Chapter 21
Jonah hated hotels almost as much as he hated hangovers that set in before he went to sleep. Unfortunately, he was dealing with both. And the pain behind his eyes and the antiseptic smell of the sheets in this prison cell of his own making paled in comparison to the hole in his chest Carla had left.
He wasn’t a foolish romantic boy anymore. He’d thought he’d been long past getting pulled in by a sweet girl with lots of issues. But apparently he hadn’t learned what he’d needed to from his history, and he had been doomed to repeat it.
As soon as he’d gotten checked in, he’d texted one of his reporter buddies. Brian had asked Jonah to go back to Syria with him, and he’d had to turn him down to go to the wedding. Before tonight—especially given the news about the baby—Jonah hadn’t wanted to go back. Ever since he’d found out he was going to be a father, he’d been thinking of leaving the news business behind and calling Charlie about that travel show. Now, he didn’t have any reason not to go back to what he’d been doing for years. He no longer had a woman—or a family—to consider.
He needed to get his life back on track—the lonely track he’d set for himself after leaving school.
He didn’t have any of his stuff; that was all at Carla’s, but he needed to wash the cigar smoke off. He’d grabbed a tube of toothpaste and some mouthwash from the gift shop downstairs so he could get the taste of whisky and tobacco out of his mouth. He showered, wanting to wash the whole night off of his skin. But it didn’t work. He didn’t feel like himself anymore. Being with Carla had changed him.
He picked up his phone and checked for calls. Brian had texted him back with flight information, but he wished Carla had called. He didn’t know what they could talk about. Hearing her say that she’d rather die than be with him had knocked him for a loop. He’d pegged Carla as a spoiled rich girl, but he hadn’t pegged her as thoughtless and cruel until tonight. She could say that she didn’t mean it, but she’d cut him open standing in that parking garage. He’d looked around, surprised not to see his guts splattered all over the pavement.
He crawled into bed because he should get some sleep before he left in the morning, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how stupid he was to fall for a woman who didn’t want him, who saw him as a means to an end. What had happened with Katie, and the aftermath, had been devastating. The aching in his chest and the feeling of emptiness inside told him that forgetting Carla would be just as hard. Still, after she’d tossed him aside in front of her whole family, he wanted to feel her skin against his.
So, he lay in a hotel bed, wishing he was with her while hating her guts.
He wasn’t going to peace out like his father had, but would Carla even let him see the kid? Or would her father’s lawyers find a way to shut him out? Maybe they’d both be better off if he disappeared.
Somehow, he must have dozed off with all of those questions in his head because he woke up to pounding on his door. The room was still dark, so he probably hadn’t been asleep for too long.
He put his pants back on and hobbled over to the door. He’d lied to Carla; Hector had put a hurting on him, and he would be stiff for days. When he looked through the peephole, he was shocked to see Lola standing there in a white suit, spine straight, ready to kick ass.
“Open the door, mijo.”
His scotch-soured stomach churned as he followed instructions, but when she pushed her way into the room he said, “I’m not your son. What are you doing here?”
Lola grabbed the torn shirt he’d been wearing the night before from the end of the bed and sniffed it. Her face scrunched up in disgust.
“Saving you from yourself.” She threw his shirt at him. She had a good arm for someone in her sixties. “And going to my niece’s wedding.”
“I don’t need saving.” Carla had saved him from both of themselves.
“Yes, you do.” She rolled her eyes. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been rolling around a parking lot with Hector at his daughter’s rehearsal dinner.”
“How do you even know about that?” He buttoned up his wrinkled shirt. “When did you even get here?”
She looked at him as though he was stupid, probably a good thing because he felt plenty stupid right now. “Do you have better clothes than that?”
He shook his head. “At Carla’s.”
Lola’s eyes went wide. “Well, you can’t go there right now. You broke her heart.”
“I think you have things reversed.”
“How so?” Lola propped one hand on her hip, a knowing smile on her face. “How did she break your heart?”
“She said she’d rather die than marry me.” God, he sounded so girly.
“Did she mean it?”
“No, but I told her about Katie, and she still said it.”
Lola walked over and sat in the desk chair, crossing her legs elegantly, letting him know she wasn’t leaving until the situation resolved itself to her satisfaction. “Did she apologize?”
“Yes, but she shouldn’t have said it.”
Lola inclined her head to the side. “Sort of like you said things you shouldn’t have to Katie? Things you couldn’t take back. Things you meant at the time.”
“She doesn’t even like me.”
“Ha!” Lola clapped her hands together and threw her head back. “That girl has more than liked you since you met. She says one stupid thing, and it’s all over? You’re going to lose your woman and your baby because she said one stupid thing?”
Jonah sat on the edge of the bed. “She’s better off.”
“Both of you children are very dumb.” Lola patted his head. “As soon as I get to Hector’s house, after dinner with my kids, he’s raging and screaming at the walls.”
“Because I fucked up.” His shoulders slumped forward.
“No, because both of you ‘fucked up.’”
“I don’t blame the guy for losing his shit. I got his daughter pregnant. It wasn’t supposed to be a thing. It was just going to be a one-night stand.”
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. The first night I saw you together, I knew that you were for each other.” Lola let out a rueful bark of a laugh. “I know you don’t like to feel obligated to anyone. But I know you, and you don’t give up when something’s right.”
Lola was wrong. He’d given up on relationships a long time ago. And he’d absolutely given up on relationships with coddled, fickle women like Carla. “She doesn’t even like me.”
“She does, too.”
“Then why was she using me as a scapegoat for her pregnancy?”
“That’s not what she was doing.” Lola flicked him in the back of his head. “Carla—she’s a special person. She’s not like her brother and sister. She’s not like her father, or even her mother. She only wants to make things around her beautiful.”
“I don’t see what this has to do with me.” Usually he had patience for Lola’s detours and digressions, but not right now. He got to his feet, but she grabbed his hand so he couldn’t walk away.
“It has everything to do with you.” She sat next to him and patted his hand. “The thing between you and Carlita is beautiful. I saw it the first night she got to the island. She never belonged with that stupid boy who dumped her. She belongs with someone like you who wasn’t about to let her off the hook for every damned thing—someone who wasn’t going to let her spark die.”
He sat back down, and she let go of his hand.
“I thought—when it was just us alone—I thought we could try to make something work. But family is everything to her, and they hate me.”
“Hector hates you, but Hector hates everyone.” She grabbed his hand again.
Jonah could see that, and hope cleared some of the fog in his brain. But he didn’t see the point if Carla didn’t want him as much as he wanted her.
“She doesn’t need me.”
Lola pinched him and gave him one of her rare sour looks. “Of course she needs you. She needs someone like you to challenge her. She needs someone like you to treat her gently. My family, we are not soft people. Even Carla’s mother is tough. Carla’s never felt like she measured up.” Lola put her pointer finger in his face. “But you see her for who she is. As soon as I saw you together,” she clapped her hands together sharply, “I knew that you would be good for Carlita.”
His heart beat faster. “I’m leaving in a few hours.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I have a job.”
Lola stood up, smiling at him. “You have a more important job.” She patted his cheeks. With him sitting, she was just about at eye level. “You’re going to be a father.”
His stomach lurched again. She winked at him as she walked toward the door, opening the door before stopping. “You’re going to figure things out. You’ll forgive her, and she’ll forgive you.”
“She was crying, and I made her go.”
“You’ll make it up to her.”
And then she walked out and closed the door behind her.
Jonah stood up, blood coursing through his veins and his legs anxious to move. He wasn’t sure what to do with everything she’d said. Jonah knew how to leave. That’s what had always worked for him.
If he wanted to be enough for Carla, if he was the man Lola thought he was, he would have to stick it out. He and Carla would have to learn to get angry with each other and talk about it instead of blowing up their lives. She would have to learn to be careful with him, and he would have to do the same with her. Their baby deserved two parents who loved her—and who could learn to love each other without it hurting all the time. He wanted that much more than he wanted to leave.
Now, he had to teach himself how to stay.
* * * *
How was it possible that she dragged herself out of bed?
Carla felt as though she’d been hit by a semitruck when she showed up at the hotel suite their mother had reserved for getting ready at around nine. They were all going to get made up and dressed, and Carla needed as much time for makeup as humanly possible. As she’d parked her car, she wondered if it was possible to get a face transplant for the day.
Between the not sleeping and the constant pukey feeling she had going on, the bags under her eyes, and the green tint to her skin, she felt epically ugly.
“You look terrible,” Maya said when Carla opened the door to the suite. She didn’t even have the energy to come up with a snappy comeback for her beautiful, honest future sister-in-law. And she looked particularly gorgeous today—without a stitch of makeup on. Carla hated her.
“Thanks.”
Maya took Carla’s dress bag to hang in the closet. “I’m going to get you some tea and me a mimosa, then, you’re going to tell me everything.”
Carla looked around for her sister. “Where’s Alana?” She felt comfortable telling Maya things that Alana would judge her for. Her future sister-in-law was a judgment-free zone when it came to this kind of thing. Maya had judgments, just not about sex or accidental pregnancies.
“She’s still sleeping.” Maya pointed to the closed door. “I’m fairly certain that Cole snuck in for a quickie before I got here.”
Carla sighed. “Of course he did.”
Maya got their drinks, and they both sat on the sofa, facing each other.
“I like him.”
“Who?”
Maya gave her an “oh please” look. Carla’s cheeks burned with shame at how she’d treated Jonah.
“I like him, too.”
“Then why did you say you didn’t last night?”
“I didn’t like him at first.” Carla knew those words weren’t quite right. “I mean when I showed up at Lola’s house, he was all growly and mean. He called me princess. And I wanted to punch him in the face every time he opened his mouth.”
“He didn’t just roll over and do what you wanted then?” Maya finished her mimosa in short course.
“Slow down there. Alana will kill you if you trip down the aisle.”
“Hours until the wedding, and you need my most uncensored advice.”
Carla wasn’t sure she could handle an uncensored Maya. Censored Maya already told her a lot of things she didn’t want to hear.
“I like him now, but I don’t think he’ll forgive me.”
“Both of you need to grow the fuck up. Do you know how many times I want to punch Javi in the face in a week?”
“A hundred.” Carla smiled.
“More like a thousand. Your brother is an asshole. He’s arrogant, and he’s a snob. But he’s my arrogant, snobby asshole. And he believes in me and makes me want to be a better person.”
“That’s really sweet.” Carla drank more of her tea, which was actually starting to make her feel better. Javi was so lucky to have Maya. “Jonah’s not an asshole. He’s actually really sweet.”
“Are you trying to tell me the sex is bad with this one, too?” Carla tingled at the memory of sex with Jonah.
Alana had brought her to Javi and Maya’s condo the night Geoff had dumped her. Carla had gotten very drunk and explained in great detail how bad her sex life with Geoff had been. And that’s when there had actually been a sex life to complain about.
“No, the sex is—incredible. Surprising.”
“Like he-tried-to-put-it-in-your-butt-without-asking surprising or good surprising?”
Carla laughed so hard she snorted tea, which felt so good compared to the gnawing sadness she’d felt since the night before.
“Good surprising. And he always asks.”
“So, the stuff about him on the Internet isn’t true?”
“No, he told me everything. I believe him.”
“Well, you probably should have prepped your dad for meeting him better.”
Regret made Carla’s legs feel restless, so she stood and walked to the window. “You’re right. I’m not used to having to stand up to Daddy. I just knew he’d be so disappointed in me when he found out about the baby, and I wanted him to at least meet Jonah before I told him.”
“All of you care so much about what your parents think.” Maya stood, and poured herself another mimosa, and rigged up the coffee machine to make Carla more tea. “You’re all adults, and you get to decide how to live your lives. Your parents, and stupid, local gossip blogs be damned.”
“I don’t care what they think—I’m already a disappointment.”
Maya guffawed. “Your father was only that pissed last night because you are his perfect, little princess. You are always helping your mom with stupid luncheons, and you almost married a guy you weren’t even into because he worked for your dad.”
“But I’m not as smart as Alana or Javi.”
“You didn’t go to a fancy school, but you’re not stupid. And your brother is an idiot. Huge dick, tiny brain.”
Carla scrunched up her nose. She knew Maya was just calling her brother stupid to make her feel better; her brother was a genius when he applied himself. “If you keep talking about his dick, I might vomit. No joke. I don’t need to know that.”
“But I got you to stop thinking about Jonah, didn’t I?”
The door of the bedroom opened, and Alana came out into the living space with definite sex hair. Carla tried to put on her best supportive-sister face.
“I need coffee before we talk about what happened last night.” Alana wasn’t going to let this go either, and it made Carla feel a little more normal. Even though last night had been fucked up, it felt good to have so much support.
Maya made coffee, and Alana pulled Carla over to the couch. “Tell me.”
“This is supposed to be your day.” She didn’t want to need her sister’s comfort, but she did. So, she laid her head on her sister’s lap.
Alana ran her fingers through Carla’s hair like she had when they were kids. “I’m going to be married at the end of it, so it’s still my day. Tell me.”
“I like him.”
“She more than likes him,” Maya said in a singsong voice before she handed Alana a steaming cup.
Carla wanted to be able to deny it, but she couldn’t. It was crazy and impulsive to fall in love with a guy after spending two nights with him and getting accidentally pregnant with his baby. But she was the impulsive one in the family. Maybe, this one time, her impulses were right. “I totally more than like him.” Alana’s hand stilled.
“What are you going to do about it?” Alana was practical, always wanting a plan.
“Well, I was going to talk to him after the wedding.”
“That won’t work.” Maya sat on the ottoman and shook her head. “He looks like a runner.”
Alana pursed her lips, her customary thinking face. “I’m sure Daddy has looked into a hitman to take him out. Maybe we could convince him to switch it over to kidnapping?” Her sister was clearly joking, but Carla had thought of that.
The door opened. A chill went down Carla’s spine because it was probably her mother. The way her mom had looked at her the night before had chastened her. She hadn’t even tried to call her and explain because she knew that would only cause her mother’s temper to explode.
Her mom stopped short, but there was no indication that she was upset on her placid face. “Oh good, you’re all here.”
Carla stood up and approached her mother, who was near the door. “Listen, I know you’re mad at me, but I’m going to fix it.”
“Yes, you are.” Her mother’s facial expression softened, and she hugged Carla tight. “You care about that man, and you hurt him. You have to fix it.”
“You’re not mad at me for getting pregnant?”
Carla’s mom released her from the hug and grabbed her hand. “Let’s get me a drink.” Carla’s mom led her towards the bar, and Maya tipped her glass in a “cheers” motion.
“I was mad that you didn’t tell me, when both of these girls knew.” She took a long drink. “But I’m getting a grandchild. And you’ll be a great mother.”
Carla’s chest squeezed at her mother’s show of faith, but she highly doubted that she’d be a great mother. She might be able to get herself to kind-of-okay, but great would be a stretch.
“Don’t make that face. We already have enough to do with it to cover up those dark circles.”
“We were just talking about how to fix things with Jonah,” Maya said.
Carla rolled her eyes at Maya; she’d been hoping to avoid pulling her mother into this any further. Jonah probably hated her family enough. If he knew that they were all gunning for he and Carla to get back together, he would run hard and far and fast.
“You didn’t try to fix things last night?” Her mother sounded shocked.
“He put me in my car and went to a hotel.”
“Which one? You need to go talk to him.”
“He doesn’t want to talk to me right now.” The way he’d looked at her last night, she knew he wouldn’t want to see her—maybe not ever.
Her mother sat her in an armchair and started putting foundation on her. It reminded Carla of when her mom had put her makeup on for dance competitions; the familiarity of it was intimate and sweet. “I wouldn’t want to see you after what you said about him last night either, but you have to make him see you.”
“You didn’t get this worked up when Geoff dumped me. You didn’t demand that I try to get him back or anything.”
“That’s because he was wrong for you.” Her mother put the finishing touches on her foundation and then attacked her with cakey concealer. “You have no idea how relieved your father and I were to lose our deposits on that one.”
“Geoff was a douche,” Maya said.
“If People had a ‘Least Sexy Man Alive’ award, Geoff would get it.” Everyone laughed at Alana’s addition.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me this?” Carla wanted to jump up, but she wanted to keep her eyeball makeup brush-free even more. “This would have been useful information.”
“You are the most stubborn of all my children.” Her mother cupped her face. “You seemed determined to marry him.”
“I’m more stubborn than Javi? Really?”
Maya piped in, “You’re all stubborn.”
“I was so upset when Geoff broke things off.” Her eyes filled with tears, and her mother shook her head. “Just use waterproof. This is not going to be a tear-free day.”
“You were only upset because you were embarrassed.” She flushed because her sister knew her too well.
“I was a mess. I didn’t leave my house.”
“Because you cared too much about what other people thought.” Maya was kind of a bitch sometimes, but she was right-on. “It wasn’t about the fact that you actually loved the guy.”
“Well, the whole unwed-mother thing cured me of embarrassment. I’m going to get kicked out of everything.” Carla looked up at the ceiling. She didn’t feel anxious at all, just sad and not wanting to be alone.
“Lola got into town last night,” her mother said.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Maybe her mother was already drunk.
“Didn’t she kind of set the two of you up?”
“Sort of. She left us alone together.”
“Then maybe she’ll help patch things up.” Her mother looked at the makeup palette. “You need a lot more shadow on the eyelids.”