For a moment, Cameron had been worried he’d completely ruined things with Audrey, that she’d shrink in horror after learning about his darkest secret. But she’d taken it in stride, surprising him again by her resilience and acceptance. He was sure he’d seen disappointment in her eyes when he’d finally told her the sordid truth, but she’d masked it well. Then she’d gone on by trying to imply the whole thing hadn’t been his fault. Like he was supposed to believe that. That he’d been blameless for ruining Drew’s life. Yeah, Drew might be an ass—that dated back to high school. But Cameron wasn’t a heartless shit. No man deserved to have a cheating, deceptive wife. Cameron knew firsthand what that did to a family, and he hadn’t wished that on Drew.
Unfortunately, he’d inadvertently played a part, and he’d carried the guilt, buried underneath his contempt for the man. And yeah, it was why he kept his relationships strictly casual. Despite the fact that his fling with Drew’s wife had been casual, he’d started to develop feelings for Lauren, only to have the rug yanked from under him when he’d found out she had a husband. Cameron had never confided in anyone how much her deception had hurt him. He’d shrugged it off as a yeah-well-we-were-just-fooling-around-anyway type of thing. Sure, it had started as that at first. But after a few weeks, at least for him, it had become something more. He’d looked forward to her coming to town, to seeing her, hearing about her week. Then Drew had shown up and literally punched the reality into him. He’d grieved in private and tried to move forward as best he could.
Since then he’d yet to meet a woman who was worth him exposing that hidden place. Until Audrey. Until her smile, her laughter, and her goodness, and bringing a little girl into his life who was afraid of toilets, befriended hairless cats, and made him see life differently.
Piper had returned home after eating dinner at her friend’s house. She’d come running through the front door and rambled to him and Audrey about how she’d had cut-up hot dogs, apples, and green peas. Then she’d gone straight to the backyard to play with her cat.
Cameron had attempted to help clean up the dinner dishes, but Audrey had shooed him outside. He suspected maybe she realized that he needed a moment to process some things. He’d gratefully slipped out the door and watched Piper roll around the grass, getting her clothes and hair filthy. He smiled at her lack of inhibition, wondering when the last time was that he’d allowed himself to be as carefree as she was, to smile and laugh like she did.
“Uncle Cameron, will you play catch with me?”
Cameron blinked and realized Piper had found the old football that had been left in the yard. He ambled down the porch steps and took the ball from her. “Do you know how to throw a football?”
“Sure,” she announced. She took the ball back, arched her arm over her head, and let the thing loose. It landed right in front of her and rolled to a stop. “See?”
Cameron chuckled and picked the ball back up. He palmed it in his hand, allowing himself to revel in the feel of the soft leather. “Not a bad try, but there’s a secret in throwing one of these things.” He glanced at her. “Want me to tell you what it is?”
Her eyes grew wide. “Yeah,” she whispered.
Cameron squatted in front of her and held the ball out. “See these white laces here?” He ran the tip of his index finger over them.
Piper touched them. “Is that where they sewed the ball to keep it from falling apart?”
Cute, but also an interesting observation. “No, this is to guide you on where to put your hands.” He showed her by demonstrating with his own fingers. “See, you palm the ball like this and line your fingers up with the laces. Then you can throw it.”
Piper watched the ball fly across the yard. She got up and ran for it. “I want to try it now.” She skipped back toward him, holding the ball in both hands. She attempted to palm the ball like he had, but her hand was too little. “Am I doing it right?”
Cameron made an adjustment to her fingers. “Now throw it. But don’t bring your arm back too far. And let the ball go about here,” he instructed as he demonstrated how to move her arm.
She gave it a shot, with a huge grin breaking across her face. Of course, she didn’t execute exactly how he’d shown her, but it was pretty damn close, and the ball flew a lot farther. She jumped up and down and ran to the ball.
“I wanna throw it again,” she announced. “Can I throw it and you catch it?” she asked him.
He stood from his crouch. “Sure.” He made sure not to go too far, knowing she wouldn’t be able to cross the whole yard with one throw.
She jumped up and down again and clapped her hands when he caught her throw. “Now you throw and I’ll catch it.”
Cameron waited for her to stand still before he let the ball fly. He arched it too high and the thing went flying through her hands, even after she jumped to try to catch it.
“You’re supposed to let me catch it,” Piper chastised him. She snagged the ball from the grass and threw it back to him. “Like that.”
Was she instructing him on how to throw the ball, after he just showed her? He grinned and shook his head. “Thanks for the pointer,” he told her. “I’ll see if I can do better.”
This time he underhanded it, and Piper held her arms out, but the ball bounced out of her hands and landed on the ground. “That’s not how you showed me to throw it.”
Damn, kid.
She threw the ball at him, and he caught it. “Okay, let’s try it again,” he said to her. “This time I want you to watch the ball and try to cradle it in your hands when you catch it.”
Piper tilted her head to one side. “You mean like a baby?”
Cameron opened his mouth, then burst out laughing. “Not really. I mean like this.” I tossed the ball in the air and caught it the way he described. “Understand?”
Piper nodded and swiped a strand of hair out of her face. The whole time Pinkie Pie had been running back and forth, as though she were trying to catch the ball too. Cameron had been tempted to drop the thing on her.
Cameron held the ball up with one hand. “Ready?”
The kid nodded again and held out her hands.
This time she caught it and jumped up and down. They played for a few more minutes, when Piper stopped and glanced toward where Audrey had stepped onto the back porch.
“Audrey, come play catch with us. Uncle Cameron taught me how to throw.”
Cameron glanced at her and allowed his gaze to appreciate the way her leggings showed off her slim legs. And damn if he didn’t want them wrapped around his hips.
“Yeah, I don’t really do the football thing,” she told them.
He arched a brow at her and silently winced at the pain it caused in his eye. “You are if you’re going to stay in this house,” he replied. “Get down here.”
She came down the steps. “I don’t suppose I have a choice in this?”
“No.” He snagged her wrist and yanked her in front of him. “It’ll be fun.”
“I doubt that,” she complained. “I don’t like football.”
“Bite your blasphemous tongue,” he warned, then placed the ball in her hands.
She took it, but held it out in front of herself like she didn’t know what to do with the thing. He rolled his eyes and readjusted her grip.
“It’s not going to bite you,” he soothed.
She slanted him a look over her shoulder. “Says you.”
He chuckled and placed her hand on the football and moved her fingers to rest on the laces. Yeah, he may have touched her more than he should have. Brushed the tops of her hands with his fingers longer than necessary. Stood a little too close, maybe made sure his hips nudged hers. Audrey cleared her throat, and Cameron told himself she was trying to cover up a moan. Because he sure as hell was.
“Make sure your fingers align with the laces like this,” he said as he showed her.
Her breath shuddered, and if Piper hadn’t been watching them, he would have spun her around and kissed the hell out of her. Cut and bruises be damned. His face was already throbbing. What was a little more pain?
“And don’t throw it too high,” Piper added as she watched them. He hoped she wasn’t watching the hard-on growing beneath his athletic pants.
“Maybe I should have Piper show me how to do this,” Audrey suggested when his erection nudged her rear end.
“Not on your life,” he growled in her ear.
“Are you masochistic?” she asked
Cameron paused and thought about it. “Probably. Now, pay attention, because there’ll be a quiz.” He raised her arm and demonstrated. “Let it go right about here,” he said as he showed her. “And you want the ball to have a spin.”
Audrey snorted. “Yeah, sure. I’ll make that happen.”
Cameron stepped away from her and crossed the yard.
“You expect me to throw this thing that far?” she asked him.
Beside her, Piper patted her leg. “Don’t worry, it just takes practice. Want me to show you?”
“Yeah, have at it, kid.”
Cameron narrowed his eyes at Audrey when she handed the ball to his niece. “Chicken,” he called out to her.
Audrey simply shrugged and stepped aside for Piper. The little girl raised her arm and sent the ball flying. But she threw it toward the ground and the ball hit and rolled lopsidedly toward a tree.
Audrey patted Piper on the back. “Wow, that was great,” she gushed at the girl, then gave Cameron a sly grin. “Your uncle’s a great teacher.”
Cameron picked up the ball and pointed it toward her. “You’re not getting out of this.”
“You have to cradle it like a baby,” Piper instructed. “Like this.” She held her hands out to show Audrey.
Audrey glanced back and forth between Piper and Cameron. “Um…”
But he didn’t give her time to reconsider or pass off to Piper. He arched a gentle throw, making sure it went right to her and wouldn’t smack her in the face. Audrey held her hands up, but it was to block the ball instead of catch it, and the ball hit her open hands and fell to the ground.
“You call this fun?” she questioned, then scooped the ball up. “Why does it have to be such a weird shape? Don’t you have any baseballs?”
Cameron sent her a dark look. “Baseball is for sissies. Now throw the thing already.”
Audrey muttered something, which sounded suspiciously like “stubborn ass.” Cameron kept his mouth shut and figured she’d probably toss the ball at his head if he pushed her much further. She arched her arm back and sent the thing sailing. It actually wasn’t a bad throw, just slightly off with the aim.
Cameron channeled his college playing days and stretched his arms to the side and had to practically dive for the thing.
“Whoa, that was a cool catch!” Piper gushed.
“You did that on purpose,” he accused Audrey.
But Audrey just shrugged and curled her mouth up in a half smile. Yeah, she’d thrown it shitty on purpose. Cameron was starting to suspect she was better at football than she wanted him to think.
Without warning, he let the ball fly, putting a full spin on it. Audrey’s reaction to catch it was so automatic that she didn’t even hesitate to cradle the thing and tuck it under her arm.
Cameron strolled toward her and yanked the ball from her grip. “You’re just a big, fat faker, aren’t you?”
She touched the tip of her index finger to the bruise on his eye. “You just seemed so eager to teach me that I didn’t want to crush your ego any more than it already was.”
His gaze dropped to her mouth. “Thoughtful of you.”
Pinkie Pie came running over and batted at the laces on Cameron’s shoes. He nudged the cat away. “Back away if you know what’s good for you, cat.”
“Come here, Pinkie.” Piper picked the animal up and cradled her close. “I think she wants to rock on the swing.” The two of them climbed the steps to the swing and plopped down. The cat squirmed to try to get away, but Piper had a tight grip on her.
“Can we be done with this lesson now?” Audrey asked.
Cameron grinned. “Why, because you don’t need lessons?”
Audrey yanked the ball back from him. “No.” She tossed the ball in the air and caught it again. “My dad taught us how to play. And then…when everything fell apart, we stopped.”
“And now it’s too painful for you to play?” he guessed.
She shook her head. “No. I just never really liked football to begin with.”
“Hmm.” He snatched the football back from her and bounced it back and forth between his hands. “I guess you’re forgiven, then.”
She smiled. “Kind of you.”
He moved to sit on the porch steps and motioned her to join him. “It’s a shame, because I could have had someone to toss the ball around with.” Why did he admit that? Like she cared.
“Well, who do you usually play with?”
Cameron shrugged and palmed the ball. “No one, really. Sometimes Brandon, but he works a lot. And now that he’s married and his son is off at college, he’s all about Stella. Selfish bastard,” he muttered.
Audrey grinned. “You’re not jealous, are you?”
He tossed her a confused look. “Of Brandon?”
“Yeah,” she answered with a shrug “Well, maybe not of him exactly. But what he has. A family. Someone to share his time with, or toss the ball around with.”
Actually, yeah. Sometimes he was a bit envious. “I never really thought about it like that,” he lied.
“It’s okay to admit it. I won’t tell anyone.” She paused a moment. “So why are you still single?”
He snorted. “It’s not like I can just run out and pick up a wife from the hardware store.”
“Maybe you just haven’t tried hard enough.”
The cool breeze that kicked up wrapped her lemony scent around him, and he wanted to bury his face in her hair. “Or maybe I hadn’t met anyone worth the effort.” Hadn’t he told her that already?
Her brow furrowed as she studied him. Busted. “Why did you say it like that?”
“Like what?” Yeah, totally believable.
“Hadn’t. It’s past tense, like you’re no longer looking.”
Cameron gazed over the lawn, listening to Piper croon to her cat, telling her what a pretty girl she was. He knew he had three choices. He could deny, which was his first instinct because he’d been doing it for so long. It would be easy to throw her off.
No, it wouldn’t, because she always sees right through you.
Yeah, so that probably wasn’t a good idea.
Then there was his personal favorite: distraction. He could just kiss the hell out of her, which he knew worked every time. But that would only be a temporary reprieve. It was truth time, and not only that but he also needed to start being honest with himself. From the second he’d met Audrey, he’d stopped being interested in other women.
“Yeah, you caught me,” he admitted. “I’m not really looking anymore.”
Audrey’s face fell, but only for a moment, because she gathered herself quickly. “You gave up that easily, huh?”
Cameron picked up the ball again, needing something to do with his hands, lest he tear her clothes off. “No, I haven’t given up.” He looked at her and held her gaze for a moment. “I stopped looking when I met you. Actually,” he continued with a shrug, “I don’t think I was ever really looking, because I didn’t care.”
Audrey’s throat worked as she swallowed. Her mouth opened, then snapped shut, followed by a laugh that sounded more nervous. “What’re you saying, Cameron?”
He cupped her chin and tugged her face closer to his. “I’m saying I haven’t cared about any other woman since I met you. I’m saying you’re the one who would make me…” His words trailed off, because his brain couldn’t seem to find the right ones to describe how he felt. Because he’d never felt like this before, and putting those feelings into words was way harder than he thought it would be.
Audrey’s tongue swiped across her full lower lip. He’d made her nervous. But at least she wasn’t running through her weird lists of names again. “Make you what?”
He cleared his throat and continued to hold fast on to her jaw. “Be better.”
She offered him a small smile. “Maybe I don’t want you to be better. Maybe I like you just the way you are.”
“I want to be better,” he corrected.
She shook her head, and he finally let go of her. “But you don’t need me for that.”
He grabbed her shoulders, needing her to understand. “Hell, yes, I do.”
She licked her lips again, and damn, he was this close to kissing her. “Cameron—”
“Don’t go back to Boulder,” he interrupted.
Her eyes grew wide. “I have to.”
He shrugged that off. “Okay, fine go back and tie up loose ends. But come back and don’t leave again.”
One of her brows arched. “Is that an order?”
“You know what I mean,” he answered.
“Actually, I’m not sure I do.”
He blew out a breath, getting the feeling he was blowing this. He was stumbling over his words too much, or not using enough finesse to get his point across. And what was his point? He wanted her to stay in Blanco Valley. He wanted her to move all her shit to his house and sleep in his bed. He wanted to turn the guest room into a girly, pink room for Piper. Hell, he’d even buy the damn cat her own bed.
But how could he make Audrey understand that? He’d never been good with words, and he knew that’s what she was waiting for.
He shoved a hand through his too-long hair. “I got a job offer in Denver,” he told her. “To be the head coach for a high school up there.”
She gaped at him for so long, Cameron wasn’t sure she was going to answer. “Congratulations,” she finally said.
He wanted to grab her and shake her. “That’s all you’re going to say? You’re not going to get all pissy for not telling you or possibly uprooting Piper again?”
“Do you want me to get pissy?” she asked.
He stood from the steps and glared down at her. “I want you to be honest. I want you to stomp your foot and yell at me for not thinking of Piper first. I want you to tell me to stay.”
She stood on the bottom step, so they were eye level. “If I tell you to stay, will you?”
Damn, this conversation wasn’t going as planned. “I haven’t decided yet.”
She jerked as though he’d stuck her. “Then why did you ask me?”
“Jesus,” he muttered to himself. He always felt like he was talking in circles with this woman. “I don’t know. I thought I did, but…” His words trailed off because, dammit, he didn’t know anymore.
Her eyes searched his, looking dangerously close to welling up. “But what?” When he didn’t answer, she went on. “I can’t tell you what to do, Cameron.”
“But you want to,” he guessed. Actually, it wasn’t a guess. He knew she was dying to blurt out all her feelings.
“What, are you waiting for me to tell you what to do? You won’t make a decision unless you know how I feel about it?”
Was that what he was doing? Was that why he’d waited so long to have this discussion? Her opinion mattered to him, and yet he knew the decision was solely his. So why was he having such a hard time?
Audrey glanced over her shoulder as though looking for someone else. “You don’t even know what you want, do you?”
That wasn’t true. He knew he wanted her and Piper. Hell, he wanted the whole family thing. But was he willing to give up his dream offer?
“Audrey—”
“You can’t have it all, Cameron,” she interrupted. “I can see the wheels turning in your mind. You’re trying to figure out a way to tie the whole package together the way you want it.”
That wasn’t what he was doing. Was it?
With a frustrated groan, Cameron ran a hand over his head. “Audrey,” he said again. He opened his mouth to tell her…Hell, he didn’t know what he wanted to tell her. Yeah, he wanted this job. He wanted Audrey too. But he didn’t know how to do both. She didn’t even live here, and he couldn’t bring himself to ask her to give up her life for him. Especially when he didn’t even know where he was going.
Audrey shook her head. “You know where to find me when you’ve made up your mind.”
Audrey inhaled a shaky breath and looked like she was about to say more when they both heard a snort from behind them. Piper was curled up on the swing, fast asleep with the cat curled into a tight ball at her feet.
“I’ll carry her to bed,” Cameron said.