“Apparently no one has heard from him in nearly two decades,” my mother explained to me. We were talking on the phone. I had called her shortly after the sun had set wanting to discuss with her the message she had left for Grayson. She hadn’t wanted to wake us with her exceedingly early morning call and instead opted for calling his office.

“Could he have changed his name?” I pondered. It wasn’t unusual for a vampire to change their name over the years. We lived so long that your given name wasn’t always used in the common day.

“I suppose it is possible, but I have known him for decades Gabriella, and he never has. Not once. I don’t know why he would now.”

I looked up as Grayson walked towards the room. He didn’t enter. He just stood leaning against the door frame staring at me with a devious look on his face.

“What?” I mouthed.

“Food,” he whispered.

I nodded, holding up my index finger, letting him know I’d be there in a moment. I watched him, admiring the view of his retreating muscular backside. I untangled myself from the spot on our bed and shimmied myself to the edge. “I don’t know mother. We’re running out of ideas. Our sources are nil. I just… I don’t know what else to do. I need to find him. I need to know how to help Grayson.”

“Is your blood still working?” she asked. I had never mentioned it out loud, but the possibility that the effects would wear off was one of my biggest fears.

“It is, but…”

“But what, Gabriella?”

I sighed, “He won’t say anything, but I don’t think it’s having the same effect on him anymore.”

“What do you mean?” I could hear the apprehension in her voice.

I listened for Grayson. He was in the kitchen where I could hear water flowing. It would be almost impossible for him to hear me over it, especially if I whispered. “He doesn’t think I notice, but he’s been feeding from me more and more lately. He tries to push it off as other things.” I hinted, not really wanting to talk about my sex life with my mother.

“Maybe that’s all it is. Your relationship is still exceedingly new not to mention the mating bond can be quite strong when it comes to those other feelings.”

That was the closest my mother and I had gotten to talking about sex. “Maybe, but why is he taking more blood from me during each feeding?”

“Have you tried letting him feed from a human directly?” My mother’s best guess with Grayson’s blood intolerance was that he needed to drink directly from the vein, whether it was mine or not.

“It didn’t work and he refuses to try again. You and I both know that vampire blood will not sustain him forever.”

“I know. I promise I will help you find your father, Gabriella. I will help you in any way I can. I feel somewhat responsible for what has happened to Grayson. Perhaps if I had but listened to you when you explained your lack of desire towards Anton then…” Over the recent weeks, she had said this to me many times. I had constantly asked my mother to not share information with Anton, but she had, even against my wishes, and continued to assure him that I would come around. I knew now that her motives behind her actions were to keep me safe and hidden from other vampires who held a grudge against my father.

“No mother. You can’t do that. I feel guilty, all the time, but Grayson has told me time and time again that this was what he wanted. He would have eventually chosen it anyways.”

“Gaby?” Grayson’s voice startled me. I wondered how long he’d been standing there. How much did he hear?

“Mom, I have to go. Call me if you hear anything.”

“I will darling and try not to worry too much,” she mentioned before we hung up.

“She’s right, you know?” Grayson stated as I climbed off the bed heading towards him.

Wrapping my arms around his waist I asked, “How so?”

He grinned crookedly. “You do worry way too much.” He placed a soft kiss against my temple.

 

 

As the weeks passed, the air grew cooler and the seasons changed. Thanksgiving was our first real holiday together. Grayson and I spent it with his family in Boston. It had been hard to arrange my blood situation, but we managed.

He showed me around the city. He knew it so well that I was a bit surprised when he told me that his parents only moved out there at the end of his junior year in high school. He had originally grown up in Vermont.

“They talked about moving back,” Grayson explained when I asked about Vermont. “Dad refuses to quit working and had a job offer from back home. I think it gives him something to do, but it would have required more hours. Instead a competing offer came in from here in Boston, for more money and a flexible schedule so he jumped on it.” He shrugged but refused to look at me.

I looked suspiciously at the man I loved as he drove me by Boston Harbor. Living in Manhattan my entire life I had never learned how to drive. It was a bit remarkable that Grayson did and was a bit of a turn on when I watched him shift gears in the sport car he rented.

“What?” he questioned, seeing the quizzical gleam in my eyes.

“He just happened to get a job like that or did his son make some kind of arrangements?”

He bit his lip while the corner of his mouth pulled up in a half smirk, looking completely sexy. He eyed me out the corner of his eye, neither confirming nor denying it. His silence was all the confirmation I needed. Whether it was a favor or if Grayson had bought the company, I didn’t know, but the fact that he had done something so kind for his parents and kept it a secret made my love for him grow a little more.

 

 

In the blink of an eye Christmas was upon us.

“Our first Christmas together,” I announced to Grayson as we stood in front of our freshly cut tree. The air was filled with the scent of evergreens.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I squinted hesitantly. “Pretty sure.”

Grayson smirked. “It seems like I’ve known you so much longer than that.”

“It’s been a crazy six months.”

“The best six months of my life,” he whispered pulling me close.

“Mine too,” and they had been. Even with all the horrible things that had happened, the last half a year had been the happiest because of Grayson.

Weeks had passed and still no word on my father. My mother and I had taken turns contacting other nests spiraling out from Seattle hoping to find some information on Damien. Through all our efforts, no one had heard from him.

Shawn had been trying his best to distract me while Grayson was busy during the work day. They appeared to be trading off shifts. The holiday season only helped their efforts. Shawn would whisk me away from the apartment dragging me to go Christmas shopping. He knew shopping was a great distraction. With it being Grayson and my first Christmas, I wanted it to be perfect, but that didn’t hinder my desire to find my father. That urge always came first, because of Grayson.

I tried not to argue with their interference techniques, even though every cell in my being screamed for me to. I desperately wanted to find a solution for Grayson. If I thought my blood would suffice forever, I might have been more eager to give up my hunt, but as time passed and Grayson’s thirst worsened, my search for my father plagued my thoughts.

We spent the afternoon decorating the tree. I was surprised when new decorations had to be purchased. I learned that in the past, Grayson had worked right up to the holiday then would head out to his folks for Christmas, so he never bothered with a tree. This year was different. After spending Thanksgiving with them, we had decided our first Christmas would be just us.

We played Christmas music as we decorated and even took a break for hot cocoa. Christmas growing up for me had been a little unorthodox. My mother would arrange for a small tree for our room and refused a plastic one. It was one tradition she held on to from her mortal life. Gifts would be done at midnight between us since she slept through the day. There was no Christmas dinner amongst vampires, but my mother would spice the blood for a more Christmassy effect. It was horrible.

Sharing details from my childhood with Grayson is why I think he wanted to do Christmas at the apartment. He was going to show me a traditional Christmas.

Once we were done, I decided I was going to take a shower. I felt just as decorated as the tree with all the glitter and feathers that were sticking to me. I begged Grayson to join, but he declined explaining he wanted to make dinner before it got too late. Disappointed, I showered on my own which wasn’t nearly as enjoyable.

When I exited the bathroom, I was startled to see Grayson sitting on the bed and more puzzled he hadn’t joined me. He appeared a little nervous.

“Grayson?” I whispered afraid to startle him as I tied my silky bathrobe.

“I know I promised you a traditional Christmas, but I want to give you one of your gifts early.”

Curiously, I asked, “Is it something I want?”

“God, I hope so,” he mumbled before tugging me down the hall.

My eyes bulged and I gasped when I entered the living room. The lights were all off replaced with the soft glow of candle light that flickered making the room look like it was pulsating. They were spread everywhere, resting on any available surface. The tree glowed with its soft white lights as well. The scent of vanilla mixed with the evergreen of the tree filled the room and the two together would forever remind me of this Christmas. Our first Christmas. There was soft instrumental Christmas music playing in the background helping set the gentle ambience.

“I wasn’t in the shower that long,” I insisted glancing around the room. “How’d you do this?”

His lips quirked up into a seductive half grin. “This was all made possible,” he gestured around the room, “thanks to you and my new vampire speed.” His fingers locked with mine, pulling me further into the room.

“Is this my gift?” I smiled loving the idea of making love in the candle light.

His steps faltered before coming to a stop dead center of the room. “Not entirely. It’s part of it.” Grayson spun around to face me. I watched as the candle light glowed against his face, highlighting his chiseled features. Still gripping my hand he fell to one knee causing my heart to skip a beat before taking off like I was running a marathon.

“Ohmygod,” I breathed.

“I wanted to wait until Christmas, but I can’t wait another moment.” I bit my lip to stop a sob from breaking through. Of course I had thought of this moment on a few occasions since I started dating Grayson. What girl didn’t? My imagination had nothing on the real thing. “Gabriella Elizabeth Carmichael, I have loved you from almost the instant you ran head first into me, while you were too busy looking for your phone.”

I giggled and sobbed at the same time. My eyes filled with tears. I let them run so they didn’t obscure my vision, but I didn’t dare wipe them. I didn’t want to miss a moment of what was unfolding before me.

“You are the most important person in the world to me and I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Yes, we have had our troubles, crazy vampires not excluded,” I chuckled again. “But I wouldn’t change a moment of it because during it all, you were with me. You already have my heart.” His eyes locked with the heart shaped diamond I wore around my neck that I hadn’t taken off since he placed it there.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a black velvet box. “Now let me give you my forever.” I felt my breathing increase and thought I was going to hyperventilate. I didn’t even know if vampires could hyperventilate. “Please would you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife so we can spend eternity together?” He opened the box. The sound of the squeaky spring drew my attention to it. I inhaled sharply. There nestled in white stood a beautiful round cut diamond. It was easily three karats. It rested on a platinum band. There was nothing else to the ring, and frankly it needed nothing more. Grayson picked exactly what I would have chosen myself, simple, but exquisite, except I might have gone smaller. Seeing it, I knew it was perfect and because he chose it. I wouldn’t change a thing.

My hand clutched my throat holding back the sob that was threatening to break free. I nodded rapidly unable to speak. Grayson grinned brilliantly at me. Pulling the ring from the box, he slid it into place on my left ring finger. He jolted up wrapping me in his embrace, spinning me around in circles while I laughed at his elation. Tangling my fingers in his hair I brought my mouth to his, kissing my fiancé for the first time.

I pressed my tongue against his lips coaxing them open. When my tongue touched his, he groaned. Gripping my thighs he wrapped my legs around his waist.

“Wait,” he pulled back. “I know where this is going and as much as I want to make love to my fiancée, there’s a little more I want to say,” he spoke gripping me a little tighter. I looked into his eyes. There was a peacefulness to them, but a resolve as well. No overwhelming emotions, just a calm that settles on you without your realization. “I want you to know that I am okay without our regular human life. I know you are hunting down your father because of the effect we believe your blood has on me, but if for some reason he can’t help us or if you change your mind about finding him, know that I would give up my human existence for you. Sleep through the day, go out at night and I would never resent you for it. That’s what this is for.” He toyed with my new ring. “I want you to know that no matter what happens I will always want you and love you.” He pulled my hand to his mouth, brushing his lips over the back of my knuckles.

I smiled softly at him, but it didn’t reach my eyes. It was small; just enough to show that I understood what he said, but I hoped it didn’t come to that. I wanted Grayson to have his life, the same one he had always had, and to have the future he envisioned for himself, but that was not the only issue. Grayson wasn’t able to drink human blood and without it… I couldn’t even think of what that meant. I would hate myself enough for both of us if my coming into his life stripped away what he had been building for himself, but I doubted I could live with myself if I lost him.

“I love you, Grayson.”

“I love you more, Gaby.” He lips fell against mine and everything else was momentarily forgotten as I made love to my future husband.

 

 

Lying together in bed with Grayson, with his body pressed against mine cocooning me in warmth and safety, should have felt blissful. Now that he was asleep and no longer distracting me, my mind couldn’t help but wander to where it always did lately. My father and Grayson’s blood intolerance. I needed to do something, but with Shawn and Grayson teaming up to keep me otherwise occupied; it left me no time to deal with the issues at hand. Grayson tried convincing me that with my mother busy making calls and trying to track down information there was no reason for me to be redoing everything she had already done. I didn’t care anymore. I looked down at my new ring. He thought I would be reassured by it, but it only made me more desperate. I wanted this settled and to have the answers to my questions. Most of all I needed Grayson safe. This life we shared together, I wanted it forever.

Then again there was still Ava. She was out there somewhere plotting her misguided revenge. The nest had been trying to keep tabs on her until she just up and disappeared. Last they knew she was across the country in California. She would make her move eventually; I just needed to be ready. If it wasn’t for Grayson’s blood issues Ava wouldn’t even be a blimp on my radar, but for now, he was vulnerable.

Unwrapping Grayson from around me, being careful not to disturb him, I slipped from the bed. Needing something to cover myself and not caring what it was I reached into my drawers opening and closing them each carefully. I grabbed a bra and panties along with a white t-shirt and jeans. Slipping everything on, I tiptoed from the room. I was more careful than I had been in the past. I used to sneak out on Grayson all the time back when I was living at the nest. My mother had wanted me home every night even though I was a grown woman. That was also when Grayson was still human. Now with his vampire hearing, the slightest thing could rouse him.

Once out of the room, I blurred to the door sliding into the pair of shoes I had worn that morning then quietly exited the apartment.

Jumping into a cab, it wasn’t long before I arrived at the nest. It was still early, by vampire standards, giving me a chance to catch my mother. I didn’t know how her schedule might have changed now that she was the leader.

When I entered the dining area, I was met with the same uncomfortableness that had befallen on me during my last visit. My mother sat at the head of a table and her eyes, along with everyone else’s, were instantly drawn to me. Holding her hand up to me, I halted my steps watching as she drew one last drink from her glass before coming to me.

“What an unexpected surprise, Gabriella,” she announced drawing me into her embrace.

“I need to speak with you,” I muttered.

She sighed, “I figured you would soon. Come.”

She led me down the hall to where I knew Anton’s office was. I suppose it was her office now. I had only been in there a handful of times over my twenty three years living at the nest, but it looked different now, yet still much the same. I was stunned when the door shut and all the outside noise disappeared. The room was vampire sound proofed.

“There is still no news, Gabriella. A simple phone call could have answered that question for you,” she spoke sliding in behind her desk.

I ran my fingers through my dark locks before clenching it between them, feeling the pull against my scalp. “This is so frustrating!” I exclaimed. “Do you know that Grayson has it arranged so I can’t do anything?”

She shrugged. “He doesn’t want you to worry darling. That is understandable.”

“But I want to help. I need to help.”

My mother looked at me with sympathy gliding across her youthful features. “There is nothing you can do that we have not done already.”

I shook my head trying to ease my irritation. “I can go look for him. Perhaps I could find him.”

“Where would you start? Seattle is his last known location and that was twenty three years ago. They haven’t heard from him. We’ve already put out calls to the surrounding nests. There is not much else that can be done. Your father is a master mind at hiding. He always has been with the amount of enemies he’s ensnared. If he doesn’t want to be found then he won’t be. It is as simple as that.”

“I don’t care. I can start there and work my way around. Maybe he’s just in hiding.” I knew I was being irrational, but I was frustrated and sick of doing nothing.

“And what of Grayson? Hmm… Are you going to take him with you? Force him to leave the life you are struggling so hard for him to keep or are you going to leave him alone without your blood, without protection against those who seek vengeance on you?”

Ava. If I left Grayson, even leaving him bags of my blood, Ava could see this as her perfect opportunity to strike and make me feel the pain she felt. I couldn’t risk it. Grayson’s strength had diminished since he first transitioned. He was growing weaker by the day. Seeing the defeat in my eyes, my mother wrapped her arms around me. She cradled my head to her shoulder just as she had when I was a child. I breathed in her scent. She smelt clean, like fresh soap.

“Go home, Gabriella. Enjoy the holiday with your mate. I’ve spoken with him and he is aware of what may happen and is content with it. You should be too.” She held my hands in hers. Feeling the ring on my finger, she looked down at it, fingering it before giving me a gentle, knowing smile.

I heaved a heavy breath trying to let go of the powerlessness I felt, which didn’t ease, but I did as my mother suggested. I returned home to Grayson, to our Christmas filled apartment, and climbed into bed, letting the love I felt for him wash over me as I drifted off to a restless sleep.