“Okay you silly twit,” Kelly mumbled out loud. “Get a grip.”
Turning off the shower, she flung the curtain open and grabbed her towel from the hook, wrapping it quickly around her body. The flowered shower cap got tossed in the sink. With a second, smaller towel, she vigorously rubbed from face to toes, wicking away the water clinging to her skin.
Swiping condensation off the mirror above the sink, she pointed to her reflection and continued scolding.
“You are not your mother. Having your world shot full of goose bumps and sparkles won’t lead to losing who you are, so snap out of it. It was just sex.”
She looked away guiltily and winced. With nothing for comparison, she might be operating at a disadvantage, but Kelly was pretty damn sure what she and Roman did in her crappy, old metal bed was a lot more than just sex.
Without the accusatory finger pointing, she griped to her reflection, “And what the hell with the running away. That was a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”
Busted.
Snatching a bottle of body lotion off a shelf, she dropped the toilet seat with a loud clang and sat down. Absent-mindedly pumping far too many squirts into a cupped palm, she energetically set about rubbing the sweet smelling cream onto her legs until none remained. Cupping a few more squirts into her hand, she dropped the towel and smoothed the cold lotion all over her torso.
When her hands drifted over her breasts, she flinched. Roman’s mouth did quite a number on her nipples, evidenced by the faint bite marks and chafed tenderness.
Kelly ran her hands beneath her naked breasts and gauged their weight and fullness. She’d been more than a little surprised to discover how sensitive they were and how susceptible to her lover’s attention.
Her lover. Wow.
She’d taken a man she knew for less than a day as her first and only lover.
Why did everything feel so right when what she’d done, what they’d done, had probably been so wrong?
A movement outside the bathroom window caught her eye. She used her fist to clear a spot to look through and swept the snowy backyard scene looking for clues.
Her breath caught in her throat when Roman’s backside came into view. “What’s he doing?” she wondered in the silence.
A naked man in her backyard in the middle of a snowstorm didn’t happen every day, but how wrong was it that she tingled with pleasure at the sight? The man was built like a marble statue. Hard and with muscles on top of muscles. He had a backside that needed a Grade A Prime Seal of Approval stamped on one mouth-watering cheek, and those thighs? Holy guacamole. Were those things legal in all fifty states?
She startled and jumped back when he suddenly flung his arms and roared at the sky. The sound came through as if the glass window wasn’t there.
Shame shot through every corner of her being. The anguished howl cut her to pieces. This was her fault.
He turned around slowly. His head hung at a dejected angle. The veil of snow covering his head reminded her of a white hat. The symbolism ate away at her composure. Her fancy man lover was one of the white hats. Matty would get the symbolism in a flash.
The tingling turned to a shudder as she watched him slowly shuffle through the deep snow. The front view was even more devastating than the rear. Along with the illegal thighs, his chest had to either be dangerous to one’s health or flat out the most gorgeous thing she’d ever seen. How the hell did he get that definition? Was it natural?
And then her eyes caught another slight movement and drifted lower. “You’ve got to be kidding,” she muttered right about the time her nose pressed against the frosty windowpane for a better look.
Swinging in a mighty arc, a priceless work-of-erotic art at the juncture of his thighs melted her brain. She blinked and made a small grunt. He was huge. Like seriously huge, and unless he had magical powers and could maintain an erection while buck naked in a blizzard, what she couldn’t tear her eyes from was a cock at rest.
Oh, that tingling shudder? About that. She was going to need a mop to clean up after her if the aching pulse didn’t quit.
Feeling lucky, her conscience snorted?
Um, well, yeah. Duh.
Then get your ass out there and explain your damn self. He deserves better than to suffer from Deb’s from-the-grave bullshit. Take responsibility Kelly Anne, and claim your man.
His teeth chattering from the bone-chilling cold, Roman quickly pulled on his jeans. The ice-cold metal buckle touching his skin made him suck his stomach in as he slid the belt into place.
He looked around for his wallet, found where he’d tossed it on the floor, stooped and picked it up. With it firmly in his pocket, he flopped onto the side of the bed to put his socks and boots on correctly. The sound of the metal creaking and the mattress bumping the wall reminded him why he was so twisted up in knots.
Making fast work of the boots, he stood up and reached for his shirt. His eyes caught sight of the dark stain on the bed. Pulling the shirt over his head, he got one corner of the front tucked in as he searched around the bed until he located the ripped condom packet.
This whole situation was of his making. He was one hundred percent responsible for everything. Period. When he got the chance, he intended to man up. He’d been a brute and handled her badly—especially considering it was her first time.
That was thing one.
Then there was the Liam thing. It didn’t matter that she went into it acknowledging they were crossing a line. He was the man. It was up to him to do the right thing. He was gonna ignore the fact that she’d been right there with him the whole way. Or that she started it. He was an adult for Christ’s sake and should have known better.
Right?
“So serious,” a gentle voice said. He turned toward the sound and found Kelly leaning casually against the doorframe. Her hair was gathered on top of her head. She wore a pair of stretchy gray pants and a big oversized sweater that hung to mid-thigh. He lowered his gaze to the magnificent breasts he knew lay beneath. She wasn’t wearing a bra.
When he met her eyes, he shook his head and did a double take. Wait a minute. What? “Are you making fun of me?”
“A little,” she laughed. And then she made a frowning face and added a grunt meant to convey that she was serious.
Feeling like he’d stepped off a whirling merry-go-round and had to catch his balance, he stood completely still and gaped at her. The wounded little virgin he created in his mind that he’d ravished like a wild animal was nowhere in evidence.
Well, shit. Another first. How the fuck much more was he going to get wrong?
Throwing her a hard glance and sounding like a grumpy old man snarling at kids on the lawn, he said, “We need to talk.”
“Ya’ think?” she replied with some knee-smacking hilarity. “Come on,” she added with a jerk of her head. “Let’s talk next to the fire. In case you haven’t noticed it’s freezing in here.”
Left foot, right foot. That’s all it’d take to start moving, but he stood frozen to the spot. That’s how bad it was. She’d stolen his ability to function.
When he didn’t move, she sighed heavily and came to him with her hand out. “It’s okay, Roman. You didn’t do anything wrong. Let’s get warm, and you can ask me the hundred questions I hear clanging in your head.”
She took his hand and led him from the room like a confused child. He followed along and spent more time than was appropriate wondering if she went commando beneath the stretch pants.
The fluffy pink socks captured his attention. His mind flashed to holding her legs open as he pounded her tight passage, and how her sock covered feet swung with each thrust.
In the living room, she gently guided him to the sofa and stroked his face when he sat.
“The fire looks good for now. I’m going to put the pot on to boil. Would you like some tea? Or coffee? I can make coffee if you’d like.”
“Tea’s fine,” he croaked.
Grabbing his shoulders, she playfully shook him and chuckled. “The power came back. We didn’t accidentally kill each other in the dark. I’m taking that as a win.”
Who was this girl? Why wasn’t she berating him for being a macho pig? How come he wanted to drop her to the floor and do it all over again? What the hell was happening?
“Kelly, I’m out of my depth here. Why aren’t you tearing me a new one for what happened?”
“Er, yikes,” she muttered. “The hymen thing sorta’ freaked you out, huh? Sorry.”
“The hymen thing?” His voice could not possibly have sounded more incredulous. He facepalmed and shook his head. Feeling full solidarity with every guy throughout all of human history who found himself dealing with a smart-mouthed female, Rhiann’s amused snicker sounded in his head. So did Liam’s grumpy ‘Welcome to the club.’ A sentiment quickly followed up with laughter and fall down finger pointing courtesy of his former Justice brother comrades.
Using the sleeve of her sweater, she covered her hand and rubbed the top of his head. “Don’t want you catching a cold from wet hair.”
Oh.
My.
Fucking.
God.
She was after-caring him and doing it with an ease and naturalness that blew his mind. Wasn’t that his job? Feeling like he’d stepped into an alternate universe, he continued being a clueless idiot with limited powers of speech.
“You know,” she kidded, “there’s a bottle of Jack tucked away on the top shelf of the pantry. I could drag it down and pour you a drink. I don’t think tea will be much help.” The way she eyed him and the obvious way she tried not to laugh brought him at least part way to his senses.
Forcing a smile to his face, he arched a brow at the same time. “Mmm,” he drawled. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Adding whiskey on top of what you’re doing to my head wouldn’t end well.”
“I’m not doing anything! That’s all on you. I get that the virgin thing probably needed a declaration of some sort but everything after that? Roman,” she playfully chided. “Come on. You, me and a bottle of whiskey? It’d end exactly like the picture in your head.”
“And how do you know what I’m picturing?”
Her laugh wrapped around his heart. “Oh, good grief. When are you going to stop with the ‘but you’re just a girl’ crap? How do I know what you’re picturing? Really?”
She pulled him from the sofa and curled around him like a sexy, clinging vine. For no reason other than it was a knee-jerk reaction, he grabbed her ass and helped himself to a glorious handful. Her sultry smile hit him like a ton of bricks.
“You like to fuck. And you aren’t a wimp about it.”
“Kelly…”
“Shh, I’m just getting started.”
He gulped.
“You feel bad because I took your power away. I’d offer to go over your knee as a penance, but then the tea will never get made.”
“Have you ever been properly spanked?”
“Good lord, no. Roman. Get with the picture, would you? I’ve never anythinged. Never been kissed, fondled, fingered, or fucked.” He was aware his eyes narrowed. She kissed his nose and raised up higher. “I don’t want nicey nice, and I suspect you don’t either. And before you growl or frown some more, no. I don’t talk like this normally.” She shrugged a shoulder. “This feels very real to me. Careful, polite language doesn’t fit.”
“I like how blunt you are.”
“Good because I’m still answering your question and yeah, I’m going to get vulgar.”
“Vulgar has its place.”
“I’m glad we agree. Back to what you’re picturing. Even though you feel like shit because you think I’m some delicate, innocent flower, the very nice butt grab just now tells me that a little face in the carpet, ass in the air action is a safe bet.”
The things he could do, the sounds he’d get out of her in that delicious position, turned him on quicker than flipping on a light.
“So let’s stop dancing around the obvious. You want me, and I want you. Is it complicated as all get out? Yeah. Just don’t let the complex part of things change what’s happening between us.”
“But you’re so young, and…”
She wasn’t taking his shit and cut him off with a ferocious squeeze. “And you’re ancient. Whatever.” Her annoyed growl made him smile inside. “Look. Stop overthinking. First of all, it isn’t fair ‘cause I’m not a fool. You know way more about me than I do. You get me, right?”
Oh hell yeah.
“And secondly, can I have some credit, please? Unless I imagined things, what went down earlier? I started it. And knowing whatever the hell else it is that you know didn’t stop you from letting me. So the overthinking after-the-fact is a little self-defeating.”
“There’s something you don’t know.”
She kissed him so sweetly he wanted to cry. With a small, encouraging smile she nodded. “Okay. Tell me.”
“The uh, condom broke,” he blurted out.
“What does that mean exactly?”
A thousand random thoughts and emotions shook his previously well-ordered life.
“It means we’re getting married.”
She shoved him so hard he stepped back. “Married? Why? I don’t understand.”
He plowed ahead because all of a sudden his mind cleared and he knew what this surreal situation needed.
“To be perfectly blunt,” he spelled out with emphasis, “there’s something primal sparking between us. Pardon the vulgar directness of this but Carina, when our clothes come off? We fuck like animals. And that energetic fucking left you in a vulnerable spot courtesy of some shitty latex. I’m not clairvoyant, but it’s a safe bet that we’ll be heading for round two and probably three, possibly four before tomorrow rolls around. And since I’m not fully loaded with protection our options are thin. Pulling out and coming on your tits sounds like fun, but not all the time.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh. And since I’m guessing neither of us intends to back off, the chances of you getting pregnant go up exponentially every minute we’re alone together. There have been enough illegitimate kids in your family tree.”
“Ouch,” she griped. “That was a bit brutal, don’t you think?”
“Brutal but true, luv. Your mother, you, Matty, Liam. I don’t know what’s going on with us, but one thing is sure. You’re mine, Kelly. And I think you like the idea.”
They looked at each other in silence for a long time.
“God. Now I really need that tea.”
That’s all she said before making a mad dash into the kitchen. He let her go and allowed the space between them. She needed time to come to grips with everything being thrown her way.
Tomorrow really would be the dawn of a new day, and it was going to take everything he had to keep this whole thing from heading straight into the crapper.
He’d called it when suggesting they’d fuck the night away, and she had not a single regret about any of it. It worried her though how quickly she’d let him into her life. She’d never let anyone in. Ever. Only Sam and Ginny were the exception. And Matty, of course.
“You guys don’t seem bothered at all by the snow,” she remarked to the brood of Rhode Island Reds. “Bet you’re glad now that I insulated this baby, huh?”
She did a bit more upkeep to the chicken coop and made sure her hens had plenty of water. The overnight conditions made ice in their pan, so she had to remind herself to trek out here every few hours and break up any chunks that formed.
On the way across the backyard to the goat shelter she built with her own hands and Matty’s questionable assistance, Kelly trudged through the snow, at times breaking a path through thick drifts of the frozen white.
Goats were her mother’s brilliant idea, one of the few she brought to the table and miracle of miracles, the little animals turned out to be a very good idea. First, they were better than any lawnmower Sears ever came up with, and to be honest, she liked the milk goats they kept.
Ginny showed her ways to manage a small group of animals and how to get the most bang for her buck. The goat cheese and milk products she sold at the Farmers’ Market paid for the annual costs and gave her a free and easy supply of milk.
Chuckling she muttered, “Ah, life in the wild.”
A while later the chores were done, and the sun finally came out. They were buried under a foot and a half of snow and some pretty significant drifting piles. The only thing keeping her from jumping out of her skin was knowing Sam would arrive at some point and use his truck plow to clear the bumpy dirt road to the house and help get Bandit dug out. Good thing too, because there was a pile of trash covered with a tarp and ready to go to the dump in the truck’s bed.
The rumbling growl from her stomach was all the reminder she needed that food was next on her to-do list. The heated up leftover coffee from yesterday that she held her nose and guzzled earlier had eaten a hole through her empty gut. She needed something substantial before getting on with the rest of the daily grind.
“Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.” Using her booted feet as mini-plows, Kelly kicked snow away from a new path leading from the rear of the big backyard to the door. Half way there she noticed the smoke from the chimney had increased and the porch light was off.
Roman must be up.
She paused. The thought came so easily to her. It was as if he belonged there. Maybe not so much in a literal way, because he was a fish out of water in her world. But everything she felt and all they’d shared seemed like destiny. There was no way two people who just met could generate that much intensity, heat, passion and connection for no goddamn reason.
At the steps, she kicked snow off her boots and then almost flew into the house when the aroma of bacon wafted through the air. She and Matty were a lot alike in their dedication to all things bacon. Sam sold the best smoked pork belly in Oklahoma. Knowing a butcher wasn’t exactly a bad thing!
Bursting through the back door, she called out while ditching her hat, scarf, coat and boots in record time. “Is that bacon I smell? You realize of course I will arm wrestle with you over every piece.”
She stepped around the corner into the kitchen and stopped dead. Had he become even more head-to-toe yummy in his sleep? My word! Nobody should look that hot or be so distracting this early in the morning.
Following her nose, she sniffed her way next to him at the stove and stood on her toes to try and get a look over his shoulder. “Why, Mr. Bishop. You know your way around a cast iron skillet!”
He snickered and smiled down at her. “The trick is to get the pan screaming hot before adding the bacon. This fancy man has done his share of camp cooking, and I’m not talking about leisurely recreation in a national park.”
“Semper Fi?”
“Yup.”
Did you kill anybody when you were in the war?”
His jaw clenched so tight she was sure his teeth would crack from the pressure. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder and moved away to let him finish.
“I’m going to wash up. Be right back.”
Dashing into the bathroom, she questioned why she felt so perfectly at ease with him. And why she was secretly bummed the storm ended, and the sun came out. She’d have liked another day of it being just the two of them before that other life she could feel pressing urgently against the boundaries of her simple existence came crashing down.
Roman watched her cute, curvy backside march away and sighed. Everything about this was so damn weird. They interacted like an old married couple, banged like porn stars, and verbally sparred better than a point-counterpoint TV show.
Relieved that the things they’d done and said in her old brass bed hadn’t destroyed the unusual bond forming, he’d mentally fist pumped his joy when her lips touched his shoulder.
Kelly James was one tough, fierce female. But that didn’t mean she was hard. This harsh, unrelentingly difficult life she was placed in by her mother hadn’t damaged her heart or her ability to be deeply empathetic. And wise.
He thought of them curled together in the narrow bed as sleep claimed her, and how she burrowed into him murmuring, “Hold me tighter.” It had been his pleasure to pull her tight. She’d curled closer like a small child and tucked a hand beneath her chin. It felt so right that some part deep inside him wept tears of happiness.
And then, as dawn broke and he reached for her only to find the bed space beside him empty, his desire to introduce his young love to the sweet relief of morning sex crashed and burned in the face of this life she led.
It amazed him that she showed no frustration or displeasure with the hard realities she so adroitly managed. That amazement tripled because she wasn’t bitter. Or full of crazy anger. From where he was sitting, this balls-to-the-wall twenty-three-year-old had more sense and drive than a good many of her peers.
“What were you doing out there?” he asked when she came back. “And why didn’t you wake me up?”
“Wake you up?” she said with a half-startled expression. “Whatever for?”
Jesus. She was gonna kill him with this ‘I can do anything’ shtick. Forking the crispy bacon from the skillet, he dropped the hot strips onto a plate and pushed the hot pan from the burner before facing her.
There were probably a dozen responses vying for air time as he turned, but all of them vanished when they were face-to-face. Sliding an arm around her waist, he pulled Kelly forward and kissed her firmly on the mouth. “Good morning.”
Her lovely smile had a lighthearted quality. She melted into him and twined her arms around his neck. “Good morning to you too.”
Palming her ass, he relaxed his hips against the counter and kept her plastered to his front. “I could have helped,” was all he said. She looked at him quizzically. Didn’t she get it?
“But I didn’t need any help, Roman.” Her shrug was short and to the point.
“But I could have helped,” he said again.
“But…I didn’t need any help.” Her face was a mask of confusion. “Is this a macho thing? Because that’s what I’m hearing.”
He started to answer, but she kept speaking.
“Does it bother you that I have things under control? By myself?”
Attempting to defend his position he growled, “You shouldn’t have to do all this by yourself.”
“But I did, and I do, and to be frank with you, I don’t know any other way.”
She sounded like Liam and the way he described growing up with his mom. She was so damaged by Adam Ward’s malevolence that he’d truly been the man of the house while still riding a bicycle. He was starting to see more than just eyes as a similarity in the siblings.
Her stomach growled.
One quick but extremely thorough kiss later he had her at the table, digging into a pile of bacon and a plate of perfectly fluffy eggs while they enjoyed a leisurely breakfast and discussed the world.
“May I ask a few questions?”
Her eyebrow arched. Dropping a strip of bacon on her plate, she wiped her hands on a purple fabric napkin and gave him all of her attention. “Sure.”
“Why don’t you talk like everyone else around here? It’s not my imagination that you show zero southern or country twang. What am I missing?”
“Wow. You went straight to it, didn’t you?”
He wasn’t even going to pretend he wasn’t pleased with her reaction. That’s when it struck him that not many people got this close to her.
“The simplest answer is the truth. Outside of my mother, I wasn’t exposed to other people very much. She home schooled me. Sam and Ginny are from the east and don’t talk Okie either. So I guess you could say that you hear my mother’s background.”
Roman nodded and considered the new information. Deb James was the key to so much, and he needed to understand what the fuck had been going on here all these years.
“How did your mother afford all this? I know it’s not much, and you pretty much exist off-grid, but there are still expenses.”
Her half-smirk was not in any way warm or friendly. “I believe the expression you’re searching for is sugar daddy.”
His eyes narrowed, and a dangerous surge of anger toward Adam Ward fired off inside. “Are you serious?”
Kelly shrugged again and crossed her legs. The hair flip was intended to be nonchalant as if to suggest she didn’t care but he saw through the act. Roman wanted to lash out at everyone who in even the most insignificant of ways had fucked with her life.
“I don’t know anything for sure except this. Along with the house and land, part of Deb’s inheritance included an escrow account with funds to cover the land taxes for about twenty years. Lucky her, huh?”
The gritty animosity came through loud and clear.
“She insisted there were savings too and that’s what paid the meager bills. After she died, those so-called savings took on another form.”
Emitting a pained and heavy sigh, she rose and went into the pantry, coming back a minute later carrying two old tin cans from another era. One said Beechnut coffee and the other slightly larger can read Charles Chips. She placed them on the table in between them and sat down.
“Go ahead. Look.”
He watched her face in between reaching for a can, prying the lid off and looking inside. Pulling out several plastic storage bags he had a second of complete astonishment at what he found.
“When I found it in an old bag in her closet there was a little over twenty-five thousand dollars. Spent some,” she ground out. “There’s roughly nineteen thousand four hundred and sixteen dollars left.”
Ah. Now he understood so many things. Like having a satellite dish and a flat screen but no microwave.
“And you think this money is from your uh…”
“Father? Pfft, please! I’m not sure he would even qualify as a sperm donor.”
“We’ll get to him, Carina,” he drawled smoothly. “But let’s stick to the cash for a minute.”
“Well, I’m afraid if you want additional information, you’ll have to wait for Ginny. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she knows way more than I ever imagined.”
Hmmm. He considered her wording and manner. Not a deflection. She knew nothing. And despite her clear affection for the older woman, Kelly wasn’t pleased about it.
Touchy subject. He got it. Moving on…
“You mentioned home-schooling,” he said with a deft subject change. “Is that why you don’t show up in official records?”
Her answer was a starchy sniff, hastily crossed arms, some evil eye, and a shaking foot. “Are you legally allowed to stick your nose into anyone’s business?”
The smirky grin spread across his face with supersonic speed. “Wanna see my badge?”
She ejected out of her seat with an awkward jerk and stood up with an expression of alarm on her face. “Are you with the government?”
“Easy sweetness,” he calmly murmured. Gesturing, he asked her to sit down. “I’m sorry. Let me explain.”
“I don’t need any trouble, Roman,” she spat in a very unambiguous way.
Oh god. His clumsy attempt to be charming and funny did not get the laugh he expected.
“Cards on the table?” he asked.
“I’m a pool shark. Not a card player. Hard to learn when it’s just you.”
He reached across the table, took one of her hands and brought it to his mouth for a gentle kiss. He didn’t relinquish control though and kept a firm grip.
“Yes, I am licensed to carry. I’m also what the feds will tell you is a highly trained interrogation specialist courtesy of the military. For the past many years I’ve been doing private security. Security that sometimes includes surveillance.”
“And protection?”
“Yes.”
“You’re my…you’re that guy’s bodyguard?”
He noticed she went out of her way not to say Liam’s name, a quirk he found troubling.
“I prefer Head of Security. And these days it’s more like a friend who also takes care of shit.”
Her hand got pulled back, he searched her face for why and knew immediately he’d unintentionally put his entire size thirteen foot into his mouth.
“Did you just refer to me as shit?”
“Please don’t overreact.”
“How ‘bout you watch your mouth?”
Heat like what you’d expect if you got too close to a sun flare burst around them. Her fire tempted him in ways that would shock her innocent sensibilities if she knew.
“You get one,” he told her. “And that was it. The next time you get bitchy with me the view of the floor will be all you see.”
He expected a comeback, but instead she colored like a summer rose coming to bloom. And then his dick started doing the rhumba in his jeans. Her embarrassed, guilty-pleasure silence almost ended with her naked from the waist down and impaled on his cock.
“I was poking around in your father’s house of lies when a surprising tidbit of information came to light. That tidbit led me to you. Liam was dumbfounded. Frankly, so was I. But we couldn’t move the information ball downfield at all. Your mother did an excellent job of slamming that door shut.” He paused and considered how to say what he knew she had the right to know.
“Kelly Anne James is not your birth name.”
All the color leeched from her face. He gulped and prayed she didn’t faceplant on the table if she fainted.
“Looking for you was like trying to find the needle in a haystack. Once Debbie brought you here, the leads ran cold. No school records. Social security. Bank accounts. Nothing. How is that, Kelly? What am I missing? Besides Matty.”