Chapter Fifteen
After sneaking out of Holly’s bedroom before dawn, Josh now paced the beach, having spent the darker hours alternating between swimming and sitting on the bottom of the ocean, deep in thought.
What the fuck was he going to do?
He’d gotten himself into such a goddamn mess that maybe he should just stay under the surf until he had some epiphany on how to make this situation better, or drowned, whichever came first.
Fuck.
The white sand warmed beneath his feet as the sun rose higher in the sky, and all around him the vacationers awoke to another glorious day in paradise. He glanced at his watch. He and his coworkers were all to convene over breakfast in twenty minutes, but he had no intention of going. How could he face Holly until he had a game plan?
His mind raced, sorting through all that had happened over the last week with Holly, and the way she’d wound herself around his heart and had him realigning his priorities. The future he’d laid out depended on the big payout from this job, but threat or no threat against her life, keeping the money now felt wrong. So damn wrong.
He scrubbed the scruff on his chin and watched the surf. Maybe he could talk to Blair, let him know his daughter was quite capable of taking care of herself. And if that still didn’t get him to back the hell off and let her live her own life, he’d assure the man that no harm would ever come to her because he’d be by her side, personally seeing to it.
But did she want that? She’d made it clear that she didn’t want anything past this week. But what if, like him, things had changed? A strangled noise rose from his throat. Even if she had developed deeper feelings for him, he had no doubt they’d change to hate once she found out who he was.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
As he battled with his conscience, hating that he’d misled her and kept his fucking identity a secret, he paced the shore, the cold water rushing up and over his feet as he ran his hands through his short hair. Was he really just going to let her walk out of his life today? Hell, no. He needed to tell her the truth, confess everything. She deserved better from him.
“Josh,” a female voice called out.
He spun to find a smiling Anita coming his way. Great. Just what he needed when he was in the middle of an ethical debate with himself.
“Look at you,” she said, going up on her toes to rake her hand through is hair.
He pulled back. “Yeah, I decided to cut it.”
She blinked dark lashes over dark eyes, blatantly flirting with him. “You look good. I can finally see that handsome face of yours.”
“Thanks.” He took in her pretty sundress, and feeling the need to say something back, he responded with, “You look nice.”
“Thanks.” She must have taken that as an invitation to touch him because she put her hand on his chest. “You coming to breakfast?”
“No, not hungry.”
She eyed him. “Really? Now why do I find that hard to believe?”
“Just have some things on my mind.”
Her eyes widened. “The promotion?”
“Yeah.” Shit, what was going to happen if Holly didn’t get it? She’d be crushed. His gut tightened.
“Rumor has it Jeff is announcing the new senior analyst at the meeting after breakfast. You going to come to that?”
“I’ll be there.”
“What should I say if he asks where you are? You know, not showing up could look bad.” She stepped closer and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I mean we are, after all, supposed to be bonding as a group”—she paused to give him a slow, inviting smile—“or individually.”
He inched back. “I’ll be fine.”
“Whatever you say. See you soon.” She gave a little finger wave, and with an extra shake to her hips, she sauntered off.
Josh glanced up to see Holly walking toward the buffet. Had she seen the way Anita was touching him? Did she even care? Fuck, if another man laid a hand on her, he’d go bat-shit crazy. Fierce possessiveness raged inside him, and he sucked in air to calm himself.
They needed to talk.
…
The phone in Holly’s bag kept chirping. It was Sam texting, but she wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone. Not even her best friend. All she wanted to think about was last night, and how after dinner she and Josh went back to her place, where he had touched her and made sweet, sweet love to her. But this morning she was all tied up in knots because Josh was hanging at the beach instead of making his way to breakfast. Was he avoiding her?
He didn’t seem to be avoiding Anita, however. The woman had her hands all over him. As Holly cut through the path and made her way to the buffet, she tried to ignore the jealousy taking up residence in her gut, tried to pass it off as nothing. Easier said than done after Josh had snuck out of her room in the wee hours of the morning without so much as a kiss or a good-bye, and was now dodging her.
She swallowed against the unease racing through her veins, and tried to wrap her head around this new Josh, and his distant behavior. They were headed home in a few hours. Maybe this was his way of severing the intimacy, cutting things off abruptly and pulling back because it was time to end this, and he didn’t want her to get any wrong ideas about where they went from here.
Laughter from her coworkers reached her ears as she entered the outdoor buffet area and went straight for the coffee. She carried her mug back to the table and sat. Colin grabbed the seat beside her. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his camera.
“I’ve been wanting to show you these pictures.”
“Oh, okay,” she said, injecting a little enthusiasm into her voice. No need to take her foul mood out on Colin. He was only trying to be nice. With a huge smile on his face, he flipped through the pictures. Around them, everyone filled their plates and ate, but she had no appetite, so she simply sat there and nursed her coffee.
“Look at this one. That turtle had to be at least a hundred pounds.”
“He’s beautiful.”
She smiled, remembering her time on the boat and how much fun she had, but then Colin flipped to a picture of her and Josh on the catamaran eating lunch. Her heart missed a beat at the way Josh was looking at her in the photo.
Everything she felt for the man rushed to the surface. “I don’t remember you taking that,” she said, her voice a little wobbly.
“Yeah, I was just snapping pictures of everyone. Wanted to catch them relaxing, unaware.” He gave a heavy sigh. “I have a confession, Holly,” he said.
She looked up and took in the crease on his brow. “What?”
“I was going to ask you out, but I think I’d be taking my life into my hands if I did.”
“What do you mean?”
He scoffed. “Did you not see the way Josh was looking at you in that picture?”
She glanced at the camera screen again, and her heart thundered. “He’s just looking at me.”
“Yeah, as I guy, I know that look. Josh is letting every other guy know you’re his and to back the hell off.”
Her stomach took flight. Could Colin have been right? Was a future between them possible? If so, why was he being so aloof this morning? Why had he snuck out of her bed without so much as a word to her?
She touched the screen. “You think?”
“Yeah, I think.”
She turned in her seat, sensing Josh in the near vicinity. She scanned the area, then zeroed in on him, taking in his khaki shorts and T-shirt as he leaned against one of the pillars, his eyes shooting daggers at Colin. Her heart flipped. Was that jealousy in his eyes? If so, that meant he cared, right? After a good hard glare, he reached into his pocket and swiped the screen of his phone, his face hard and dangerous as he read something.
Jeff appeared and clapped his hands. “Everyone to the boardroom,” he said. “Time to tally our scores. And I have a big announcement.” Josh shoved the phone back into his pocket and pushed off the pillar.
Holly stood on wobbly legs and followed Jeff and the others to the main building. Her phone kept chirping. What the hell was so urgent that Samantha kept texting her? She reached into her purse, but Josh stepped up to her, blocking her path.
“We need to talk,” he said, his body rigid, his gaze intense as it latched on hers.
“Okay.” His hand captured hers, and she dropped her phone back into her purse. He was about to guide her away when Jeff came up to them and jerked his thumb out.
“The meeting is this way,” he said. The muscles on Josh’s jaw clenched and he just stood there for a moment, like he was debating his next move. “Come on, you two.”
Josh’s gaze locked on hers and he said again, “We need to talk.”
“After the meeting,” Jeff said, annoyance in his tone.
They followed Jeff into the room, and Josh mumbled curses the whole way as his phone buzzed in his pocket.
“You might want to turn that off for the meeting,” Jeff warned.
“Yeah. Okay.” They entered the conference room and Josh reached into his pocket. His vibrating phone slipped from his hand and landed at Holly’s feet. She bent to retrieve it, but Josh grabbed her hand to stop her.
“Holly, don’t.”
“What—” she began, her gaze going from the phone to Josh back to the phone again. When she saw the name on the screen, and read the partial message, the air left her lungs in a whoosh, and the room began to spin before her eyes.
“It’s not what you think,” Josh said quickly. He took the phone from her and jammed it into his pocket.
“It’s not what I think?” she asked, her voice bordering on hysteria. “How could it not be what I think?”
“Well, it is, but let me explain.” He continued to talk, ramble, clarify, but she could barely breathe as the full weight of his words hit like a hard slap to the face.
Why the hell is he communicating with my father?
Oh God, no!
Her hands shook as a desperate sort of anger took hold, and she fought to keep herself in check, not wanting to make a scene in front of all these people. But not even anger could mask the hurt welling up inside her, threatening to consume her. She’d trusted him. He’d asked for everything from her this week, and like a damn fool she’d given it to him, her heart included. And all this time he was playing with her.
How could I have thought he was different?
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Hadn’t she learned long ago never to let anyone in, never to trust? She never should have opened up to him, bonded with him, or become partners in anything, inside the bedroom or out. She should have just done everything on her own. Don’t let anyone in. Don’t get hurt.
Never again, Holly. Never again.
Her chirping phone was getting on her last nerve. As her head throbbed, she reached for her cell to shut it down, but read the message flashing on her screen.
I did research. I know Josh’s sister. He is a former Navy SEAL, and he now works for your dad. Anna said he was off babysitting some princess!
Her pulse crashed against her throat, the muscles in her joints tightening as heartache set her chest on fire. Her throat grew scratchy from her shallow breaths, her mind sorting through the week, the events, and Josh’s ability to face and conquer every situation with practiced ease.
“Why?” was all she could bring herself to say, as all eyes in the room watched them both.
He scrubbed his chin and shifted from one foot to the other. “I’m sorry, Holly. You have to believe me.”
“Believe you? Why should I believe anything you say?” As she looked him over, taking in his short hair and chiseled jaw, she shook her head. Boy Scouts, my ass. She should have known. The signs were all there, but she’d chosen to ignore him. All those times she talked about her father, opened up to him, he knew. Knew who she really was. What a laugh he must have been having.
Josh Steele, Navy SEAL. Her babysitter and a man she didn’t know at all. Was Mrs. J even real? Jesus, she had no idea what to think anymore. No idea what was true and what wasn’t.
“Sorry for what, exactly? Lying to me, or sleeping with me.” A hush came over the room.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Everything.”
Her heart pounded so hard it was drumming in her ears. “So you were paid to be here, then?”
“Yes.”
“To make sure nothing happened to me?”
The look of unease that momentarily crossed his face had her stepping backward. Oh God, it was worse than she thought.
“You father said there was a threat against your life.”
“You know that’s not true right.”
“How could I know?” he said. She shook her head, and he went on, “I thought I was doing what was best for you. I thought getting you home under your father’s care was the right thing to do.” He scrubbed his chin. “I thought you were something you weren’t.”
She fought back the tears. What was it with her father and his men thinking they knew what was best for her? “What did you think I was, Josh?”
“I thought if things didn’t go your way, you’d run home to daddy, and I thought that’s where you belonged.” Her throat tightened as the pieces fell into place. She made a noise, half laugh, half cry. He reached for her, but she pulled back. “I don’t think that way any—”
“Just stop. I don’t want to hear it.” She turned to Jeff who was watching them carefully. “Who is the senior analyst position going to?” she asked point-blank.
Jeff squared his shoulders and stayed silent. But his silence spoke volumes.
She swiped at her face, hating that she was crying. “I get it. Not me.” Her gaze flew back to Josh, defeat hitting like a sucker punch. She threw her hands up in the air. “Looks like I’m stuck in a dead-end job, so I might as well throw in the towel and go back home to daddy. I guess you and my father finally get what you wanted.”
“Holly, please.” He reached for her, but she pulled away again.
“I hope it was a big payout, Josh. Must have been a week of hell for you. You know, sleeping with a princess like me.” She turned her back to him and tried to keep her head high as she made her way to the door. Before she exited, she said, “Don’t ever speak to me again.”