“I need to tell you something, Rhett,” Maddie said, putting her hand over his heart.

Those words never boded well in connection with any woman Rhett Hawkins had ever met. They were even more ominous coming from a woman he’d been dating nearly five years. With a sigh, he opened his eyes and pulled her closer.

“What’s that, baby?” Hawk asked, not really wanting to know.

He just wanted to recover quickly so he could have her one more time before he had to give her back to the Army, and he had to fly back to Texas. This long distance relationship thing was exhausting, and something needed to change soon. If Deep Six didn’t use a helo maintenance firm in Mesa, even squeezing in this time with her might not be possible.

“I was accepted into the Nightstalkers. I leave tomorrow for three months training in Kentucky, then I’m being deployed to El Salvador on a JCET mission.”

Every muscle in Hawk’s body went rigid with fear. “I thought we talked about this and you were going to stay here?”

“I have to do this,” she mumbled against his chest, as she traced circles there with her finger. “My father went to a lot of trouble to get me the interview and pulled strings so I’d be accepted. This ‘women in spec-ops’ thing is so new.”

Hawk growled and rolled to his side to push her back and pin her with his eyes. “There’s a reason for that, baby—it’s fucking dangerous.”

“You did it and I’m just as good a pilot as you. I’ll be fine,” she replied, sliding her eyes away. “You got in a year out of flight school because you’re a man. I finally have my chance now and you should be happy for me.”

The three years he’d served as a Nightstalker equated to at least ten years doing troop transport, or even flying assault. It was fun, exciting and rewarding most of the time, a huge ego boost, but the missions were that grueling, intense and dangerous. That’s why he knew Maddie Carter wasn’t suited to them.

“If I thought this was what you really wanted, I would be happy,” Hawk said, trying to keep his voice even, which was extremely difficult. “But I know this is just another attempt to compete with your brother.”

Max Carter—Mr. Incredible—Mr. West Point Prodigy, Mr. Green Beret and now Delta with more medals than Patton. Owner of all her father’s love.

Maddie needed to realize she would never be the soldier he was—because the Army would never let her. She only had this opportunity to get into spec ops because of a military mandate deadline and her father’s intervention.

She might be as good a pilot as Hawk was now, but Captain Maddie Carter definitely hadn’t graduated at the top of their flight class. If he hadn’t tutored her, she would probably be still sitting in that class.

Although Maddie was extremely intelligent, math was not her strong suit, and a competent pilot needed that skill in spades. Especially one who was a special operator, a Nightstalker, who had to make fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants decisions under extreme conditions.

“It is what I want, Hawk. I’ve worked hard for this and deserve the chance,” she said.

“The chance to fly into hell and get yourself killed?” Hawk asked with a snort as he rolled onto his back away from her.

She was thirty-two years old, at a point in her life where she should be thinking of leaving the military and settling down, not flying combat missions. He knew that was exactly what she’d be doing in Central America too, even though they’d be disguised as humanitarian and peacekeeping missions. The drug cartels had taken over there. They ruled those countries now, and the United States was determined to correct that.

Was he being selfish? Hell yes, he was, because her solo decision affected him, too. Did she not give a flying fuck about them?

“What about us?” he asked, pinning her with his eyes.

He actually had a ring picked out to ask her to marry him to end this madness. The jeweler was sizing it right now and he planned to ask her the next time they were together.

She scooted closer and put her hand on his face. Her eyes filled and her lower lip trembled. “I love you, Rhett, but I need to do this.”

“Well, I need you here,” Hawk growled, shoving his hand into her hair to pull her to him and kiss her with the desperation he was feeling.

Hawk pushed her onto her back to kiss her harder and she moaned. He slid his hand over her silky curves and kissed her deeper as his cock settled between her legs where it belonged. Her wet heat welcomed him, her mewls encouraged him as he pulled her thigh up to his side and thrust his hips forward, hissing when his head entered her hot, slick passage.

“Mmm…” she moaned as he thrust again and her body stretched to take more of him inside. She wiggled her hips to urge him to move, clawed at his shoulders and whimpered for more.

Hawk dragged his mouth away to draw in ragged breaths. His heart pounded against hers, shattering with each beat at the thought of never seeing her beautiful face again, of never holding her or being with her again. She needed to know she had options.

“I love you, Maddie Carter. I’ve loved you since the first time we met,” Hawk said, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. It was now or never. “Unconditionally. You don’t have to work for my love, because I love you just the way you are.” A shuddering sigh escaped him. Unlike your family’s love. “I planned to do this the romantic way next weekend, but you just threw a wrench into my plans…you do that a lot.”

Her body tightened around him as a low-pitched moan escaped her lips and her index finger flew up to cover his mouth. “No, don’t, please—” she begged, her voice barely there.

Hawk knew from the terrified look on her face he was about to be shot down, but he had to finish this. “I want you to forget about this madness, baby—stay here and marry me. I promise I will do everything I can to make you happy. You could move to Texas and we’ll buy a house.”

“I can’t,” she said, tears spilling out of the corners of her eyes.

Hawk looked into her eyes, memorized her face and a shuddering sigh escaped him.

“Then I guess this is goodbye, Maddie Carter.” His own eyes burned fiercely as he kissed her, slid out of her body and pushed up to his knees. “Fly safe, baby. It’s been nice knowing you.”

* * *

Fog rose from the floor of the jungle to hover just above the thick trees. Maddie’s skids skimmed through that fog as she flew nap-of-the-earth to avoid detection of the MH-6M Little Bird by the radars she was told the local cartels possessed. She had been assigned the Little Bird because of its speed and stealth. Since it was the aircraft she’d trained with most often in flight school, she knew it like the back of her hand.

The only problem with that was the smaller aircraft could only carry five people. Four were the operators she was inserting and herself. Between the bulky men and their gear, she was at weight capacity.

That meant she didn’t have a crew chief or second pilot on board to help her with navigation. She didn’t have a gunner either, since the bird was set up for assault mode. All-in-all, Maddie felt pretty damned vulnerable on this mission, but was determined to complete it, because the men at the base, other than the commander, expected her to fail.

Thank goodness the denser air and lack of wind put her in a good power margin range, so she didn’t have to worry about calculating that. Fuel would be a problem on the way out, but an air refuel would happen once she crossed the border back into El Salvador.

If the dew point rose even one degree, though, visibility would drop, the fog would rise and she would have no choice but to abort. Maddie was determined that wasn’t going to happen, even if she had to fly blind. Thank goodness this was the bird she had the most training hours on, so she could fly it blindfolded.

As one of the FNGs on base and one of the few female Nightstalkers with the 160^th SOAR, Maddie had a lot to prove. Earning the respect of her team members and command would not be easy, because the Army had just approved female pilots to join their elite ranks. Aborting this mission because of fog, flying these operators she was tasked with inserting back to base instead of completing the mission would not accomplish that for sure.

Then there was her father, the General, who she’d have to answer to if she failed on her first real mission. He wouldn’t let her forget he’d pulled strings for a year to get her this chance, either. If she failed, answering to him would be worse than death.

A screech knifed through Maddie’s brain and made her teeth hurt. She tensed, reached for the knob to adjust the radio, but stopped when a conversation in rapid-fire Spanish came through her headset over her clear, protected channel. Realizing their communications channel had been compromised, she reached to switch to the backup channel, but before she could, the cockpit filled with blinding light.

An intense laser-beam scorched through the lens of her left goggle and burned her retina. She turned her head and it streaked through her right eye too. She had no visual when she tried to focus her eyes to find an LZ below in the breaks in the fog. Shielding her eyes with her forearm, she looked again, but all she saw was bright white spots.

The stick jerked in her hand as limbs brushed the fuselage. She fought for control to keep it steady while trying to remove her night vision goggles, but they were stuck to her helmet. She unsnapped her chinstrap and tried to remove the helmet and the helo dipped hard. The men on board cursed loudly. Branches snapped, the stick jerked out of her hand as the skids plowed through the treetops, and Maddie knew they were going down.

“Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!” Maddie shouted into her mic, dragging in breaths. “Charlie November Omega Two Three. We’re going down twenty mikes—” She stopped.

This was a dirty channel and whoever was behind the attack would have their location if she announced it. The CSAR team would just have to find them, she thought, closing the com.

Why had she let competing with her brother for their father’s love and respect become so important to her? Important enough for her to cut the only man who’d ever offered her unconditional love out of her life. For this. To be here.

Maddie felt around the console to turn off the engine, hoping to minimize the chance of the aircraft exploding on impact wherever they landed. She braced, closed her eyes and hugged her stomach. The sound of twisting metal deafened her. In slow motion, insane g-forces pulled at her body, tossed her around in the cockpit and her brain felt like it ping-ponged inside her skull.

The windshield shattered and her body felt numb as total blackness engulfed her, beautiful light surrounded her and the only peace she’d ever had in her life washed through her soul.

I’m so sorry, Hawk.