Bam
AS WE APPROACHED the stairs leading back to the house, I made sure to fall a few steps behind Lucy. I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to watch her luscious ass as she walked up the stairs. She looked back briefly and busted me admiring God’s handy-work.
“Are you looking at my butt?” she asked, fighting back a smile.
“Looking at your butt? No, baby,” I replied matter-of-factly. “I’m staring at your ass.”
“What? That’s the same thing,” she protested.
“No ma’am. Apparently you’re unaware of the ancient studies of Assery.”
“Assery?” she asked flatly. “Really?”
“Yes, ma’am, a very serious pursuit that I have devoted the better part of my thirty years to, and I’d ask you kindly to show a little more respect to the ancient ways.”
“The ancient ways of Assery?”
“More like a way of life… a spiritual path if you will.”
“It sounds made up…and I know you’re lying because you’re not thirty. Your birthday isn’t for another two months.”
“Whoa, stalker much?”
“Don’t change the subject,” she retorted, as we reached the top of the stairs.
“Please stop interrupting until we conclude our very serious theological discussion.”
“Theological, huh?”
“Well, ass-a-logical.”
“Please continue,” she said.
“While all women possess posteriors, most do not know that these posteriors all fall into one of four categories.
“Really, is this what you think?”
“It’s irrelevant what I think,” I instructed. “This wisdom has been passed down to southern men from the ages. This is law.”
She opened the front door with an exaggerated bow and wave. “Please enter and proceed, oh wise one.”
I walked through the door, took her hand, and kissed it. I wasn’t sure how long the Sullynator needed to recharge his battery pack, but I hoped we wouldn’t see him again tonight. “Now, as I was saying”—I continued—“according to the Laws of Assery the four categories of rear ends are as follows; butts, tushes, asses and rumps.”
“Rumps?” Lucy burst out laughing.
“Yes, rumps, Miss Haddon, but that topic is perhaps a bit too advanced for you. We’ll just focus on the first three for now. Butts are fine, but are sort of the ‘stock factory model’ of rear ends. A nice butt will do in a pinch, no pun intended…”
Lucy smirked and raised an eyebrow. I continued, “Butts are mostly used for practical purposes. Now a nice tush, on the other hand, can be fantastic, but as great as they are can leave an advanced student like myself wanting. An ass however is an amazing thing, a thing of beauty, a thing to behold and to be held.” I closed the distance between us and took her hands in mine. “You, baby, have an ass.”
Lucy’s face flushed as I pulled her in for a kiss, which she quickly broke by playfully hitting my chest. “Hey! Are you saying I have a big butt?”
“No, Lucy, I’m saying you have the most amazing ass I’ve ever seen.” I kissed her again, as my hands made their way to her perfect ass. She moaned as I pulled her closer, my hands right where I wanted them. Lucy squeezed her arms around my waist and my already hardening cock came to full attention. I was losing my mind. I wanted to tear every stitch of her clothing off, I could barely think of anything other than burying myself deep inside of her. Out of all of this, one thought became abundantly clear; I didn’t know if I’d be able to last the weekend without fucking Lucy Haddon.
“Lucy, we have to stop now or I won’t be able to.” I tried to sound commanding, as I gently pushed her away, but even I didn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth.
“Bam, I don’t want to stop.”
“Do you think I want to stop?” I asked. “We have to stop because we agreed that sex was off the table.”
“We can still make out, remember?” she reminded me, sounding a little frustrated.
“Baby, if we keep making out like this, I’m gonna have no choice but to throw you down on that big ol’ cow hide couch over there and do a variety of unspeakable things to you.”
Lucy bit her lip and shifted her weight to one side in a pouty motion. Fuck me, did this woman know how not to be sexy? Here I am trying to do the right thing while the most beautiful woman on the planet is pouting at me. At this point, I was half hoping Sully would leap up from behind the couch with his, undoubtedly pearl-handled 9mm and put me out of my misery.
“How about you pour us a drink, and I’ll get that fire started? We can sit right down on “ol’ Bessie” and continue our conversation from earlier. Where do you store your wood?”
“Oh, there’s a remote control there on that end table. Press the button marked “fireplace” on it.” Lucy motioned to a small white touch pad and headed out of the room.
“Push a button? That’s your idea of me starting a fire? Not very manly.”
“Welcome to the new age, Captain Caveman,” Lucy shouted from the kitchen. “Hey, speaking of stone-aged cartoon characters, what kind name is Bam Bam for a grown man? Wasn’t that the Flintstone’s baby?”
“Actually, Pebbles was the offspring of Fred and Wilma Flintstone and Bam Bam was the adopted son of their neighbors, the Rubbles.”
“Well, I stand corrected.”
“And so you should. However, I didn’t get my nickname from the cartoon. My mom started calling me Bam Bam when I was five years old.”
Lucy sat down next to me on the couch and set two glasses of red wine in front of us. “Is this okay?”
“I’m not much of a wine guy. Not much experience with it, actually, but I’ll happily drink gasoline as long as you are here with me.”
“No more smooth talk, Mr. Nelson,” she warned, and sipped her wine. “Why Bam Bam?”
“Well, I used to take out all the pots and pans from the lower cupboard and beat on ’em with wooden spoons. I’d pretty much beat on anything remotely drum shaped. One day, I moved the day’s drum solo over to her new coffee table and dented the shit out of it. We didn’t have many nice things, and my old man had just bought a new living room set for my mom, most likely out of guilt from his latest affair. He saw what I’d done and was ready to beat the shit out of me for it, but my mom stepped in. She just grabbed me and laughed it off in order to cool him down. She said she liked it better this way, because I had turned an ordinary coffee table into art through my music. That’s the way my mother saw things. She said it was “obvious that little ‘Bam Bam’ here was a drummer,” and when the time came a few years later, she helped me buy my first drum kit.”
“It sounds like your mother loved you very much,” Lucy said, obviously fighting back tears.
“Anyway, from that day forward, she called me, Bam Bam. Pretty soon that’s what everyone called me.”
“Even your father?”
“My father? No way. He barely spoke to me and when he did he’d just call me ‘hey you’ or ‘dickhead.’” Lucy dropped her head in an obvious attempt to hide her discomfort. “Hey it’s okay,” I said lifting her chin. “Where I come from, everyone’s daddy is an alcoholic asshole, it doesn’t make me special or anything.” I tried to lighten the mood. I couldn’t stand to see Lucy upset, and the fact that my father was somehow causing her pain made me hate him even more.
“He sounds like a monster. I can’t imagine having that kind of relationship with my father.”
“I didn’t have any relationship with him.” I chuckled.
Lucy didn’t.
“I’m really sorry you didn’t have a good relationship with your Dad, Bam. Even when things were at their worst in my family, all we wanted to do was be whole again—to be together. Dad’s worked so hard to overcome his demons and regain our trust. Now that we’ve gone through what we have, and come out the other side even stronger, I can’t imagine not having my father in my life. I can’t imagine us being apart.”
“I like that you have that,” I said. “Right now, though, I can’t imagine being away from you… being away from this place. You fascinate me.”
“What could possibly be fascinating about me? You’re the freaking rock star,” she protested.
“You’re a badass, baby. For you to go through the kind of hell you did as a kid and accept your father back with open arms is amazing. You don’t seem to carry around baggage or hold the past over his head. You’re genuinely kind, but you don’t take shit from anyone either. You seem kind of perfect actually.”
“Believe me when I tell you that I’m far from perfect, Bam Bam Nelson.” She sat up straight and set her wine glass down. “Case in point, what the hell am I doing here with you? I’m clearly horrible at my job. I’m supposed to be here as a vacation from work and to recharge before starting the next phase of work for the tour and here I am drinking and canoodling with the damned drummer of the opening band!”
“Canoodling? So we’ve finally defined what it is we’re doing here?” I asked grinning.
“Stop being charming, Bam, I’m serious.”
“I can tell. You have your serious face on; it’s your most adorable one.” I kissed her quickly.
“I can’t just let you keep charming me with your words and good looks, Bam.” She sighed. “I don’t want to screw this job up and I don’t want to get hurt. I honestly don’t know why I asked you here.” Biting her lip, she rasped, “What am I’m doing? I’ve just met you and I’m letting you kiss me, call me baby, and grab my ass. You’re probably used to women acting like this around you all the time, but this is not me. This isn’t how I normally act.”
I sat up and took her hands in mine. “I’m here to get to know you and to spend some time with you alone… that’s all I want. I don’t know why you’re here, but I’m here for you. I don’t want some groupie to fuck, and I’m not looking to fill anyone’s rock star fantasies. I’m here for you.”
I leaned in for another kiss, gently biting her bottom lip. Lucy shuddered and moaned as she stroked my neck. I deepened the kiss, but she surprised me by pushing me onto my back and straddling me on the oversized sofa. We continued to kiss as my hands began to explore her body. I cupped her full breasts, still fully hidden behind her sweater, and felt her nipples tighten.
She groaned and sat up, gently arching her back, my hands still firmly on her breasts—her hands now on top of mine—and rocked her denim-clad pussy against my denim-clad (and extremely hard) cock. Licking her lips, she turned her head slowly to the side and then let out a shriek.
“Sully!”
* * *
Lucy
I flopped onto Bam’s chest and scrambled off the sofa as he sat up slowly and faced Sully.
“What are you doing here?” I snapped.
“I knocked, Miss Haddon. You didn’t answer. The door was unlocked, so I decided I should make sure no funny business was going on.” Sully crossed his arms and glared at Bam. “It would appear I arrived just in time.”
My face burned with embarrassment, but I squared my shoulders. “Sully, none of this is your business. You’re supposed to be here in case I need you. You’re not my father.”
His head turned toward me and I didn’t miss the expression of hurt on his face.
“What I mean is that I’m an adult,” I corrected.
“I’m aware of what you meant, Miss Haddon.” He turned his back. “I wanted to let you know there’s a storm coming in, so please make sure you lock everything up tight and stay away from the windows.”
“Okay, Sully, thank you.” I glanced at Bam who gave me a bolstering smile. “Would you like to stay here?”
“No, Miss Haddon, I’m fine where I am. Call me if you need me.” He walked out the door without a backward glance and I flopped down next to Bam again.
“I’m such a bitch.”
Bam wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. “You’re not a bitch, baby.”
“Sully’s my favorite person in the world. I shouldn’t have spoken to him like that.”
“You were caught off-guard. I’m sure he understands.”
“I should apologize.” I tried to stand, but Bam kept me next to him.
“You can apologize tomorrow. Do you hear the wind?”
I did, unfortunately, which would keep me locked in the house for a while. “I’ll lock up.”
“I’ll help you.”
I nodded and led him around the house making sure everything was secure.