Dawn

Voices fluttered in and out, but none of them reached my ears as I lay in a fetal position on the bed. I hardly moved, hardly slept. Every time I closed my eyes, my past bombarded me. It wouldn’t go away. It left me breathless. I had no hope left.

“Dawn, sweetie, please,” I heard Emily beg as she kneeled in front of me. Her eyes were rimmed in red like she’d been crying.

I simply blinked at her, not able to do anything else. My brain was like mush or turned off. It wouldn’t think, wouldn’t let me move.

I don’t know how long she stayed before I felt Elijah pull me to him, hugging me and holding me. He whispered soothing words, calming whatever was going on in my mind. I felt out of control—lost. I wanted to be found and brought out of my head, but it seemed pointless.

I could feel the man on top of me, but I couldn’t see his face as my eyes were swollen shut. I was worried I may suffer some head injury from when Erick had slammed it into the floor just the day before. I had fought him, again, and had to pay the price for doing so.

The man grunted as he sped up. I couldn’t feel him; he was as small as my pinky. I didn’t mind. As least it was an easy chore. It didn’t take much from me as I lay there limply. I just wanted to go to sleep, but Morgan kept coming in and waking me up, or dragging me to another client.

This current guy seemed concerned for me, though. He wasn’t the first, and probably wouldn’t be the last. He was gentler, even though I thought this was the first time he’d come here.

It didn’t take him long to finish and leave me at peace for a moment. I let the darkness consume me, for just a few minutes, before Morgan came and lifted me up. I groaned, not wanting to move as he forced me to my feet once again.

“Let her mind come to terms with things, son,” I heard Vence talk from the doorway. “She won’t eat, so any meds I could possibly prescribe won’t be able to help without food in her system.” His voice was quiet, but I could hear the hint of worry in it.

“Is there anything I can do to help her?” Elijah asked.

“Just be there for her. You will most likely have to force her to eat and drink today. She can’t go on much longer without anything, since she’s still so underweight.”

“Time to wake up, child,” Galvin said happily as he banged the door open.

I groggily opened my eyes, squinting against the light from the hallway. I had been in my cell in complete darkness again as a punishment for not obeying.

“Up you get,” Galvin demanded as he stood above me, looking down at me in disgust. “You have a client waiting.”

Slowly and shakily, I lifted myself up. My arms could hardly support my weight as I pushed myself up. My legs weren’t any better. Once standing, I slowly followed Master Galvin out into the hallway. I wasn’t sure where we were going, as he had never been the one to lead me to my next hellhole. He loved to watch the men take me and other countless girls.

Going down a different hallway, loud rap music reached my ears. It was noisier this way, but just as filthy as any other part of this prison.

“Now, this is a special client, so you’d better not disappoint me. He paid a good penny to spend his time here tonight with just you,” Galvin said, motioning to an open room with a door posted on its hinges. “I expect you to be on your best behavior, understood?”

“Yes Sir,” I answered, keeping my head down.

Once I was in the room, just like all the others, but with a small bowl of condoms on the table, I made my way to the bed, where I was sure I’d have to lie by command.

“Hello, my dear,” said the man in a calm and friendly tone. I kept my head down as I took a seat on the edge of the bed, waiting for instructions.

“Hello, Sir,” I answered politely, my voice just above a whisper.

“Look at me,” he said. I slowly looked up at him. He was familiar, but I wasn’t sure why. Maybe he had rented me before, but his voice didn’t seem like one I had heard here yet. He smiled and took a seat next to me as the door shut, closing us in.

“I won’t hurt you,” he said gently, making sure he wasn’t touching me in any way. His light hazel eyes shone with compassion. He was bigger, filled with muscle and strength. His round face was shadowed in worry, but also a sort of calm. I couldn’t tell what his hair was like, since he wore a beanie down to his ears. His clothes were simple, jeans and shirt.

“I don’t really want anything but your time, and maybe a little information about you,” he continued. “I just want to give you a break from having to do what others want you to do.”

I was confused, and it must have shown on my face. Why would he waste his time, and money, to just spend it with me, talking of all things?

“I have been here before, just keeping an eye on things to make sure no one was killed while they pleased the men,” he said quietly. “I’ve seen you a few times, usually with more bruises than the rest of the girls here—and you’re so much thinner than the rest, too.”

“Oh,” I said. That made sense, I guess.

“How long have you been here?” he asked.

“I’m not sure, Sir,” I answered. I had no idea how long I had been held here. Maybe a year? Two years?

“Hmm,” he said, thinking. “It’s 2013, mid-March.”

“So, about a year and a half then, Sir,” I answered.

“That long?” he said, shocked and leaning back on his hands.

I shrugged, not having anything to say to that. I had no choice in the matter.

“Why are you here, girl?” he asked. “Being so young, you aren’t the type or age Galvin usually brings in.”

“I don’t know, Sir. Morgan brought me here to pay a debt off for my mother,” I simply answered. That was the only answer I ever got when I had the courage to ask.

“Where is your mother, then? Shouldn’t she be the one paying the debt off, not you?” he asked, cocking his head to the side and watching me with his light hazel eyes.

“I don’t know. Somewhere better than here,” I answered.

“So, you aren’t here willingly?” the man asked, looking at me, almost through me, in a way.

I shook my head. “I don’t think anyone is here willingly. Not with what we are forced to endure.”

“I see,” he said. “I’m guessing you don’t know when you’ll be allowed to leave, then?”

“No, Sir,” I answered sadly. I wished I knew. I wished I wasn’t here now. I would gladly even take my father’s place than be here.

“I’ll see what I can do to get you out. I’ll talk to Galvin, but I highly doubt he’d let you go willingly—not yet. He seems to like you,” he said. “Oh, by the way, I’m Kevin.”

He left shortly afterward, claiming I was the best action he’d had in months, with the promise of wanting my services again. I never did see him again after that, but I didn’t think much of it, either. What would be the point? So many men came and went, and I hardly ever remembered names after the deed was done.

The next day, Joslyn came by, and with the help of Elijah, I was made to take a bath. It felt nice to be clean, but I still didn’t want to face reality. I didn’t want to face my nightmares. I wanted to be in between the past and the present—or skip to the future, if it were possible.

After being bathed and dressed in clean clothes, Elijah fed me spoonful after spoonful of soup, in a tender and loving manner. I was sure I looked like a wreck, but he never said anything; never demanded me to come out of the space my brain was in. He could have, and I would have followed his orders.

Time seemed to become a blur once again, the nightmares and what was real crashing into one another. I woke a few times, gasping for breath. Each time, Elijah was there, holding me, talking me down and calming my racing heart. I just wanted it to end.

I briefly thought about how easy it would be to end my life then. Elijah never once left me alone, but I could have used the razor blades in the bathroom, or starved myself to death. It wouldn’t take much. I had nothing to live for, no reason to keep on fighting the darkness that weighed heavily on my shoulders.

Emily was currently sitting in the rocking chair, reading a magazine, making comments here and there, but I mostly tuned her out. I wanted to sleep, but sleep was not coming easily for me, once again. Elijah was up here about an hour before, making sure I ate some food on my own this time. He said it was progress.

Emily had tried to talk to me about therapy, and how it was helping her cope with what she went through, but it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. I had no reason to listen. It wouldn’t help me.

The doorbell rang, and I figured it was Joslyn and Vence again. With a sigh, I closed my eyes, hoping sleep would give me some peace of mind.