Chapter Thirteen
Barrett
I wake up to the warm scent of Ava's hair filling my senses, and her body pressed right against mine.
I hadn't meant to fall asleep like this, holding her wrapped in my arms. My cock certainly approves, though, pressed right against the soft curve of her ass.
I think back to last night, talking, and then pleasuring her with my mouth.
Hot blood courses through my veins, and fuck, suddenly I have never wanted something more.
How I'm supposed to untangle myself from her when every inch of me is hard and ready?
The fact is, I don't want to. Just because we can't sleep together doesn't mean I can't have another taste of what I want, and watching Ava's face light up in orgasmic bliss is so damn satisfying. Nudging her thigh with my knee, I part her legs just enough for my hand to slide along her thigh. She makes a small murmur of approval in her sleep, and my heart riots in my chest.
Pushing my hand past the waistband of her pajama pants, I find her underwear is still damp from the night before, and that fills me with a hot sort of pride, remembering how she was practically grinding against my tongue for more. She is so damn sexy.
I'd love to have her in my mouth again, but it's early enough that people will start waking up, and there's no darkness to hide us now. My fingers draw slow strokes up and down her panties, adding a bit more pressure until a soft gasp escapes her lips. Sleep-dazed eyes open to meet mine, desire written all over her face when she realizes what I'm doing to her.
“Barrett,” she moans my name low and ragged, the sound hitting me straight in the groin.
Fuuuck.
“We have to keep quiet,” I whisper back, leaning down to seal her lips with a kiss.
I slip under her panties to the slick skin beneath. She's so wet, heat spreading onto my fingers with every touch, and I have to be inside her one way or another. Ava muffles another noise against my lips as my finger thrusts deep, sinking all the way to the knuckle. I can't believe how tight she is around me, and despite the constant temptation, I'm really not sure if she could handle me. I can't stop thinking about her trying, though.
The look of hot determination that I'm sure would be painted across her face, the rosy blush creeping up her neck, the throaty whimpers she'd make as I sank myself all the way into her snug warmth…
Pre-come leaks from my dick, and I have to take a deep breath to calm the fuck down. I feel like a teenager again, out of control and desperate.
Ava's hips jerk forward when I ease in a second finger in beside the first, my thumb circling in a firm, deliberate rhythm. I know we don't have time, I know how much of a risk this is, but when she turns toward me, and grasps my shoulders to keep me close, her lips find mine, and it's impossible to pull away.
“You like sneaking around like this, don't you?” She shivers at my question, and I smile as the next thrust makes her delicate inner muscles squeeze tight around my fingers. “Answer me, Ava.”
“Yes, God, yes.” She's rocking into every movement of my hand now, and every time her thigh brushes against my cock, it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to pin her down and work my shaft inside that tight, clinging heat.
“Do you want to come for me again?” I whisper against her parted lips. It was so good when she gave in against my tongue, and I need to feel that one more time. Then I'll get a handle on myself, I'll just jerk off and put her out of my mind...
“Barrett, fuck.” Ava orgasms around my fingers seconds after her desperate curse, gripping my shoulders almost tight enough to bruise. I stay with her until the aftershocks of pleasure fade, her clit swollen and sensitive when I tease it again.
I'm going to explode in my boxers if I don't get up and do something about my own needs, but still I find I can't get up and leave just yet.
Pulling my hand from her panties, I bring my fingers to my mouth and suck them clean.
Her eyes widen, watching me, and I know instantly it was the wrong move. She's so fucking sexy and she tastes so good—sweet and feminine and completely aroused. Knowing that I was the one who did that to her does something to me. Something primal and animalistic.
“I...I've got to go clean up,” I mutter, throwing off the blankets.
A seductive light spills into Ava's eyes, and both hands leave my shoulders, caressing down my chest and starting to go lower. “I could clean you up.”
The only way I can refuse is by looking straight up at the ceiling, knowing Nick is right up there. I blow out a slow, tortuous exhale. He'd kill me for going this far, much less letting his sister give me a handjob in their den.
“Code still applies,” I add under my breath, and Ava sighs before letting me go. She might think I'm stubborn, but it's critical that at least one of us is trying to keep us safe.
I manage to sneak to the bathroom to wash my hands, but a brief glance in the mirror is enough to prove the tent in my pants isn't going away. Unable to hold back any longer, I push my pants down to mid-thigh and start working myself in quick strokes, one hand braced against the counter. My cock is so hot and stiff in my palm, I know I won't last long.
Each time my eyes fall closed, all I can think of is Ava so mercifully tight around my fingers, and what it would be like if I could really have her. And not just her body, but her, all of her.
A quick orgasm makes another mess of my hands, but at least my cock starts to back down while I wash up one more time. The logical thing to do would be to go back to bed—my bed—and stay away from Ava, but it's crazy how drawn I am to her.
I don't remember the last time a woman made me feel this way. If it was just sex, this would be cut and dry, but it's not. There's her family, there's my entire life hanging in the balance. Ava isn't some one-night hook-up I'm happy to see leave once the deed is done.
Shaking my head, I decide to go down to the kitchen and make some coffee. If I'm going to be awake, I might as well get my day going.
The coffee begins dripping into the carafe when I hear distant footsteps, and I'm bracing myself to see Ava again when Nick walks into the kitchen, yawning and stretching his arms up over his head. It's a damn good thing I didn't call to her by name and say something very inappropriate.
“What are you doing up so early?” I ask, trying to keep my tone casual.
“Slept weird. Decided to give up on trying.” Nick spies the coffee in progress and looks deeply relieved. “You feeling better, man?”
I am, actually, and that's a surprise. “Way better.”
“Must have just been a one-day bug or something,” he declares, leaning against the counter while waiting for the water to filter through.
I nod, and it's the hardest thing in the world not to be honest with him. Nick is my best friend, without question, and if he had come down twenty minutes earlier, he might have seen me with my hand in his sister's panties. I don't know how I'd justify it to him, even if some part of me wants to, knowing how I feel about her.
“You went over to your mom's the other night, right?” Nick asks, snapping me out of that train of thought. “Things still pretty rough?”
“Yeah.” There wasn't any point in lying about it; he's known about the situation with my mom. “It really is a full house.”
I was the oops baby, the teenage pregnancy she was never proud of, and I felt every bit of that growing up. It's one of the reasons I always insisted on a condom. I never wanted to put a child in the situation I grew up in—feeling unwanted and unloved.
He gives my shoulder a friendly smack, his smile wide. “Hey, you're family here and always will be. Don't let that get you down when you've got so many amazing things in your life.”
Nick's right, and because he's right, I can't tell him the truth. After his divorce and everything else, the last thing he needs is finding out Ava and I nearly hooked up. I've just got to man up and get over her.
I'll be gone after the party tomorrow. One more day and we can pretend this never happened.
* * *
“Love is a sham,” Nick says, taking a sip of his beer. “I get now why you're so anti-commitment.”
We're seated at the bar of a local restaurant, where we came to grab some burgers and catch up. Nick's been uncharacteristically quiet about his split from Vanessa, but I have a feeling that's about to change.
“I'm not anti-commitment, for the record,” I say, pushing away my plate, suddenly no longer hungry.
At this, he laughs. “Bullshit. You have a different girl in your bed every weekend.”
That may have been the old Barrett, the horny college kid enjoying his freedom for the first time, but honestly that's not me anymore. It hasn't been for a long time, but it's interesting to know that's how he still sees me. Yes, I like to blow off steam, and yes I love sex, but I'm not a player by any means. It’s more than not having the time at this point. It just doesn't interest me anymore.
I shrug. “I usually work at least eighty hours a week, I just don't have time for a relationship right now, but that doesn't mean I don't want one someday.”
Nick shakes his head, swallowing the last bite of his burger. “Take it from me, man. Avoid that shit like the plague.” He nods to my fries. “Are you going to finish those?”
I shake my head. “Have at it.”
“Thanks.” He grabs a handful and drops them on his plate.
He eats in silence for a few minutes, looking lost in thought.
“You want to talk about what happened?” I ask. I don't want to push him, I just want him to know I'm here in case he does. This is an integral part of the bro code, being there for your best friend when he goes through something tough. Even if it's just to listen and agree with whatever shit went down with the opposite sex. Whether you agree with it or not.
Nick exhales and pushes his plate away. He's silent for a few seconds, his brows pushed together. “She cheated,” he finally says.
“Shit. That sucks. I'm sorry, man,” I say.
He shrugs. “Found out right after the wedding that she slept with her ex-boyfriend right before we got married.”
I press my lips together. Nick had only been dating Vanessa a couple of months when they hopped on a plane to Vegas and got hitched, surprising everyone. It wasn't my place to point out that a spur-of-the moment wedding at a drive-thru chapel may not be the foundation that would result in lasting love. “How are you doing? Really?”
He takes a long sip of his beer. “Better, actually. My plan now is to take a page from your playbook and just enjoy the single life.”
I grit my teeth. I know this image he has of me—the always single, never tied down, never commit, never be seen with the same woman twice persona—is not going to serve me well if I ever do grow a pair and admit how I feel about his sister.
Hello rock, meet hard place.
I take a long drink of my beer, lost in thought, before I realize Nick is still talking.
The word Ava snaps me out of my distraction.
“…you know? I’m glad she's single. I mean, my parents pressure her, but with everything she has going on I think it's for the best. Plus, if someone ever hurt her I'd kill the motherfucker.”
The food in my stomach feel like battery acid, and I shakily nod my agreement. “Absolutely.”