Rainn sat on the balcony on a lovely Sunday afternoon and went through the events that had unraveled in the previous few weeks. She felt the ring on her finger and used her right hand to take it off and feel it with her palms. It was the perfect fit and the fact that it meant something to her made her feel excited and warm inside. She listened to her surroundings as she did this and enjoyed how the birds sang in the nearby trees. Her mind thought of the few wedding planners that she had interviewed so far and her mind was decided on a couple in particular. She raced back to the songs they had suggested for her but had declined them all. There was a piece that she had been working on and she knew that it would be perfect for the walk down the aisle. She also had the perfect dress design and wished that she had the eyesight to see how lovely it was. Familiar distant footsteps disturbed her thoughts and she felt excited knowing that it was her lover approaching. She however felt disappointed when she listened more keenly, knowing he must be drunk from the staggering steps that he was making towards her.

“Hello dear,” Jack said as he planted a light kiss on Rainn’s cheek. She felt a wave of disappointment rush over her again as her fears were confirmed. His breath reeked of alcohol and from the swish of his left hand she could tell that he was still drinking.

“Started earlier than usual today,” Rainn commented and listened to him as he sat next to her at the balcony.

“Well,” he answered and did not bother to add anything else to his short statement.

Rainn did not feel like getting into a fight with him but she could feel the anger within her boiling.

“I don’t like it” she said, getting to her feet to prove her point.

“Well you had better get used to it,” Jack said and he too got up, walking over to where Rainn was. They stood face to face before Rainn could feel the strange new scent on him.

“What is that?” Rainn asked curiously and leaned closer to him to get a stronger feel of it.

“Come on, Rainn! You have smelled the liquor on me before!” Jack complained.

“No, there is something else other than the liquor”, Rainn insisted and moved even closer to him. She could feel it even more now, a strange scent unknown to her.

“What is it?” Rainn insisted.

“Ok, I may have smoked some meth earlier on,” Jack confessed and did not seem to care after his confession.

“Where did you get it from?” Rainn demanded in an irritated voice.

“What do you mean, where did I get it from”, Jack said sarcastically “Like I would tell you where I got meth from, I’m not insane.”

Rainn felt his words hit hard on her heart like a sledge hammer but chose to remain silent. She knew that he was only acting this way because of the dig but was still very hurt nevertheless. She turned on her heel and started heading back into the house from the balcony but was pulled back by Jack who held on to her left wrist.

“Where are you going?” Jack barked.

“As far away from you as I possibly can get, I cannot be around you when you are like this” she wailed and turned again, trying to get away from him.

“Don’t go!” he both pleaded and commanded, still with a firm grip on her.

“Let go of me!” she shouted at the top of her voice.

“You are not going anywhere,” Jack snarled.

Rainn stopped struggling and turned to face him, she could feel his warm breath close to her and she did not like how his scent was overpowering her and weakening her knees. She mastered all the courage she could and spoke to him.

“You need help Jack, you need to stop doing this to yourself!” Rainn shouted. From the way his breathing changed, she could tell that he was really mad.

“I don’t need any help!” Jack shouted back “And you will not tell me what I need or do not need.”

“I will tell you what I don’t need,” she barked “I do not need you in my life anymore. I cannot build a future with someone who does not love himself enough to admit that he needs help at a point of addiction!”

Rainn did not know where she had gotten all that courage from, but she knew that it had been a long time coming.

“You are leaving me?” he shouted back angrily, before throwing the bottle that he had in his hand. It landed on the ground floor straight from the balcony making a loud crashing sound.

Rainn felt a fear rise from the pit of her stomach to the end of her fingers and toes. She could taste blood in her mouth and a cold sweat broke on her forehead. Her first instinct after this explosion was to run and run she did. She ran back into the house and knocked on a few things before landing face flat on the ground.

Jack was of course hot on her trail and he let out a wicked laugh that made Rainn shiver to the very core of her being. She wondered why no one could hear all the noise that was coming from them and decided to scream and shout for help. She let out an ear splitting, thundering scream that made her throat sore. She did not stop at that and was just about to let out another when Jack sat by her side and placed a hand over her mouth.

“No one can hear you from all the way over here” he said. He still had the wicked demeanor which made Rainn even more nervous.

“I sent the staff away, remember?” he asked.

“Why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me?” Rainn asked and fought back a few tears.

“I love you so much that I cannot stand to let you go,” Jack said. He reached into his pocket and took out a strip of cocaine that had been rolled into a joint.

He then held up her nose and let the powder ran through her nostrils.

Rainn immediately sneezed it out and felt her head spin around the room. She felt weak for a moment and her blood froze in her veins. She felt a slight high before a cold shiver ran up her spine and she hugged herself tightly.

“That’s a good girl.” Jack said before lifting her chin up and adding more cocaine into her other nostrils.

Rainn felt the same reaction as before; now struggling with a foreign headache and dizziness. She could feel her surroundings fade away and relaxed into Jack’s embrace. Her body was suddenly as heavy as lead and everything sounded distant.

Jack held on to her for a minute longer before dipping his hand in the same pocket and pulled out a similar drug. He sniffed the cocaine through both his nostrils just as he had made Rainn do but chased down the drink with his usual gin poison.

“If I can’t have you, no one will,” he let out and moved closer to Rainn. He made her heavy body lie on his chest and smiled when he thought of the Romeo and Juliet scene that he would give the homicide people once they walked in on them. He let the effects of the drugs take over him as he thought of what the afterlife might feel like. He felt encouraged that he would be with Rainn on the other side and hoped that she would not be blind in the other world. The effect on him was faster as he had taken a series of drugs prior and he was soon lying unconscious on the floor. He did not hear Rainn sit up; neither did he hear her crawl away from him on her stomach.

Rainn felt restless, her body was partly paper weight and partly stone like. She fumbled through the room as she tried to make a recollection of having a phone perched somewhere in the vicinity. Her hand finally grabbed at a receiver and hope was rekindled in her when she placed it over her ear and heard that it was working. She punched in Yvonne’s number that she knew by heart and waited for it to connect. The long unanswered beeping sounds were tormenting her and she said a silent prayer that Yvonne would pick up the phone. Her head was feeling lighter and she could feel herself drift away into nothingness.

“Hello?” Yvonne’s voice sounded over the receiver and Rainn felt relief by the sound of her voice.

“It’s Rai…i…i..nnn” she managed to mouth before she realized that her speech was blurry and she could not really make out the words that were coming out of her mouth.

“Rainn? Is that you?” Yvonne asked almost immediately with a concern in her voice. Rainn tried to speak up again, she tried to make the words come out of her mouth but it was an uphill task. Everything in her body seemed to be displaced, misplaced and rearranged.

“Rainn? Rainn? Rainn? Are you there?” Yvonne asked again. Rainn could tell that she was talking to someone else in the room but it was a distant and strange voice to her.

“I think there is something wrong with her, I can’t really reach her!” Yvonne spoke put loud to whoever she was with, in the room.

“He… help me pl… please” Rainn managed to finally say after a lot of effort. Her body slumped to the floor and the phone fell from her hand as well. It rolled out to God knows where and Rainn could feel all the strength in her body slowly succumb to the drugs. She let her head face her lover’s direction and could feel a fresh pool of tears well up in her eyes at the thought of his limp, almost lifeless, body lying on the floor a few feet from her.

She tried to search in her heart for any hateful word that she could utter out to him in these desperate moments. But even at that point, at that moment in her life when Rainn was staring despair right in the face, she could not find it in her to hate Jack.

“You were my drug, Jack.” she thought to herself “You didn’t need to add any other.”

Her eyes were slightly shutting and her lips could not move any more, all distant movement around her slowly came to her halt. Rainn could only imagine Jack’s face smiling down at her just as she had always imagined it. The image warmed her heart and she let out a slight smile before saying.

“I love you Jack, I always will, in this world or the next”.