When Hanson finally woke up, it was eleven in the morning, and it took him a few seconds to realize where he was. Right, he was in a hotel. Because he’d fought with his wife. Because she hadn’t told him that she didn’t feel the same about the most important thing to him.

He sighed, lying back on the pillows. Why had Lacey felt she couldn’t talk to him about not wanting another baby? Wasn’t it something she should have considered, at least? The fact that she didn’t tell him hurt almost as much as that she didn’t know whether she wanted another child.

He should have seen it coming, though. In the back of his mind, he’d always known that she felt differently about having children. The only reason they had Liam at all was because Lacey had fallen pregnant by accident. It hadn’t been planned. Lacey had always been an independent career woman, someone that had been content with the idea of a life alone.

She hadn’t even wanted to date when he’d met her, for God’s sake. How did he know she was really that fucking into him? He hated feeling unsure like this.

Hanson was thrilled that she’d decided to keep the baby and stay with him, of course, but he should have known something like this was coming. Something to rock his boat just when he thought everything was smooth sailing.

It was just that she seemed so happy now. She may not have wanted a child, but motherhood came so easily to her that Hanson had thought that she’d changed her mind about wanting children. He hadn’t once considered that if she’d changed her mind about having one child, she wouldn’t have changed her mind about more.

Sure, she’d seemed rather down sometimes. He’d told her to mention it to the doctor and she’d reported that it was just normal baby blues. But maybe it was something more, something he should have known to get her further help with.

His phone vibrated on the nightstand, and his stomach tightened. Lacey would try to call him– he knew it. For him to have spent the night somewhere else, not just the spare room, was a big deal. It would have told her how serious this was to him.

When he lifted the phone, it was indeed Lacey’s name flashing on the caller ID. He considered ignoring the call, letting it roll over to voicemail. What was he going to say to her? But he couldn’t avoid her. She was his wife, after all.

He took a deep breath and pressed the phone against his ear.

“Hello,” he said softly.

“Hanson,” she said, and her voice was thick. She’d been crying. He could tell.

A pang of guilt shot through his chest. He didn’t like making her cry or seeing her unhappy. But this was bigger than keeping her happy. It was about keeping him happy, too, and right now, he just didn’t know how to meet her halfway on this. You couldn’t meet halfway with a baby– either you had one or you didn’t.

“Did you sleep okay?” she asked, and he was relieved she’d taken the reins. He didn’t want to ask her if she was okay because it was clear she wasn’t.

“I was up most of the night,” she said. Crying, he added for himself.

“Yeah,” Hanson replied. “Me too.” He’d been rolling around for most of the night, unable to sleep without Lacey next to him but unwilling to buckle on this.

“Where are you?” Lacey asked.

God, he hated hearing her like this, her voice so husky, not because she was turned on or because they’d spent the night exploring each other’s bodies, but because she’d been crying. Because he’d left her for the night.

“I’m at a hotel, baby,” he said. “I just needed a bit of space.”

“Are you… are you coming home soon?” she asked.

He thought about it for a moment. He wanted to run back to her, to wipe away her tears, to hold her, and make it all better. It was so seldom that she needed him, it made him want to jump at the opportunity. But this was important to him. This was bigger than having his ego stroked, and it was bigger than her emotional pain.

“I don’t know, babe,” he said. “I still need some time to think about it.”

She was quiet for long enough that he knew she was biting back tears. God, why was this so damn hard? He felt like such an ass for making her cry, but this wasn’t just his fault. In fact, this wasn’t his fault at all.

“Are you coming back at all?” she asked in a small voice.

Hanson let out a long breath. “I’m not leaving you, Lace. You and Liam are my world. You know that. I just need time to think.”

“Away from me?” He could hear the tremble in her voice.

“I just need time to think. This was out of the blue. This is about the rest of our lives together. I can’t just pretend everything is fine.”

She took a deep, shaky breath, and he could imagine her nodding. He knew her mannerisms, her attitude, and her facial expressions so well. This was what it was to be married, he thought. For better or worse. Well, this was one of the situations where things were worse.

“I’ll call you,” Hanson said. “I’ll check in with you. You haven’t lost me.”

“Okay,” she said, but he didn’t get the idea she was convinced that it was the case.

He wasn’t going to do more to reassure her. His word should be enough. Communication would have to go both ways, and so far, he was the only one communicating.

Lacey didn’t say anything else. She hung up the phone.

She wanted to cry. Her hand was still on the phone, a lump in her throat, and she bit her lip hard enough that the pain distracted her from the emotional turmoil inside her. This had gotten out of hand so quickly, and she had no idea how to handle it.

One moment, she’d been terrified of being pregnant– her period had been late– and the next, Hanson was staying at a hotel. She didn’t know how it had gone from one thing to the next.

Her period had still not arrived the next morning, and she was terrified that she might be pregnant. She was scared that she wouldn’t want this baby if she was pregnant, and then she would feel like a horrible mother. But right now that fear was overshadowed by the bigger fear of potentially losing her husband.

Lacey didn’t even know how long it would take him to come back to her. Part of her was terrified that he wouldn’t come back at all. Hanson had told her he would be with her through it all when she’d fallen pregnant unexpectedly. She knew he was serious about children and family and sometimes– even though she knew it was silly– she wondered if the only reason he stayed with her was because of Liam, because he was so serious about being a dad.

Of course, whenever she thought that, she shrugged it off. Hanson had created a life with her, and it had been exactly what she’d expected of a loving husband.

But now? As soon as he’d found out that she didn’t want another child, he’d left. Did that mean that it really was what it had been about for him all along?

Lacey tried desperately to push it all away, to shrug it off like she’d done so many times, but it was harder now. He wasn’t here. He didn’t want to see her. He needed space from his wife to think. What was he going to think about? Leaving her? Finding a better life?

The pain that came with the thoughts were so intense Lacey couldn’t breathe.

Lacey had spent the whole night crying. She knew she needed to make things right with Hanson. But she was scared of having another child. How the hell was she going to figure this out? She was just scared about everything. About losing Hanson, about having post partum depression again, about not being a good enough mother for Liam or the new baby if there was to be one.

The phone rang in her hand, ripping her out of her dark spiral of thoughts, and Lacey jumped. She glanced at the screen, hoping to God it was Hanson. She wanted to hear his voice again, wanted to hear him tell her he didn’t want to be apart from her. That they could figure it out, and he was coming home.

It wasn’t Hanson’s name on the caller ID. Instead, it was Lauren.

Lauren was Lacey’s good friend Sadie’s assistant cheerleading coach, but since Brian and Sadie had gotten married, the six of them– the three players Liam, Hanson, and Brian, and their respective wives, all spent time together. Lauren was the seventh person to their group, and they had all gotten very close.

“You have no idea how much your call is a godsend right now,” Lacey said into the phone when she answered.

“Were you absolutely dying to tell me you’re coming the party on Saturday?” Lauren asked, and Lacey could hear her friend smiling.

Lacey hadn’t even thought about Saturday’s party.

“No,” Lacey said. “Hanson left me.”

“What?!” Lauren cried out.

Lacey sighed, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. “Not for good,” she said, and she heard Lauren sigh in relief. “But it feels like it.”

“Well, I didn’t think he would leave you for good. I know he came across as a bad boy at first but he sure settled down into a loving husband pretty much as soon as he met you. But, I’m sorry you’re fighting. Do you want to tell me what happened?” Lauren asked.

Lacey sighed. “I don’t know that I want more kids. He wants another baby, and we’ve been trying. So, I should have told him about my hesitation earlier. I just kept hoping that I’d feel right about things, that I would be able to make an affirmative decision and not have to tell him I’m unsure. But I can’t do it, Lauren. I just… I can’t.” She took a deep breath and let it out, slowly.

“Why did he leave?” Lauren asked carefully.

“He said he needs time to think. He didn’t know I didn’t want another baby.”

“You didn’t tell him anything at all?”

Lacey knew she’d been wrong not to communicate how she felt. She should have told Hanson a long time ago that she didn’t know if she could deal with another baby. But she’d been nervous to say anything.

“I was scared that he would feel like he was roped into a life with someone he wouldn’t have been with, had the circumstances been different. I was scared that he would feel that having Liam trapped him, and if he knew what I wanted, he wouldn’t be happy with me anymore.”

It was the first time Lacey had put it into words, but she realized that it was exactly what she’d been worried about. She’d been terrified that Hanson would see it as a reason to leave her, that he would think being with her was a mistake.

“Honey, I don’t doubt for a second that Hanson would do anything to stay with you,” Lauren said. “He loves you.”

“Anything?” Lacey asked.

“Yes,” she said. “You should have spoken to him. Let him have his space. Let him come to you and speak about it. Talk to him about what you feel, even this. The biggest problems in relationships start because of a lack of communication.”

Lacey nodded, cradling the phone against her cheek. “You’re right,” she said. “You think he’ll come back?”

“I know he’ll come back,” Lauren said. “But men need their space sometimes, and if he’s asking for it, I think you should let him have it.”

“Okay,” Lacey said. It was so good having friends that she could rely on. Lauren was a great friend, even though they hadn’t been close for very long.

“If he understands your fears, he’ll know what to say to you to reassure you, and you’ll be able to work through this together,” Lauren added.

“You’re right,” Lacey said. “Thank you. Thank you for listening to me vent. I’m sure it’s not what you had in mind when you called me.”

“What are friends for?” Lauren asked, and Lacey could hear her smile. “But I still want to know if you’ll come to Saturday’s thing.”

“I will,” Lacey said and stopped herself. “No, we will. Thank you.”