It had been exactly one week since I laid eyes on Tucker. Seven long, torturous days. Seven days where I felt the loneliest I had ever felt. I’d thought about going to his apartment every day, but each time I managed to talk myself out of it.
I was still mad at him for lying to me about Rock Bottom, I was so ashamed of myself for the way I had treated him, and I was scared to death that he wasn’t going to want me anymore. That was my biggest fear of all.
My need to see him was consuming me, but I was even more consumed by my fear of his rejection. It terrified me. I couldn’t handle it.
Brooke had encouraged me to go to him. She was mad about his lie to me as well, but she was more disappointed in me. Understandably so. Hell, I was disappointed in myself. How could she not be?
I hadn’t heard him either. I lay in bed at night, perfectly still, praying that I heard him. Just something to give me the tiniest piece of him. Something to let me know he was okay. But I also laid in fear; fear that I would hear another woman. Fear that I would hear him moving on.
Three loud raps at the door pulled my attention away from my Kindle. I looked down at myself and cringed. I was wearing my Gryffindor pajama bottoms with a white tank top, and I was pretty sure that I had been wearing them for three days straight. There was a stain on the front of my shirt, and I wasn’t even sure where it came from. My hair was in a knot on top of my head, and I was a little bit scared to look in the mirror. I knew that I looked like a hot mess.
I cautiously pulled the door open and peeked into the hallway. My breath rushed out of me when I saw Tucker standing there. He looked handsome as ever in a black suit with a white dress shirt. He wore no tie and the top couple buttons were undone making him look impossibly sexy.
“Hey.” I ran my hand over my hair and wished that I had at least taken a moment to make sure I looked okay. Here he stood looking like the bachelor that he was, and I reeked of heartbreak. It seeped from my pores.
“I need you to sign this.” He shoved a few sheets of paper into my hands, and I stared at his vacant eyes.
“Okay.” I looked down at the paper and saw that it was a disclosure agreement. “What is this for?”
“I need your permission to use your photographs. We have some interest in publishing them, and it will be good for advertisement.”
“Oh. Okay. Sure.” Normally, I would have asked where they were publishing them, but it was obvious by Tucker’s curt words that he had no interest in talking to me more than he had to. I would sign it regardless. I would give him anything he needed.
“Do you want to come in?” My voice was as small as I felt. “I need to grab a pen.”
I started heading inside, but he stopped me with the click of a pen.
“I have one.”
He didn’t look at me as he handed the pen over to me careful not to allow our skin to touch, and it crushed me.
I pressed the paper against the front door and quickly signed my name where it was flagged to do so before handing it back to him. He still didn’t look up at me, his eyes directly on the paper, so I held them when he tried to pull them away from me. Forcing him to look up.
“I’m sorry, Tuck.”
His pupils dilated, but otherwise, there was no change, he was completely stoic.
“Thanks for signing these.” He pulled on the papers again and this time I let them slip from my fingers. As easily as I had allowed him to.
Without another word, he walked away without a backward glance, and for the second time in seven long, torturous, lonely days my heart shattered into a million pieces.
…
On day ten post-Tucker, Brooke finally dragged me out of the apartment. I hadn’t had a photo shoot in those ten days, and I was thankful that I had blocked that time off in case I was still needed for Rock Bottom. I needed my camera in my hand, but I needed the time to wallow more. The images I sent to Chloe were amazing. I know that it was my own work, but I was blown away by how good they turned out. I had never been so proud of my work.
Chloe sent me an email raving about the photographs, but I didn’t hear anything about them from Tucker. He didn’t even mention them when he came to have me sign the disclosure agreement. I was worried and stressed that he didn’t like them, and the thought of Tucker’s disapproval of my work hurt me far more than my parents’ ever could.
I had spent the last ten days doing nothing but editing images, reading books, and drowning myself in rocky road ice cream. Today was the first day that I put clothes on that weren’t pajamas even though my yoga pants and long-sleeved T-shirt practically felt like pajamas.
I put on my oversized sunglasses as we left our apartment building, and with every step I took, I searched for Tucker. When we finally stepped outside, I sighed and breathed in the fresh air. It tasted strange on my tongue.
I could see Brooke watching me out of the corner of her eye. Probably waiting for me to break down, and after the way I have acted the last ten days, I didn’t blame her. But I didn’t have any tears left. I was completely dried out.
I tugged the hem of my shirt as we began walking down the sidewalk. We had decided that we were going to walk to go get lunch, and it felt good to be out of the apartment. I felt slightly like a vampire after not being in direct sunlight for so many days, but the sun warmed my skin against the chill in the air and I was thankful.
We were almost to the small café that we both loved when I completely regretted my decision to leave the four walls of my home that had been keeping me safe from the world. Safe from reality.
My brother was stepping out of a restaurant with Jessica by his side except he didn’t really look like my brother. One of his eyes was bruised with purple, green, and yellow colors swirling around and showing that the bruise was probably days old. The left side of his bottom lip was swollen and a small cut tore through his normally pursed lips.
He glanced at me before turning his gaze to his fiancée, and I thought that I made it out without him noticing me until his gaze snapped back to mine.
Pure fury rested there, and I return his stare hoping mine read the same.
I hope he could see how badly he’s hurt me.
“Kennedy.” He nodded his head at me politely, always the diplomat.
“What the hell happened to you?” I wasn’t going to talk to him, but I couldn’t help it. I had to know.
“Don’t act like you don’t know,” he practically growled at me.
I jolted back slightly at the venom in his voice, but I prayed he didn’t see it. I would not falter in front of him. I looked at Brooke but she just shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I think I would remember if I knew what happened to him. It would probably be the highlight of my damn year.
“So you’re telling me that you didn’t sic your little boyfriend on me?”
I shook my head no, but then Tucker’s words came back to me. I’ll kill them.
“What?” It couldn’t be true. Tucker didn’t even care about me anymore.
“Your thug of a boyfriend paid me a little visit the other day. Like he has the right to tell me what to do or don’t do. Like he has the right to tell me what to do with my sister.” He was practically in my face now, but I didn’t back down. I wouldn’t show him any fear. “He told me to stay away from you, but maybe I should have told him the same. You’re nothing but trash.”
The next thing that happened was like an outer body experience. A hand flew through the air and slapped my brother’s face with a power I didn’t know I possessed. Except, I didn’t possess it. My best friend did.
Her perfectly pink manicured hand made a loud sound when it connected with his cheek, and I couldn’t stop from smiling when I saw that she had managed to reopen the cut on his lip and a trickle of blood trailed down his chin. He looked momentarily stunned and so did Jessica who was hanging off his arm.
“If you ever talk to my best friend that way again, I will do far worse than Tucker Moore managed to do to you.” She was pointing her finger into his face, and I had to physically work at not busting out in laughter.
My brother opened his mouth to say something, but when Brooke stepped closer to him, he very smartly shut his mouth. He stared at me for several moments. His anger rolling off him in waves, and for the first time in ten days, a genuine smile formed on my face.
…
“I cannot believe that just happened.” I slid into the booth and looked at my best friend who was bouncing on her toes like a boxer.
“I can.” She swung her arms around in what I think she thought was a boxing move but didn’t resemble anything I’d ever seen on television. “I am so pumped right now.”
“Sit down before our server thinks we’re crazy and kicks us out.”
She plopped down in the booth across from me, but she didn’t drop the shit-eating grin from her face.
“I should join MMA,” she said seriously, and I rolled my eyes.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. You slapped one person.”
“I know.” Her voice was giddy. “But did you see that slap? It was amazing.”
“It was amazing.” I nodded in agreement. “I would pay good money to see it again.”
“I would have paid to see Tucker kick his ass.” She was still smiling, but her words practically plunged into my chest. Why did he do it?
Hope exploded in my chest like wildfire. I couldn’t allow myself to believe it. I couldn’t get my hopes up just to be dashed again. I couldn’t handle his rejection a second time.
“Yeah. It would have been awesome.” I picked up my menu and fiddled with the tethered edge.
“What’s going through that head of yours, Kennedy?”
“Tucker,” I replied honestly.
“What about him?” She rested her chin on her palms.
“Everything. How much I miss him. How big of an idiot I have been. How badly I want to see him.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m just a mess really.”
“Why don’t you talk to him? Put yourself out there.”
“Because I’m scared.” It was the truest statement I had said in a long time.