Emerson
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”
I force a smile as I look away from Spencer and Gianna, pretending the idea of being alone isn’t the last thing I want at this moment. “For the third time, I’m sure. I’m gonna enjoy this leftover Chinese,” I lift the box and wiggle it from side to side, “as well as my glass of wine before taking a long shower and calling it a night.”
Gia knows me too well and I see a telling look flash in her eyes, only before she can say anything there is a knock on the door behind them. Each of us look in its direction, but none of us move.
“You expecting company?” Spence asks Gia, and she shakes her head.
Another knock sounds, and Spencer takes a step toward the door. The minute it opens I feel like the air has been knocked out of me. Nic stands on the other side, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a bag of takeout in the other. He looks past Spencer and Gianna, his eyes focused only on me.
He wears a V-neck sweater, charcoal in color and hugging his arms and chest. Jeans that fit him to perfection in all the right spots. I’d seen him in a variety of clothes, suits and even sleepwear, but I’ll admit, seeing him casual is my favorite. He isn’t a fancy man, but he is one who has a way of making his presence known.
“Hey brother,” Spencer speaks, breaking the trance I find myself in as I quickly avert my eyes. “How’s your little vacation going?”
It is the first time I’ve seen Nic since he left here a few days ago. We haven’t talked and I’ve done an excellent job of avoiding the topic of him and me since Gianna had found it was easier for me to ignore it than face it.
“I thought he was on suspended leave?” Gia asks, appearing confused. The word “suspended” gains my full attention as I look up again to find him still watching me.
“You were suspended?” The question leaves my lips before I can stop it. “Why?”
Silence fills the room as our friends stand between us, looking back and forth but saying nothing. Nic shifts the weight of his body from one foot to the next as he looks away from me.
“We were just heading out for dinner and a movie.” Gia finally breaks the silence. “We’d invite ya along, but from the looks of it, you both are set in the food and drink category.” With a shrug, she grabs Spencer by the arm and leads him out the door. “By the way, I’m staying at Spence’s tonight.”
As the door is pulled closed behind them, I faintly hear Spence tell her he thought they were staying here. I know what she is doing and though I appreciate her looking out for what she feels I need, I also wish she would just let it go.
The sound of a bag rustling makes me jump in reaction and I silently lecture myself for getting wound so tight from Nic being this close.
“I see you have leftovers.” I look up and am met with his sweet smile, the same smile that made my heart race the first night I saw him standing on the stage and again every moment after that. “But I stopped by that deli you like so much and picked up the soup and subs you like. Plus I brought your favorite wine.”
He looks so relaxed, nothing like I feel inside. I guess somehow in my mind I still think that him being here would only further complicate my life. My father's threats ring heavy in my mind, on repeat.
“Thought we could have dinner together, and talk.” He steps closer and the smell of his cologne fills the air around me, a fragrance that reminds me of the times I’d had with him before my father tainted them.
“I miss you, Emerson.” I close my eyes tightly as I grip the edge of the countertop so forcefully my fingers ache. “I've missed you every minute since you chose to push me away. I don’t give a shit about where you come from or what you have, I only care about you.”
A single tear runs over my cheek as I quickly wipe it away to hide the evidence.
“My God, woman, you have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are. I wish you could see what I see. See the person you are, the woman standing before me.” Instinctively I shake my head no.
“Yes.” I feel his hand as he places it over mine and he moves around the end of the counter.
As he steps up behind me, I’ll admit it feels nice to be this close to him. I can count on one hand the times I’d felt safe over the last six months, and each of those times I was in Nic’s arms.
“I want the chance to remind you of what we could have. The chance to make you remember what we felt like.”
“I don’t need you to remind me Nic, I’ve never forgotten. Something that safe you just don’t let go of.”
“But you did,” he whispers near my ear as he steps close behind me. “You pushed me away and now you won’t let me back in.”
“I don’t know how,” I confess, feeling my chest grow tight. “I knew from the start that pulling you into my mess would only somehow make your life just as messy and unsettled. You’ve been placed on some probation. The thing you love most is being toyed with for what? Because of some power trip by my father.”
The entire time I ramble, he says nothing which makes me turn around in his arms to face him.
“How is that fair, Nic?” I ask as I look up at him. “How is it fair that I let him ruin what you’ve worked so hard to accomplish just because I chose to be selfish and not let you go?” He smiles as he looks at me like nothing I said matters, which only furthers my irritation. “How can you pretend this isn’t crazy, that I’m even worth all this mess? I’m not, Nic. I’m just a woman that you shared a few—”
His lips cover mine, stopping me from finishing the sentence. I moan against them, both in frustration and in satisfaction. I know I should’ve pushed him away, but I can’t seem to force myself to do it. Just for a brief second, I want to allow myself to remember what kissing him feels like.
Suddenly his hands are sneaking around my waist as he pulls me forward before cupping my ass and lifting me up. He places me on the countertop behind me and moves into the space between my now parted legs. “I love you,” he whispers into our kiss, not giving me the chance to argue before he covers my mouth once more.
He tastes so good. I’ve always had a hard time resisting his kisses. They are consuming, the way he conquers my mouth and owns me.
“I was placed on leave because I didn’t disclose my involvement with you. It had nothing to do with your father, but more my silence.” I lean away from him when he tries to kiss me again. My hands press to his chest and I force him to remain at a distance.
“What does you being involved with me have anything to do with your job?”
“The case,” he corrects, “the young woman we found in the hotel. I never should’ve been assigned to the case because it's a conflict of interest. My involvement with you when your father is under investigation—they see that as an interference.”
“What?”
“I don’t know the exact details, because they’ve kept me in the dark over the last week. But what I do know is that your father's whereabouts are in question as well as those of the head of security.” My heart rate feels like it triples as I listen to Nic. “Any time we have direct involvement with anyone that has ties to a case, it is an automatic conflict of interest. But I didn’t say anything because my need to take care of the man that wronged you clouded my judgment.”
“Nic.”
“I told you from the beginning that your father doesn’t scare me. That hasn’t changed, Em, he’s not gonna force me to walk away from you. No one can.” I arch my brow at him, and he smiles. “Not even you can, sweetheart.”
I want to argue, but what is the point? He has that determined look in his eyes that ensures it will be a battle I would not win.
“I’ve made my mind up about something.”
“What’s that?” I ask as I allow him to move toward me once more as he places one hand on either side of my waist.
“I’m not going to let you end this.” Again I gave him an “oh really” stare. “You can find me and tell me over and over that you don’t want this, but I know different. You still have that same hungry look in your eyes that you held that night of the auction.”
“It was the alcohol.” I try not to smile, but I can’t control it.
“It was me,” he corrects with a cocky smirk. “That look alone, I’ll admit it right now, struck something inside me I didn’t know was there. I knew then that I wanted to be owned by the gorgeous woman in the silver dress, the same gorgeous woman that sits before me now. I didn’t give a shit about anything else other than the way she made my pulse race and my body feel so fucking alive.”
He leans in and brushes his lips over mine. “And you hadn’t even touched me yet. That was enough for me to know that once you did I’d never be the same.”
I rest my forehead to his and try to find all the reasons I’d come up with why he and I couldn’t be together. But the truth is none of them matter anymore; none of them feel like enough to make me walk away.
“For me, Em, there’s no walking away. I tried, I attempted to forget you, but I can’t. The truth is I don’t like what life feels like without you in it.”
“But you haven’t even known me for that long.” I keep my eyes closed, doing my best to hold back the tears.
“Maybe,” he agrees, “but I don’t remember what life was like before I met you and I don’t want to remember.”
That is my breaking point, and I reach out, wrap my arms around his neck, and hold him tightly against me. “I love you, too,” I finally confess, instantly feeling the tension in his shoulders fade.
“Come home with me,” he whispers into the crook of my neck. “I’m not asking for you to move in, though you need to know that offer still stands. I’m asking for you to spend the night. Or the week, month, year, whatever.” I feel his lips turn against my neck and know he is smiling. “I want to hold you close. I need to have you in my arms.”
How I ever thought I could walk away from Nic and remain intact is beyond me. He is demanding and domineering, yet he has such a sweet and gentle side too; one I know he doesn’t show everyone, but freely shows me.
“Can we eat first?”
“As long as you promise me that you won’t change your mind by the time you’re finished.” When he stands tall, his stare connecting with mine, I allow my palm to run along his chest. The firmness of his pecs, the curve of his torso as it tapers toward his waist is a reminder of just how perfect this man is, both inside and out.
“I promise,” I finally reply. “Besides, I’ve missed Jax.”
The way Nic rolls his eyes makes me laugh. It is so childlike and free of the tension that filled the room only a few minutes ago.
“Plus…” He narrows his eyes like he’s prepared for my next smartass dig, only I was completely serious about my next confession. “I miss feeling safe, and when I’m with you, I cannot help but feel as though I’m protected.”
“Always.” He leans in quick and kisses me with determination. I swear in his movements I feel his lips tremble against my own but I don’t question it. I embrace that he and I are an us. Fighting it is a waste of time.