Chapter Thirty-Three

Breathe.”

Blake stood outside Jewell’s door and wondered how long he’d have to wait. He’d knocked three times already and still there wasn’t an answer. He would continue to wait all night if he had to.

Finally, the door opened, and there she was standing before him. He inhaled deeply when he saw the way she looked, and guilt consumed him because he knew that he was the one to blame for those circles beneath her puffy eyes, and the ashen cheeks.

And yet even though she looked as if she’d lost her world, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life. And it was because he had no doubt that she loved him, that she would be his forever. He wouldn’t leave until she knew that he loved her too.

“You think I married you to gain control over you?” he said, deciding it was best to get straight to the point.

“Yes, Blake, and I don’t really even blame you for it. It’s just who you are. You never tried to hide that from me,” she told him. Her voice so flat, so sad, ripped him to his very soul.

“So would you still be with me if you didn’t have to be?”

That made her pause. She looked at him for several heartbeats, all sorts of emotions rushing through her eyes, but the final one to settle in her liquid depths was a deep seated sadness.

“It doesn’t really matter, does it, Blake? Because you’ve always had the control. You’ve always had what you wanted, even if you wanted me for all the wrong reasons.”

How could he have broken this woman so thoroughly? He really had turned into a monster. He didn’t want to let her go. But he knew he had to in order for her to know she had a choice.

Before he could change his mind, before he hauled her into his arms and lost all focus of what he was doing, he pulled out a document from his attorney. She didn’t take it from him; she just looked at him with a trembling lip and glassy eyes.

“I am handing over to you any and all of my legal rights to Justin,” he told her, holding the file in front of her.

She looked confused as she looked from the document to him and then back at the document again. In her confusion, the tears stopped, thankfully, but the deep sadness on her face didn’t in any way disappear.

“I … I don’t understand,” she finally whispered.

“Jewell, I love you. I used to want to possess you. I used to want to own you, and I wasn’t above using blackmail to do it. But that all changed when I fell in love with you. Then I didn’t know how to say the words. I was telling you by showing you instead of using the words, and I guess that was my downfall. But I was mesmerized by you from the first moment our eyes met, and then something changed within me, something happened I never thought possible. The walls I’d built up around my heart when I was a child suddenly began to crack, and one day I realized they were no longer there. You are the reason I wake up in the morning, the reason I can’t wait to come home each evening. You’re my reason for being happy. I love you, Jewell. I love you so much that I can’t imagine living one more moment without you.” Blake wanted desperately to take her in his arms, but he knew he needed to wait.

“But … but our marriage wasn’t real. It was for the business deal, and for Justin,” she said, looking more and more confused.

“The business deal wasn’t real, Jewell. I never had a deal requiring me to be married. I just … I’m not good at expressing my feelings. And I wanted to marry you. At first it was because I wanted you to be mine, because I couldn’t let you get away, but finally I realized it wasn’t about possession. It was because my heart belongs to you. You are my everything. You’ve made me a better man, and I need you to continue to have faith in me so that we can be a family — I mean you, me and Justin. I will do anything to prove that to you.”

When she paused for another long moment, Blake felt doubts begin to creep in. What if she had just had too much? What if his confession was too little too late? He could lose both her and Justin, and he couldn’t even imagine how he would manage to survive that.

But if she needed him to walk away, then for her, he would.

But to his surprise her lips turned up just a little, and he saw hope return to her eyes. And she took one tentative step toward him, and then another, and then she was wrapping her arms around him.

And Blake knew that they would be okay. He hadn’t the foggiest idea how long the two of them stood there with their arms wrapped around each other — what did it matter, after all? — but when she finally pulled back, the love shining from her sparkling eyes was unmistakable.

“You’ve hurt me so badly,” she finally said as she shook against him.

“I know that, Jewell. I also know I have a long way before I can redeem myself in your eyes, but I want you to give me the chance to do that,” he said, his hands gliding up and down her back as she continued to shake in his arms.

“I don’t know how to make this better,” she said.

“Come home with me. Let me prove to you that I do love you – that you’re so much more to me than a possession.”

“But so much has happened …” She stopped speaking as a sob racked through her.

“Do you love me, Jewell?”

He waited for her answer. If he’d been wrong. If she didn’t love him, then nothing else mattered. She took so long to answer, he almost gave up.

“I love you so much,” she said, “that I have spent the last few days wondering how I was going to survive losing you. I told myself that my feelings weren’t real, but I knew that wasn’t the truth. I knew that to live without you would be to leave a piece of my soul behind. I love you, Blake Knight. You have been a complete and utter ass, but you have also rescued me from a life of unhappiness. And somehow in the middle of all of this I fell for you, though I knew I was a fool to do so.”

“Yes, you were a fool to fall for me and for believing in me, but I am so damn grateful you did.” Blake was lost in her arms for several moments before he drew back again and looked at her. “I can’t believe what an idiot I’ve been. Thank you for saving me, and for saving us,” he told her.

“We’ve both been foolish, Blake, but it doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters from this point forward is that we always be honest, and that we continue to love each other through the good and the bad,” she said, and she kissed his jaw in a tender caress.

“I promise you, Jewell, that I’ll do my damnedest from here on out to make you know you are loved, worshipped, and appreciated. I want to make you the happiest woman alive.”

“That’s a start,” she said with a sigh.

“Let’s go home,” he said to his wife.

And that’s just what they did.