tall and have that olive skin of Chandler’s. And his blue and green eyes. They had to have his eyes.

I closed my eyes, knowing I was getting completely ahead of myself. I still remembered his blunt way of saying he never wanted kids. Amongst other things.

And besides, what would my mom think? God, she’d be pissed. “We didn’t pay for your college so you could move to Barcelona and follow some guy you hardly know,” she’d probably say. She’d curse me for abandoning the company that Andrea and I were about to start. Whatever Mom, being with Chandler is the only time in the last five years I’ve been happy without taking my depression medication.

That realization jarred me out of my daydream. When I opened my eyes, Chandler was hovering over me, not quite touching me.

“Hey Squirt. What are you thinking about? You look worried.”

My heart began to beat so hard. I swear I could feel my left boob vibrating. Oh nothing Chandler, just imagining our life together after one morning of love making, no big deal. You are too, right?

But I knew he wasn’t thinking that at all. He was still the same old Chandler.

Luckily, another question had been on my mind, one that didn’t have to do with having Chandler’s babies.

“I was just wondering, and don’t take this the wrong way but, did you try out for the NBA?”

He looked away and I could sense his mood shift, his face tightened a little. His expression betrayed a small hint of vulnerability, and now he’d piqued my curiosity.

He tried to speak a couple of times before he finally spoke. “That, babe, is a story for another time.” He gave me a kiss on the lips, as though to silence more questions. “You want to know what I was thinking about?”

I smiled. “Of course.”

“I was thinking about what your stupid ex-boyfriend Scott said to you that one time.”

I furrowed my brow, suddenly confused. “Why the hell were you thinking about him?”

Chandler dragged the finger of his other hand over my breasts and stomach as he spoke. I wondered if he realized what he was doing, or it was done unconsciously. Either way, it was a nice effect. “You remember the one time you were telling me how the guy needed porn to get hard, and I always thought that was the saddest thing I’d ever heard? A man needing a fucking technological aid to get it up?”

I squinted and thought hard before I nodded. It still amazed me how much he’d remembered about me, the small things and the big ones too. “Honestly, it’s funny you mention this because I do remember that conversation,” I said, “but I could not care less what he thinks of me anymore. The guy was a total asshole.”

His eyes started on my face, and I swear I could feel his pupils run across my face, neck, and body. He shrugged. “Well, I don’t know why I thought of this but—actually, fuck it, I do know. I don’t want you to ever think it was you—because it wasn’t. It was him that was the problem.”

I’d figured that out a long time ago but hearing him say that meant a lot. And if Chandler was trying to sweet talk me, it was working. I could also see his cock moving, getting harder. “I see you don’t need any porn to get hard.” I glanced up at Chandler’s face, then down between his legs. “Although you do have the cock of a porn star.”

“I don’t watch porn so I wouldn’t know.”

“You don’t watch porn at all?” I almost laughed because I’d never heard that. “That’s strange.”

“Why would I when I have the real thing in front of me right now?” He grinned while making his moves on me. “Plus, you could totally do porn. You and me? Now that’s a porn I could watch. Real chemistry.”

A surge of courage came over me, and I whispered in Chandler’s ear. “I’m going to do something I’ve been dreaming about for a while. And you just reminded me.”

Chandler arched an eyebrow at me. “Oh yeah?”

I whispered again. “Yeah. I’ll give you a hint. It involves my mouth and your cock.”

He started to say something, but nothing came out. Any time I could leave Chandler speechless was a win for me. Instead, he brought my face to his, covering my mouth. I felt his now stubbled face against my cheek, and it heated me up.

“Lie on your back,” I commanded him, and he reluctantly obliged while I reached for a hair tie on the nightstand.

“Oh fuck, she’s getting the hair tie. She means business.”

“Damn right I do. I mean, that cock isn’t going to suck itself,” I said.

His reaction was priceless. Eyes widening and jaw dropping. Once again, rendered speechless.

My hair in a ponytail behind my head, I slinked over to his body and hovered over him, my face inches from his. “Honestly, I don’t even know where some of the stuff I think of comes from,” I admitted, laughing lightly.

“Well, wherever it comes from, it’s fucking beautiful.”

“You know, you’re the first person to ever tell me my dirty talk is beautiful.”

“Well, it’s not as beautiful as your gorgeous fucking face, but it’s still great.”

I could feel Chandler’s erection throbbing against my leg. Holding my hands up with my arms, I dragged my nipples lightly across his chest, moving my body back and forth. “Did you mean my gorgeous fucking face, or my gorgeous sucking face?”

“Both,” he said without hesitation. “Although I think I’ll need to see your sucking face more to be able to compare.”

“Well, you are about to see my sucking face.” I smiled then kissed him on the lips once more.

I left a trail of kisses down the middle of his body, going from his neck, between his chest muscles, his abs, and below his belly button. I kneeled between his legs and took him in my hand. He moaned as I kissed the tip of his cock.

He wiggled his hips as I ran my tongue up and down his length. I looked up at him and saw a pleased smile.

“How am I doing?” I asked.

“Hotter than any porno I could ever imagine.”

His words spurred me, and I opened my mouth up and took him in, swirling my tongue on his tip. His breath became short and throaty. I came up for a breath of air before I dove back onto his cock, deeper this time. He moaned louder, and I bobbed my head up and down on his hardness. I slowed, his moaning slowed. I sped up, he got louder. Tiny as I was, I took a sort of pleasure in the way I could control him. One thing I couldn’t control, though, was how wet I was getting by the second.

I lifted my head up to take a breath of air. He rolled his eyes down at me, but before he could say anything I wrapped my lips back around him.

“Fuck, Amy.”

I loved the way he growled my name. I took him deeper, went faster, and then I felt his huge hand on my head, half massaging and half guiding me. I hummed somewhat involuntarily and now I felt his hips starting to rock as he fucked my face. Wet and greedy, I wanted so badly to reach down and touch myself. As if reading my mind, Chandler pulled my head up by the hair. I was panting as he spoke.

“I want to taste you as you suck my cock.”

“Fuck yes.”

He spun my body around so that my pussy was on his face. I held his cock at the base and began to take him back in my mouth. I felt his tongue or finger flicking my clit and let out a noise that sounded halfway between a moan and a slurp. Suddenly, I lost all power to control his moans, and he was controlling me with his tongue. I lifted my head up.

“Oh God, oh God, Chandler,” I moaned. He said nothing in response, his tongue concentrated between my legs. But I felt his hands running up and down on my back, massaging my shoulders and reaching my neck. I wanted to concentrate on his cock, but I couldn’t. “Chandler please, just fuck me already.”

After another minute I think my words must have registered, and he lifted my ass up and set me on his stomach. “Lay on your side, baby,” he whispered.

I followed his command, and then I was on my left side with him behind me, and his huge arm wrapped around my waist. I lifted my leg up, reached down for his cock, and guided him into me. I glanced back and we made eye contact, him staring intently into my eyes. He grabbed hold of my face and kissed me deeply.

His tip pushed into me and I let out a purr. Wet as I was, it took a minute to get adjusted to him. He dropped a hand between my legs on my clit as he started slow.

“This just feels so fucking right,” he growled. He kissed—no, more like sucked on—my neck.

“Yes it does,” I managed to answer as he entered deeper into me. He gradually sped up until he was bucking hard against me. One hand was wrapped gently around my throat, pulling my head back so it was touching his. I screamed as I came hard, his finger on my clit while he entered me all the way was too much.

“Mmm, I love the way you sound when you come.”

“Shut up and fuck me harder,” I breathed.

“So that’s the way you want it?”

“Yes.”

Without pulling out, he rolled my body over so I was flat on my stomach. I felt his hands grip the sides of my body as he slammed his hips into my ass. With every stroke I screamed louder.

He pressed his chest onto my back and kissed my neck, sending shivers up and down my body again. I felt the orgasm building, and my pussy tightened around his cock. His breath caught, and I knew he was close.

I couldn’t believe this was still the first day that we had let ourselves have sex.

This was what I had been missing in my life.

This was why I’d been depressed on and off the last five years.

It might have been the first day, but this orgasm was five years in the making.

Not like I hadn’t already orgasmed to the thought of him.

I screamed louder than I ever imagined I would or even could during sex, my ass grinding into Chandler’s hips as I rode him, or he rode me, or whatever the fuck we were doing. He dug his lips and teeth into my neck and I came. The full weight of Chandler’s body was on top of me now, and I had never felt so liberated, so free while physically closed in.

“I want to see you come on my tits, Chandler.”

Like we had rehearsed this a thousand times, he pulled out and I flipped over. I sat up slightly and grabbed his cock to help him shoot ropes of come onto my boobs, stomach, and well, some got on the covers.

“How’s that for a porno finish?” I giggled.

“Who cares?” He grinned, still holding his cock. “That was fucking awesome.”