CHAPTER 25
LIAM

I stood there while the frigid air swirled around us. I could feel Whitney already shaking, so I pulled her body closer toward mine. We stood on the porch, surrounded by snow and ice as the both of us stayed silent. I wanted to talk to her so badly about it. I wanted to open up about everything and tell her. She was slowly captivating every single part of me. My body. My mind. My heart. This woman was full of surprises and she took everything that was thrown at her in her stride. She never once backed down from any situation that would even remotely scare anyone else and she always seemed to have a smile to offer.

“A couple of deployments were rough,” I said. “One in particular.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

I fell silent at her question and I could hear her sigh against my skin.

“For whatever happened, I’m so sorry, Liam.”

“It is what it is,” I said.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re very brave. And strong. And incredibly resilient. For someone who willingly keeps themselves cooped up and deals with nightmares like you do sometimes, you seem to be handling being around people pretty well.”

I honestly wasn’t sure what to say to that. On the one hand, she was right. I was doing a little better being in a crowd of people than I thought I would. But on the other hand, I was in that crowd with her. I hadn’t suffered one single nightmare since the first night we’d shared, losing ourselves within one another. It was like her light and her innocence cleansed a small part of me, so I knew part of the reason was her. I didn’t know if I could tell her that because I really wasn’t sure how she’d react but I knew the moment this was all over, things would go back to the way they were.

The problem was, it would be harder to cope with now.

When everything happened, the nightmares were almost instant. I got home and immediately had troubles adjusting. I wasn’t sleeping well. All I was really doing was cat-napping. Crowds of people made me sweat. Training guns and booms off in the distance pulled me from the few deep sleeps I did manage. I’d yell myself awake and drench my sheets in sweat. I struggled to get back into a routine that didn’t involve me having to pull over on the side of the road and take deep breaths. Every time someone honked their horn at me, it would throw me into a frenzy.

My commanding officer forced me to take time off, which only made it worse.

Two months of sitting around and doing nothing but drinking and thinking about it didn’t help. It got to a point where I didn’t feel normal if I didn’t wake up with a drink. I’d wake up and drink beer like it was coffee. Then I’d have to drink a beer before I went to bed. It became a comfort for me. Not the drunkenness, but the euphoria that took over once the buzz set in. It cleared my mind and stopped its racing. My limbs got looser and my joints didn’t ache as much. Far away sounds didn’t seem to startle me as much when I was listening through a haze of alcohol and it made things easier.

It was the hardest habit I had to break once those two months of mandatory vacation were up.

Whitney was quickly growing to be that same type of addiction. She felt natural and necessary. Waking up with her and going to sleep with her was quickly becoming a routine I enjoyed. My mind slowed down when I was with her and my nightmares stayed at bay whenever she was around. Her touch brought me to life and made me feel like the man I had been before that disgusting fucking deployment. She grounded me in a way I hadn’t felt since before the first time I’d seen a soldier die in my arms.

And I wasn’t sure if I was willing to let that go just yet.

“That means a lot, coming from you,” I said. “Thank you.”

“Do you struggle with your nightmares often?” she asked.

“I used to,” I said. “It seems to be getting a little better, though.”

“What do you think is making them better?”

I looked down at her so I could take in the way her eyes were studying me. She was looking for something. Maybe a confession. It was as if she were readying herself for the truth. Preparing herself to weather whatever it was I had to tell her. Her eyes looked so solemn and her jaw was set with determination.

She was unlike any person I’d ever come across and I found myself lost in the sea of her eyes.

A brisk wind kicked up and, instinctively, I stepped in front of her. I wrapped my arms around her and shielded her from the cold as it beat down on my back. She curled into me, her hands grasping the fabric of my shirt as I cloaked her back with my arms.

She melted into me like butter on a flame and I placed a small kiss on the top of her head while the wind slowly died down.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before,” I said.

I watched Whitney crane her neck back before her eyes danced around my face.

“You are the most confusing, intoxicating, unique woman I’ve ever met,” I said.

“You’re unlike any person I’ve ever met, either, Liam,” she said.

“I’m not sure I want this time to end.”

Raising my finger, I brushed a small strand of hair away from her face. I cupped her cheek with my hand and she nuzzled into my palm. Was it possible she felt the same way? I’d only known this woman for four or five days. Was it possible for me to feel this strongly for someone who was still practically a stranger?

She turned her face into the palm of my hand and kissed it. I smiled down at her before she closed her eyes, relishing how my thumb traced bare areas of her skin. The wind started to kick up again, blowing around powdery snow and shaking the form of this beautiful woman in my arms.

So, I guided us back into the lobby and out of the cold.

Whitney took my hand and led us over to the roaring fireplace. We sat down on a couch right next to it before she slid my jacket off her shoulders. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I watched every single movement she made.

I was big and stout. Muscular and broad. I lumbered along when I walked and I was always knocking up against something when I moved. But the grace her body possessed had me mesmerized. She was like a figure skater, twirling around effortlessly on the ice with every movement she took. She spread my jacket across her legs before she leaned into me and I automatically wrapped my arm around her bare shoulders and pulled her close.

“What did you think of dinner?” she asked.

“I think the food was really good and the company was even better.”

“Oh, come on,” she said. “What did you really think of it?”

“Fine. You want the truth? I’ll give it to you.”

I watched her eyes flutter up to mine before I looked down at her sweet little face.

“The food was better than anything I’ve ever eaten and the company was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

She giggled and shook her head before she laid her body against my chest.

“You talk more than the first time I met you,” she said.

“You’re worth talking to,” I said.

“And you’re such a charmer. I bet you were a ladies’ man in the military.”

“I held my own all right, I guess. Didn’t really have a lot of time to get to know anyone with all the certifications I had to get before I could become a General Medical Officer.”

“How much training did you have to go through?” she asked.

“I had to get a four-year medical education while I was an ensign and agree to serve at least seven years in the Navy as a medical officer once I received that education. I had to maintain military standards of hygiene and physical fitness throughout the four years and, when I graduated, I was promoted to the rank of a lieutenant.”

“Wow,” she said. “Did you have to do any sort of internship?”

“Yep. After graduation and receiving that rank, all medical students reported to the Naval Hospital as active duty medical interns. That lasted a year, which was one of the seven I had to serve to have my education covered. Then I was fit to be deployed as a General Medical Officer.”

“How does that translate out here?” she asked. “I mean, could you open your own practice or something in this non-military world?”

“We call it the civilian world,” I said.

“Okay, the civilian world,” she said. “Could you just… open your own practice?”

“There’d be a few things I’d have to get in order but it wouldn’t take me more than a year and a half to do so.”

“Have you ever thought about it?” she asked.

“About what?” I asked.

“Starting your own practice?”

I felt Whitney rise up from my chest before she looked me straight in the eyes.

“You were natural with me and I saw the way you lit up talking about it earlier today. You have a passion for it. The military didn’t take that from you.”

“I never said they did,” I said.

“Then why are you so hesitant to chase after your dreams?”

“Who said I was?” I asked.

“The look you’re giving me right now,” she said.

I sat there and looked at her as she rose to her feet. She was standing in front of me with my suit coat in her hand and her eyes were determined. This wasn’t a track I was going to derail her from easily and I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to. She had a point, I couldn’t deny that. I did enjoy taking care of her. I did enjoy looking after her. I did enjoy treating her as if she was my patient. That was how it was supposed to be. That was how the military was supposed to pan out. I was supposed to take care of people and they were supposed to be grateful for it. I was supposed to help, not harm. Save, not kill.

Support, not defect.

I rose to my feet and towered over her body. Even though I easily had seven inches on her, she never once seemed afraid of me. I enjoyed that about her. I enjoyed the fact that I didn’t intimidate her. I’d done that with so many people during the last couple of years of my military days. People walked around constantly scared of what I would do or how I would act or what would happen if they made one wrong move.

She treated me as if I was normal. As if nothing was wrong with me.

“I’m ready to go back,” I said. “How about you?”

I saw a flash of defeat roll across her face before she nodded.

I took her hand in mine and we slowly made our way back toward the restaurant. The pace was unrushed, and despite the disappointment I could feel radiating from her body, Whitney didn’t seem to pull away from me. We walked through the restaurant and I immediately wrapped my coat back around her body, but something caught my eye the moment we stepped outside.

A worker was coming out of a closet door that sat on the outside of the building.

A pleasurably luscious thought crossed my mind as I tugged Whitney off to the side. I could feel her body tensing with confusion as I led us toward the door. The door that hadn’t quite closed when I saw that person leave.

“Liam, where are we going?” she asked.

But all I did was look both ways before I pulled her into the closet.

“Liam, what in the—”

I pressed my lips to hers, cupping her cheeks before I pushed her back against the metal shelving of the closet. The door behind us scraped closed, thudding behind my back before darkness descended upon us. I reached up and found the string for the light, pulling it and watching the bulb illuminate Whitney’s eyes.

I smoothed the loose tendrils of her hair from her forehead before she slowly sank to her knees.

“Whitney, what are you—”

“Shut up,” she said.

I braced myself against the shelves while she worked my pants down my legs, and as her lips wrapped around my hardening cock, there were only two words that sprang to my mind.

“Yes, ma’am.”